Rhinoplasty . New York, NY

I had my nose done by Dr. Jon Turk and Dr. Mark Erlich from Profiles and Contours.
The result is not simply unsatisfactory. At the same time I find I can't even use the word "botch" because it seems it is reserved for specific cases where a person practically loses have their nose or everything "falls apart".
At the same time, I know that this procedure has left my nose as the absolute bane of my existence, it is what I can only describe as "very wrong". My nose was near perfect before but I didn't know this at the time. My parents told me No so many times but I believe I had BDD then and low self esteem so I focused on one body part and blamed it for all my problems. Even though it was actually one of my best features, and now I would do ANYTHINGto have it back. Any competent Dr. Would have turned me away and never agreed to operate, esp cosmetically, on a nose as good as mine was. I was in a vulnerable position and I wish a professional would have had the mind to tell me No. Especially seeing as I was just a teen and clearly had nothing wrong with my nose. Unfortunately that did not happen.
I had the surgery and 4.5 years later -
My nose, my face, my confidence, my hope, has all been stolen from me.
My Dr. Thinned out my bridge so much that it feels flat and boxy. I can see and feel bone and sharp edges. My nose overall looks "strange", esp with regards to my face. It is too small. It is not smooth what so ever. The tip has one rounder side on my left, and one flatter/sharper side on my right. My bridge does not meet my tip. When I feel my nose, I feel a big, bally tip attached to a thin, boxy bridge. It feels so weird, it's hard for me to wash my face without crying. Even avoiding pics and Mirrors isn't enough for me because my problems can be felt. Quite dramatically. There are numerous problems with my nose including too much nostril show. I'm not sure what causes this? Is taking away too much tissue the cause? Idk. I just know my nose isn't even a nose anymore, it's an ugly alien feature on my poor face. I have had comments about it, one was from a fellow person I met in therapy. I don't leave the house. These past few weeks I've felt my body shutting down as a result of my mind adjusting to the reality of my situation. I can't eat more than one meal a day. I haven't showered or even brushed my teeth. I just sob and sit on my couch wondering how this happened. I didn't know a human being could be this dead inside and still be breathing. Which brings me to another issue. My operation was a septo-rhino for a barely deviated septum. Now i can't breathe through my left side. I have to stick my finger in my nose and press my left side into my right side in order to get relief. But don't get me wrong, the breathing part plays no role in my emotional turmoil. It is wholly the cosmetic nightmarish outcome that has turned my life and identity upside down.
All I do is look for revision surgeons but they are all so far away and some charge consult fees, also as soon as I think I've found a good one, I read something bad, or have doubt.
Also it's expensive, Idk how much longer I can hold oUT Hope.
I also don't know if a Surgeon will agree to operate on someone who has such emotional distress as I do. But how can I not?
This is My Face.
This is what I show to the world.
And to myself, in the mirror everyday.
This is the horrifying nose I feel with my fingers and see in both real life and pics.
This is the decision that brought my life to a screeching hault.
I don't know if Drs understand the psychological turmoil a bad result causes.
Which is why I'm writing this review.
To help others.
To warn you.
I thought I did my research.
I thought I needed a nose job when CLEARLY that was not the case.
Think more than twice about touching your face.
I believe there are actually very few people who can benefit substantially from a nose job. That includes trauma victims and people with natural deformities or blatant nose structures that interfere with the rest of their facial harmony and thus their self confidence.
I see many people on this site with lovely noses that they want to change and I want to shake them and say "No! Don't touch your beautiful face!" I want to save someone from what I could not be saved from. All I wish is to go into the past and run out of that operating room. I wouldn't care what happened from doing so, I would be smiling and shouting with Joy could I go back knowing what I know now. To think about it, brings me to tears. I feel as though I am grieving my own death. The beautiful girl I once was is gone. My nose being botched has caused my personhood to be torn to shreds as well. I'm no longer Me. Inside and Out.
To all you beautiful souls out there, when you risk your face, you risk who you are as well! Don't do it! If you have even the slightest doubt or if family is telling you NO WAY, if psychologists tell you you may have BDD, if anything at all, please don't have elective cosmetic surgery! Do it for me, do it for yourself! At least let my review let you see that bad results are not a work of fiction, they are very real, even when your young and your surgeon promises you will be just fine, just perfect. Trust me, it's not the case.
A good, lasting revision is a hope that seems to elude me at every corner.

