Like almost everyone else in here, I've been so...
Like almost everyone else in here, I've been so unhappy with my nose for around 4 years now. But it wasn't until this last year I really started to seriously consider rhinoplasty. The reason is because I am basically not happy about people changing their bodies just because they want to perfect everything. But I do think it is ok to change things if they really stand out, and if it affects your life. And for me that's what is the case. I think about my nose every day, and feel really bad because of it. Another thing that is bothering me is I can't do anything with my hair, because then my nose really stands out, so it makes me feel restricted, and much less feminine than I would like too.
Now. I'm 20 years old, and I currently don't have a job. A lot of the reason why is because I'm struggling with an extremely low self esteem. And that is also why I'm so looking forward to this, since I know it will really boost my self esteem, and help me in so many ways. I actually never thought I would be able to afford getting this done, but then I got an unexpected opportunity, so after some thought, I decided to do it.
So looking forward to the results! But not so much the operation itself. D:
I am a pretty anxious person, so I just hope I will be able to keep myself somewhat calm before the actual procedure. I don't want to take anything to calm me down before the actual anesteshia, because I'm scared of that too, so I've just gotta stay as collected as I can I guess.
First thing first.
The first thing I'm going to do now is attend a doctors appointment the 9th of July. The surgeon needed a statement from my doctor since I wrote in my health history that I have a mental illness (AVPD, if anyone wonders). It's nothing serious, and nothing that affects my ability to make my own decisions though, so that should be ok. Feels a bit weird to have to explain why I want a rhinoplasty to my doctor though. Which I haven't actually ever met before, since I've moved lately. But fingers crossed it will be fine. :)
Then, my actual consultation with the surgeon is at August the 14th. And this is actually right before school starts for me. I'm hoping I get a surgery date pretty soon after the consultation, so that I won't have to go too long at school feeling a bit down because of my nose.
That's it I guess. Now I just have to wait. :)
I appreciate all kinds of advice and tips! And pictures will be up soon.
Some photos I've edited. These show somewhat what I want to do. Feel free to comment on these. :) Do you think it looks ok afterwards?
Forgot my doctors appointment. :/
A bit annoyed with myself right now. I managed to forget my doctors appointment yesterday, so now I have to call them and get a new one. Oh well, I just hope I will get one before my consultation with my surgeon.
One more before/after.
Just did this quickly with a mobile app. I think maybe the tip is a tiny bit too up in the air in this after, but other than that, I think it looks ok.
Still some waiting until my consultation. I'm so hoping I will get an actual surgery date pretty soon after that. I'm feeling nervous already, thinking about the anesthesia and waking up after it. I don't know why, but I'm dreading that. Oh well. Just have to try and stay calm and not overthink it. :)
I will make a small list soon, with what I want to bring and/or have ready after the surgery.
I'm editing a lot of photos too really tryand see what I want and what it might look like after I hvae done this. So here is another photo with my hair back. Ah, I'm so looking forward to be able to just try different hairstyles and up-dos without having to think about my nose being so obvious all the time. :)
1 week until consultation.
Just one week left until my consultation. I'm really excited! If I feel like that's the right surgeon for me, I'm planning on just asking for the first possible opportunity to go through with surgery. I'm hoping I don't have to wait too long.
At the consulation I'm planning on describing very thoroughly what I want and expect from the surgery. I'm bringing my before/after morphs to show kind of what I want. I'll ask to see some of his before/after pictures of patients who had similar noses as me, and I'll ask if they'll make a morph of my nose too, to show what he thinks I should do.
I will tell him I don't want a too much upturned nosetip. I'm really afraid of that, because I do not look good with a nose too high up in the air. xD
And these are my questions for the consulation. Feel free to add to these for me in the comments if I've missed anything. :)
- Will you be able to do this? Are my expectations realistic?
- How big is the risk of my nose "collapsing" after the procedure?
- If this happens, will you correct this?
