I had my nose done by Dr. Jon Turk and Dr. Mark...
I had my nose done by Dr. Jon Turk and Dr. Mark Erlich from Profiles and Contours.
The result is not simply unsatisfactory. At the same time I find I can't even use the word "botch" because it seems it is reserved for specific cases where a person practically loses have their nose or everything "falls apart".
At the same time, I know that this procedure has left my nose as the absolute bane of my existence, it is what I can only describe as "very wrong". My nose was near perfect before but I didn't know this at the time. My parents told me No so many times but I believe I had BDD then and low self esteem so I focused on one body part and blamed it for all my problems. Even though it was actually one of my best features, and now I would do ANYTHINGto have it back. Any competent Dr. Would have turned me away and never agreed to operate, esp cosmetically, on a nose as good as mine was. I was in a vulnerable position and I wish a professional would have had the mind to tell me No. Especially seeing as I was just a teen and clearly had nothing wrong with my nose. Unfortunately that did not happen.
I had the surgery and 4.5 years later -
My nose, my face, my confidence, my hope, has all been stolen from me.
My Dr. Thinned out my bridge so much that it feels flat and boxy. I can see and feel bone and sharp edges. My nose overall looks "strange", esp with regards to my face. It is too small. It is not smooth what so ever. The tip has one rounder side on my left, and one flatter/sharper side on my right. My bridge does not meet my tip. When I feel my nose, I feel a big, bally tip attached to a thin, boxy bridge. It feels so weird, it's hard for me to wash my face without crying. Even avoiding pics and Mirrors isn't enough for me because my problems can be felt. Quite dramatically. There are numerous problems with my nose including too much nostril show. I'm not sure what causes this? Is taking away too much tissue the cause? Idk. I just know my nose isn't even a nose anymore, it's an ugly alien feature on my poor face. I have had comments about it, one was from a fellow person I met in therapy. I don't leave the house. These past few weeks I've felt my body shutting down as a result of my mind adjusting to the reality of my situation. I can't eat more than one meal a day. I haven't showered or even brushed my teeth. I just sob and sit on my couch wondering how this happened. I didn't know a human being could be this dead inside and still be breathing. Which brings me to another issue. My operation was a septo-rhino for a barely deviated septum. Now i can't breathe through my left side. I have to stick my finger in my nose and press my left side into my right side in order to get relief. But don't get me wrong, the breathing part plays no role in my emotional turmoil. It is wholly the cosmetic nightmarish outcome that has turned my life and identity upside down.
All I do is look for revision surgeons but they are all so far away and some charge consult fees, also as soon as I think I've found a good one, I read something bad, or have doubt.
Also it's expensive, Idk how much longer I can hold oUT Hope.
I also don't know if a Surgeon will agree to operate on someone who has such emotional distress as I do. But how can I not?
This is My Face.
This is what I show to the world.
And to myself, in the mirror everyday.
This is the horrifying nose I feel with my fingers and see in both real life and pics.
This is the decision that brought my life to a screeching hault.
I don't know if Drs understand the psychological turmoil a bad result causes.
Which is why I'm writing this review.
To help others.
To warn you.
I thought I did my research.
I thought I needed a nose job when CLEARLY that was not the case.
Think more than twice about touching your face.
I believe there are actually very few people who can benefit substantially from a nose job. That includes trauma victims and people with natural deformities or blatant nose structures that interfere with the rest of their facial harmony and thus their self confidence.
I see many people on this site with lovely noses that they want to change and I want to shake them and say "No! Don't touch your beautiful face!" I want to save someone from what I could not be saved from. All I wish is to go into the past and run out of that operating room. I wouldn't care what happened from doing so, I would be smiling and shouting with Joy could I go back knowing what I know now. To think about it, brings me to tears. I feel as though I am grieving my own death. The beautiful girl I once was is gone. My nose being botched has caused my personhood to be torn to shreds as well. I'm no longer Me. Inside and Out.
To all you beautiful souls out there, when you risk your face, you risk who you are as well! Don't do it! If you have even the slightest doubt or if family is telling you NO WAY, if psychologists tell you you may have BDD, if anything at all, please don't have elective cosmetic surgery! Do it for me, do it for yourself! At least let my review let you see that bad results are not a work of fiction, they are very real, even when your young and your surgeon promises you will be just fine, just perfect. Trust me, it's not the case.
A good, lasting revision is a hope that seems to elude me at every corner.
More POST OP photos
Hello,
Here are some more post op photos taken on all different days from all different angles in all different lighting. I never wear makeup/foundation or anything so nothing is camouflaged or hidden, sometimes I notice people contour their noses with makeup and such so it's hard to tell what their result is. Luckily my pics are pretty raw :/. As you can see, sometimes my nose looks like a whole different nose depending on what lighting or angle it is under/on. But no matter what it appears to be, there are always major issues. That is the only constant in this string of images. You know things are bad when your nose looks horrible in so many different ways. No amount of filters or photography skills could hide what was done to me. I was beautiful wih a lovely nose pre-op. I was not perfect and I was not a model, but that doesn't give the surgeon the right to mess up my entire face by butchering my nose into something alien. I was very pretty and most importantly I was ME. Normal, Unbotched Me. Now I can't even look at myself without fainting or feeling physically ill. No one and I mean NOONE should have to feel this way. I hope my review can make people think twice about touching their natural selves. Their Real Selves.
Even more pics (some may be repeats, sorry)
A little bit about the Person (because you already know the Nose) :
I just want to let everyone know that I am not a plastic surgery junky or someone who wants to be "done" in every which way. I am also not rich and neither I nor my family has money to spend. ESP on these kind of procedures. We are your average middle class family. I was a teenager like every other, but I was a perfectionist. I believe this personality trait is what led me to seek out rhinoplasty. I am the girl that would cry not only at the thought of a minus sign beside the A on her paper, but also at the lack of +. I have battled with numerous disorders that are common of my personality type and I believe the last, and most fatal, BDD, was one of them. Any sane person should be able to tell from my pre op photos that my nose was fantastic before, but I didn't see that and I didn't wait long enough or get the right kind of therapy to "unsee" it. I won't get into detail but in the end neither me nor my parents had the mind or the information to deal with what I was going through properly. And so I blame the professionals. Two of which being these two doctors who consulted for/did my rhinoplasty surgery. I was only 17 after all. I wasn't a grown adult who knew better. Whether it be aesthetics or otherwise. I was also not one of those people you see on TLC's exploitative shows where they literally ask to be "disfigured" bringing in pictures of Madonna or Justin Bieber. Ironically, All I did was bring in pics of myself from when I was younger, saying I wanted my nose to look a little more like it was before. (Weird how I'm asking for the same exact thing now). You know how as kids we all have cute little button noses and then as we get older we are like, "hey wait a second..." "What happened" . Well I guess that was my thought process at the time. So silly. Not that the doctor even bothered to look at my pics anyway....
