Still thinking about it!!!
Oh God, where to start?! The problems started...
Oh God, where to start?!
The problems started when I was about 22. My family have always been "big" - my Mum had a reduction 12 years ago to get her G cups down to a D-ish. So I was always a large C/D but when I went on the mini-pill at age 22 they went wild! Swelled up to an E/F cup and I was totally miserable - I have always been tiny, barely 100lbs and having these huge balloons in front of me was embarrassing and humiliating.
Even though I stopped the mini-pill pretty damned sharpish, they never really recovered and I always hovered around a DD, and they were extremely sensitive with bad bad bad mastalgia.
The doc told me things might improve after having children. Well - 3 kids later they really haven`t. They atrophied for a while after I finished breastfeeding, but then slowly crept up again. Now I am a D which I KNOW is not huge but I am still small - 24" waist (on a good day!) and 34" hips, 5`4" and 105lbs.
But the worst is the pain and swelling I get every month - for about half to two-thirds of every month to be precise. I totally understand that a reduction won`t stop this problem, but if they are nice and small they will be easier to manage, no?
Also - I live in Asia, a very hot part of Asia, and having to live with big boobs here is very unpleasant. The heat is uncomfortable, big boobs are not exactly a common sight here and the attention I get is annoying and humiliating. I can`t get bras to fit me easily, and swimsuits - forget it. I hunch over a lot to try and hide my size, and I get neck and back pain from that.
My boobs are very dense so even though they are not especially large they feel heavy all the time. I`m pretty miserable.
I am coming home for 2 months on the 30th, and I have an appointment with a breast surgeon on July 6th. I haven`t made a definitely decision yet, but am garnering opinions if that is ok with everyone here?! Any feedback most welcome! Thank you for reading!
Well, here I am back home and I had my...
In a nutshell, he said that based on UK "norms" he would consider me "perfect" just as I am and would not recommend surgery. HOWEVER - I am not what you would call a "norm", given that I live permanently in Asia, and that I have had this mastalgia problem for nearly 20 years and have tried everything to fix it (I wrote it all out for him). Plus he can understand that given the fact that I am so sporty, carrying around a set of D's (I measured myself when I first got back and yep, back up to a D again!) on my frame he can understand that it is uncomfortable for me.
The only avenue I haven't explored on the mastalgia problem is Tamoxifen, which is rarely given as a last resort because the side effects are so risky (uterine cancer and other complications). For breast cancer prevention the risks are worth it, but not for mastalgia. Therefore, he says the only option for me now really is surgery, which while it won't fix the mastalgia issue, will certainly make it easier to manage in terms of them being smaller and lighter, and less breast tissue = less tissue to swell and cause pain.
The other bit of good news is that whilst there have been no clinical studies proving a link to breast cancer risk and mastalgia, there is strong anecdotal evidence based on his and other clinicians experience, that there is no greater incidence in mastalgia patients against the general population. This guy is NOT a plastic surgeon, he is a breast surgeon, so ALL he does is breasts, and he has 30 years experience. He really knows his stuff so I trust him!
He said regrowth can happen, but generally this happens a) with young women not yet fully developed (not me! I am nearly 40!), after pregnancy (thank you everyone, but this baby-making factory is now closed for business!), and with HRT (ok, tricky one this, but that is still light years away (I hope!). And as he pointed out, if I am going to get bigger, I am going to get bigger anyway with or without the surgery. Do I want to grow from a B back to a D in 20 years, or a D to an F??! Ouch! Good point!
So right now I am at crunch time. I have this weekend to decide to do this, and he wants an answer on Monday morning, because if I go ahead with it, he is going to schedule some special theatre time for me because we have this deadline of August 19th for me to fly back to Japan and I need to factor in the recovery time.
I am feeling pretty "normal" right now, being back home and seeing caucasian women all around me with caucasian boobs! I don't feel quite so massive as when I am surrounded by lovely petite Asian women! But I am pretty certain if I don't go ahead with this, and return back home I will regret it within days of touching back down in Asia again! I don't think I will regret doing it. He said that a "B" cup is absolutely achievable for me (something to do with the "footprint" of the breast on the chest wall which cannot be adjusted and directly affects the end size, but my footprint is quite small to start with). My husband is a little freaked out about the scarring, wimp that he is, but I am not at all. The surgeon said that the underscar will only be a few cms long, and nipple sensation loss is no longer an issue due to the technique now of keeping the nipple on the pedestal connected to blood and nerve supply all through the surgery.
I went to the movies last night, (MIB 3, very good!) and spent most of the movie staring down at the lovely curve I have between my breasts and thinking "do I REALLY want to do this??!" but then I popped to the bathroom afterwards, and looked in the mirror and I just felt like I was "all chest" - I stuck out a mile!
So - this is where I am at right now. Should I do this? Can I justify it, given that I am "not that big" and there are people far worse off than me? Then I calculate it is going to cost me about $1.30 per day for the next 20 years to feel comfortable and that is absolutely worth it to me. I'll just give up my daily bar of chocolate - I shouldn't be eating it anyway!
