Love Hate Relationship Finally Over! - Sylvania, OH

Had silicone implants inserted over muscle for breasts that were uneven (one side 2 sizes smaller). I used to stuff my bras in highschool but waited until I had all our kids to get implants to make them more even. I didn't even try to go huge and I loved them while they lasted 15 years then disaster struck>severe itching and pain in one which was an "old dried up hemotoma">reinserted implants in larger size under muscle>seroma, slight nerve damage and scar tissue build up, revisions and back to over muscle...with smaller size>capsular contractures and rubbing on scar/nerve>smaller size AGAIN...after issues didn't go away with latest size adjustment, I decided to just GET THEM OUT! Now I can actually take a breath and move my arms and not have the implant move over the scar tissue/nerve area to zing me. Yea! Still very sore as they did liposuction on the breast that was larger to begin with as it's still larger now with the implants out. I read that others had fat transfer but hadn't seen too many who had size adjustments with liposucton.
I feel flat as a pancake and hope they will fluff out as others have stated they do. Hoping for a better future. Thanks to all who posted before as it really helped me make and stick with my decision. The nurses and anesthesiologist ALL asked me on the explant day WHY I just didn't want to try to go smaller again and "was I SURE" this was what I wanted, etc.

Exciting to feel lighter but conflicted feelings on how "flat" they look still. Drains pulling even though I tried to secure them better. Can't wait to get them out.
My husband is supportive but really anxious as to how "FLAT" I'm looking and I"m not anxious to go back to work and have everyone wonder "what happened to you". I can't figure out what type of bra to wear that's not an underwire and not going to make it look like all of a sudden, I'm totally flat???

Yea, those dreaded drains came out! Not without a fight though as the left one where the liposuction was done on that breast REALLY hurt coming out and I actually yelled it hurt so bad. I did apologize and was glad I was in one of the back rooms. LOL The other one just burned a little but the left was terrible! But what a relief to not have those things hanging around all the time now. Next appt. in a week to get the sutures out.
My doctor was really nice and asked how I was doing emotionally with the removal. I told him it would take time to get used to the flatness as I hadn't expected to feel like some golfer tee'd up on my chest and made divots. He said they had to take lots of tissue out with the capsulectomy as there was so much scar tissue. Also that having had the breast implants for over 20 years would make a difference to the chest wall so I just had to give it several months or longer to see how everything shapes up. (just like others on this forum said:) I'm also feeling twinges from that nerve spot so not excited about that. Was hoping it would all just go away so hopefully time will heal that area too. At least now I know it's not from an implant constantly rubbing over that site. I also had a lump in the left upper side and thought that was a swollen lymph node but he said it was swollen as they had to suture some of my muscle back together at that spot from a previous cut or tear. Gees, what's up with that? But glad they fixed it.
My left breast is still really swollen and he said that would go down more. You can see from the picture how it is definitely larger than the right one. Just like old times, but hoping they even out more this time. Thanks for all of your support.
I'm getting some bras next so we'll see how that goes.

Back to work and I was so worried everyone would "know" and no one figured it out which I guess makes sense as I didn't tell anyone what I was doing on my days off. As with what others have said...a few just mentioned I looked thinner, and I am, so that is great. Guess if you don't tell anyone, no one is expecting anything different so they aren't really looking for anything new anyway. So that worked out well. I have been more tired these last two days and just went to bed earlier yesterday. By this weekend I'm sure everything will be lots better.

Yea, got the sutures out today. Still uncomfortable wearing sports bras all day even though they have some padding in them. Using the Bali one with the larger bottom band which seems to be the best one so far for me. I usually change into another t shirt bra that has hooks and eyes in the front when home as this works to change it up a little on the incision line. This one doesn't have any padding with seams to rub on the incision line so it works to change them out. Still sleeping in a little bralet-really thin stretchy fabric- at night otherwise my chest seems to ache. Think I overdid the activity this weekend and my chest is sore now from that. Nice that I can be more active now though.
Dr. said they are still swollen from the capsulectomy and the lipo on the left. That one is still larger but he said "give it time to go down". I'm not the patient type but guess it will have to do. The one side is still "pulling" on the muscle and I guess I'll just have to live with it. He said he really couldn't do anything more with the scar tissue inside and I'm supposed to massage the sternal area to be sure more scar tissue doesn't form there this time. He again emphasized that the "divot" would need months for the chest wall to "figure out the implants aren't there any more" and start to "shift and fill in". Overall, doing better so that's cool! Still a good decision.