My nose hadnt changed much from when I was younger but for some reason I thought it would make a huge difference. I should have been told that I would grow into my nose, even when, in all honesty, everything was already in great harmony on my face. If a patient has a good harmony going on with their facial features, shouldn't an experienced facial surgeon be able to foresee that doing "this" or "that" would cause that harmony to be wrecked? And not just that, but shouldn't they be able to tell if a nose can withstand being sucked of any more cartilage? I'm not a doctor. The risks and procedure should have been explained to me, or at least to my parents. But that didn't happen. And even if my nose DIDNT need to be touched, even if they decided to go and mess with it, it still should NEVER in a million years, have turned out like THIS. This is not simply a difference. This is not a change that I need to get used to. This is not "another version" of Good. This is a Nightmare.
Basically I'm Trying to give you guys a little more info about myself so that if anyone can relate then they can message me.
Now I have to worry about Psych evaluations for my revision because of the absolute Hell I've been put through, and the irony is that if I had had a psych evaluation Before my Primary then there's a good chance I would never be in this predicament. It's funny how patients who have actual deformities are made to get a psych evaluation by their surgeon before secondary or tertiary cosmetic surgery and yet, a kid with a near perfect nose asking to go under the knife is just let on into the firing range, no questions asked. The world really is not a fair place. The plastic surgery world is that, ten fold.
When you get botched, there are so many hoops you have to jump through to get a Revision. I can barely stand on my own two feet because of all this. So how in gods name am I supposed to jump through a damn hoop?
Us revision seekers have it bad enough having to wake up every day to a face or body that we can't escape. We have to spend the time and energy on research and consults and probably even travel expenses Plus the expense of the actual surgery. (It's not like we got our money back from the First one(s)) And you know the worst part? No guarantee.
No guarantee we will finally get what we want, need, or even look normal. No guarantee that even if we get a good result, that it will last.
My god, if I could just get a guarantee that one day it's all going to be okay, the things I would be able to do!
A guarantee or a time machine.
That's what I would ask for when rubbing the magic lamp.
In my dreams.
Researching revisionists
Anyone know of a revisionist that would be good for my case? Genuine messages,pics,and experiences are welcome. I am willing to exchange emails in order for us to help one another. So far, I have many on my list, and at the top are Dr.Le, Dr.Frankel, and Dr.Davis.
Research Continued. Prospective Doctors Emailed.
So far I have emailed quite a few surgeons.
I have not however, emailed my top 3, Dr.D (FL), Dr.F (CA), and Dr.L (MD)
I feel like I need to get a hold on my situation before I contact them as I am sure I will eventually have to have in-person consults.
I'm hoping to get as many assessments over email as I can for now.
It's too emotionally and financially draining to go to ALL these people in person.
I have emailed the following doctors:
-Dr.Rawnsley(CA)- required a $300 Fee for a Skype Consultation..so no
-Dr.Raval (CO): No mention of a consult fee but would not look at my pictures over email or any other means of virtual communication
-Dr.Boahene (MD)- Emailed me back with a short message saying that 'Yes' I could send my photos to him for review. (So I did...hopefully I'm not charged all of the sudden!) will update..
-Dr.Constantian (NH)-His patient coordinator/assistant got back to me telling me to complete an at home consult form by clicking an icon on their website....but I couldn't find such an icon. Maybe it is because I'm on a mobile?.. Anyway I asked her about it and am waiting to hear back...
-Dr.Lamperti (WA)- Was not expecting to like him so much. Extremely helpful over email, gave me a pretty detailed assessment based on the pictures I gave him (35 of them!). Ofcourse, he still wants me to come in person. He would also like my original operative notes if possible (my primary surgeon isn't responding to me). My only qualms about him are his young age and the fact they I don't hear much about him on here or the MMH boards. (Also the price he quoted me was REALLY HIGH..there is financing tho..i think it's because I require rib) He has a lot of videos of all his techniques and his before and afters look really natural. That goes for both his primaries and revisions.
His website is the best I've seen. At the same time, I still want a pretty nose, and I fear that while it might come out natural and structurally sound, it might not be flattering or defined enough. Basically I just don't want to end up with the OPPOSITE problem.
After having suffered for 5 years, I don't think that's too much to ask..ya know?
He does seem like he would listen to every last thing I had to say though. I don't think it would be hard to be on the same page.
While the age does worry me, I feel like maybe it is a good thing. I think the longer surgeons are in this profession, the more they begin to get frustrated with their patients.
So maybe I should jump on this guy's operating table before he gets sullied by the business like everyone else!
Ugh..I just don't know!
..oh also he actually gave me a realistic revision rate unlike most surgeons (still very low tho)..And he said he usually doesn't charge if he has to go back in and fix anything.
-Dr.Naderi (VA)- One of his staff got back to me and was pretty polite but she said I would eventually have to come for an in person consult but since I'm out of town I could do one over FaceTime or Skype...however a consultation fee would have to be collected...-_-
Dr.Naficy (WA)- also very polite staff emailed me back, she said he was able to look at my pictures with her but he HAD to see me In person in order to give me any further information about my situation. (No mention of a consult fee).
Dr.Freeman (NC)- One of his nurses got back to me and said that I could call to make a consultation and that I could also send pictures over email. So I asked if I could strictly converse over email (not a good time for a phone call).. I have not heard back. Maybe I should have just sent the pictures... I guess I will later..
Dr.Miller (NY)- One of his staff got back to me but she said the best way for the Dr to evaluate me would be an In-Person consultation, she said she would answer any initial questions tho. I decided not to reply as I am Done with New York Surgeons...it's too competitive around that area and it's hard to tell what's real and what's just aggressive marketing
Dr.Shah (CO)- Staff got back to me but in order for him to assess me over email, I have to send really strictly set up pictures..like perfectly Positioned..in the best lighting... So I guess I will do that..but I was hoping I could just send them what I already had available on my phone (as I have been so depressed I haven't really been taking care of myself so I don't want to take any new photos at this exact moment)
There were many other doctors that were higher on my list (and just as, if not more, qualified) than the ones I actually decided to contact, even besides my top 3. But I either haven't gotten a chance to contact them or I have seen One or more bad reviews that freaked me out so much that I decided not to go for it.
