This is what they look like now
I am some pictures i took the other day of how the implants look now. I dont think they look bad at all, but i just want to be me again. I also attached a pic of me bending over and you can see some major rippling going on.
So confused! Decisions are hard!
So i keep wavering back and forth between whether to deflate first or to just go ahead with completely removing them from the get go! Why such a roller coaster of emotions?! I wish I could look into the future and know what the right decision is! I asked the doctors on this website and most of them agreed with my PS about deflating them first, which is why i keep questioning what to do. I totally understand her reasoning and it would save me a surgery if i were to end up being unhappy, but i really do NOT want another implant and would rather explore other options like a lift or fat grafting if i were unhappy with the results. I dont know what to do! And i think my husband is so sick of talking about boobs!
Holy Crap! I have a date and it's in less than 48 hours!
Oh crap! It just got real! Talked to my PS office a little while ago and my doctor can get me in for surgery to remove the implants on Friday morning! Yes, that's less than 48 hours! Im really nervous now! I think with the holidays she is really busy and so if its not this Friday then i would have to wait until after the beginning of the year. I would rather get it over and done with and be on the road to recovery, but wow it is happening so fast and of course the roller coaster of emotions is setting in! She said i would have to get drains put in, which kinda sucks, but oh well. I guess i would rather that then the fluid accumulating in the pocket and causing complications. How did you ladies deal with the mixed emotions that develop right before the explant date? I guess its now or never! Gotta just pull the trigger, right?!
Had my Pre-Op
I had my pre-op this afternoon! All went well and they just told me all the normal pre surgery stuff. The doctor believes it will be a very simple procedure with very little recovery so im happy to hear that. Im nervous, excited, but overall ready to get this done and be on the road back to my real self again. Im so nervous about the outcome and how they are going to look. I hope i can mentally stay strong for a couple of weeks while they heal. Im sure that is the hardest part! And thats why im so thankful i found all you guys! Will keep you girls posted on everything!
5 Dec 2014
Day of treatment
Well, they're out and so far so good. Im a little sore around my incision but nothing unbearable. Nowhere near the pain when i got them in. I have looked down at them in my bra and they are quite flat. It will take some getting used to, but i dont feel any regret at the moment. I have to be honest though, i am a little afraid to take my bra off and look at them! Im scared that i might have an emotional breakdown if i see them all wrinkled and sagging and shriveled! Wish i could just fast forward a couple of weeks. I will try to take some pictures soon so you guys can see the progress.
1 day post op
Here are some pics from this morning after I took the drains out. I'm definitely flat but I think I look ok without the implants. I'm still sore but not too bad. I was able to bring my son to get pictures with Santa and then I had a baby shower to go to so overall I'm feeling pretty good. Will try to post some pictures without my bra on so yall can see everything.
1 day post op without a bra
Here are some better pictures without the bra on. You can obviously see that I look deflated and sunken in but im very confident that the tissue and skin will retract nicely. Fingers crossed!! And excuse the black sharpie marks that the doctor made pre-surgery.
Day 3, virtually pain free
So we are on day 3 post explant and I'm feeling pretty good emotionally. I'm still getting used to my new body but overall I am liking my new look. Not loving it naked yet bc my breasts still have a lot of retracting and tightening to do (hopefully!), but I'm just really happy being completely real again. It's funny bc I don't feel weird like I thought I would...I just feel like myself. Even after 12 years of having implants I still mentally felt like I was the girl with small boobs. Although as soon as I tried on clothes I was reminded that I was NOT the girl with small boobs. I even have some cute bralettes that I bought a few years ago thinking they would look sexy and instead they looked hoochie! I attached some pics of me wearing those bralettes today and I think they look really cute!
I am a little nervous to go around people that I see a lot but who don't know me too personally, (ie. the gym, or restaurants that my husband and I go to a lot) bc I hate having a lot of attention on me and of course in my paranoid head I feel like everyone will look at me and go, "holy shit! Where did her boobs go?!" Does anyone else feel that way?? I just don't want people to judge and compare my before body with implants to my current body now. I think women will be supportive but I feel like the men will be more negative. And not like I should care bc I'm happily married, but I still want to feel like I look sexy, ya know?! All of my friends and family know I got them removed but it's kinda awkward to just come out and tell an acquaintance.
1 week post op
Well it's been a week! I'm still feeling pretty good. Got some stitches out on Wednesday(have to go back Monday to get more out) and have been a little more sore around the incisions since then. I still have kind of an indentation/dip in the upper part of my breasts and I'm hoping that will tighten in time once the pocket closes. It's hard to see the indentation that I'm talking about in pictures, but I tried to get a shot of it. Other than that I feel like there might have been some/very tiny bit of fluffing, but that could just be my hopeful perception. In the meantime I will be wearing my padded sports bras from target when I need to go out in public.