I already know how many noses he does a year and things like that, so that's why I haven't included those questions here. And then I guess I don't have any other questions yet, because I've done research on him and on the surgery itself and everything else, so I feel like I know what I need to know. But correct me if I'm wrong! :)
Then I added one more before/after.
Front pic + nervousness.
I'm guessing this is somewhat how my front will look from the front.
Also, today I read about that case where a girl in here got some rare bleeding from the back of her nose which could have killed her apparently. That scared me a bit! Well, it was extremely rare though, so fingers crossed I'm not one of those percents.
Also, my consultation is closing in. It's August the 14th. Excited for that. Hope I like the surgeon. :)
A really good example of a really bad angle and overall picture of my nose. Really witchy! I'm happy with the after though.
So tomorrow is my consultation. Hoping I like this doctor, so that I can schedule an operation as soon as possible. I'm bringing my before/after morphs and my questions. :)
First consultation done. Mixed feelings.
Surgeon told me he suggested straightening the nosebridge. So far I was agreeing. And he said he agreed the tip was a bit bulbous, so what he could do was define it a bit by kind of "pushing" it together at the front.
This would make it "neater" he said, but it would make no difference to how far my nosetip is placed from my face. (I believe that is called over-projected?)
And that is the first thing that made me a bit dissapointed, since my nosetip is both bulbous AND over-projected, so I was hoping for bigger changes on the tip.
So is it true that there is nothing to be done about my tip being so overprojected?
I also asked if he could remove anything from the part between my nostrills, so that it would at least make my nose tip look a bit more pointy and a tiny bit more raised, but he said that he could potensially do that, but that he thought it wouldn't make much difference.
So, will my nose end up looking like these pictures I added now if I only straighten the bridge? Because in the pics that looks kinda awful to me. Almost worse than before. :/
Looking at Sweden and Denmark.
So, since I dob't feel like I have any other alternatives in Norway, I'm looking at crossing the borders. I'll do some research on Sweden and Denmark, and hopefully they have some highly recommended surgeons. I won't give up on this.
So. I've come to the conclusion I don't feel comfortable with placing my future nose appearance into any Scandinavian surgeons hands. Reason is I don't feel like they have enough experience with the exact procedure I want done. Which includes deprojecting my nose tip.
So now my goal is to save up, which will probably take at least a year. Probably two. And then find a good surgeon in America and go there for a week.
It's really dissapointing that I couldn't find a good enough surgeon closer, and this is going to cost me a lot more now, but I still feel it's worth it. So hopefully I'll be able to save up the money somehow.
What I imagine the front will look like.
Will I find a skilled enough surgeon..
It's hard looking for a surgeon so far away, in a different country. And also, I feel like it's hard to find someone who is skilled enough to do good tip-work, since I will need to reduce a bulbous tip and deproject it slightly.
I'm kind of sad today, just hoping I will find someone skilled enough, and hoping I will get the money to go abroad. ;/
Imagine if I could look like this! I would be so happy with a result like this.
Might have choosen a Doctor.
I have been looking at a few surgeons in the Florida area, and I've come to like Dr. Richard E. Davis's before and after photos. I think he does a pretty good job with the noses, especially the revision rhinos, which looks pretty bad before, and good after.
So I sent him an e-mail with some pics, he said he would be able to do what I wanted, and he would carge 8-8500$ for the procedure, including the overnight stay. That sounds ok to me, I've just gotta save my butt of to afford the trip and surgery.
I'm a bit nervous about traveling to Florida. Especially Miami since I've only seen it on TV and heard there's a lot of crime there, and unsafe neighbourhoods. Well, hopefully I don't die. ;P And end up with a cute nose.
Long time no see! New consultation.
So. I figured going to the States would just be way to expensive for me, so I looked some more in Sweden for good surgeons. Now I have found one who looks promising, and I've booked a consultation with him. Only thing that could possibly be a problem right now is the financial factor. I will have to take a small loan if I want to do this as soon as possible, and so I just wonder if I will be able to get one.. We'll see.
My consultation is March 5th. Will update after that. :)
I'm adding some more self-edited morphs soon too.
A tad creepy morph.