Out of the ones i contacted, I think I would maybe still continue consider Boahene, Constantian, Lamperti, Naderi, and Naficy.
I really like Lamperti so if anyone has any substantial first person info on him, message me. I am also willing to exchange emails.
If anyone knows of any other doctor who you think would do an excellent job with my type of nose, please contact me.
Only genuine experiences are welcome, pictures would also be encouraged.
Thanks so much guys, My hope is that if I document my journey and end up getting a successful revision then In the end, my pain and suffering will not be in vain and eventually my story will help someone else like me in the future.
The Eye of the Beholder
Honestly, I feel like I am in the Twilight Zone right now. So I think this title is appropriate.
I remember this titular episode of the tv series where they take off the bandages and conclude that the surgery was "a fail". Nothing changed.
Well Sometimes I wish my doctors would have just bandaged me up with my old nose, kind of like a placebo. And so when I had removed the castings...nothing would've been changed.
And trust me, that would have been far from a "failed surgery".
It would have been a resounding success because it would be No Surgery At All. (Which is what I needed back then)
I also wish, like in the show, some representative of my kind (botched), would come whisk me away to a place where everyone is just like me.
Noses ruined by cosmetic surgery.
I would still loathe my appearance but at least I would not be alone.
I still must get this revision.
I just wish there was a safe place to go in the meantime.
A tangible place.
Somewhere that wasn't as destructive, deceitful, and alienating as the Internet.
Right now, my only escape is hope.
I hope that I can find the right revision surgeon.
I hope I can afford it.
I hope it is successful.
I hope it remains as such.
I hope I hope I hope.
I am still emailing surgeons. Most are saying similar things in regards to the pictures I sent them (numerous and significant issues). One bird is singing a slightly different tune however. Granted, I haven't seen any of these surgeons in person, so their opinion could completely change when/if I am finally sitting in front of them.
But it still caught me off guard that there is suddenly a difference in what I am being told. It worries me.
I can't travel the earth for second opinion after second opinion and I'm not a doctor so I don't know who is right and which method is best.
UGH. If anyone here is fluent in rhino terminology and trusts their eyes to tell me what they believe is wrong with my nose (in a constructive, educational manner) and what I may need to fix it (grafting, fasca, other techniques, etc) then please do so.
I need a collective pit of opinions and I think I should take into consideration, not just doctors opinions, but also those of veteran rhinoplasty patients who probably know a good lot more than nothing.
(Anyone can pm me as well, in regards to this post or ANYthing I have said previously. I will appreciate any genuine help. As I certainly NEED it.)
SO CONFUSED. (HELP) Conflicting Informatio.
I just received an email assessment from another doctor I contaced but his assessment is SO far off from what I thought and what other surgeons have told me so now I don't know what the hell to think. Here is the email he sent back to me after having received my pictures (same ones on my review/same ones I've sent to every other doctor)...
[beginning email]
-
I'll tell you what I can based on these photos. I think you are correct in your assessments of your nose. The question now is what to do about it. As I see your nose, the bridge of your nose probably was not over-resected. I think the main problem is how the two cartilages in the tip of your nose were handled during surgery. It looks to me as though the work on those tip cartilages left your tip asymmetric and also projecting too far forward away from your face, and also hanging down too much. The work on the tip cartilages also resulted in the elevation of your nostril margins from where they were before surgery.
Unfortunately it is almost never possible to get a nose completely back to where we want it. The task is to identify what improvements can be made and hopefully make enough improvement that you end up with a nose that you can appreciate, even if there are some features that you still don't like about it.
I made a couple modifications to show the kinds of changes that should be fairly predictable to accomplish is a revision. Usually, elevating the tip of the nose and bringing it back a little closer to the face are two changes that are very possible to accomplish, despite the fact that you have had previous surgery. Those are the changes that I made in the tow attached modifications.
I also made animations of those changes. You can see the animations by going to these links:
[private link]
[private link]
You certainly are correct that, from the frontal view, the tip of your nose droops down significantly, and modifying those tip cartilages should be able to help significantly with that.
A change that is more difficult to accomplish is lowering the nostril margins, where they seem to be hiked up after surgery. There are ways of using grafts on the inside of the nose to try to bring those down, but frankly those techniques don't work always work as well as we would like them to, but I am picturing an attempt at using grafts to lower those sidewalls and also possibly taking out a little bit of the skin of the nostrils, to just make them a little smaller, so even if they still sit too high after surgery, if they are smaller, they would be less noticeable.
It is also the case that, in a complicated situation like this, correction of some areas can make other areas look better even if those other areas aren't corrected very much, because even though you still have features to complain about, the overall appearance of the nose gets better, and that allows you to ignore it more and stop thinking about it as much.
Let me know what you think about all this so far, whether you think I am on the right track. The summary is that I think it is extremely likely that some substantial improvements can be made in your nose, but it is also extremely likely that I would not be able to correct everything that you notice and complain about, and you would have to be prepared to accept some of the limitations of the operation.
Is it possible that you could get me a copy of the operation report? Doctors pass operation reports back and forth all the time, and it should be a routine thing for you to call the doctor's office and arrange for the report to be faxed to me or scanned and emailed to me. It is not mandatory, but sometimes there are clues in the operation report that could be helpful.
I am looking forward to your comments.
[end email]
Okay so first of all, pm me if you want to see the morphs he did.
Secondly, do you think I should even bother with sending him my Primary OP report?? I don't even know how to reply to him at this point.
You tell me what you think.
But as far as me, I don't like what he's had to say. I don't want my nose shortened anymore or made smaller. And every other surgeon has agreed my bridge was over resected, which is the main reason for the nostril retraction. Yet he doesnt. I don't think my nose is projecting too far from my face either. I think the thinness of parts of it may cause it to appear that way on certain angles, but not in actuality. The only thing i agree with what he said is that my tip is asymmetric. Idk why he said I said my tip was droopy and agreed with it. There was only one photo that I ever even mentioned that and what I said was "in this picture it ALMOST appears droopy". ( It's just the shape of the tip that makes it appear that way.) Personally I think it is the opposite of droopy because why else would you be able to see into my nostrils from the front view. So idk why he said that. I don't think my top needs to be lifted anymore either. But now I am so confused.
And I don't like the morphs he did. (They are gifs so they are a moving picture, just so you know when looking at them). I think the 3/4 (mid way between profile and front) is kind of fake looking and just too short.
