36 Y/o, 5'5" 121 lbs, Breastfed 3 Kids, 34a to 34c/d, 339/371cc silicone unders - NJ

Since I was in college, I always said that I would get a breast lift if I needed it after having children one day. I even told this to my husband before we got married. Now, we're done having kids and I finished breast feeding 7 months ago. The month I stopped breast feeding, I decided I'm definitely having my surgery and I'm not just doing a lift. I always said I would have a lift done, but I don't think I ever really meant it. I'm kind of freaked out by the thought of surgery. Something just clicked though once I got my boobs back from my kids. It was like I needed to do this for myself after sacrificing my body for their benefit for so many years between pregnancies and nursing. So, my hubby thought I was insane when I said I wanted implants, but I was insistent. He couldn't believe that organic me would even consider this. I kind of can't believe it either, but once I made the decision, I haven't gone back. I know I will always regret not getting implants, so that makes me firm in my decision to get them.

I waited until a month ago to do my first consultation. I wanted to give my breasts 6 months post nursing before being evaluated. The ps said he wouldn't recommend a lift yet, even though one breast is borderline. I want to get silicone implants placed sub pectoral (dual plane). He said he would probably use about 300cc implants and he didn't commit to the profile. I really liked the ps. He was recommended by my obgyn. However, he only has a couple reviews on here and I felt that he didn't offer enough before/after pics. So I'm not sold on him. I have another consultation setup in 2 weeks with a different ps that I found on here. Super excited about that. A third ps who specializes in gummy bears is setup for the beginning of August.

At this point, I still have so many questions. My husband is insistent that I get the plastic surgery breast expert. However, I haven't had luck finding someone who primarily only does breasts in NJ. At this point, I have been most impressed by looking at a California dr's before and after pics. They are gorgeous and exactly the natural look I'm going for. He does have a fly in program, but then I'd be stuck with trying to figure out childcare for my 3 little ones. Plus, I don't feel like I could commit to a dr without meeting in person. Also, I'm not sure how follow up would be done. Would I have to find another ps in my area to do follow ups?

Pre kids I was a 34b
While nursing I was a 34c
Post kids - I am too embarrassed to go get measured. I still fill some 34b bras, but not all the ones I have.
I would like to be a full c cup after my surgery and would like to have surgery this fall - preferably October.
When my boobs are done, I want to feel sexy enough to wear some hot lingerie like in the pic.

I haven't worn a bikini since our winter vacations. I guess my breasts were still fuller at that point since I just stopped nursing. I took the kids to the beach this week. When I put on my bikini top, it literally fell off. I got teary eyed. I have no boobs left. I would definitely say I'm an A cup now. I can't believe that doing something healthy for my kids (breast feeding) has destroyed my boobs. I have always been a bit judgmental about people who've had plastic surgery. But now I think more power to them and me! Lol. As long as you love yourself as a person, I think it's great to do a little something to make you feel "normal" again. This summer is going to be super hard for me wearing a bathing suit but at least I have my surgery to look forward to in the fall.

So I would say I'm obsessed at this point. I am constantly trying to do more research on drs and anything related to implants. This morning in the shower, I was thinking of my cousin. That side of the family all has small boobs, except for her. After having kids, she suddenly had these large boobs. I hardly see her because she's out of state, so I'm not sure if it truly happened naturally or if she got implants. I really want to pick up the phone and ask her, but our relationship isn't as close because of the miles between us. And that gets me thinking. After my surgery, if someone asks me, what am I going to say? Hubby and I really don't want to advertise this. I've only told 2 close girlfriends of mine and my aunt (who's like my cool 2nd mom). I don't really plan on telling anyone else except for one of my SIL's. I know eventually I'm going to have to tell my parents since I'll need help with my kids, but I'm dreading it. I know my mom is going to majorly give me a hard time. It sucks that one of the hardest parts of this process is going to be "people management" and dealing with their attitudes and comments. I'm still unsure whether I'm going to tell my best friend or not. On one hand, I know she'll totally be there for me, but on the other hand, we're both organic freaks and I don't think she'll accept this very well. So a question for the veterans out there - how do you respond if someone asks if you did something with your boobs?