Hello, everybody! This seems like a great...
Hello, everybody! This seems like a great community and I'm really happy to be able to finally make a post about my upcoming surgery.
I got saline implants when I was 18 years old. I'd been struggling with my asymmetrical breasts since I developed. My asymmetry was caused by my concave chest (pectus excavatum) and was unlikely to correct itself over time, and because I had amazing insurance and a birth defect, my implants ended up being covered and I just paid a $25 copay. I was very happy with my implants for a few years.
One thing that never changed was that from the start I was massively insecure about the fact that I had "fake" breasts. I remember once my best friend bragged about them to some guy I didn't know, because she honestly thinks they're beautiful and didn't realized I'd be uncomfortable, but it felt like a blow to the stomach to hear they'd been discussing my procedure.
Also, I always found them to be a little physically uncomfortable. I've slept with a bra on for the last 8 years because it felt like they were moving around under my skin if I didn't and it grossed me out so much I couldn't sleep (turns out I have a contracture on the left side, which did cause some of that discomfort.) I always hated touching them because they didn't feel like breasts and, especially on the sides, I could feel the implants inside me. It still repulses me.
I made the decision to get my implants removed last year. I realized I no longer liked the way they looked. Not that my doctor hadn't done a great job, but they look like "fake" breasts to me. I wanted my natural look back, even if that meant they would be uneven. Add in the mental and physical discomfort I'd had since the beginning, it was an easy decision to make.
My pre-op appointment is Tuesday and my surgery is Thursday. While I'm mainly really excited, I'm a little nervous about ending up hating the asymmetry again. But the way I'm thinking about it is that I may never be totally happy with the way my breasts look. I hated them asymmetrical when I was 18, and now I hate them for not looking natural. But without them, I'll be able to sleep on my stomach again, touch my breasts without cringing, and maybe even learn to love my natural shapes. It's definitely what I want.
Wish me luck guys! I'll update Tuesday or Thursday. Friday at the latest! :)
Pre-Op Finished! (Mostly...)
I went in for my pre-op appointment today! My appointment was scheduled for 2 PM, so of course I got called into the office two hours late at 4. I had never seen the waiting room so swamped, they were doing like 8 pre-ops that afternoon and were massively backed up. I have to go back tomorrow morning to do my blood work, because the lab was closing by the time the doctor could see me.
Once we got to the meeting though, it went so well. I'm PMS-ing a little right now, so I was feeling a tad overwhelmed. My doctor apparently considers the work he did on me to be some of his best so he is totally heartbroken I want them out haha. I will say he was very clear that he wouldn't try to talk me out of removing them, if it's really what I wanted. It was kind of sweet how proud he was of his work, but he seemed worried I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
They pulled up pictures of me from before my surgery in 2009, telling me kind of gravely that this is what I would look like again. I braced myself for horrible, insanely disproportionate asymmetry and when the picture popped up on the screen I almost laughed out loud. I couldn't believe how normal I looked when I was 18. Sure, one was slightly smaller, but seriously, how could I have thought I was so deformed? I wish I'd taken a snapshot of the screen to show you guys. I was beautiful! Also, insanely small, so that will take some getting used to haha.
I couldn't keep my smile off my face. I was half laughing, half crying walking to my car (did I mention I'm PMS-ing?) I couldn't contain my happiness. I know I won't look exactly the same as I did 7 years ago, but if it's close I'll be a very lucky woman. I called my (long-distance) boyfriend on my drive home and he noticed right away how relieved I sounded and was insanely supportive. It was a great day, and while I'm still nervous for surgery, I'm getting less nervous about the results. I AM hyper focused on the implants now. I can't believe I lived with them this long. The feel of them under my skin disgusts me, and I can't wait to be rid of them!!!
Funny moment doing my pre-op lab work today!
The admin woman who was signing me in looked up from my paperwork with a big smile and said, "Oh! I'm thinking of getting the same surgery as you!" She was also 25, but had gotten her implants at 21. Hers were actually pretty painful and she missed being natural too. We had a big talk about our reasons for doing it and wanting them out. Then every other nurse I talked to had a great talk with me about getting older and realizing how fleeting some insecurities can be. Everyone was so nice and I left the office beaming.
My surgery is scheduled for 7 AM tomorrow, so I'm getting up at 4! Headed to sleep in the next hour, hopefully. I'm worried I won't sleep a wink! :)
Bye bye, ridiculously uncomfortable plastic sacs in my chest, hello being 32AA again haha.
7 Apr 2016
Day of treatment
It's finished! I had an amazing experience at the hospital. All the staff at Oschner were amazing.
The first thing I said when I woke up was, "I can breathe so much easier!" And started almost crying and the nurse was like, "Yes dear that's nice." Haha. Clearly she's never experienced what we have.
I feel so so good. I'm not in much pain at all. I have drains unfortunately until Monday, but such is life. I'm so happy I don't even care!
At one point in the recovery room I kind of poked the top of my breast, and it was so soft I burst into tears and my mom had to go grab me some tissues. I forgot how natural and beautiful my breasts were.
I'm so happy this is a little all over the place. I'm going to have a little to eat and pass out in the recliner in my living room. I'm so happy!!!!!!
Question about drains!!
7 Apr 2016
Day of treatment
Hey guys, quick question.
I haven't had more than a single drop of fluid come out of ONE my drains all day. I have to call the hospital tomorrow to set up an appointment Monday to get them out. But nothing is really coming out and I hate them. Do you guys think it would be reasonable to ask if they can take them out tomorrow? Anyone else have an experience like this with their surgery?
Kinda sore, but optimistic about drain removal
I spent this morning reading some random posts around here from some women who have had drains and apparently if there's less than 20 ccs fluid collected in the first 24 hours then it's pretty standard to get the drains removed right away. Now I just have to be demanding enough on the phone for them to take time for me to get them out today, because I am not going to be like this all weekend. Give me all of your assertive power ladies! As with breasts tissue, it doesn't come very naturally to me haha.
I got my drains removed! The doctor who did it was so surprised I'd just been in surgery yesterday morning because I was feeling so good and awake.
I feel so light and free! I'll post some picture updates later this week. For now I'm just going to rest up with a big smile on my face.
Almost a week since my surgery and I feel amazing!
I love my new old body, I love breathing freely, I love tiny bras, I love having soft boobs.
I also just started a new job last night! Basically it feels like my whole world is just getting better and better. I'll never regret this surgery in my life. Only you guys understand how amazing it feels not to have these things in my body anymore. It's almost making me tear up again!
Almost two weeks after surgery
Feeling good, looking good :)
About a month and a half since my surgery! Everything has been smooth sailing. I'm going on a beach vacation starting Thursday (where I'll also be meeting up with my LD boyfriend) so I'm finally getting a shot to show off my new old body haha. Thanks again to everyone here. I love this community! I'll probably update again in a few months :)
6 Months Post-Explant!!!
20 Oct 2016
6 months post
Hi everyone! I promised an update and here it is! A lot has been going on in my life, so it took me a while to get to it haha.
I'm still in love with my new-old breasts. I love the feel of them, both to the touch and just the fact that I don't feel anything inside my chest walking around every day. As you can see on right breast, the way Dr. Dupin stitched me back up, the skin got kind of pulled up, so not an absolutely perfect result, but I'm so happy with my natural breasts that I don't really care. My scars are fading really well, without any help from me, I'm not using anything to expedite that process.
I hope all you lovely ladies are doing great, and anyone reading this who is unhappy with their implants, go for the explant if you can. I can't explain how much happier and healthier I feel. At least once a week I still remember how much they obstructed my breathing and I take one big breath because now I can.