Excuse the slight creepiness of this one. 9 days 'til consultation.
A couple more morphs. One week 'til consultation.
I don't want to spam the review with morphs, so these are my last ones until I get the predicted morph from the surgeon. ;)
As I'm editing these, I'm thinking about exactly what I want done at the same time. At least in the morphs I push the tip upwards a little bit, then shorten it, and then I remove the bump. So I'm thinking I want to ask if he can rise the tip slightly, and of course shorten it and remove the bump. But I'm wondering if he will need/I want him to also shorten my nostrils a bit. I don't know yet.
Had my consultation yesterday. It went really good!
Hi again. So yesterday I had my consultation with my chosen surgeon.
I was a little nervous, but I think I managed to ask him everything I wanted to anyways. I can't say I felt like we got a great connection, but on the other hand, he did not seem rushed or anything negative like that either.
First he very briefly read my health form, almost too briefly in my opinion, but I guess he reads it more thoroughly later.
Then I started by telling him what I wanted done, and he said that it all seemed like a pretty standard procedure to him, so that was a relief. Then he informed me about some stuff regarding the operation and what to expect and so on. What I noticed was different with him in comparison to other American surgeons I've read about is that he likes too keep the cast on for two whole weeks instead of one. He said he did this from experience, since the cast will just keep the new bone placement in place and protect it. He said that the bone wouldn't have time to heal in just one week, so he liked to be on the safe site and have it on for two. And I'm fine with that. Better to be on the safe site.
He then examined my nose, and told me everything looked good. I had a good starting point he said. Also he told me my skin looked good, and not too thick. I asked him about that because I had heard thick skin heals a bit slower. Then I showed him some of my morphs, and he didn't really comment them too much, so I just hope he understood what I wanted. Then I asked too see some noses he had done, but I just got too see one. It was ok though, since I had seen some pics online beforehand, and they looked great.
So all in all it went good. He took some pictures of my nose in a couple of different angles, then he told me he would make a plan for my nose, edit my picture and send it by mail, since I live quite far away from the clinic. So now I'm just very excited for the pictures, which I will get in aproximately one week. Then I will return with an update again!
They don't look good at all..
So I got the pictures from the surgeon today, and I got sooo disappointed. They look almost ridiculous!
If this is his image of a natural result I don't think he is the right one. I sent him an answer trying to explain what I didn't like, but I have a bad feeling about this now.
And it's extremely saddening, because I can't seem to find any other good surgeon in my area.. It was far enough just driving to Sweden at the consultation.
I don't know what to do. I REALLY dislike the nose I have, but i REALLY don't want an even uglier result. It almost makes me depressed worrying about this.
Just look at that extremely ridiculously small pinched nose from the front, and the pointy tiny profile.
I guess I'm going to take a look at Brittish surgeons.
Since I don't really feel comfortable letting a Scandinavian plastic surgeon do my nose anymore, I think I'm going to do some more research. I might take a look at some Brittish surgeons, since I feel like they are much more experienced, and at the same time it's not as expensive as traveling to the States either.
I definitely need to save up a lot more money still, and it's going to take much longer than first expected, but I just need to stay positive and remember that it will be worth it in the end.
I decided to go with a surgeon in Sweden.
Ultimately I decided to go with a surgeon in Sweden, who I've looked up very closely, and have had a consultation with. He seems very professional, and I like what I have seen of his previous works with noses. I feel pretty confident this is the right choice for me, even though he has been known to be pretty bad at editing pictures to kind of show you a simulated "after" result. I have been part of a forum where almost all of his previous patients mentions this, but still their actual results look very good.
Right now it's still a couple of months away, so I haven't started worrying too much yet. But I am just a bit stressed, wondering about the result, and hoping I won't end up hating the new nose. But I have always known it is a risk, and I am willing to take it. I'm trying to think that even IF the result is really not to my liking, it is possible to have a second procedure to try and fix it. But I'm of course hoping that won't have to be the case.
Other than that I am just waiting right now. I will start buying things I need for the operation when it's a bit closer.
