3+ month update

So I got my old before photos from the clinic and they make me doubt whether this is what I want to do. They look slightly tuberous (something I never even thought about before my BA) , and that's not something I want. Will they look like that? And they look a lot smaller than what I remembered. I used to wear a 32B, wonder if that's what I'll go back to. Anyhoo, my augmented breasts definately don't make me feel any better. I don't like showing cleavage or showing off size at all. They way I like to dress definately combines better with small breasts. But, whoa, I'm in such a turmoil of thoughts and feelings about this lately. My PS definately didn't do a bad job and I don't feel any pain or have any other problems like symmastia or cc, but it would be so relieving to not have these hunormous balls ond my chest. My husband said I could always just go smaller, but then again that means I'll have to undergo surgery every 10-15 years and I really don't want to do that. I want to be natural and not have to operate "unnecessarily". So, yeah. Lots of thinking and stuff. A good Sunday to you all!

Yesterday in the locker room at the gym I caught myself staring at this girl who I just thought was so beautiful with her smallish slightly saggy breasts. Haha! Well, now I know what I want and what true beauty is. I'm gonna so love myself after this is done!

I haven't seen a PS yet but I talked with the one that did my BA via e-mail. He basically said they'll look smaller and a bit saggier, but he didn't try to convince me to replace or do a lift or anything. Plus he's quite cheap so I think I'll go with him again. Maybe January?

I had a consultation with my PS today and the only thing that bummed me out was that I have to wait until next year to have my surgery. He is genuinely a nice person, my PS, and was only puzzled by the fact that I wanted them out even though they look quite nice. I specified that it wasn't the result I was unhappy with, rather me that had changed and that I didn't feel comfortable with them anymore. We talked for a while and he explained the procedure and how the outcome would be. He told me that I had to be prepared that the breasts would sag a little in the beginning before the skin contracted and returned to something similar with what I used to have. I'm not really worried about sagging. I think they'll be beautiful anyway, because they'll be mine! Also, he told me about the bubbles and liquid that would form inside my pocket but not to worry because that would all go away within short time. When I asked about anethesia and wether it could be done under local he was hesitant, but quickly said it could be done. I'm so happy!!! I'm going to get them out on 11 January!!!

I haven't given my planned surgery much thought over x-mas until a couple of days ago when I suddenly started thinking and getting cold feet. Why would I want to go through surgery? There's nothing wrong with me! But that lasted only for a few seconds and then, since I was lying on my stomach, I felt my implants bothering me again and started getting excited. But right now I'm just really nervous. Nervous because I have opted for local anasthesia and I'm afraid I going to get freaked out and feel pain and so on. I would really like to hear from those of you that had implants removed under local. Did you feel anything? Was it scary? Or was it just quick and easy? I'm so scared right now, so please help me and let me know if I should call them and say I want it done under general.

OK, now I'm getting cold feet. Is that normal? I guess it it is. I keep on imagining myself without boobs, because that's what I think I'm going to look like compared to now. And since I haven't told anyone except for my husband, what will people say? I'm from Norway and here people tend to not comment on people's bodies directly, even when it's something positive (except if you're really close) but I know they probably will notice and talk behind my back like they probably did when I had my BA (didn't tell many people then either).

My surgery is this Friday and this week I'm going to buy myself some books to read throughout the weekend. Is that overly ambitious? I'm worried I might be too tired and only want to watch TV. That would be nice though. Just relaxing. Ah, I'm nervous!

These last few days are nervre wrecking, aren't they? My husband told me yesterday how incredibly worried he was about me undergoing surgery and how he was willing to help me with everything and anything during my recovery. He's a sweetheart!

Woke up really early today (too early to get up, like) and straight away I started thinking about my upcoming surgery. Well, took me a while but I got to sleep again. I really want to be well rested and healthy so I'm taking everything really easy, sleeping about 9 hours a day the last week and working out hard to get some edge off, and also to compensate for next week's gym absence. Lol! Anyways, any tips on how to not think about it? I know the next 28 hours are going to be hell...

