34 Yrs, Septorhinoplasty, Single Mom - Northbrook, IL

I first saw my nose in profile in a three-way mirror, in a dressing room, when I was in 6th grade. I was *horrified.* I couldn't believe that was what I looked like, that my nose was that huge, as it wasn't apparent from the front.

Throughout junior high and high school, I was teased for having a big nose. As I grew into adulthood, I realized it was worse than I thought. I don't just look like the product of some unholy union between Adrien Brody and Barbara Streisand; my nose is crooked and asymmetrical. It crooks to my right. I only ever wanted to be photographed from the front, and even then, I had to tilt my head just so in order to obscure the curve of my nose.

I like my other features. I'm tall and slender, I have beautiful eyes, naturally dark pink lips, and my (dyed) red hair looks gorgeous. The only thing that detracts from my appearance is my nose, and boy, does it ever detract.

As a Christian, I have struggled for years with wanting to have my nose done. A lot of evangelical Christians would say that we shouldn't tamper with how God created us... and yet, that logic never seems to apply to braces now, does it? Tampering with God's creation is apparently perfectly fine if you're fixing crooked teeth, but not fixing a crooked nose. I've come to the conclusion that the real reason for this inconsistency is misogyny. Braces are something that both men and women need in approximately equal numbers; cosmetic surgery is something that predominantly women do. Men can also get away with greater quirks in their appearance than women can (see: Adrien Brody's nose). If men did cosmetic surgery in equivalent numbers to women, there'd be far less stigma about it in the Christian community, as with braces.

In January I visited an ENT to discuss the fact that my septum is badly deviated and I can barely breathe through my nose. He said I'm a shoe-in for a septoplasty, which my insurance will cover, but that won't change the outward appearance of my nose. This led to a consultation with a plastic surgeon this month. His name is Jeremy Warner and he specializes in noses. He has nothing but good reviews online.

The other reason I never had my nose done was money. I came from a poor family that never could have afforded to get me cosmetic surgery as a teenager or young adult. Then I married a man with terrible career ambitions, had a disabled kid, and had to stay home to take care of her. We made lots of mistakes with our credit in our 20s and were poor, poor, poor. I've spent the last 7 years clawing my way from a credit rating in the 400s to a credit rating in the 700s/800s and the last 2.5+ years re-entering the workforce and beginning a career in human resources. I had another baby in 2013, then got divorced 1.5 years ago and have been rebuilding my life to what I want it to be. Finally getting this nose job is just one more dream box ticked off.

My surgery with Dr. Warner will cost $7785 for a "class II rhinoplasty." I'll also have to pay a $250 copay for my septoplasty, but that can come out of my flexible spending account, so I won't feel it. We've scheduled the procedure for March 16th, the day after my thesis is due. I should be good-to-go for my thesis defense on April 15th and all healed up for commencement on May 13th. (I'm finishing an MA degree and also working on a professional HR certificate.) I applied for CareCredit with a 720 credit rating and was approved for $8400 in credit.

Looking forward to this journey, hoping to blog about it and vlog about it. Thanks for reading.

I have my pre-op exam with my PCP on February 22nd and my pre-op exam with Dr. Warner on March 1st. The surgery is officially set for the morning of March 16th and I have notified my supervisors of it.

I've tried telling a few people about the upcoming surgery, and decided it's a big mistake to tell anyone. The main response I get is, "What are you doing that for?! You don't need it!" I suppose that if someone agrees that it's a good idea, it could be akin to calling me ugly, but seriously; is it really not clear that my nose is crooked? Other people think it's a waste of money, like my father and stepmother. (Do you know how much money my father wasted on guns and boats and jukeboxes when I was a kid?? I could have had 4 childhood rhinoplasties with the money he's spent on that stuff.) I could buy a new $35,000 vehicle and no one would question me losing ~$4,000 in depreciation as I drove it off the lot. But I drive a trusty used car and get a rhinoplasty and I'm "wasting money."

Anyhow, here are some more photos of my nose from all angles. I'm nursing the end of a cold right now, so there's a little redness under my nostrils. But I think these pictures show the curve and crookedness of my nose well.

Had my pre-op with my PCP today. They did a swab of my nose for staph infection. I hope that doesn't affect my surgery date if it comes back positive.

While she was examining my septum today, my doctor remarked, "Oh wow, that is crooked! Very crooked!" I feel special.

Uploading some more "before" pictures. My pre-op with Dr. Warner is March 1st, next Wednesday.