34, Desperately Needing Breast Reduction, 36H. Scared of Operation :(

I need a breast reduction so bad! I have been approved, waiting for surgery which could be days or months. I had my consultation with Dr. Shane Seal in Newfoundland, Canada. Since it's covered by MCP he didn't show me any before and after pics, I guess that is reserved for clients of his private practice. He is confident he can get me to a good size, but one of his comments threw me off. He said it's for therapeutic reasons, no cosmetic. Does that mean he doesn't take as much care as he would for someone who goes to his private practice and pays for it? This is my 2nd consult, first was with Dr. Joy Cluett. I wasn't particularly impressed with her and again, no before and after pictures. Since it's a small place where I live, there are some reviews on these plastic surgeons, but no pictures of their work. It really disconcerts me because I wonder is he the type that leaves them on the larger side? I don't want to go through all this and be left with breasts I still feel are too big. I am also terrified of the operation, I've never been under general anaesthetic. I am afraid I am one of those people who will die on the table.

Surgery is scheduled for Nov. 16. Wondering if I'll actually have the nerve to go through with it.

Pre-op is Tuesday and the big day is Wednesday. Nerves are all over the place. Seriously wondering if my anxiety/fear of hospitals will get the better of me and I'll end up cancelling. I'm trying to stay positive but can't help being realistic.

Surgery was rescheduled until after Xmas. Figured I'd post a few current pics. I lost 20 lbs in the past year and it's changed the shape of my breasts a lot.