Tuberous Breast Correction Surgery- at 44!!

Tuberous breasts have been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember. Although I had no name for my "condition" before the 21st century, I'd never seen breasts that resembled mine (narrow, pointy, asymmetrical- no lower pole fullness) in movies, magazines, or in dressing rooms. I've been thinking about surgery since the 1990s, but had not given it serious consideration until four years ago, when I realized 1) I could never not be ashamed of my body, despite Pilates, feminism, positive affirmations--- while I rejected rigid media standards for beauty, indifferent to some body flaws (belly pooch, stretch marks), there would always be a feeling of mortification whenever I removed my bra- I wore padded push-ups to greet delivery boys at the door! and; 2) Having tuberous breasts crippled my sexual self-confidence and led to poor relationship choices with substandard men; they subconsciously made me feel less of a woman, undeserving of a good relationship, and may even have affected how I walked, talked, and carried myself in other contexts (I was told that I seemed too guarded and "reserved").
I found Dr. Kolker through an article about tuberous breasts in Cosmopolitan and have been in touch with him and his patient coordinator, Jillian DeGrenier, since 2014. Kolker is a tuberous breast specialist with the most natural results in breast augmentation in NYC, a surgeon-artist who earns a living making people happy with their bodies. I found him brilliant and affable and looked no further for a surgeon, as I knew that only he would be able to give me the results that I wanted.
Since my mammogram came back abnormal, with calcifications found in my right breast, my surgery was derailed: I had to have a biopsy and several follow-up mammograms scheduled at six-month intervals before Dr. Kolker would think about moving forward. Everything turned out fine (no breast cancer), and we scheduled a date in late March, two days before Easter: suffering, resurrection, rebirth. Timing couldn't be more symbolic.
And yet--being the ridiculously complicated woman I am-- I wasn't elated that it was finally happening. I wrestled with doubts, felt paralyzed with indecision, consulted famous psychics and tormented friends. The large cost was a big factor (I'm going solo without child support; a college teacher, not a CEO). And then, the possible health complications.... I knew this would not be a one-time operation; at some point they would have to be removed and replaced. Jillian was extremely patient with me, answered all my questions promptly, and confided in me about her own plastic surgery journey; it was easy to connect with her.
Although I went through the motions, scheduling my pre-op bloodwork, taking my vitamins, quitting nicotine, etc. I didn't feel like I'd made my decision until I paid my balance, parting with a lot of money I'd worked very hard at a toxic job to save. I knew I'd regret not doing it much more than I'd ever regret doing it.
I am now three days' post-op and cannot be more pleased with my results: they are round and already look natural and beautiful. To say that Dr. Kolker is a talented surgeon is an understatement. I had a very pleasant experience, minimal pain (just discomfort- as if someone were sitting on my chest- that increased when I raised myself to a sitting position). I had textured silicone gels (aka gummy bear implants) placed under the muscle, 230 -255 cc, a lift and an areola and nipple reduction. I had no desire to go big; I wanted a full B or small C at most.
In the Uber home, I cried-- because something that had caused so much suffering for 30 years was resolved in an operation that took less than three hours. I am now at peace with my decision, extremely grateful to Dr. Kolker and in love with the transformation.

Although I’m happy with the results, I am experiencing boob envy which is odd since I’ve always thought it would be enough for me to have the shape corrected. They are still very firm to the touch and can feel the edge of the implant; since they are textured form-stable gummy bear implants, they will take months to soften. Recovery wise, things have been very smooth. I forget I have implants most of the time.

My second postop appointment is in a few days. Can’t wait to wear a normal bra, instead of a Victoria Secret’s Knockout Bra! I have adjusted so completely to these breasts I have almost forgotten about what they used to look like. Every time I take off my bra I worry a tiny bit about some complication- capsular contraction or rotation, since I have the teardrop shaped ones— and am relieved to see they are still holding up. I went through this stage of boob envy and am okay with the small size now (only had 215/245 cc).
For those of you with tuberous breasts considering surgery: go for teardrop shaped; they are so natural and work well to fill out volume in the lower pole. I’d advise anyone getting a BA to choose form-stable implants, since the risk of complications is low and if they rupture, the silicone does not leave the shell.
In clothes I don’t look much different than I did before surgery, since I always wore a thickly padded push-up bra. Naked, of course, it’s a different story. I am the only person to see me naked, until the love gods decide to stop playing jokes on me, so it hasn’t made a dramatic difference in my life. It has removed a lifelong barrier to sexual confidence, but I’m still not the carefree and vivacious person I expected to be once I had “normal” breasts. We don’t just shed our self-perceptions once we change our bodies. Yet fixing the outer has freed me to work on the inner; I can’t blame my breasts anymore for holding me back.