I'm looking forward to this, and really hoping it will make a noticeable difference to my self esteem.
Some photos I've edited myself.
Here are a coupke of self-edited before and after photos of my nose. I'm really hoping the result will end up looking at least somewhat like this. I will make sure to bring these morphs even on the operation-date. I did show some on a consultation with my doctor too.
My thoughts so far in this process.
So.. It's now just a month left until my operation. It still doesn't feel completely real to me that this is actually going to happen. But when I occasionally realise it, I get struck with all these thought, which I guess are normal in this situation.
Like, how scared will I be when they drug me (I have anxiety for these things. I hate feeling drugged.) Will it hurt really bad and be extremely uncomfortable for me afterwards? What if I really don't like the appearance of my new nose, I think I will have a really hard time adjusting to something like that, since I am a very sensitive person, prone to anxiety. I am doing this whole procedure just because almost all my bad self esteem is based on my nose, so I'm kind of thinking that, even if my new nose won't be all that I wanted, it will almost definitely be better than what I have now.
I guess I have to start thinking about what necceseties I need to buy for the procedure, and after.
Also, I've heard that the lips and mouth get REALLY dry, so I'm a bit nervous about that, since I'm so sensitive to a lot of things, so I'm afraid this might bother me even more than it does for others. Hope not.
Well. Just a small rambling post. Will post more as the date gets closer. :)
Finally guys.. Just 5 days left now.
So, it's closing in fast on the big day now. I haven't felt too nervous yet, but I'm sure it will really hit hard the day before or the same day. I have bought a few supplies needed for after surgery this past few days, and I'm soon going to start packing my bag to bring to the clinic.
I'm looking through the few before-after photos I have saved from some of my doctors past patients almost every day now, just reassuring myself that my nose won't look too bad, even if the doctor should mess up a little (which of course, is extremely unlikely). I'm also trying to edit some pictures of what a not so perfect result might look like on me, just to prepare for the worst too.
Other than that, I'm just awaiting the day still, being a bit nervous about the whole thing. I hope I'll at least feel like my "after"-nose is an improvement of my current one, even if it doesn't end up looking absolutely perfect.
I guess I won't post here again until after I'm done with the operation. So.. Wish me luck :)
(Adding a couple more of my self-created before and after photos)
Picture of my current nose profile.
What my nose looks like now. Not pretty!
I can use this for reference later ;)
A sore throat suddenly appeared.. >:/
I briefly woke up tonight, only to find out that I've suddenly gotten a sore throat out of nowhere. I was just crossing my fingers that it would go away today when I woke up, but it didn't. Isn't it funny how you get sick once or twice a year, and it HAS to be the exact time it's absolutely not a good time? Cruel faith.
Right now I'm just stuffing myself with healthy food and vitamin C, lying in bed all day, keeping warm and just hoping this will turn out to be a short and mild cold. If not, I've just got to call my surgeon on Monday and ask what to do.
The thing is, I had to work hard to plan this surgery so it would fit my schedual, and of course, I had been looking forward to this for a long time. It will be so dissapointing if I have to move it forward. I'm wondering how long I will have to wait then, to get a new date..
Still, gotta wait until Monday to see what happens. If I'm still sick, I guess it's a bad idea to just hope for the best until Wednesday, which is the actual surgery date. So then I will call and ask.
So. I'm all done with the operation now. Everything went well I think. My doctor said he found a small break in my nose that he ha to try and fix too though, so I don't know if that will have an impact on the final result.
I didn't feel well the first day, and threw up a bit, but that might have to do with me not handling the anasthesia or/and one of the painkillers very well.
I feel ok today though, except being constantly tired and feeling like I have a stuffed nose.
I also got told to remove the stuffing in my nose today, but ai'm a bot scared since I'm still feeling bleeding, and I feel like the tampons kind of support the nose structure, plus I've heard that it's painful. I am so bad at handling pain. Oh well.
Feel free to ask me any questions. Will try and add pictures tomorrow, since I'm havong some trouble with the internet connection today.
