Happier Without the Implant

So I had my one week post-op today. I wanted the doctor to see that I appreciated looking better without the implant, so I wore makeup. I know this doesn't make sense to a guy, but women will understand. I went in to the office with the doctor and his nurse and we were all agreeing how beautiful I looked. I apologized if I had been rude in any of my panicking calls to them. And the nurse said don't worry we've had worse failures than yours. The doctor quickly responded that they didn't have any failures. I didn't say anything. I didn't think I needed to, since we all know what has happen in the last seven weeks.

I told my doctor that I loved the chin and look I have now. And of course I asked him how long it would last. The doctor said that scar tissue will form and my chin will be somewhat fuller, but more swelling will be going down.

I asked him about fillers in the future. He said that now is not the time to talk about it.
I apologize again about my craziness. I told the doctor that the implant overtook me like an alien possession. He said that I should see my doctor and get my electrolites
checked.

So tomorrow morning I am going to see my doctor. Have my blood drawn. And check everything. Then I am driving four hours to my daughter's house so I can see my grandchildren. I haven't seen them in two months because I felt I looked like a monster.

On the phone with my husband I was recounting my doctor's visit. I said to him, that the truth is that nobody liked my new look. My husband said, oh no not him. He liked me before and after. To which I reminded him that he told me I looked older with the implant.

I have had a lot of plastic surgeries. As I aged, I have changed anything that was troublesome to me on my face or body. But, I have to admit, the chin implant did me in.

To anyone who has had an implant and it improved your lives, I'm truly jealous.
I don't understand anyone who would have a cosmetic procedure far from where they live. It doesn't make sense to not have the aftercare.

I can never say that I won't have another cosmetic procedure. But, when my profile starts bothering me again and I start to think about chin augmentation, I'm going back to this site so I can remember this journey.

It's funny how fast a person can forget pain, I 'm glad I recorded everything because I could never remember how miserable I was. I could never believe that I spent the summer obsessing over what happened to my chin. I would literally stand in front of my mirror reciting the alphabet constantly to see if my diction was any better. I would painfully try to get my lips to say the word "pucker" then lay in bed wondering how I could ever work with children again looking like a monster.

So now it is six days since I had the implant taken out. My face distortions are still there. I hope in time it will improve, but it doesn't bother me as much as it did with the exaggerated chin.

My chin has shrunk down to the exact size and shape I would have loved for the surgeon to have done. It's the face I remember, not some kind of distorted image of what my doctor created. I look at my face now and yes its the chin and smile that compares to pictures ten and twenty years ago. I look like an improved me and I love it.

The problem is I don't know how long improvement will stay. My chin is larger and I have definition. No drama or elongated look, No sagging skin. No pain. No obsessing in front of a mirror. Just me living life and feeling a little bit better about myself.

Tomorrow I have my one week visit with my doctor. I want to cry. I can't believe the
chin surgery went so bad and I still feel I have to take the blame. Instead of the sweet welcoming man I saw before surgery, I'm afraid I will see a man who is dismissive and abandoning me as a patient. I have known this plastic surgeon for almost 30 years. He was so angry at me for taking out the implant. I can barely remember all of the words he said to me, but I do vaguely remember him saying not to do anything for six months until the swelling went down and then I could use fillers, but he didn't do fillers. His waiting room is filled with different pamphlets and posters about available fillers. Whose services are they?

Well I've worn out my husband. He doesn't want to hear about this implant anymore. So this is the only place I can place my thoughts. Today is day 5, my profile if receding somewhat. Actually, if it stayed like this on the side, I would be happy. My face is getting a softer look, but the skin is not sagging. Tomorrow I will be seeing a friend for the first time since the implant removal. I feel I look and sound normal enough to socialize. The distortions on my face are still there, but things are not getting worse. I made a list of the things that I wish I knew before the implant. They are not in any order of importance and may not pertain to everyone. These are just my thoughts.
Unfortunately, a chin implant is not like a breast enlargement. When a woman gets breast enlargement she is able to wear a large bra filled with rice to get an idea about the different way an enlargement might feel. Its too bad you can't go around with an artificial chin before an implant so you can see if you like the change.
Here goes: THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE MY IMPLANT
1.Doctors don't understand the psychological connection people have with their chins. I love touching my chin and feeling my hand on my chin. (Only a person with a chin implant can understand what I'm saying.)

2.Make sure you have nothing to do for 3 - 6 months. If you have a job that and you are out in the public expect that you will be going back to work before you are ready.

3. The chin implant pulled my face down and made my eyes look like blank round holes in a bowling ball. I wore my glasses all of the time so people wouldn't notice.

4. Take pictures of yourself before the procedure. Take close up pictures of your face so you know if your features change. Its hard for me to determine how, and if in any way my face has changed because my only before pictures have me smiling and looking good.

5. If your face is asymmetrical, the chin implant will exaggerate it, not mask it.

6. If things go wrong, doctors are not forthcoming with information. They will never admit that something went wrong. I felt like a naughty child that failed a test.

7. Explant is a real word. Ask your doctor what happens if you don't like it. Especially if you went in for a different procedure and the doctor is encouraging you to get the chin done as long as you are there. My doctor was really pissed at me for taking out the implant, however he did pick up the entire cost. I've read about people who suffered for years until they saved up money for explant surgery.

8. The only way to know for certain if there is nerve damage is to remove the implant.---I hate uncertainty.