31 Year Old Mom with 12 Year Old Saline Implants. Want to Be my Natural Self Again! New Orleans, LA

Hi Girls! First i want to thank everyone who has shared their stories and pictures on here. It is all of you that have given me the strength to pursue my own explant! I have been unhappy with the size of my impants for quite some time and never even knew explanting them was even an option until a simple google search led me to this website and i found all you girls! I booked my consult with my original plastic surgeon soon after reading your stories and seeing everyones wonderful results on this website! I guess i always thought that your boobs would just be flat pancakes flapping all around...i didnt realize that your skin ans tissue retracts back very much like your stomach does after a pregnancy. My story is pretty similar to most women on here. I was 19, insecure and just wanted big boobs! I am now 31 and have a 10 month old baby and couldnt be more of a different person than i was 12 years ago! From what i remember i wore a 32B before implants and today i wear a 30DD! I am 5' tall and weigh a little less than 100lbs. I have 400 and 420 CC Saline impants under the muscle but i have noticed some major rippling lately(especially after breastfeeding) so im thinking some of that 400 cc volume is not longer there? Not even sure if that can happen, but i am much smaller and saggier now then i have been over the past 12 years. I actually like them now more than i ever have because of the decrease in size and the sagging! They look more natural to me, which is why i think i will be happy with an explant. So anyway, i ahd my consult with my original plastic surgeon yesterday and i wouldnt say that she was overly positive, but she wasnt negative either, just kind of matter of fact. She said she totally understood me wanting to be natural again. She did show me my BA pictures to remind me of what i looked like and i thought that i looked great! Boy i wish i could go back in time and tell my insecure self to just hold on for a few years until i was older, more mature and more confident in myself as a whole person.  Oh well, its a tough and expensive lesson learned. Back to the consult....she suggested that we deflate the implants in the office, wait a few weeks to see what they do and decide at that point if im happy or not. If i want them out she said she could do it under a twilight sedation. We decided we would make a new incision under the breast fold instead of going through my original nipple incision bc i want to breast feed future children and since i produced milk just fine with my son we thought it better not to mess with them anymore. Of course she said if i was not happy we could always replace with a much smaller implant. She could tell that i did not want that option and she certainly didnt push that. I think she was just letting me know every option i had. I understand that she wants to save me a surgery in case i was unhappy with the results, but im a little scared that the deflated implant will hurt or be uncomfortable?? Of course i forgot to ask her about that! I have to wait until Monday to call the lady that handles all the scheduling as she was out until then so i guess i can ask my questions then? My doctor looked at the schedule and thought i could have them deflated as soon as next Thursday or Friday!!! Has anyone ever had their implants deflated and then removed a few weeks later?? Im curious to yalls experience with that. Thanks again girls and i will let you guys know how this journey continues!

I am some pictures i took the other day of how the implants look now. I dont think they look bad at all, but i just want to be me again. I also attached a pic of me bending over and you can see some major rippling going on.

So i keep wavering back and forth between whether to deflate first or to just go ahead with completely removing them from the get go! Why such a roller coaster of emotions?! I wish I could look into the future and know what the right decision is! I asked the doctors on this website and most of them agreed with my PS about deflating them first, which is why i keep questioning what to do. I totally understand her reasoning and it would save me a surgery if i were to end up being unhappy, but i really do NOT want another implant and would rather explore other options like a lift or fat grafting if i were unhappy with the results. I dont know what to do! And i think my husband is so sick of talking about boobs!