I also forgot to say that when I was at the PS office to get the sutures out I asked the tech for another set of steristrips so I could put these on after cleaning the incision line in the shower one time. I think this may help with keeping the incision flatter, so just an idea for others to consider too. They didn't have any problem giving them to me. I also asked for another pack of the thicker ones when I had the original surgery date and used these strips to loop around the drain tubes to anchor them better. This cut down on some of the movement of the tubes which was really killing me especially on the left side for some reason.

I keep reading others' posts and see some others had some "depression" times too so know I'm not alone so that's good but I wish I felt better about this. I keep waiting for the breasts to look a little better and feel better too and it just seems to be taking longer than I thought. I'm three weeks out and still can't do more than walking for exercise. I tried to "run" short distance to play with some 3 year olds and my chest started killing me so that lasted about 2 minutes for an activity. I saw that some others on the forum were out running distances by now, so this is frustrating in addition to being painful.
Then getting a bra for the interim (before an underwire) has been a trip too. I liked the bali sports bra type with padding but this seems to be chaffing up by my armpits now and the padding part's seams rubbing on the breasts. I recently lost over 15 lbs before the procedure so know it's not that I'm fat. I went and got another type from Target that seemed better as it had adjustable straps but these aren't long enough for my long torso. It's like I need a tall bra to reach down to how far the small amount of tissue is...then if I get a large size so it's not too tight on the suture lines, the padding part is actually caved in. That only makes me feel worse about the divot part.
I'm definitely worse off than before implants and wish I had the complaints that some others had where they went from a DD to a B. I don't even think one side is an AAA. If I raise my arms over my head, that side is totally flat. If I didn't have the suture line firmness, I think it would look like I had a mastectomy on that side. The other lipo side is still bigger than this flat right one so I'm not sure how that is going to turn out either. I'm also wondering if I have some extra fluid in that side too as it seems squishier than the other one.
I know eventually this will all work out and things "just take time"...but I wish I could be more positive now while that happens.

Seems like it's taking forever to get back to feeling like me again. My chest is still sore I guess from the capsule removal surgery part and I want to be able to do more without any pain. I don't take anything for it, just annoying. Nothing really changed in the pics either. Still divot ville and squished nipples. If I raise my arms over my head, the breasts look like little bags without anything in them. I'm trying some circular motion massage on the incision line and tissue to see if that helps.

WOW, I feel more like myself this week so YEA! Still sore but Oh Well, it will just take more time.
Thanks to all who keep posting the pics and comments. It sure helps to see others in the same boat or with different things going on!

So I am still flatter than ever and still wearing the sports bras with padding. When I was more swollen, the bra seemed to stay down better. Now lately, the bras are sliding up during the day and the padding part eventually is left sitting there with just "air" in it.
Good thing the padding has some shape to it so my clothes don't look too weird. But it's hilarious that I have to keep pulling the bras down all day so that there is something in them. It's because I have a "long torso" as my first plastic surgeon stated when she told me it was a good thing I decided to get implants...I may resort to sewing some type of insert into the straps so they are longer and stay down.
I may also venture to the store to try to get some regular bras with padding soon and see if those will stay down better. The two sides are still not the same so I don't want to buy "too early" and then have to get another size down again later.
I am also having trouble not laughing when I see other women with huge breasts that I think have had implant surgery because I feel like they will have trouble later and just don't even know what's in store for them later due to their decision. It's not really funny but it makes me recall the process I've been through and am glad I'm on the other side now and don't have to worry about that any more.

They are very comfortable to wear but I'm still having issues with them riding up and some of what is left of my tissue hanging out from the bottom. Good thing I'm still wearing looser fitting clothes so no one is noticing this but I keep having to pull them down all day. I'm going shopping soon to see if I can fit in a regular bra that has some lift or more support as this is nuts.