Wednesday, Jan 21:
Yesterday I had surgery -...
Wednesday, Jan 21:
Yesterday I had surgery - liposuction of my abdomen and flanks to be precise.
Power Assisted. Was supposed to be ultrasonic but the machine became unavailable just before my surgery. I like to think maybe it was a fate-type thing for me to not have that type and rather have the more... abrasive form.
I was placed under general anesthetic which is always terrifying. I have little to no surgical history, being a 20-something year old relatively healthy vegetarian so it was all a bit of an embarrassing experience standing naked in front of two nurses but you know... I accepted the whole process before I paid for it all!
After the surgery I was in a lot of pain and was quite groggy until a couple hours post-op. I was given a prescription for Atasol-30s to take if things because intolerable. Today I am in a lot of pain. I wasn't able to sleep much for the pain last night so i started taking the pain killers, which do take the edge off.
Though I understand few people will agree with my decision, I maintain that it was the best course of action for myself. I was a fitness instructor in my early 20s and after several sports injuries as well as a motor vehicle accident I have been limited in exercises that I enjoy that I am still able to do without painful consequence.
Friday Jan 23
I have been told I can't really exercise for 3 weeks and additionally will be wearing this big corset type thing for that length of time. I have a medical background so taking care of myself hasn't been so hard just yet.
I do get pretty weak when the garmet is off as its a great support so other than to clean the scars I keep it on at all times.
I hope to start at home exercising once I am allowed so long as it is something that I can put into my life that doesn't make me feel stupid or ridiculous and is something I can remain consistent at. I really like hot yoga but it will be at least a month until I can do that again.
As for updates, a 4 x 4 inch patch of my right upper thigh/inguinal region is numb to touch from the surgery. I hear the sensation will likely come back.
I still get pain but itching is my main bother. The bruises are pretty itchy but with each day things get a bit better.
I'll keep updating as time goes on. Hopefully this will help someone
1 Week Post-Op
There is still a lot of swelling - enough such that I can see very very very little difference from before the surgery. My "pouch" at the bottom (some of which is due to weak abdominal muscles I will admit) is still quite prominent and from side from both side and front on.
The pain isn't as horrible. I went back to work yesterday and got through the whole day with only one prescription analgesic when I first woke up and 1 extra strength advil during work (though I still took a prescription pill before bed because I didn't want to wake up in pain).
Bending still is a real issue, especially side bending. I get sharp pinches where the incision areas are.
I still have numbness in my right inguinal region
and my privates are swollen and black. Apparently this is a normal side effect of any abdominal surgery.
My doctor told me that "at 2 weeks you're going to regret the surgery because you will feel like nothing changed" and "at one month you'll feel like it was a waste of time" but at 6 months you will be glad you did it.
So I guess I'm more or less on schedule. I don't regret the surgery because I need to believe it will get better looking than it does now (and according to experiences I've read online that is usually the case).
I'm taking as much incentive as possible right now - drinking green tea every day,more or less quit smoking, and am spending a lot of time on pinterest researching at-home workouts I may be able to try next week if they aren't too strenuous.
I hope next week I have more happy news to report for anyone who finds this lipo journal helpful!
Today I bought a 30 day hot yoga membership to start in 3 weeks.
Hi guys, sorry no picture update atm.
I'm having a really rough time with what I can only assume is swelling.
I look massive and it's really affecting me psychologically I think.
I can't notice a single thing different from before and after and when I try to remember what the doctor told me post op "look at this cannister - that's 1100 ml we took out. So when you feel like nothing has changed remember that we took that much and you will see a difference eventually"...
but the more I look at other people (I know - the fastest way to make yourself miserable is to compare yourself to others) and the more I see that they've had litres and litres removed the less certain I am that this will make any difference.
I know that with my PAL, they say they injected very minimal additional fluid and therefore what they removed is definitely fat and not just surgical liquids... and that's sometimes the reason why some people have so many liters removed... but none of these thoughts really help.
I guess I'm just kind of destroying myself a bit mentally. I've heard that it's pretty common to get down in the dumps around this time post-op... but why don't I look any better? Will I ever? Was this all for nothing? Should I email the doctor?
I guess a lot of my issue is that my doctor is in a whole other province so it's not like I can go talk to him in person and hope that he prescribes me a fluid pill or something....
Do you think I should email ?
Why have they not contacted me at all since 1 day post op?
Will I have to get another surgery? Should I even entertain that thought? Did I have unrealistic expectations prior to the surgery because I didn't think I did.
I don't know... I just wish I had more support and/or a crystal ball to see 6 months into the future so I could know if this was worth it.
