Not the Tattoo I Wanted...

My 2nd treatment was on 9/7 and I decided to use a different removal place (with a different laser--this time Quanta) because of Yelp reviews and getting a much better price. So, I took the subway out to Queens (from Manhattan) for treatment #2. It's hard to say whether it was better/worse more/less effective than the first treatment. I don't see much of a difference in my tattoo--but I think that is to be expected since it is such a new tattoo (June 2016). Both treatments got great frosting. This time, I didn't get the bleeding/blistering--which was nice--but it still became very raised, red, and VERY ITCHY. This is clearly going to take A LOT of treatments--so getting a better price is important. I'm starting to care a lot less about my tattoo and rarely look at it. I still hide it from my family though.
When this is gone, I'm pretty sure I want to get another tattoo, again on my inner ankle. But this time lower (in the right place) and with an artist who will take the time to completely understand what I want and try their best to make me happy. I'm sick of hearing about tattoo artists that pressure people into getting tattoos that are different from what they want. I wish mine was a tattoo with better options for a coverup--but it's not. A coverup would need to be too big and too dark. I'll update again when I can see any sign of a change. It's slow-going!

The ink is finally starting to visibly break up. Posting a photo.

My tattoo is a small (1 inch x 1 inch) avocado on my inner leg, just above the ankle, black with gray shading, and around one month old now. I'm 39 and it was my first tattoo. I guess I should tell the whole story.

I started thinking about getting a tattoo several months earlier and played with a lot of design ideas.
I thoroughly researched artists in my area and met with several. The final idea was a small avocado, sliced in half, with the pit in the shape of a heart. The heart was for someone very dear to me, who died last year.

So, I chose the artist for this tattoo and presented the idea to her. At first, she was excited about it--but when she drew it up, her vision didn't match mine. I asked her to make changes several times and eventually she got frustrated and told me to think about it more and come back if I still wanted the tattoo. After being sent away, I realized I needed to draw the tattoo myself because I had a very specific image in mind. So, I went home and drew up the tattoo. I worked on it until it was exactly what I wanted. Then, I went back to the tattoo shop--but the artist refused to look at my drawing. I suppose she was offended that I hadn't been happy with her drawings the day prior. She barely even acknowledged me. So, I left the shop upset. I went from there to another tattoo shop, where another artist (a second choice) works. He happened to be there that day and was available. The second choice artist had a specialty in mandalas, but sometimes did other pieces. I thought, since the drawing was already done and didn't need any kind of revision, this would be easy for him. Wrong. He insisted on re-drawing the avocado and wanted to change the shading. He insisted that his way would be better. He insisted that placing the tattoo higher on my ankle than I wanted would be better. I think I was afraid of pissing off another tattoo artist, so I went along with his suggestions--telling myself that he was the expert and probably knew better. That was my biggest mistake, not being assertive and demanding what I wanted. I suppose, I just wasn't myself in that moment. I was upset about the encounter with the first tattoo artist.

When the tattoo was done, I immediately knew it didn't look anything like my drawing. It was darker than I wanted, making it sort of masculine (my drawing was very delicate), the overall shape was off, and the heart didn't look like a heart. I went home hoping to get used to it. Over the next few days, my friends all confirmed that it didn't look anything like my drawing. Most people seemed to not hate it, but not particularly like it either. I hated it. I didn't tell anyone in my family about the tattoo (and still haven't). I became very anxious and felt ashamed and foolish for ending up with a bad tattoo, even after doing all the research. I think the only reason I didn't move into a really terrible mental state is because the tattoo was so small.

I moved right on to laser removal options. I was lucky to find someone talented, who does the tattoo removal/fading for most of the tattoo artist community in NYC. She said I could start removal when the tattoo was 2 weeks old (healed) and expected full removal in 6-8 treatment, spaced 8 weeks apart in the beginning, then 12 weeks apart. In this whole experience, I'm grateful to at least not need to doubt my choice of where to have the removal done. I completely trust this woman.

So, the first treatment was on 7/12 with the Medlite C6 laser (Q switch). It was very fast and not very painful at all. I didn't use the numbing cream that she offers free of charge--but she did use a cold air blower that probably made the experience more pleasant. The whole treatment took less than a minute, maybe less than 30 seconds. Afterwards, she bandaged it up and I was very surprised to find pinpoint bleeding, small blisters, and a ton of redness when I got home. It's been 8 days now and looks like the darker (more ink dense) parts of the tattoo are getting ready to peel. This skin is loose. I haven't experienced any itchiness and that tattoo is much less raised than it was for the first 5 or 6 days. I think a lot of the gray shading it already gone and almost all of the redness/irritation is gone. I'm very curious about what will happen in the next few weeks. My next treatment is in Sept.

For now, I'm going to try to focus on other parts of my life and try to stop obsessing over the tattoo. My hope is to eventually re-do the whole tattoo, if complete removal is possible. If not, I hope to fade it enough for a decent touch up. My other hope is for minimal damage to the skin (pigmentation, texture)--so I'm planning to go very slowly. My removal is going to cost $175 per treatment (with a $50 new customer discount for the first treatment). If I'd written this review a month ago, it would have had a completely different tone. I was extremely anxious and upset. At this point, I think I'm accepting that I didn't get the tattoo I wanted. One of my jobs is teaching yoga--and I don't like that the tattoo is always visible to my students in class. They ask about it and it makes me uncomfortable. Hopefully the removal will go smoothly and I'll be able to one day put this in the past. I know reading other people's reviews has helped me--so I will try to keep you guys updated.