Rhinoplasty . New York, NY

Hey guys,
I just want to let anyone know, who has contacted me recently, or in the past, that I will get to your messages eventually but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.
A lot has piled up and I keep putting off responding, and I apologize because so many of you have been very helpful and understanding.
I know there's more than 15 people awaiting my pms alone and that's the only reason I am typing this up as an update.
I just don't have the mind power to let each of you know individually.
(Since I usually write such LONG messages as I like to cover everything we speak about thoroughly)
But don't worry.
And don't think I am ignoring you.
Chances are I have read your messages/emails or replies to comments (even if they were months ago!), but have simply been trying to sort some other things out, off this site.
I will get to them all as soon as I can though.
I apologize.
If it's anything urgent, then please just state the urgency in the title of your message to me and I will try to get to it before all the others that I have neglected.
I also have been commenting here and there so I may seem very active on this site when really, I have not been as much.
Even tho my last update was such a short time ago, the messages I have let build up have finally compiled to something I can't touch at the moment.
So please bear with me.
Thank you so much~
..Hopefully this isn't an annoyance to anyone who this does not apply to.
I am sorry it's not a "real" update.
But I hope to have one as soon as I begin to take some more steps forward.

IMPORTANT:
Some of these pics (aka pre-op and swelling) are from over 5 years ago. Refer to the rest of my review for the accurate timeline and current photos/issues.

I am only digging up and posting these photos to show people how much swelling goes down over such a long period of time.
And how for some of us...that is a very Unfortunate occurrence.

So for those of you worrying about how "huge" your nose is early post -op.
Trust me, it gets smaller.

And I say smaller and not better because...well...see for yourself.

My swelling disappearing only unearthed the Ruin beneath.

Swelling is a double edged sword.
And since we all swell, we never really know which side we get in the end.
Until much much later.
Here's hoping you aren't on the side I was.


Note: And if this is the first post of mine you are reading...yes..I am already aware that my pre-op nose did not need to be touched.
Unfortunately I was young and trusted the wrong person to make a "small" change.

I'm not entirely sure if this is still accurate... But are we still really unable to edit our own posts?

Also, In reading some comments to my review, I see that a lot of people are commenting on my first two posts as if they are the most recent/only posts.
Because the earliest ones are the ones that show up first and most people don't scroll down all the way, especially for long reviews like my own.

So In seeing how this can be misleading, I have had to read over my first few posts to understand the context in which some people were commenting to me.

And Well, it looks like I was pretty emotional and "honest" during my first few posts.
And now I'm not so sure that's a good thing, as things that may have been "true" to me then, may not be any longer...Now that I have done some research and calmed down a bit.

Don't get me wrong.
I still feel the same about my nose, maybe even worse, knowing now what REALLY goes into this revision and the journey.
But the WAY I spoke was a bit too raw and more like a diary entry than a review.

To be honest, when I first came on this site, I thought I had found an outlet and I was under the impression that only other patients would be reading my words.
I wanted to help them.
And I wanted them to help me.

I was also unaware that I would never be able to edit my posts.
That is actually quite disturbing.

In almost every other form of social media, we are able to "take things back" and accidents and mistakes can be wiped away with a "delete" button. I am not personally associated or fond of social media but I think most people who are, have posted a cringey photo or statement only to look at it later and say to themselves "Did I really post that?"

And since RealSelf is not strictly a cut and dry anonymous review site, I think the same rules should apply that apply to all other forms of social media.
We should have DIRECT ownership of our own words and photos.
We should have the right to edit as we so desire.
If reviews are being removed for no other reason than the site being "paid off" to do so.
Then things are already NOT operating on strict nor solid ground.
And the same freedoms that this site seems to sometimes use with out intellectual property and stories, SHOULD, at the very least, also be given to the posters themselves.

I would absolutely not want to remove my whole review but certain things I would like to change the wording of, and considering what I've been through, I should be able to.
And so should others.

Our posts should not be as permanent as our bad results if we don't want them to be.
I feel like this site is holding many people hostage.

People say things in a much different manner when they are in their most extreme period of pain and hurt. And we are often confused and say things that may not make sense or may even be worrisome because we ourselves, can't make sense of the situation just yet.
And we, understandably so, ARE worried.
I don't think most people know what this site really IS before they decide to spill their whole life's woes on here.
Myself included.

If every person were to share their life stories with the world, with the same emotion that is felt behind closed doors, then we would probably ALL think each other mad.

And we don't need surgeons who could possibly save us from our situation..reading things that would normally have never made it outside our bedroom walls.

SANE people say 'crazy' things in 'crazy' ways when they are thrown into 'crazy' situations.

That's a normal thing.

And plastic surgery, especially with poor results, is the 'abnormal' thing.

But I could see how, being a stranger, seeing these things written out, may cause them to shy away from the person writing them.
Even if the poster has valid concerns.
And even if the one reading these posts, has the skill and the experience to help the poster physically. (And thus, quite significantly, emotionally as well.)

I would imagine the reason for this would be because:
There ARE actual nutters out there and I bet everyone, patients and doctors alike, have encountered at least one.
But there will be times in our lives where we will all sound nuts.

I'm sure if patients heard the things that their doctors said or did in their own home, they may be terrified of that Doctor.
Even IF, when it all comes down to it, he/she wields the hand of God in the operating room.

But doctors aren't likely to go spilling their guts online.
So we will most likely never see the side of them that they can see of us... Here on RealSelf.

I believe there are good things about this site and I will not leave. But not being able to edit our own posts is something that should be changed.
As soon as possible.

Personally, I think there are upsides to revealing everything in a moment to others.
But perhaps we should at least be able to pick and choose WHO we share it all with.
There should be private settings or something.

Some stuff should be shared with everyone and some should not, and we, as the users, should be able to control what is our own.

As for me, I think most of my stuff is okay to stay, even my photos, right now I am okay with keeping them up.
But what if I change my mind in the future?
What kind of Hell will I have to go through to remove what I end up wanting to remove?
And how will I do it without compromising all the stuff I would like to stay in order to help others?

Not knowing this does not make me feel safe.
I would like to feel safe as a user of this site.
And I would like most of what I put on here to end up helping me rather than hurting me.

I think many others feel the same.

I hope heavy improvements are made to this site in the very near future.