I like the technique that the other Dr., Dr.Lamperti, is good at which is rearranging the tip cartilages rather than removing them (LLC repositioning). My nose never got anything added to it in the first place. So it certainly doesn't need anymore taken off.
And I read a couple bad reviews on (this dr) that completely validate what I don't like about his aesthetic. Ofcourse there are plenty of good reviews as well..
(-_-)
And he wants to cut my nostrils too which I just find ridiculous. The other technique that Dr.Lamperti told me about solves both the abnormal tip look and the nostril retraction by rearranging the tip cartilages into the right alignment. Yet this Dr. Just wants to shorten my nose even more and cut my nostrils to make them smaller. That's a giant Red Flag and a huge NOPE as far as I'm concerned.
Any opinions are welcome. Please help!
Pm me for the morphs or name of the doctor who sent me this email.
Thanks guys!
I'm getting really discouraged right now..
This is just depressing
I keep getting asked by Doctors if I've had more than one rhinoplasty even AFTER I tell them I've only had one and even send them my OP reports. They seem like they think I may be withholding the truth.
It's just sad that, on top of everything else, my nose also looks like it's been worked on multiple times when it's only been touched once (in what was supposed to be a minor procedure). This is worrying me that surgeons keep asking this, it causes me to think I'm going to have EVEN MORE difficulty getting it fixed.
Also, I'm sorry if I haven't replied to some comments and pms in last 4 days. I am just really distraught and I don't have the words to to say right now, only tears.
Experiment - A real life Photoshop?
So it's 12:53 am, I've been crying and just bombarded with all the numerous things wrong with my nose. Like a domino effect that this surgeon created.
I realized that my nostrils were shaped strangely and I was very frustrated because i couldn't figure out why. Then I realized it must be the retraction that pulled them back and made them look odd from the front, almost notched at the top.
Then something possesed me to try something to see what would help the situation, so I stuffed little pieces of tissue up my nose around where my tip looks like it separates from the sides of my nose. Like you can see the lines, and it almost looks like parenthesis. ( )
Experiment - Real Life Photoshop? ( Full text from previous update)
[this is the full text of my previous update of the same name because it is showing up as cut off in the first version]^^
So it's 12:53 am, I've been crying and just bombarded with all the numerous things wrong with my nose. Like a domino effect that this surgeon created.
I realized that my nostrils were shaped strangely and I was very frustrated because i couldn't figure out why. Then I realized it must be the retraction that pulled them back and made them look odd from the front, almost notched at the top.
Then something possesed me to try something to see what would help the situation, so I stuffed little pieces of tissue up my nose around where my tip looks like it separates from the sides of my nose. Like you can see the lines, and it almost looks like parenthesis. ( )
REAL SELF GLITCH- Apologies
Please ignore my unfinished last two updates as they are now just a double post. I saw that the first one had 3/4 of what is written missing so I tried again but it failed. I also tried to type the whole thing in the comments of both posts but that also cut off most of what I had to say. So Idk what's going on here. I'm crying my eyes out trying to vent, technical issues is the last thing I need.
It's safest just to ignore my last two posts until I'm able to post the original in its entirety as planned.
What my Nose Used to Look Like
I'm going to post more photos of what my nose used to look like later today or tomorrow and what it looks like now via digital camera because most of my photos have been from iPhone and iPad and I think sometimes it makes a difference to see the nose on a different platform. Also maybe I will post what my nose looked like when it was all bruised still from primary 5 years ago. Looking at my before pics right now almost makes me feel more ill than looking at my after ones.
I can't believe I traded a wonderful nose for one that looks like it got sucked out by a vacuum. And it's not just my nose THats affected, it just makes my whole face look ugly. It scares me that people will just see me as weird looking when really it's Just my nose!! I noticed that some botched jobs you can see as a separate entity from the rest of the face but sometimes it just takes the whole face down with it! I guess it also depends on the lighting, etc...*sigh*. My mind has a very hard time accepting the after images as reality, I just can't believe it is This bad. Not that I really believe in karma or religion or anything but it makes me wonder..I must have been the devil himself in a past life to deserve this "transformation".
Maybe I've actually done myself a dis-service by being a good Human being all my life just to end up like THIS. I wish I would have been a B****. Maybe then I wouldn't be in this position. Maybe then I wouldn't have been such a trusting, naive girl who worried about non existant flaws and believed the doctor who said he could "fix them".
(Now those nonexistent flaws are REAL.)
I am afraid that I will not be able to make clear to a revisionist exactly what I want fixed. Why does it seem like there are so many things!
I've resorted to making diagrams of what went wrong with my Nose and making a binder of info about surgeons/techniques/terminology, etc. I have a bad feeling tho, that as soon as I get into a doctors office, I will feel pressured to abandon all my research and just listen to the brief things the dr has to say. I will probably fear that he will think I am going overboard with all my research and asking WAY too many questions. I'm starting to lose sight of what is or is not relevant in my case because so many little things overlap when it comes to the subject of rhinoplasty. And one little thing can create a domino effect for 10 more things.
Also, everything is both black and white.
It reminds me of the Diet Industry, one day something is A SUPERFOOD and the next day it is CANCER.
I went to a nutritionist when I was younger and she wrote a book called "What's Left to Eat?" because everything that we put in our mouths gets a bad rap eventually and there's nothing left with a pure reputation.
Well I'm sitting here, looking up all these techniques and grafts and what not, some people say that they are amazing, others say that they are HELL. So I'm just like "What's left to Fix My Nose??"
So Here Are More Before Pics (Digital Camera)
These were less than a year before my surgery.
(I will post more afters in the update directly below this one)
And here are More After Photos (Digital Camera)
Yea... 0_0
(Refer to my Before Pictures I just added in the update above this one)
I have to practically dissassociate and turn my emotions off in order to look at these afters and the slew of others like them on my camera.
Looks like someone took a vacuum and sucked in the sides of my nose and it just makes my whole face look bizarre and difficult to look at.
You might also be able to tell that the rest of me probably looks a little more a mess in the afters...well yea it's kinda hard to take care of yourself when you can barely bare to look in the mirror...
It was REALLY draining Linking my camera to my computer and looking at these pictures. For some reason they really freak me out a lot more than the ones that come out on my phone and iPad (unless flash is on ofcourse, then it all goes to Hell) . I mean, NONE of the after photos I take are even decent looking but These just take the cake.