Would welcome any thoughts on this. It is an extremely difficult decision, but one I know many many people on here have already been through, and I am sitting here waiting and hoping to reap in all your pearls of wisdom!!! Thank you for reading!
Replies (7)

Wishing you luck as you make your decision. I can tell you that I don't regret my decision at all. Though I do regret that I didn't do it years ago when I had initially considered it. Granted I was an H-cup prior to surgery and am still a DD, but have to admit, that if my husband weren't so totally against it, may consider another full reduction to get even smaller :-/ But would do it again even if I knew this was the smallest I would be able to achieve. My scars aren't bad, and don't bother my husband at all, though he is a big fat wuss too. Please let us know what you decide.
Se1f, I'm stealing that one and using it on my kids as if it were my own! Good advice :-)
Se1f 1ove, what you said absolutely rings bells for me. I am pretty certain if I DON'T do this I will regret it. I am also pretty certain that if I DO do it, I won't. I am finding it much easier to get behind the decision to DO it than the decision not to.
Of course, that is easier to type right now given that I am just starting my third glass of chateau neuf du pape! It is also easier given that I got home and tried on the gorgeous new maxi-dress I bought today in the sale, and found that, while it looked okay, I was very "booby" in it. All you see is the boobs. Not the beautiful pattern, or the cut of the dress, or the way it flatters the neckline - just the boobs!
I have one more day to decide. I am scared. The thought of surgery is terrifying for me, for all the obvious reasons, even though I know my surgeon is fab and the hospital is fantastic. My Mum is 100% behind me (having been through the same surgery herself) and willing to help with the kids while I recover. I showed hubby some of the before and after pics on this website so he knows what to expect (cherry-picked the best ones for propaganda purposes!) and he didn't freak out too much. Actually, now I think about it he seemed to be positively enjoying his "education" but I digress....!
I think I know what needs to be done. It is just saying it out loud - my name is KiraKira and I am getting a breast reduction.
I am SO grateful to everyone here who is supporting me - thank you all so much. Knowing I have people who have been through it all already to "talk" to, who understand my flip-flapping backwards and forwards on the decision and don't judge me for any of it - you are all strangers to me, and yet you are all such an important part of this journey for me - I appreciate every one of you!
I will update again once the decision is made - but I think we all know which way this is going!
You are going to have so much fun shopping for new clothes! Living in Japan, I can imagine how hard it is to find things that fit as Asian women are so petite. I had that problem when I lived in Singapore.
Looking forward to your next update!!
I sent a confirmation email to the breast nurse...
She said it is not a problem that I am on the pill and haven't come off it, they will just take countermeasures like support stockings to prevent DVT. She has recommended a post-surgery recovery bra website (www.amoena.co.uk) and sad anything like E45 cream will be good post-surgery to keep the scars hydrated - although if anyone here can recommend some scar-healing creams I would love to hear about them.
It has been a really difficult decision, because now I am back home I feel relatively "normal"! But I keep remembering that just 2 weeks ago I was desperate for this surgery. I know that if I don't do it, I will regret it in the future. The mastalgia has been a huge problem for me for most of my adult life, and I have wanted this reduction for as long as I can remember. The only thing that has held me off until now was the potential that after having children it would rectify itself, but that is clearly not happening, and combined with my size on my frame, I am certain that this surgery will a) make the mastalgia easier to manage and b) make me physically and psychologically more comfortable.
Trying not to think about the cost of it! Can't shake the feeling that Mummy is dipping into the kids college fund to make herself feel better! What kind of terrible mother am I???!!! Then I remind myself I am one that hopefully in the future will be viewed as something more than just a walking set of boobs - maybe this can be considered an investment in my future career and future earning potential??! Oh, the justification! Damn myself for being so flaming analytical about everything! "Make a decision, stick to it, make it work" - THAT is all that I need to do. And the decision to go ahead sits with me much more comfortable than the decision to cancel everything.
I feel sick with nerves and anticipation, but I also feel calmer than I have in days, just knowing that is it, the decision is made and I am doing this! Will update when I have a date and add some more "before" photos!
Replies (8)

The mere fact that you are trying to justify this and KNOW you are trying to justify it is indication enough that this is clearly a very significant issue for you. I genuinely don't think you need to feel the need to justify or rationalize something that is going to give you such enormous emotional and psychological relief as well as the potential for a great deal of physical relief as well. I sort of think of it the same way I would if you were to have a giant birthmark on your face. It wasn't doing you any harm and there are certain contained and calculated risks (and costs) associated with having it removed, but the relief associated with its removal is incalculable. It MIGHT be difficult for others to understand, but that's why you're HERE. We get it. It's not so much the size as how that size makes you feel. If one of your kids had something that wasn't disfiguring, but impacted their self image on a minute-by-minute basis and caused them great self-consciousness, I bet you'd you'd move heaven and earth to help them address it. If you're here, you're not here to be discouraged, you're here looking for approval to proceed. And you've got it from this camper!! You're young and have 50+ years ahead of you; I think you should feel as good about yourself as possible. Go for it!