Hello,
Here are some more post op photos taken on all different days from all different angles in all different lighting. I never wear makeup/foundation or anything so nothing is camouflaged or hidden, sometimes I notice people contour their noses with makeup and such so it's hard to tell what their result is. Luckily my pics are pretty raw :/. As you can see, sometimes my nose looks like a whole different nose depending on what lighting or angle it is under/on. But no matter what it appears to be, there are always major issues. That is the only constant in this string of images. You know things are bad when your nose looks horrible in so many different ways. No amount of filters or photography skills could hide what was done to me. I was beautiful wih a lovely nose pre-op. I was not perfect and I was not a model, but that doesn't give the surgeon the right to mess up my entire face by butchering my nose into something alien. I was very pretty and most importantly I was ME. Normal, Unbotched Me. Now I can't even look at myself without fainting or feeling physically ill. No one and I mean NOONE should have to feel this way. I hope my review can make people think twice about touching their natural selves. Their Real Selves.

A little bit about the Person (because you already know the Nose) : I just want to let everyone know that I am not a plastic surgery junky or someone who wants to be "done" in every which way. I am also not rich and neither I nor my family has money to spend. ESP on these kind of procedures. We are your average middle class family. I was a teenager like every other, but I was a perfectionist. I believe this personality trait is what led me to seek out rhinoplasty. I am the girl that would cry not only at the thought of a minus sign beside the A on her paper, but also at the lack of +. I have battled with numerous disorders that are common of my personality type and I believe the last, and most fatal, BDD, was one of them. Any sane person should be able to tell from my pre op photos that my nose was fantastic before, but I didn't see that and I didn't wait long enough or get the right kind of therapy to "unsee" it. I won't get into detail but in the end neither me nor my parents had the mind or the information to deal with what I was going through properly. And so I blame the professionals. Two of which being these two doctors who consulted for/did my rhinoplasty surgery. I was only 17 after all. I wasn't a grown adult who knew better. Whether it be aesthetics or otherwise. I was also not one of those people you see on TLC's exploitative shows where they literally ask to be "disfigured" bringing in pictures of Madonna or Justin Bieber. Ironically, All I did was bring in pics of myself from when I was younger, saying I wanted my nose to look a little more like it was before. (Weird how I'm asking for the same exact thing now). You know how as kids we all have cute little button noses and then as we get older we are like, "hey wait a second..." "What happened" . Well I guess that was my thought process at the time. So silly. Not that the doctor even bothered to look at my pics anyway.... My nose hadnt changed much from when I was younger but for some reason I thought it would make a huge difference. I should have been told that I would grow into my nose, even when, in all honesty, everything was already in great harmony on my face. If a patient has a good harmony going on with their facial features, shouldn't an experienced facial surgeon be able to foresee that doing "this" or "that" would cause that harmony to be wrecked? And not just that, but shouldn't they be able to tell if a nose can withstand being sucked of any more cartilage? I'm not a doctor. The risks and procedure should have been explained to me, or at least to my parents. But that didn't happen. And even if my nose DIDNT need to be touched, even if they decided to go and mess with it, it still should NEVER in a million years, have turned out like THIS. This is not simply a difference. This is not a change that I need to get used to. This is not "another version" of Good. This is a Nightmare. Basically I'm Trying to give you guys a little more info about myself so that if anyone can relate then they can message me. Now I have to worry about Psych evaluations for my revision because of the absolute Hell I've been put through, and the irony is that if I had had a psych evaluation Before my Primary then there's a good chance I would never be in this predicament. It's funny how patients who have actual deformities are made to get a psych evaluation by their surgeon before secondary or tertiary cosmetic surgery and yet, a kid with a near perfect nose asking to go under the knife is just let on into the firing range, no questions asked. The world really is not a fair place. The plastic surgery world is that, ten fold. When you get botched, there are so many hoops you have to jump through to get a Revision. I can barely stand on my own two feet because of all this. So how in gods name am I supposed to jump through a damn hoop? Us revision seekers have it bad enough having to wake up every day to a face or body that we can't escape. We have to spend the time and energy on research and consults and probably even travel expenses Plus the expense of the actual surgery. (It's not like we got our money back from the First one(s)) And you know the worst part? No guarantee. No guarantee we will finally get what we want, need, or even look normal. No guarantee that even if we get a good result, that it will last. My god, if I could just get a guarantee that one day it's all going to be okay, the things I would be able to do! A guarantee or a time machine. That's what I would ask for when rubbing the magic lamp. In my dreams.