You know it's bad when you feel the gut wrenching urge to apologize to the people who are about to look at your pictures.
No one should have to feel like that about themselves and have that feeling actually be warranted.
I mean Come On, That's just terrible.
This surgery was THE worst thing that could have possibly have happened to me.
I am so disgusted by this whole ordeal.
Talk about loss in the faith of humanity.
Who are we supposed to trust in this community so that things like this don't happen?
I feel like the answer may very well be, Noone.
I can only hope that the same answer does not apply to the question...
"Who can fix this?"
Does anyone else experience this?
The longer my nose stays in this "botched" state, the more it negatively affects how I see the rest of myself. For some reason, the nose really seems to have an effect on how the rest of the face looks, more so than anything else. The fact that it looks so strikingly strange and unfortunate causes other things to start to look that way. Things that, had my nose never been touched, would not have been noticeable or bothersome. Kind of like how if you wear a certain color it will give the illusion that your eyes are that color.
My nose being over resected from the sides is making my mouth/jaw area look bad as well as my inner cheeks look flat (negative space). I think it also has to do with how my breathing has gotten worse, I am forced to hang my jaw with my mouth open and always keep my lips parted in order to breath, even during the day. My jaw is starting to pop and feel like it is dislodging because I am not keeping it in alignment. If I try to lift my bottom jaw into place and close my lips like I should, then I get panicky because I am barely getting any oxygen!!
This is really awful because i had braces for 5 years and wear retainers and I feel like I am forced to revert to bad habits I had as a child because of this and may reverse some of the positive effects of my orthodontics.
I don't want this posture of my jaw to permanently affect my features.
See, "adenoid face". (I believe I had this mildly as a child, got my adenoids removed, got braces, everything cosmetically was good/remedied and my less than average breathing was at least liveable... until I got SeptoRhinoplasty and my breathing got 10x worse-which I didn't think was possible, and now this "look" is returning)
God.
Who Knew Bad Rhinoplasty could extend itself so far into the rest of our features/anatomy.
And also people talk about the sunken eyes things and fat loss under the eyes after rhinoplasty, well now I am paranoid that I have that too! This is stupid and ridiculous.
I'm going to develop complexes over things that do not require them, All because my Nose is such a huge issue.
Now I see why some people start to go crazy with plastic surgery. A person can't stay involved in this stuff for too long.
It should be a Get In and Get OUT kind of situation or Stay Away In the first place, otherwise you risk getting brainwashed by the industry and everyone else's concerns about themselves that may not even apply to you.
Granted, I Knowww my nose is pretty significantly impaired both cosmetically and functionally. And my jaw alignment may very well be getting affected because of the way I have to maneuver things In order to breath. I'm also aware that my nose looking the way it does now also effects the surrounding area negatively.
BUT I need to stay Put in my "Nose Box". I Can't let this madness spread into other parts of my face when I am certain that as long as my nose can be adequately fixed that I will be able to move on with my life.
Does any one else have trouble with this? Keeping your head clear of non-issues in order to stay focused on the real one at hand?
Especially on a site like this, I feel like many people will run into other adjacent procedures and aesthetic philosophies and may come across other people's reviews and start to believe that they have all those people's problems PLUS their own.
I just want to record my journey, end my journey, and start a new one outside of plastic surgery.
And I want the same for everyone else here.
There are a lot of legitimate concerns but then you get people who start getting recommended other procedures by surgeons that they CLEARLY do not need.
(Chin implants and primary nose jobs seem to be the two worst offenders)
You also get some patients goading others into doing the same thing.
I tried to fix something that wasn't broken.
Now it IS broken.
So I am forced to fix it.
But once that is done, then so am I , with all this PS business and perfectly lovely people being convinced they are otherwise.
It's disgusting.
If you got a bad result then you deserve to get it fixed.
But if you are reading this and you have a good result or a good natural nose, don't go any further into this place.
It's not healthy.
Don't press your luck.
PS is a gamble, ALWAYS.
Wow. Breathe Right strips won't even futon my Nose!
I just tried them and followed the directions, my nose is so pinched above the tip that the breath right strips will not pull that part of my nose outward at all! Especially on my right side. My left side has a lump on the tip so the outer edge of the breathe right strips kind of adheres to that and pull the skin by using that pin point. But the right side is pinched where the strips go AS WELL AS the tip being flat and sharp so it has absolutely nothing to adhere to.
Also when I put them on I got to get a nice feel of all my nonexistent cartilage on my bridge/side walls along with the bony edges... LUCKY ME.
Feels like I could twist and snap my bridge in half if I wanted to.
If I hold the strips in place tho, my nose actually looks less weird because it's covering the most "weird looking" issue which is the supra alar pinching.
My utmost tip asymmetry, nostrils and my top third bony edges are still noticeable tho...just makes me realize how many issues I have with new nose, even when one of the most disturbing ones is covered.
And since these DONT fit properly, I can't even enjoy a little relief from suffocating in this summer air.
I think my septum is pushed into my left side internally tho anyways so I probaly still wouldn't be able to breathe even if these strips could pulls my side walls open.
Terrible.
WOW. Breathe Right Strips Won't Even Fit On My Nose!!
I just tried them and followed the directions, my nose is so pinched above the tip that the breath right strips will not pull that part of my nose outward at all! Especially on my right side. My left side has a lump on the tip so the outer edge of the breathe right strips kind of adheres to that and pull the skin by using that pin point. But the right side is pinched where the strips go AS WELLAS the tip being flat and sharp so it has absolutely nothing to adhere to.
Also when I put them on I got to get a nice feel of all my nonexistent cartilage on my bridge/side walls along with the bony edges... LUCKY ME.
Feels like I could twist and snap my bridge in half if I wanted to.
If I hold the strips in place tho, my nose actually looks less weird because it's covering the most "weird looking" issue which is the supra alar pinching.
My utmost tip asymmetry, nostrils and my top third bony edges are still noticeable tho...just makes me realize how many issues I have with new nose, even when one of the most disturbing ones is covered.
And since these DONT fit properly, I can't even enjoy a little relief from suffocating in this summer air.
I think my septum is pushed into my left side internally tho anyways so I probaly still wouldn't be able to breathe even if these strips could pulls my side walls open.
Terrible.
A few [Front View] close up before and afters
Makes me sick.
(Make sure to refer to captions)
Sorry I am posting a lot but I'm just frustrated.
also apologies if I am neglecting anyone's comments or pms, I will get to them soon..you have all been so willing to help
A testament to how Lighting and Angle change EVERYTHING
This is what really frustrates me.