It didn't post the pictures!
lets try this again..it didn't upload my pictures
A big THANK Y'ALL
(And im from New Orleans, so "y'all" is totally a word down here!)
But anyway, i really wanted to take the time to give every single one of you girls another big thank you! The support and encouragement from all of you really is priceless and it helps so much as we all go through this emotional roller coaster of a decision, but especially after the explant is done and while we are healing. At the end of the day, we have new bodies that we have to get used to and gain confidence with and to have you girls is the best thing i could've ever asked for. I really believe i would still be sitting here with implants(or worse, had them replaced) if i hadn't found this site and the girls on here who have been so candid and open with their stories AND pictures! So thanks to everyone! You girls have no idea how much better and happier y'all have made my life because i was strong enough to make and stick with the decision to explant because of your words of encouragement and support. I didnt even need to receive the words personally...just reading the encouragement you guys gave each other is what made me feel brave enough to make my final decision. I hope that any girls even slightly contemplating removing their implants stumble upon this website like i did and can find the strength and courage in all of us to just do it!
2 weeks post explant
Well it's been two weeks and I was thinking that there hadnt been much change and then I took some pictures and I think there has been some improvement. Take pictures girls!!! Even if you think nothing has changed, the pictures tell the true story. I am still feeling good. The incisions aren't really sore anymore unless I have a tight sports bra on for too long. Still very happy with my decision to explant. I am enjoying my new body and can't wait for a couple more weeks so I can go bra shopping and stop wearing sports bras all the time.
4 weeks post op
Well it's been 4 weeks and I feel like things continue to improve. I am still happy with my decision to explant and I still like my "new" body. I went to the gym for the first time since explant the other day and I have to admit I was self conscious, but not bc I don't like the way I look; because I felt like everyone who was familiar with me before was just noticing my flat chest! Kinda like when you have a big zit on your face and you think everyone is staring at it and in reality no one even notices!
I am still wearing padded sports right now bc, well, regular bras just don't fit right. It's really weird and hard to describe but the tissue that I have wont "push up". I'm wondering if it has something to do with that pocket and indentation that was left from the implant? I'm hoping given a lot more time that regular bras will fit better. I'm going to wait another 2 weeks and then I want to go to this specialty store in my town that specializes in bra fitting and they have every size under the sun even the crazy ones that you normally only find online. I will let you guys know how that goes and what they end up saying my actual size is. In the meantime here are some pics from today
So its been 5 weeks since surgery and I finally felt like its been long enough and would be ok to look into getting a "real" bra. So i went to a place in my area that specializes in bra fitting and sizing and they carry every size under the sun, even the ones that are only found at online specialty stores. I TOTALLY recommend you girls find a place like this in your area. It is so important to be fitted by a specialist....and Victorias Secret employees are NOT specialists....believe me...i worked there during college and i can promise you that they arent trained in bra fitting. And even if they do fit you properly, if VS doesnt carry your real size then thye will just try to fit you into a size thats close enough, which wont give you the best fit. Theres so much more to your "size" too because breast shapes are all different and you need someone who specializes in this to really find the perfect fit for YOUR breasts! i.e my breasts post implant and breastfeeding are full at the bottom but really empty at the top so i needed someone who could find a bra that worked with that and didnt accentuate my upper pole emptiness.
So anyway...i went to the place in my area (its called Bra Genie...i actually think they do fittings via skype for those girls who dont have any stores like this in their area...so if thats you, check the website out http://thebragenie.com/) and drumroll please.........i am a 30C!! Whaaaaaaaa??!!! I was so shocked. (For reference i was measured at this same store years ago with my implants and i was a 30DD with implants.) Technically i was on the cusp between a 30 B and 30 C but i was trying on both sizes and the bra that i got was a 30C. I would've bet that i was going to be a 30A tops so that just goes to show you that you really need a professional fitting you.
So i just want to share my excitement about my bra fitting and encourage all of you who are having trouble finding a good fitting bra, and even those who arent having trouble, to find a place like this and just get measured by a specialist. You dont have to buy from them, so its really just to find out your real size so you can buy the correct bras.
This is the bra i got in a 30C. I bought it from them but its sold at Nordstrom too. http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/betsey-johnson-forever-perfect-underwire-demi-bra/3764135?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=MINI+STRIPE%2F+RAVEN+BLACK&resultback=449&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_1_B
2 Months Post Op
Wow! Cant believe its been two months already! I know i have been somewhat MIA but i feel like theres not much change to report. I am still very happy with my decision...much happier than i ever thought i would or could be! They are far from perfect but they are mine and i dont have to worry about something fake being in my body anymore or about when the next surgery will be. I am free from implants and it feels great. And ive got some good bras that give me enough shape in my clothes when i want it.