Sorry for the depressing post. When we get to the 2 week point I hope I'll have better things to say. :(
So I guess the swelling might be going down a little bit. I don't feel as miserable overall... especially since I finished the painkillers, but I'm still very downtrodden. I try to stay positive but it's so hard when I feel like I saw this procedure almost as a holy grail last-resort, but because I put so much faith in it I'm so fragile and afraid that if it doesn't make me feel better about my appearance I'll forever be trapped with this horrible mentality that I'm fat and ugly.
To cheer myself up I bought a 1 month membership to a hot yoga place (starting in a few weeks because I'm not ready for the heat and the movement), and today I bought an exercise ball so that after tuesday (the 2 week point) I'll have it to help me with abdominal work.
I just really hope this works and that maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me.
I'm so afraid that in the interim I'm putting on weight and getting fatter and fatter. I'm hungry a lot but at the same time every time I eat I feel horribly guilty as though I'm sabotaging myself.
I've cleaned up my eating choices a fair bit since pre-surgery but there is still a lot of room for improvement.
I guess one day at a time. One day at a time...
Two Weeks Post-Op
So as promised, here are the comparison photos from Pre-Op vs. 2 weeks Post Op.
On the sides I think I can definitely see a difference in the abdomen for sure but on the front I don't see much difference .... I see a bit yes but I can still see the "pouch" below my belly button and everytime I see that I think of the dr when he said "Did you have any kids?" and i said no... and he told me I have the body of a post-pregnancy woman with very lax abdominal muscles.
Which is honest of him and I appreciate that, but after 4 years since a dr said that to me I can still hear it every time I look in the mirror.
This morning I also noticed a painful lump (about 1 square centimetre) up on my Right rib cage which I can only assume is some kind of sequelae from all the bruising I had up there in the beginning. I tried to "massage" it when i found it but it was a bit too painful for me to commit any real effort to. Maybe it'll go away on its own?
Anyway, today I'll 'celebrate' my 2 week anniversary from my surgery with blowing up my exercise ball and trying to do some abdominal exercises (maybe a couple of planks) just to see how it feels.
And I'll also try to be positive. It can only get better from here right? ... I really wish I knew that to be true.
3 week post update
I can't write you a long update right this second.
It's been a bad week for a multitude of reasons.
With regard to the surgery, I got the lump checked out - its a hematoma and may be permanent.
Otherwise they say I'm healing well.
I still have little to no sensation on the patch of my upper right leg. There's been no change.
I still see no difference in how I look. I can't help but blame myself. Maybe if I just... I don't know... if I was just better in general things wouldn't feel so pointless.
Today was my first day going without the garment.
As soon as I got off wokr I put it back on - I was in so much pain. Everything hurt. I had to take a tylenol-3 to get through it because advil wouldn't touch it.
Maybe my next update will be better. Until then I'm miserable for so many reasons I wouldn't even want to bother you with them.
1 month post op
Today, as promised, I will try to be more positive than at my 3 week point.
I feel a little better overall energy wise. I went back to wearing my binder for about half of the day every day. Last night was my first overnight not wearing it in combination with working out a pretty intense workout (any workout with burpees is intense in my books lol) so today I am understandably more sore than usual, and also it seems more puffy.
I'm not sure if its because some swelling is going down, but I feel as though I look more lumpy today than in my last pictures. I did go see a doctor afterword abotu the hard lump up by my rib cage which showed up in the area that I had the most bruising. The dr said it was normal and MAY go away in 3-4 months... but she has also seen instances where those lumps are something you're just stuck with. I don't mind if it sticks around as long as it means the parts of me that I still see as disgustingly fat will get better.
As I mentioned above, I started working out this week. I have done 2 ab workouts and 2 T25 workouts. T25 is like... the unfit/rushed person's Insanity lol. It's only 25 minutes long so its possible for me to fit into my life (just for instance.. I worked 8am until midnight yesterday with one 4 hr break in between... so during that break I did my workout and studied for my two exams I have this week..... gotta love the life of a medical student).
Though my significant other and I ended and I did go through a few days of lying on the couch feeling worthless, I also decided to try to stop doing that, quit drinking basically 100% because it's clearly not helping my moods, and start revamping my diet as someone on here mentioned. So... chick peas, protein and peanut butter instead of chips, nutella and wine.
Anyway I'm not sure if things are looking better. Someone said on here that I should start to see real impacts around 6 weeks. I hope everyone is doing well... and I really hope someone sees a difference in me because I still don't.
31 Days Post Op
Just wanted to post a couple of pics this morning after wearing my garment over night again to prove to myself that I'm not EXACTLY the same as I was pre-op.
Just general update: things are still tender to the touch everywhere so I guess that means swelling is still around! I wouldn't be able to handle a relaxation massage at this point, for instance. I've been off exercising again for the last few days just because I've been working those 16hr shifts again and I have exams but I'm excited to get back to hot yoga this weekend - it's been a month so I think I should be ok for an hr long hot yoga (I'm sure I'll swell up like a balloon but at least I'll get some mental health care out of it!