All these pictures are of my same nose . My current nose.
Yet all look so far from each other.
Granted, None of them show a good nose.
Some worse than others.
But in very DIFFERENT ways.
The defects almost show up as completely "other" deformities depending on the lighting. And sometimes my nose looks sharp and emaciated. Other times it looks full and sausage like. In some pics it looks upturned from the front and in others it looks droopy. Etc etc etc
So HOW on EARTH am i supposed to get across to a surgeon how my nose looks or how I want it to look if it can look like a completely different nose sometimes.
I can't go completely on the sense of feeling.
I wonder if once a doctor sees you
In person everything changes.
But still..even then..the morphs they do will be under a specific light. A light you will never be under again.
Is the 2d version so varied compared to the 3d?
I see a lot of other botch jobs that still look relatively the same in all lighting. So why is my nose doing this?
Is my combination of specific deformities causing this phenomenon?
My old nose did not suffer from this.
Perhaps the strange contours and pinching and asymmetry I have now cause shadow and light to reflect so terribly.
My old nose was smooth with continuous contours and no dips or ridges.
How a nose should be.
I just hope my pictures don't confuse my revision surgeon as much as they do me.
P.s. ( I also included a pic of me and didn't even bother to block anything out. It was of when I tried the breathe right strips. I pressed it so hard that it stuck long enough to take a picture but you can see [my right] side still came loose. I thought my nose actually looked decent enough now that the strip was blocking the supra tip pinching and the natural light was washing out anything else. Sure, you can still see my nostrils in an odd way but my nose looked a lot fuller and youthful and you could see the rest of my face normally...so even tho my eyebrows are falling out from stress and I was quite disheveled..I took a pic..and I smiled..and right afterward I cried my eyes out) If only I could manipulate the light around me and cover my nose's most prominent defect all the time ..Maybe I could smile all the time as well..
Ugh, this is really making me cry a lot again right now. Why did this have to happen. Tears are rolling down my cheeks like crazy at this very moment and I am typing it down because this is my "real self" right now and people need to be able to see my experience, even the parts of it caught up in small unfortunate moments like these.
Gosh, I just don't know if I am going to be able to cover every single base of this. There is so much that goes with a bad rhino and so much more to ensure a good revision.
I wish an Angel would help me.
In some form or another.
I don't even believe in that stuff but I feel like if my life were a movie I would be in need of a serious Deus Ex Machina right now.
MORPHS..Guys, your opinions and help are welcomed.
Do you think these would be okay to bring to a revisionist?
Just to start off.
(Refer to my other pics in older posts to see difference)
I WAS going to post a bunch of pics of all the things I DONT want my nose to look like and/or happen to my nose, in order for people to better assist me...but I think that the pictures I have may be against the guidelines because some are of real people who are not celebrity.
Which makes me want to ask-can we post pictures of celebrities of whoms noses we DONT like? For instance, the bad nose job ones?
Or is that not allowed.
Maybe that would be a form of bullying, idk.
I see comments being removed all the time on here for no reason at all so I don't want to risk anything with pictures.
So far I have only seen people post pictures of celebs and models who's features they DO like. I don't really want to do that as I doubt someone else's nose would look good on me. I just want to fix the one i have.
Do you think I should bring the pics that scare me silly as well? To let the surgeon know what I DONT want.
???
(Lol imagine if they took all the pictures and accidentally mixed them up on the day of surgery....0_0.)
As for the morphs..
they are pretty tame
I used pictures of my old nose (in order to acquire normal nostrils), my nose now, and my nose from when it was still early on in the healing stages (it looked better swollen than now) and messed with them a bit. It was hard to simulate alar batten grafts or even spreader grafts/fascia so I just smoothed the pictures that needed it. I am wondering if maybe I will only need fascia temporalis? (I forget what it's called) for the bridge/dorsum. And the rest will maybe be fixing the alar pinching/retraction, and the strange balled up shape of the tip. I hope my tip will only have to be re-arranged and flattened back into the rest of my nose rather than chopped off. I am DONE with resection! No more.
.... My bridge may not look it from some pictures, but it feels like a rectangular block. Not cylinder or smooth. It has two sharp pebble edges on the upper third and a small diagonal raise of hard tissue between them. My bridge alone dips in at places. I think fascia type thing would be good for the bridge and sides.. Maybe Turkish delight? But I would be really worried it would dissapear soon after revision. Or move around like a blanket shifting.
Let's be honest tho, I'm going to be worried about anything that's used.
I wish some things were less risk than others tho.
But they all seem to have equal risk and equal reward in one way or another.
Unless you try fillers or non-autologous implants -that's just asking for hell. (Warning to anyone reading this-implants will ALWAYS have to end up being taken out..goretex,silicon, alloderm...and fillers stuff, stay away from it ALL.)
My nose is VERY difficult to manipulate through pictures without it ending up looking even weirder than it does now.
When you are a person who has to probably get LLCR and fascia and just stuff that actually changes the shape of the internal structure, that's almost impossible to simulate -especially from the front.
I think my current immediate profile is decent but looks flat on the side so sometimes it comes off as 2D. Especially the right side because the tip on that side is also flat and sharp.
It seems like primarys and humps are way easier to morph out.
Note: Thank you Lerickson for getting me started on the morphing. :) lol you tried. I even tried to change that exact picture (the squidward one) you used for front view and no matter what I did to it, It ended up looking weird as heck.
Another morph...courtesy of a friend.
These were made by a fellow real selfer, not me.
I, personally, find the front view "scary". Granted, the pic I gave her already looked like a squidward nose because of the lighting.
What do you guys think?
About these two morphs and mine in the previous post?
Be honest.
(Noones feelings are gunna get hurt, both parties are already aware these are being posted)
I would be VERY surprised if anyone actually thought this nose (front view) would look good on me...but by all means...0_o
Just keeping Up
Still the same old same old.
Which is just horrible.
Here's some more before and afters.
They look like they should be reversed.
*sigh*
A few more Afters (very distorted look even from far away)
Hey guys, just adding to my last post.
A few more afters only.
My result is the type that, as a patient, it is hard to pin point one single issue with so many different things going on. And then add that to the fact that most of those things aren't even happening on both sides of the nose...gives me a mental headache.
I've also noticed that very slight asymmetries I had naturally with my face are also accentuated now. Like the fact that my jaw line is different in the right side than the left and that my right upper lip opens even when at rest while the left side stays put.