Had my cast changed today and got to take a quick photo, even though I look swollen with a ducklip and beaten face. I think it looks good, don't you agree? If it stays like this I will be more than ok with that!
Contemplating on taking off cast tomorrow evening..
So, I am supposed to keep my cast on until Tuesday, since my surgeon is amongst a few who keeps the cast on for one week, then changes the cast and wants you to keep it on for another week.
The thing is, I just really want to get it off so I can walk amongst the civilication again. Also, I'm dying to take a good look at my new nose and get used to it. I am thinking, could it harm that much to take it off two days before I am supposed to? I have read that the cast doesn't do much after a week, but you just have to be extra careful not to cause it any trauma when the cast is off.
I really feel like taking it off tomorrow, so I will come back here possibly with some pictures if I decide to do it. I don't think it can affect the final results..
I feel like it's too small, giving me a kind of "weak" appearance?
I have taken off the cast now, and will continue taping for 5 weeks. Right now I know the nose is still swollen, my upper lip is pretty swollen too. The thing is though, I feel like the nose is almost too small, and I'm very afraid it will look even smaller when the swelling goes down.
Do you agree it kind of looks too "weak" compared to my other features, my cheekbones for example, or is it just because I'm not used to it yet? I just feel like it ended up looking too "operated" and a bit unnatural on my face.
Internal nasal valve collapse.. Last thing I needed.
Yeah, so.. I was worrying a bit since I haven't been able to breath through my nose in 5 weeks now. Then I accidently discovered today that if I pull my cheek lightly on the side of the nose it improves my breathing. I googled it and found out that is almost a certain sign of internal collapse. Meaning my surgeon narrowed my nose too much. I had a bad feeling since I saw my nose from the front, since I asked him not too narrow my tip too much in the front, but that's exactly what happened.
Apparently it wasn't enough that I was so sceptical and scared to begin with, and then had a pretty horrible recovery. Then I had to accept that my nose looked unaturally narrow from the front.
No, now I'm probably facing a lifetime with terrible breathing difficulties which I can do absolutely nothing about because we don't have skilled enough surgeons in Scandinavia, and I have no chance of ever getting this fixed.
I don't really know what to say, other than that I feel absolutely devastated.. Even if I somehow could come to terms with this, it would mean bad sleep, bad teeth, dry lips and constant mouth breathing etc. the rest of my life.
Some more pictures.
Here is a couple og the front, which you see look crooked. Also one from the side which looks in that lighting, but there is actually a little "dent" in it slightly above tip. Don't know what that is.
2 months now. Still got breathing difficulties sadly..
So, I'm 2 months in now, and I am still happy with the appearance of my nose. But not so happy about the extremely low function of it though. I am still 99% sure I've got a so called internal nasal valve collapse, which means there has been removed too much cartiladge, so internally there is not enough support. Also, I think there might be other problems, especially since my surgeon did say he found an old break in there which he tried to fix. It's odd that I could breath perfectly fine before though, and after he "fixed" it I now breath terrible.
Actually, I could learn to live with my now lessened function, the problem is just that it's not healthy to get so little oxygen in the long run, and also it's not good to breath through the mouth.
I'm seeing the surgeon again next Tuesday, and hopefully he'll then give me some answers. I want to know exactly what was done in my nose so I can show a doctor in Norway if I'll need corrective surgery for this.
My options are to live with this, which will be pretty bad for my health, or get yet another surgery, which I dread extremely because of the risks once again of a bad result either estethically or functionally, or maybe both.
I'm keeping my head up still though, since at least I got a result that LOOKS good, but I apparently had to sacrifice most of the function. Hoping for the best in terms of getting this fixed.
8 months update! Looks good, works bad.
So it's been 8 months already. The function of the nose is still way worse than before the surgery, but I'm managing. I'm just scared of the long term negative side effects of breathing a lot more through my mouth than before, but hopefully they're not too bad.
I still love the way my nose looks at least, and when I look at pictures of my before-nose now, I'm seriously glad I went through with this. It really made me look a lot more feminine. (Adding pics later)