I completely understand your hesitation about going ahead with the BR given the cost. A lot of ladies here had their surgery covered by insurance, and I think in that case, it's really a no-brainer. But for those of us who pay out-of-pocket, it is a tough decision. I struggled with it. I was lucky in that I was able to do it in Thailand and probably paid half of what it would have cost at home. But it's still expensive and I think that us mothers have a lot of guilt when it comes to spending money or doing something for ourselves. But you are young, you'll make more money and you will never miss what you spent on the BR. Plus your kids can all get jobs to pay for their college education, lol.
I am SUCH an analyst that I have to think everything to death, and especially because this is coming out of my own pocket! But I am trying to look at this like it will cost me a dollar a day for the next 20 years, rather than £5,000 up front!
I have just mailed the nurse to find out what is happening. The surgeon said he would beg some extra theatre time this week, but it is now Tuesday afternoon and I haven't heard anything! She said she is in clinic with him this evening, so she will ask him then and get back to me with a date and time - so I guess I will know tonight but it MUST be sometime this week. Saturday is the deadline, because I am flying home on August 19th and he already said he wants me to have 5 weeks clear recovery time before flying back which makes this weekend the deadline. Which means by this weekend I will have new boobies!
This is it! Boobageddon! I keep expecting Steve Tyler to appear from nowhere and start crooning "I don't wanna cloooose my eyeees!"
Another thing that helped was reading that so many older women who have had the procedure say their only regret was that they didn't do it years ago.
So I am going to go with RosieRoos suggestion - get a fabulous set of new boobs and have the little tykes get jobs in McDonalds to finance their college education! Great boobs AND free fries for 4 years! What more could a Mum of three ask for?!
I mailed the nurse to find out what is happening because thies surgery needs to happen this week to meet my deadline of 5 weeks clear recovery before flying home (which will be this Saturday). She is going to see the surgeon tonight and confirm a date and time for me, but for the deadline to work it MUST be this week. I am guessing it will be this Thursday or Friday, but the earlier the better quite honestly, to maximise recovery and prevent me chickening out!
So this is it! After 18 years of stress - this week is Boobageddon! I keep expecting Steve Tyler to pop up out of nowhere and start warbling "I don' wanna clo-ose my eyeees!"

They're not in therapy. Yet :)
It takes bigger stones to have this surgery than it does to NOT have it. It just feels more self-indulgent because it's US...not THEM.
Replies (12)
Thanks for sharing your story, Kira! I will be anxious to hear how your consultation with the PS goes. Please make sure to update us when you can and let us know how your decision is coming along!
I am really lucky in that my Mum has worked in the "breast industry" (shall we say?!) for over 30 years so she knows EXACTLY who to go to. I am not from the US, I am British but there was no option for "UK" in the menu so I chose NY as pretty much the closest!
I have a consultation scheduled for July 6th. I am also really nervous but I know what to expect, as Mum has been through the same thing and thanks to the lovely ladies on here!
My biggest concern is that they are so reactive and hormonal - will they make like earthworms and just grow back once they`ve been cut in half??! My other big concern is that, as they are so hormone-sensitive, am I at high risk of BC in the future - in which case just lop them off altogether and give me a nice set of falsies please!
In actuality women who have had a breast reduction are at a decreased risk of breast cancer. In my research of that they don't give a definitive answer for it, but think it is likely due to the fact that they remove such a large part of dense tissue that can obscure a lump, which makes them easier to detect early, or simply its a numbers game...if you have 1000 gms of tissue and remove 500gms, you have just cut your risk in half.
Certainly don't feel bad that you want a reduction... You are a tiny little thing and D breasts would be quite large for you to lug around all of the time. Now I certainly am one who wishes I were closer to a D than what I am, but I also have to say that lifted and perky breasts are much more comfortable than sagging and droopy breasts of the same size. It doesn't feel like I have something constantly pulling me down.
I hope your first consult goes well. Will you be remaining in the states then until you have your surgery done or will you return to Asia and then return for the surgery at a later date?
I will be flying home on August 20th back to Asia. That will give me 5 clear weeks to recover - but will that be enough? I heal well based on past experience, but I will be flying alone with 3 kids!!! People are generally very kind and I am sure I can ask a guy at the airport to help me with the bags (although maybe that won`t work anymore if I have small boobs??!!! hee hee!) but I am most concerned about cuddling. (my children, NOT the guy helping me with the bags!) My youngest is 2 and a cuddle bug. He will want a cuddle on the plane. Will that be possible after just 5 weeks? Little mite can barely go 5 minutes without a cuddle at the moment!
I know this sounds a little crazy, but I did manage to fly home alone with the 3 of them before via Denmark 7 weeks after a nose job!
I was healed at 5 weeks. Now everyone heals at a different pace, but at 5 weeks I was released to full activities, including exercise, lifting, etc. I think you should be able to get in some pretty good cuddles :-) And if that pig in the airport won't carry your bags just because you don't have ginormous boobs, then forget him...you don't need him anyway :-D
Good luck geetting the date you need!
I do wish you the best of luck. I know there are a lot of emotions involved, too. Just follow your heart - you'll do the right thing. :-)