They're out!!!
Today was nerve wracking; I woke up late-ish and got ready. Had so much extra time and all I could think of was how hungry and thirsty I was, and I couldn't even have a sip of water before surgery. I left home earlier than needed and took my time getting to where I was supposed to meet my husband and even waited for a while. He had to work, but got a few hours off during the afternoon. When we got to the clinic I was met by the anesthetist who straight away gave me some pills to swallow. After some time I started feeling the effect. She had told me they were anti nausea and pain killers, but there must have been some relaxing medicine too because I wasn't so nervous going into the operation room. I was told to lay down and the anesthetist gave me some sleeping meds in my IV. It's amazing how quick it was, I was asleep within seconds! Forty minutes after going into the room I was out and talking to my husband. I started trying to talk with the girl beside me, even though there was a curtain between us and neither her nor her company replied to my inquiries. Lol! Feel bad now, I shouldn't have done that.
I wasn't put into bandages or anything, only something to cover the incisions. I had been really worried about my reaction to the result the last day or two but when I looked at them I got so happy! They're so small and soft and perfect! Of course they're a bit more saggy than before (well, they weren't saggy at all before), but nothing bad at all. Now my sleeping meds are wearing off and all I can feel is a little stinging feeling in my incisions. I did get a little nauseous, but I had some ginger capsules that I took and now I don't feel that bad anymore. Hope I don't get sick.
Anyways, super happy! I'll post pics as soon as I can be bothered to get up and take them.

Posted some pics.
Feeling really nauseous, btw.

Good morning! Thank you all for your lovely comments! I'm super happy as well and I agree with you all. It doesn't really show in the photos, but they are smaller now I think, than before. But who cares. My boobs look the same today as yesterday, so no need to post new photos, but I'll post some in a week or so just so you can see the development. They are teeny tiny though. Feel like 32A and not the 32B I had before, but I am a bit skinnier, so it must be lack of body fat, and not tissue. That doesn't really bother me. I'm really happy with the outcome!
Yesterday evening, after all the meds were flushed out with about five liters of water I felt better. My hubby came home with sushi and we watched TV for a while. I had been told to take some long lasting pain pills before going to bed and also when waking up in the morning. I had also been given some to take in between if needed, but when we went to bed at midnight I just didn't feel any pain so I decided not to take anything. I woke up about three times to pee because of all the water I had been drinking that evening, but still felt no pain. When I woke up in the morning I felt rested and pain free. It's actually a bit frustrating, because it makes me want to go out and do my usual Saturday routine, working out and stuff. But I'm going to follow my doctors advice not to do anything until a week has passed. Not easy, but OK. Right now I'm waiting for a friend to visit to keep me company as my hubby's at work. He's so worried about my well-being that he doesn't even want me to go to the chemist to buy micropore tape, so I'm hoping my friend can bring some so that I can change the dressing and take a shower. My PS told me (I think) to keep the current one on for a week, but I can't see how that makes sense as I only waited about three or four days when I had my BA done and this feels just way less invasive and I had a peek at my incsions and they look fine. Guess I could wait until tomorrow though. I dunno...
Oh, and I forgot to tell. Right when leaving the clinic the nurse came over and asked if I wanted to take my implants with me home. So I did. They're huge! My hubby wants to cut them open for some reason, but I won't let him. Don't know what to do with them. Any suggestions?

Right, so one week has passed and I just feel like the luckiest person in the explantation world! I have not felt any pain after surgery, so no pain meds for me whatsoever. I have slept well, felt well and I haven't had any of the fluid or air bubbles in my pocket as I was told I would. My boobs are still pretty much like on the first day, only a tad firmer.

I let my husband cut open one of the implants (he was thrilled!) and it was really strange seeing him do it. It cuts really easily and the content can be taken out of the shell (for some reason I always thought it stuck, you know, gummy bear and all). It's almost like that gooey slime children play with, you know?