I think the fact that my nose looks even more deviated (in the opposite direction of my mouth) highlights this unfortunately.
Theres also overall less tissue now on the right side of my nose.
In all my pre-op pictures, these things about my natural born face were practically invisible, even to my own eyes. And usually not present at all except for the occasional pic.
Now they are much more pronounced. I'm hoping it is just an optical illusion caused by the state of my nose. I really hope nothing physical actually happened to the rest of my face as a result of this surgery. But I wouldn't be surprised after all I have seen here.
...Just saw a review the other day where a woman's entire face looked different, as her nose was pressing down on the entire lower half.
Crazy stuff.
Open Roof Deformity?- Just another worry to add to the list...
I have complained in past posts that my top/front facing part of my bridge feels and sometimes looks like an uneven Flat side of a rectangle now. With bone like edges drifting at the sides.
For some reason, I must have misinformed myself about what an open roof truly was.
I thought it was when your whole bridge is flat against your face but I've just done some more research and it seems that's not quite the case.
I also thought that the bone like edges had to be exactly parallel to one another (which mine are not) but it also seems that that was incorrect on my part as well.
What I thought was just a case of severely uneven rasping may be something worse and much more complex than simply 'rasping the bumps further down' or 'filling out the area surrounding them'.
My past explanations of this part of my bridge line up exactly with the definition of an open roof deformity.
My doctor only performed lateral osteotomies. Now I am wondering if he should have performed medial ones as well.
But my bridge is already so narrow....
I don't know how this one issue will be resolved.
I was just starting to come to terms with everything else.
Now I've got a name for an issue that I didn't think was going to be a big deal to fix.
I've already got plenty of significant issues with my middle and lower third.
I really don't need this.
But now I've got one more "major" thing to worry about. It seems my nose was screwed up from head-to-toe.
Nothing was left unscathed.
I am extremely upset and hurt.
It's as if Nature gave me the perfect sand castle.
Then some kid said he could make it better.
I thought perhaps he would just adorn it with a flag or a seashell.
But no.
He smashed it.
He smashed it to the ground.
And I can hardly remember what it looked like.
What it felt like.
It will take me so long to understand how to rebuild what nature gave me.
Or anything even close.
I don't know which parts are good and which need to be rebuilt again.
It all looks the same to me.
Everything is just covered with fallen sand.
And even when I finally figure everything out..
Even when I finally come to envision the castle Rebuilt..
How do I know who to ask to help me build it?
Anyone I see will only look at me for a mere moment.
But I've been sitting in front of this mound of "dirt" for over 5 years.
**-
I also want to address the occasionally comments that say my nose looks "great"...usually in the context that they have not actually read any of my review or seen more than a couple of my pictures.
(Even the worst noses can look decent in certain lighting and at certain angles).
If you are going to post anything like that, please do so without ignorance.
Or facetious intentions.
I know I am not immune to "lenient" or causal commenters.
But it doesn't hurt any less when I get people who trivialize my issues to the point of being BLIND.
It does not make me feel better when you try to tell me my nose is anything but awful.
I know that "common social law" tells you otherwise. But we are on a plastic surgery site. I posted my pics to help others and also to gain honest feedback.
So You CAN be HONEST.
It will not hurt my feelings.
Trust me, I've known my nose was bad for awhile now.
Long before I knew what to call my issues and long before I did my research and contacted surgeons qualified to validate them.
It's gotten to the point where comments like
"Your nose was perfect and now you look like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons" -
feels better than -
"Beautiful Girl, your nose is nice, I actually like it. You should be happy with it. Seriously, it's great! :)))"
(^^Both of which I have actually received btw. Word for word.)
And this problem is not unique to me.
I have seen other people's noses (worse than mine) which look like a ball of mauled mush, get the comment -
"LOOKS PERFEct, wow , great result! You look beautiful."
I mean, come on.
That's ridiculous.
I know we can all be a little more harsh on ourselves than others and I may have digressed into worries about other parts of my face (because the stress of the nose issue).
BUT please, for the love of God, LOOK at my pictures.
Things are not good.
They are nowhere close to good.
Never mind perfect.
Never mind great.
And Make sure you are reading to see if they are before and after.
And make sure, IF you are going to post a long comment about how "wonderful" my nose is, you have at least read a couple of my posts and taken the time to do more than glance at one or two pics.
Because I assure you, if you are a sane person who has a good grasp on the aesthetic definition of "good" and "bad". (And you should if you are here.)
And so long as you don't have an astigmatism (no offense to people who do) THEN you would never be writing things like
"Ooo perfect nose, nothing wrong here".
Unless you were a liar.
Personally,
I make sure I never do this, I don't care if every single one of someone's comments are shallow and dishonest. Even if they all sound so sweet..or saccharine.
I will tell you the truth.
Even if someone's nose or other feature really does look perfect to me, I will still take the time to look through every last picture and read every last concern before I decide to make a comment that the poster WILL be affected by.
Good decisions are made on the preface of honest evaluations.
Not dishonest ones.
Not even if they are "kind".
So I will give people here my shrewd honesty.
And I expect the same.
Especially when it comes to my nose.
And others noses who are also "objectively" poor results.
I mean no ill will to anyone.
Most of you have been both sweet and genuine and very helpful.
And this is not directed at people who are complimentary yet also understand and see my OBVIOUS issues and concerns.
This is directed at the minority, many of whom's comments seem like they don't even belong on my profile.
Ones which often seem to be describing a different nose entirely and use terms that even scientifically, would never be used to describe my anatomy.
And also to the ones who seem like they are trying way too hard to make me feel better.
But I'm telling you right now.
Even if you mean well...
Ignorance is not bliss in this situation.
And I'm not a naive child who will cling to a single kind remark all their life in order to survive.
I have tried that before and it doesn't work.
It just makes me ill.
There is an old proverb.
"What the Eye doesn't see, the Heart doesn't grieve over"
But my eyes see.
Every day.
And my heart grieves.
Every moment.
Unless you have a bad result of your own, Most of you who comment can simply turn away from your computer screen. So you do not have to see, to grieve over what some of us do every second of our lives.
Bad plastic surgery is not a bad thought to put in our back pockets for another day.
It is always there. In the forefront.
Literally.
And the type of comments that I am expressing my concerns over..are precisely the type of comments that provide irresponsible and immoral plastic surgeons with the basis for Plausible Deniability.
And that is wrong.
And that is part of the problem this community and industry suffer from the most.
Please do not contribute to it any longer.
