9mos post op MM

I'm 9mos po now. I had a breast revision that I'm still not happy with. I was supposed to have yet another surgery back in december but decided to postpone as I wasn't sure whether to go back and get the proper procedure done or not. I believe I was supposed to either get a vertical lift OR bigger implants to fill the breast tissue I have. My ps only did a Benelli lift with 450 textured rounds. The revision, he had to go in and pull the implants down and release scarring which was pulling it upwards.

I just had a 2nd opinion with another ps. He wants to start over and change out the implants to smooth. And of course all this will be in a surgery center and will cost $9k+. Sigh. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!

I kept asking my ps "will they come down? Will they come into the pockets? Is the areola going to push out when it does fall into place? Will I have a more rounded look when it does?" All these questions were always going to be NO! Because they are textured!!! And they weren't going to move from where they were placed!! At one of my appt a he even mumbled how he hated using textured implants! .....oh, forgot, he even had me do displacement exercises!! Why?!! It made no difference!! The new ps agreed that my breast is not "one". I have the implant and I have hanging breast. I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO PROCEED! As far as my ps and what surgery I was to get done was do the lollipop....in the office! Under sedation!! He also said at one point at my last fu that I did indeed have a capsular contracture in my right breast!! Um, won't he have to go back into the capsule and release the scarring?!! ARGHHHH!!! I am so mad!! Idk what he is doing anymore. And I don't really trust him. Idk if I have a malpractice suit on my hands given him saying one thing at first them another after the fact. I'm really embarrassed that I didn't see plenty other docs.

So......I went to my fu visit after getting left dog ear fixed almost a month ago. All is well. Now, we talked about the breast and how the look is not what I wanted. I am scheduled to now get yet another revision (or shall we say surgery!) to now do the vertical incision to remove breast tissue. He is also charging me for the operating room (which is in his office)! I am really upset that I am getting charged for this! For one, bc he said all along that he would do it "no charge", never said there would be a fee for the operating room, and IT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BEGIN WITH!! I am very disappointed in my doctor. I can't wait to just be done with him!! I am afraid that I still won't get the result i am looking for bc I am not sure he is "getting" what I am trying to say. I think I am going to get second opinions but I need to move fast with appts!

I feel so defeated! I am afraid of something happening to me under sedation (for 3hrs!!)

Also, he is going to fix dog ear on the right side, which I told him about before and he disregarded what I told him.

Sigh, I am so over this doctor!!!

So I went to the office to have my dog ear on the left side removed. I did not like the uncomfortableness of it. But all I kept thinking to myself was "it's painful to be beautiful!" Waxing of hair=painful. Wearing tight spanx=painful. Getting a mommy makeover=PAINFUL! So what's a little more pain?! Well anyways. Every time I feel "yeah, my PS and I are on the same page!" He does or DOESN'T do something and it sets me back. At my last appt he said he was going to remove the dog ear and do a little lipo on my hip area bc it appears the left hip bone sits higher than the right and so lipo will give it the appearance of looking the same?? Idk. Anyways, I was set to have this said lipo. When I questioned about lipo pain (my way of finding out of he was still doing this lipo, lol) he said he wasn't going to do it, that I didn't need it. Huh?!!! Then why did u say I did last time?! Ughhh. Confusing! Maybe it's for the best anyways. Who knows. He may have lipo'd too much and then I would look more deformed! Haha! I don't see what he sees anyways...hip bone higher etc.

On another note: I went to nordy's to get fitted for a bra......36DDD!!!!! Wholy hell?!!! I wish I knew what I wore BEFORE!!! Now I will never know! I'm still unsure whether to get the vertical lift. It will make my boobs smaller. Which is what I was kinda going for from the get go but idk. Idk if I want to heal from yet another scar. BUT I want the full roundness look I have when my arms are raised all the time. And I don't have that. So I still have a few months to decide. Let me know your thoughts on this! Thanks!!!