Yesterday, on the one week mark of post surgery I went to the gym and worked out a little just to see how it was (I had been told I could return a week or two after depending of how I felt) and I felt fine! I got a tiny bit worried as I was running on the tread mill because I felt that my sports bra was just a little bit too big for me and my boobs shook a little bit. I'm actually very small so even the smallest size was too big - guess I'll just have to sew it in a bit. But my boobs are fine! Took the micropore tape off for the first time today and my scars look amazing! My PS does internal stitches so they don't look scary. My left breast has been a tiny bit more sensitive in that area than my right and I suspect one of the stitches is touching a nerve or something. Also the left incision is not as pretty as the right one, but I expect it'll better with time. Right now I'm just happy!

Also, no one has commented on how I look, although I think I'm very different. From 32E to almost nothing (in my sports bra) over night is quite a change! Well, I have mostly been wearing big wooly jumpers and large necklaces to draw the eye "away" from the fact, but I have also shown up in thin shirts at work, so who knows. I'm going to train my martial art a bit later today (yayyy!!!) and I think it'll be noticed there! I'll let you know how that went... I expect I'll be hearing something from my friends the next time we go to a party or out drinking, drunk people are much more honest and freely spoken ;-)

Put up a couple of pics.

I absolutely LOVE getting comments from you gals! Lovely feeling on a Sunday morning :-)

Still no comments in real life though, and I think it's strange. I have been wearing large tees and big jumpers, but I still think it's obvious. I mean, I look so much better in baggy clothes now because they don't make me look fat anymore. But soon, when I get the courage to face opinions and stuff I'll wear more fitted stuff. I thought that someone was about to make a comment yesterday at training, but the girl was talking about my hair instead and I noticed that I wouldn't know what to say if it had been about my chest. It made me a bit nervous. Hahahaha!!! :-D

I had some spare time yesterday and started going through my wardrobe trying on clothes and running excitedly through the flat between the bedroom and the bathroom (which is where we have our largest mirror). I loooooooove the old new me!!! I had to put away a couple of dresses that I just looked ridiculous in though. Ridiculously petite! They were just too big for me all over, something I hadn't noiticed before because they were tight around the chest! And this beautiful vintage halterneck maxi dress I bought last summer fitted me waaay better. Before I'd only wear it for a couple of hours before my neck started getting painful from the boob weight and now I don't have that problem!!! Yayyy!!! :-D

Oh, and about my natural amount of breast tissue, I know it looks like I have a hell of a lot, but I really don't. I think it looks that way because of how small my ribcage is and because of the angle I took the last photo. They get pancaked flat in sports bras and are only barely a 32B. But I love them!

Two months have passed and I've never looked back. No more self conscious about big fake boobies. Just comfortable in my own skin.

Posted a couple of new photos. As you can see the scar under my right boob is much smaller than the one under my left one. Hope it gets better with time.

I stopped using micropore tape few days ago. Don't really know how long I was supposed to use it, but I think I'm fine now. Underwire bras haven't really been my thing the last few years but I can use them. I'm thinking of buying some pretty non-wire ones though. I think I'll feel more comfortable.

Anyways, just thought I'd keep you posted as it has been a while. Feel free to ask any questions :-)

So more than three months have passed since I had my explant and I'm gonna be honest and say I sometimes miss them.

NOT!

I have thought briefly about it for a second or two and then when I remember the feeling: those huge balls on my chest that I always tried to hide. No, I don't miss them. I do wish I had some more breast tissue though, because my body shape is very boyish; my titties are teeny tiny, no slight hint of a cleavage whatsoever, no real waist to brag about, and my petite frame (5'2") weighs 123 lbs with only 15% body fat (quite athletic in other words). So I do sometimes feel a little unfeminine. But I compensate in dressing that way, just wish summer would come sooner so I could use my cute dresses and skirts and shoes.

I mentioned previously that none of my friends had commented on the fact. Well, now two have! One of them was an old friend I rarely see who I met randomly at a club. He was drunk and sort of blurted it out, but he's not friends with any of my friends and none of them heard it (they are new friends that don't even know I had implants). The other was a friend who lives in South America and was here on a short holiday. I'm pretty sure she was direct about it because of that. I did not mind, however, and I know she'll only talk about it with one friend we have in common, which I'm also fine with.
I know more people have noticed and I find it hard to understand why they haven't asked or anything. Knowing people they probably talk about it behind my back though, asking eachother. But I don't mind. Still happy with my decision! :-D