If your comment is still baffling to me so be it, but at least understand the context of which you speak of...before you speak of it.
Please.
And thank you.
Inability to Edit our Own Words..??
I'm not entirely sure if this is still accurate... But are we still really unable to edit our own posts?
Also, In reading some comments to my review, I see that a lot of people are commenting on my first two posts as if they are the most recent/only posts.
Because the earliest ones are the ones that show up first and most people don't scroll down all the way, especially for long reviews like my own.
So In seeing how this can be misleading, I have had to read over my first few posts to understand the context in which some people were commenting to me.
And Well, it looks like I was pretty emotional and "honest" during my first few posts.
And now I'm not so sure that's a good thing, as things that may have been "true" to me then, may not be any longer...Now that I have done some research and calmed down a bit.
Don't get me wrong.
I still feel the same about my nose, maybe even worse, knowing now what REALLY goes into this revision and the journey.
But the WAY I spoke was a bit too raw and more like a diary entry than a review.
To be honest, when I first came on this site, I thought I had found an outlet and I was under the impression that only other patients would be reading my words.
I wanted to help them.
And I wanted them to help me.
I was also unaware that I would never be able to edit my posts.
That is actually quite disturbing.
In almost every other form of social media, we are able to "take things back" and accidents and mistakes can be wiped away with a "delete" button. I am not personally associated or fond of social media but I think most people who are, have posted a cringey photo or statement only to look at it later and say to themselves "Did I really post that?"
And since RealSelf is not strictly a cut and dry anonymous review site, I think the same rules should apply that apply to all other forms of social media.
We should have DIRECT ownership of our own words and photos.
We should have the right to edit as we so desire.
If reviews are being removed for no other reason than the site being "paid off" to do so.
Then things are already NOT operating on strict nor solid ground.
And the same freedoms that this site seems to sometimes use with out intellectual property and stories, SHOULD, at the very least, also be given to the posters themselves.
I would absolutely not want to remove my whole review but certain things I would like to change the wording of, and considering what I've been through, I should be able to.
And so should others.
Our posts should not be as permanent as our bad results if we don't want them to be.
I feel like this site is holding many people hostage.
People say things in a much different manner when they are in their most extreme period of pain and hurt. And we are often confused and say things that may not make sense or may even be worrisome because we ourselves, can't make sense of the situation just yet.
And we, understandably so, ARE worried.
I don't think most people know what this site really IS before they decide to spill their whole life's woes on here.
Myself included.
If every person were to share their life stories with the world, with the same emotion that is felt behind closed doors, then we would probably ALL think each other mad.
And we don't need surgeons who could possibly save us from our situation..reading things that would normally have never made it outside our bedroom walls.
SANE people say 'crazy' things in 'crazy' ways when they are thrown into 'crazy' situations.
That's a normal thing.
And plastic surgery, especially with poor results, is the 'abnormal' thing.
But I could see how, being a stranger, seeing these things written out, may cause them to shy away from the person writing them.
Even if the poster has valid concerns.
And even if the one reading these posts, has the skill and the experience to help the poster physically. (And thus, quite significantly, emotionally as well.)
I would imagine the reason for this would be because:
There ARE actual nutters out there and I bet everyone, patients and doctors alike, have encountered at least one.
But there will be times in our lives where we will all sound nuts.
I'm sure if patients heard the things that their doctors said or did in their own home, they may be terrified of that Doctor.
Even IF, when it all comes down to it, he/she wields the hand of God in the operating room.
But doctors aren't likely to go spilling their guts online.
So we will most likely never see the side of them that they can see of us... Here on RealSelf.
I believe there are good things about this site and I will not leave. But not being able to edit our own posts is something that should be changed.
As soon as possible.
Personally, I think there are upsides to revealing everything in a moment to others.
But perhaps we should at least be able to pick and choose WHO we share it all with.
There should be private settings or something.
Some stuff should be shared with everyone and some should not, and we, as the users, should be able to control what is our own.
As for me, I think most of my stuff is okay to stay, even my photos, right now I am okay with keeping them up.
But what if I change my mind in the future?
What kind of Hell will I have to go through to remove what I end up wanting to remove?
And how will I do it without compromising all the stuff I would like to stay in order to help others?
Not knowing this does not make me feel safe.
I would like to feel safe as a user of this site.
And I would like most of what I put on here to end up helping me rather than hurting me.
I think many others feel the same.
I hope heavy improvements are made to this site in the very near future.
Sayonara Sweet Sweet Swelling :_(
IMPORTANT:
Some of these pics (aka pre-op and swelling) are from over 5 years ago. Refer to the rest of my review for the accurate timeline and current photos/issues.
I am only digging up and posting these photos to show people how much swelling goes down over such a long period of time.
And how for some of us...that is a very Unfortunate occurrence.
So for those of you worrying about how "huge" your nose is early post -op.
Trust me, it gets smaller.
And I say smaller and not better because...well...see for yourself.
My swelling disappearing only unearthed the Ruin beneath.
Swelling is a double edged sword.
And since we all swell, we never really know which side we get in the end.
Until much much later.
Here's hoping you aren't on the side I was.
Note: And if this is the first post of mine you are reading...yes..I am already aware that my pre-op nose did not need to be touched.
Unfortunately I was young and trusted the wrong person to make a "small" change.
Quick Note to Community (mainly just those who are following my posts)
Hey guys,
I just want to let anyone know, who has contacted me recently, or in the past, that I will get to your messages eventually but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed right now.
A lot has piled up and I keep putting off responding, and I apologize because so many of you have been very helpful and understanding.
I know there's more than 15 people awaiting my pms alone and that's the only reason I am typing this up as an update.
I just don't have the mind power to let each of you know individually.
(Since I usually write such LONG messages as I like to cover everything we speak about thoroughly)
But don't worry.
And don't think I am ignoring you.
Chances are I have read your messages/emails or replies to comments (even if they were months ago!), but have simply been trying to sort some other things out, off this site.
I will get to them all as soon as I can though.
I apologize.
If it's anything urgent, then please just state the urgency in the title of your message to me and I will try to get to it before all the others that I have neglected.
I also have been commenting here and there so I may seem very active on this site when really, I have not been as much.
Even tho my last update was such a short time ago, the messages I have let build up have finally compiled to something I can't touch at the moment.
So please bear with me.
Thank you so much~
..Hopefully this isn't an annoyance to anyone who this does not apply to.
I am sorry it's not a "real" update.
But I hope to have one as soon as I begin to take some more steps forward.
