It All Starts Here - Newmarket, ON

Well….I hummed and hawwed over writing about my journey but after hours of research and not being able to find the exact answers I was looking for in other people’s journey’s I thought I’d start my own and see if mine turns out differently. I am precisely three weeks tomorrow from my surgery date. To say I am having trouble sleeping, that I am having second thoughts…well that is the understatement of the year!

Where to begin? I once weighed 250 pounds and over the course of 10 years I have dropped 90lbs (landing me at my high school weight and within the lower end of my BMI). How the heck did I do this you ask? Well, 10 years is a long time – it was a variety of changes to my diet until it has been honed down to a couple rice cakes, protein and raw veggies – kidding!. Really it was a gradual weight loss so I can’t really pin-point it to one single thing but really it took years of years of changing bad eating habits, getting more active and really wanting to lose weight. The last 40 came off 3 years ago and I have maintained the exact same weight (well, within a few pounds after a great weekend!) for that length of time.

I’ve literally worked my butt (and belly) off these past three years trying to get flat abs, a flat stomach…anything flat will do (ehem, well, except the “girls” who seemed to be the first to say sayonara in the weight loss process- sigh). After enlisting nutritionists, naturopaths and elite personal trainers in hopes they could help with my goal in a roll free mid-section it turns out you just can’t exercise loose skin away (seems no amount of cross fit, zumba, weight training, running or anything else would blast this skin away). I did it to myself through gorging, over drinking, over eating and I guess loose, saggy skin is my punishment (and perhaps the pain to rectify this situation will be my ultimate punishment).

So I booked an appointment with a surgeon to get the real deal. Is this saggy, loose yucki-ness skin or fat? I had high hopes that he’d say “get your ass back on the treadmill girl” and all I’d have to do was workout harder, eat less and ta-da my six pack would appear but sadly he revealed that no amount of crunches, cycling or sprinting would help. I mean, I was a bit proud that I had done absolutely everything I could have to rid my body of fat but also the sadness set in that all my hard work was hidden under a droopy layer of stretch marked, stretched out skin that would always be “hanging” over me (enjoy the pun) unless I went under the knife….if you know me you know that once I get an idea into my head it’s a bit hard to shake…so ready, set go…tummy tuck was booked. Four weeks to go….so many unanswered questions….Do I tell my kids? Do I tell my friends? Will they judge me? Think I am lazy? Think I am crazy? Why do I care what they think? Will I regret it? Will I hate the scar?….as you can see it’s all a bit over-whelming….But this is my story and I hope it will help others in choosing their story. Until next time…I look forward to any encouragement or tips anyone can give…

Last week I met with my personal trainer to determine if and what I can do prior to surgery to best prepare my body for this traumatic experience. While there is nothing I can do to prevent the pain from the incision he did say there are a number of things I can do in the next few weeks to increase my lean muscle mass. I have worked so hard to get in shape that I am a bit scared I’ll go all flabby and jiggly again (and I’m not talking saggy skin here!) in the six to eight weeks I won’t be pumpin iron, shaking it at Zumba or hitting the pavement.

His tips were to hit the gym and hit the weights hard and heavy for the next four weeks. Get in at lease 6 sessions before my surgery and lift hard. Lift heavy. He said I should be sore and my goal is to increase my lean body mass. So hold me to it! I am going to hit weights hard twice a week and then run (I’m doing a 10k on May 11 – happy Mom’s day to me!) and Zumba for a total of 5-6 days a week for the next four weeks. I also spoke to a nutritionist about foods to heal and a naturopath about remedies to help with swelling which I’ll talk more about later. Until then….

Well, I have been a bit delinquent in updating but still being 2 weeks out not much has changed. I know in my last post I said I was going to do weights hard 2 times a week and then run, zumba, cardio the other 3 days but I injured my knee on Sunday so that plan is out. I have a 10k tomorrow which I am hoping by taking the entire week off I can still run. I now only have 2 weeks left to get my exercise fix in before I am on my forced six week recovery hiatus.

I have finally told two of my closest friends about the surgery. For some reason I was most worried to tell them and to my pleasure they both reacted amazing. I don’t know why I seem to be able to tell complete strangers about the surgery but then I was worried to tell my closest friends. I am blessed to have such a wonderful network who is so proud of me for shedding so many pounds and they all agree this is the last step in my weight loss progress. I’ve been trying to stay completely positive about the surgery and trying to stay focussed on the results and not how I’ll feel right after. I have also asked my husband to take my scale away for at least eight weeks after surgery as I don’t want to get discouraged by water, fluid, etc retention.

I also have a huge work fashion event exactly three weeks post surgery so I have purchased a few outfits I think might be fancy enough but still comfortable and will hide the binder. I’ll for sure post photos of what I am wearing post surgery as I found that is what is missing in most posts. It’s great to see the before and afters but I had wanted to see what people were wearing for their first days back at work, to go grocery shopping PO but I couldn’t really find shots like that to give me an idea of what I can wear. I don’t mind being in sweats and my hubby’s t-shirts for a week but it would be great to know other options for when I am feeling a wee bit better.

I am also going to post before pictures soon. I guess like everyone I am also putting that off! Until next time any support and tips you have I welcome them.