32 Year Old Removing 15 Year Old Implants - Newport Beach, CA

I've been wanting to remove my implants for a time, but I was unsure if I wanted to replace them or just remove them. I was conflicted with the way they would look, but now I don't care with aesthetic as much as I want my health back.

I got my implants right out of high school, because I felt I had waited long enough. I became obsessed with wanting breasts at 11 and they never appeared. I would cry and have breakdowns every chance I got because I was so self conscious and hated the way I looked. I also grew up in Orange County and was very influenced by the cultural images at the time. I don't even know what size I was, maybe a AA? I used to just wear padding and inserts, I felt like a boy and I wanted to look womanly. During my senior year of high school I found a really great doctor and thought my dreams were coming true. I loved having breasts right away and they looked good, a full B cup (I think 300cc) I wanted natural since I was slim and a runner. I got saline, under the muscle, incision at nipple.

I had no trouble with the implants, but I did feel like I had a major secret. I didn't tell anyone except my mother, aunt, and best friend. I felt shallow and didn't want to be judged. I would at first deny it if boyfriends asked if they were fake. I was ashamed but I loved having breasts. By the time I was 29 I really though about having them out for good. I had adopted a healthy lifestyle when I was 20, doing lots of yoga and eating healthy and it didn't seem to match with having a foreign objects in my body. I should have taken them out once the 10 year mark had passed, but I blamed it on timing and money and inability to make a decision.

Then at 28/29 (2012) strange things started happening. First I started gaining weight and it was hard to lose, my skin was breaking out, and my stiff neck was getting worse, hair thinning, feeling fatigued. (Tests showed underactive thyroid)Then the worst... I got Bell's palsy later that year. The left side of my face became immediately paralyzed. The cause it still unknown, but it is said to come from a virus attacking the nerve. I could never say all this was due to breast implants but I'm willing to take them out just to see if I see an improvement. I on,ly maybe recovered 80/90% from the facial paralysis, assuming my nerves are permanently damaged and I will never see myself fully smile again.

Just very recently I knew I wanted them out and schedule an appointment asap. I hate how they feel when I sleep or do yoga, just cramping or pressing uncomfortably on my chest wall. I'm going in for my surgery March 30th and I couldn't be more excited. Strangely enough I am just as excited to get them removed as I was to get them 15 years ago. I wish I never got them, it's a regret only because I feel my health has suffered. There was no stopping my 18 year old self, but too young to decide the outcome of my future. I didn't think at the time of having to continually replace them, having children/ breastfeeding, what these could potentially do to my health. I was just very insecure and thought implants would solve the problem. They have served their purpose and now I need to move forward with my life as a 32 year old woman. This has been quite the journey of self discovery which I hope will lead to self love and acceptance.

I'm terrified of surgery and I hope I am doing the right thing, also using my original surgeon. I know there are holistic doctors who will remove all toxic substances but I am not going that route. Just hoping this will be it for me and no other problems arise. I will post more info post op.

It's amazing how much my breasts have changed over the years. I don't have before photos, those are at the doctors office.

It's getting closer to the surgery date, I'm feeling really anxious but also excited to have these things out of my body. I'm noticing more and more how strange they feel inside my chest and just sleeping or lying on my side feels really uncomfortable like their jabbing me in the chest. Maybe because I made the decision to get them removed so many things are becoming more apparent to me . It seems bizarre that they will no longer be a part of me, but it also just feels really strange to have foreign objects in my body. I'm experiencing a lot of thoughts and emotions, because I feel like this is a huge step in my life. When I went in for my initial consultation, my doctor said the capsules do not need to be removed. I was so sure that they needed to be so I left not quite sure if this was the right decision. I also didn't really talk about getting bells palsy and some of the other symptoms that I've been experiencing. My main concern is the facial paralysis- Bell's palsy on the left side of my face, stiff neck and general fatigue. I was so eager to make the surgery date and it seemed to
Happen rather quickly. But through this website and doing some other research I think that the capsules do need to be removed for me to regain my health fully. I'm going to talk with my doctor again about removing the capsules, even if it costs more. I know he is a great doctor and I have faith that he will do the best he can. I am amazed at so much research I've been finding over the Internet, I have to ask myself that if this was accessible to me at the time I got surgery in 2001 I might have never made that decision. I really wish I could go back, tell my younger self not to get breast implants because it would be affecting me for the rest of my adult life. Maybe this is a 15 year journey I've had to go through in order to fully except myself, and getting implants was part of that process. It's somehow inspires me to help young girls with self-esteem issues, after all this to be really interesting to go back to school or help counsel others.

I had a full on break down this weekend. I was watching a lot of YouTube videos, listening to dr. Kolb and i became extremely nervous that I would never regain my health back and also was very upset because I thought I might not be able to breast-feed, or I'd be fatigued forever. It brings on a lot of depressing thoughts. I was overcome with guilt and worry for what I had willingly put into my body. I'm glad that I'm doing something about it and I will be positive that I will start to feel more like myself again.

Tomorrow I will start the vitamins I was given for pre surgery. I'm trying to stay as healthy as possible and keep my immune system strong. I'm continuing to eat really well, drink a lot of water, get proper rest, and exercise (But not extreme). The hardest thing is to stay calm because I get really anxious and prone to worrying a lot. Luckily my work schedule is extremely light for the next couple weeks, and then I am taking a two-week vacation. I want to be as kind to my body as possible because I know that surgery takes a lot of healing. I wanted to thank everyone for their support and comments. I have enjoyed reading others stories and experiences and I think it has really inspired me to make this change. I wish everyone well on their explant healing journey.

What are your thoughts on the capsule issue?