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Let’s Talk About Confidence…Or the Lack of Confidence

I used to be pretty outgoing. When Social Media was new, I was all over it. I loved posting pictures of myself: after workouts, with my friends, just because. I wasn’t shy.
I’m not sure what flipped, or when, but over the last few years I’ve noticed a dramatic decline in my confidence. I’ve gotten super shy when it comes to posting any pictures of myself, even if they’re not full body pictures. I feel like I’ve spiraled back into my postpartum depression.
This lack of confidence has affected my relationships: with my husband, my kids and my friends. The lack of confidence has affected my business too. In addition to my online health & fitness business, I am also a Photographer. I’ve been trying to build my Photography business for the last year, but I find myself questioning my abilities and my work more often than not. The lack of confidence is keeping me from putting myself, and my work, out there to solicit future business. I’m at a standstill, with all aspects of my life. And it’s depressing.
Part of my job is sharing my experiences. My lack of confidence is making me feel like my successes with my business are not a good thing, and I’ve been resenting them. I question myself a lot. And, it holds me back.
So, how is this related to my Mommy Makeover? Confidence. I’m not confident with my body or my looks. I’m hoping that I can start to mend my confidence with this Mommy Makeover.
I want to share a recent journal entry I made about this…
“I’m tired of being afraid. To share myself, fully, on social media out of fear of hurting someone else’s feelings. I’m tired of not sharing my successes & achievements because I don’t want to come across as boastful or bragging. I’m tired of being afraid that who I am isn’t enough to inspire someone else. I’m tired of holding back on social media because I’m afraid of being judged; that I don’t “look the part”, that I don’t physically look like someone who is a successful Coach. I’m tired of not feeling adequate. I’m tired of judging myself, of the negative self-talk, of purposely holding myself back. Avoiding public speaking (something I’m good at), avoiding pictures of myself, avoiding filming myself. I’m tired of the fear that is holding me back. Why am I allowing fear to have so much power over my life?”

Today is the day! Hoping all goes well and I get the results I'm hoping for.

Pre-Op & Surgery Center Call

3 days ago I had my pre-op appointment. Signed my life away. Wrote the BIGGEST check I have ever written in my life. And met with the patient care coordinator. Although she is AMAZING, I personally would have preferred to have met with my PS, but all of my questions were answered.

I got my prescriptions and instructions. What I really liked, and appreciated, was that the Patient Care Coordinator has had a Mommy Makeover with my PS, so she was able to give me her perspective on the surgery and recovery. She even showed me her TT scar and new belly button. I was SO impressed with how low and how tiny the scar was - which was great, because it put my mind at ease and answered 2 questions I had.

This morning I received a call from the surgery center and got my arrival time (11:15am, boo!) and instructions on what to wear and bring. I'll be staying overnight with them, which is a relief, especially for my loved ones.

I've been somewhat calm leading up to my surgery, until recently. Within in the last few days I've been feeling anxious and nervous. What's helping is reading other reviews here on Real Self, and thinking about how I will no longer need to think of my belly when clothes shopping, how I'll no longer have confidence issues in my bikini's, how my workout pants won't roll down when I bend down or run on the treadmill. When I'm feeling nervous, I go back to these positive outcomes!

I'm just ready to be on the other side of this surgery. :)

Before Pictures

UGH, the dreaded before pictures. In my line of work, the before pictures are GOLDEN, so I know the importance of them. Doesn't make taking, or sharing, the pictures any easier. Here are my before pictures. 1 month left with this belly! I'm mostly looking forward to being comfortable in my own clothes, not tucking my belly into my pants or workout pants. Shopping and bikinis will be the icing on the cake!

Provider Review

Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
361 Hospital Rd., Newport Beach, California