5 weeks post op
pics are from pre op vs today (5 weeks post op)
I was pretty swollen last night because I went to hot yoga for the first time since the surgery and everything seemed to swell and get more painful so I slept with my garment on.
I'm trying to change things now so that I can not be so afraid that it's my fault diet/exercise why there is so little change. That lower abdominal pouch is still there.... I really hope it goes away soon.
I try to work out 4-5 times a week and pretty much every time I work out I try to do a bit of ab work to help the laxity of my muscles. I guess I just have to keep at it.
I think there still is quite a bit of swelling to be honest. When I rub my surgical site I can still feel lumps under a lot of soft/puffy feeling areas that I've yet to be able to see.
Gotta keep waiting as patiently as possible I guess!
6 weeks (+ 2 days) Post Op
Sorry for the delay in posting; tuesday is my usual write-up day, but I woke up that morning with such a bad stomach bug I've been in bed more or less for the last three days. Anyway I took a series of pictures this morning but as you'll see from the pictures I'm either very bloated for some reason, or I'm not changing anymore which is quite sad as I still don't see much of a difference when I'm not clenching my abdominal muscles.
It's not that I regret the decision to get lipo at this point, I just feel cheated because I was sure that I had realistic expectations going on but maybe the doctor was too rushed or the machine they decided on the spur of the moment was not as good for results as the UAL originally planned or something.
As for the rest of me, I still have that hard lump up on my rib area and it's starting to seem like slightly softer lump in the mid abdominal area. We don't have lymphatic drainage masseuses here so I've been trying to rub them out myself but to no avail.
Other than this week of gastroenterovirus, I've been doing a bit of T25 and P90X3 as well as hot yoga and watching my food much more than pre-surgery to keep any potential fat from coming back but overall, no I'm still pretty dissatisfied with the progress I've made so far. No clothes fits differently and I don't feel I look any differently overall. Right now I kind of just feel like I'm out 6000 dollars with little to show for it other than a couple of scars :(
At least I'm able to work out (on whatever days I'm not on call which feels like is always lately!) !
8 weeks photo
18 Mar 2015
2 months post
I'm not sure if its just me being pudgy or if I'm swollen a lot...
I seem to be swollen often because of the workouts. Trying to work out 4-5 times a week.
I'll try to keep up the photos but not sure how much I'll be writing just because I haven't got much to say at this point.
8 Week Review and Update PIctures
24 Mar 2015
2 months post
So today marks the eight week point since my surgery! I can't believe how much life changes in two months when you make it change for you.
I'm starting to really see differences and more importantly, actually like the way I look. I feel more confident in my appearance in clothes (I'm still working on feeling better naked, but I can look in the mirror without wanting to cry now). I'm sure most of the appearance change is due to the surgery, but I've been keeping at the T25 challenge religiously, and have been changing my diet SO much. I have about one glass of wine a week now and no other forms of alcohol, I have deep fried food once to twice per week max, and I do my damndest to avoid chips because I know with me if I start eating them I'll just spiral back to sitting on the couch on my ass doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself.
I have my pedometer for when I go to work and I consistently get to the 10K step point walking around work which is great too.
I still get random pain and tenderness in my abdomen and especially my back parts of the flanks but that just makes me change positioning with however I'm sitting - not a big deal at this point and definitely not bad enough to need any kind of pain control.
I have more energy and I'm so much less depressed.
Sure there are still some lumps and bumps, but i'm almost convinced they may be abs.
There is still a bit of a pouch at the bottom of my belly, but that just means I have more work to do with respect to exercise and patience until the full effect of the surgery comes in another 3-4 months.
Overall, yes this surgery has definitely been worth it but it was in no way a 'quick fix'. Rather, it's been more an incentive to get off my a** and actually WORK for myself to change the things that I don't like about me. Whenever I go to eat something horrible I think "did you go through flying to another province, a painful surgery, and now exercising 5-6 days a week just to lose it all because it's easier to do nothing and binge eat?"
I hope I can keep this up and that the next update I have for you is even better.
7 Months Post-Op :(
Today I finally accepted defeat and emailed my doctor to ask for a revision.
As you can see from the pictures today other than the flanks pretty much nothing has changed. I'm heartbroken and so disappointed in myself. I feel like this has to have been my fault but I mean... I don't think I put on weight and even if I did I don't think it would be in the area that I had the fat removed (stomach + flank).
I just really need this fixed because right now I can't even wear a bathing suit again. I'm back to wearing my dad's baggy tshirts :(
I hate the way I look.
8 months vs before (and vice versa)
absolutely no difference. I'm a whale :(
8 Months vs Preop - I'm a whale.
^ The pics didn't upload.
I reiterate - I can't stand how i look.