(vide0) My Seroma (sung to the tune of My Sharona but slightly off key)

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Ok my background--I had my first child when I was...

Ok my background--I had my first child when I was 17 so as a lot of mom's here said "I never had that sexy young body" That child is now almost 21 yrs old, I am almost 39 and I have had 4 other children since his birth.

I have had the typical weight struggles that most American's have so I am only mentioning it for comradeship since it is pretty obvious from my body that something has happened to it! :D

I want o feel like the sexy Mama I am inside. I am sick of adjusting my nipples so they face the same way--untucking them from my pants when I have no bra on, trying not to lay on my breasts when on my side--you know the story.

My oldest child is paying for the procedure because I am/was such a fantastic Mama :D!

Ok so we are all women here and think the same way--if this was YOUR body what would you do?
Oh my consult for one surgeon is Sept 8th and I am trying to get more appointments in early September after my youngest ones go to school. My surgery will be in early October so I can be BANGIN BABY by the hubby's work Xmas party.

I am very physically active and fit and have a lot more muscle than most women do. I am 5'9 and in these pictures I was 185--i am now 178 and want to be as lean as possible by October so they are removing the most stubborn areas from me. (from my body that is, all other stubborn areas like kids and hubby get to stay)

Here are my list of wants for my mommy makeover--
Lipo flanks and back to shape the booooooty
and some facial rejuv so people think I look like angels kissed my cheeks while I recover from surgery.
Maybe if I can afford it, that chicken neck fat can go too!

So--thoughts? I want to do a nice full spilling over D cup.

Ok so I have a consult on Wednesday--anything...

Ok so I have a consult on Wednesday--anything specific you think I should ask aside from the usual WAVE A WAND AND REPAIR ME!!

Consult today--i am nervous. I am not going to get...

Consult today--i am nervous. I am not going to get my breasts done unless there is no T scar, inverted T scar etc. I personally am not doing the breasts to look better in clothing, that is what bras and cotton padding and ace bandages and gorilla tape are for. i want to look good naked, and a scar is the same as what nature really has done to them anyway.

So, if the doctors cannot do a lift with the girls remaining "new scar" free then I will have more time/money to lipo sculpture my BEHIND! I wanted a bazillion butt augmentation--being a Jew I want a more "ethnic" butt than what I have. However, no one around here does that.

See--nervous--ramble ramble.

Ok so I need to upload all new pictures because...

Ok so I need to upload all new pictures because after meeting with the PS we have a new method of attack. It is funny picturing your own body completed when talking to the doctor. I have had this body of mine for as long as I can remember--I met my stretch marks during puberty. We go way back.
Speaking of back--I think I will be the only Mama here having MOST of her changes done to her back. :D
He will be doing lipo on all the fat you see in my black and white picture. He is going to shape my hips to actually match my back and butt. He will be lipoing some fat you cannot see because my arms are up. I have a lot of loose skin on my back even--wth!? I loved Wendy's burgers and this is the reward I shall now reap!
He is looking at performing a high definition type of tummy tuck because he said I have GREAT abs, solid, no separation at all---just skin! I will have a 6 pack to show he said---hello! Even if I only end up with a 4 pack, that still makes me look cool when I get to the party! he is also going to suck a tad bit from my upper thigh to make my butt more of a bubble--yeah baby! I am a Jew who will finally have an ethnic booty! (finally??)
I also have breast tissue in my arm pit. (see I need to do more pictures!)
So--I edited the pics to show where they will cut and what they will remove--the arrows indicate lipo--I am sorry they look like sperm--well a little sorry and a little amused, honestly.

Oh and as for breasts--I am not getting them done--at all. (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) I have my own reasons of course, and would hate to offend ANYONE so I won't step on a soap box and go on and on about the T incision. However, I am not getting them. I am bummed a little but that does NOT over shadow a new backside!

oh and HELLO how fast will surgery and recovery be!?! Suck some fat, snip some skin slap my new firm toosh and send me on my way!
Oh and it will not be till November which gives me more time to work on my Calypso dance moves!!

Any questions? I wrote this with only 3 sips of coffee in me but with the excitement of being photographed in the nude from the day before still fueling me on!



I am emailing this picture to the PS!
This is the most fun "shopping" online that I have ever had! :D!!

Ok I have lost more weight so I think I am saving...

ok I have lost more weight so I think I am saving some moola on the hip sucking--word!! It is amazing how much 4lbs can look on the body--on or off!

So--I decided I do want to consider new tatas--i just can't get over the idea of thinking I can live with the small scar and I think I will want them later---I cannot wander into my 40's with firm breast envy--it is not good for the whole morale of the family to have me stare longing at breast implanted women--my husband gets the complete wrong idea ;-)

Dear MJ385 of the future--it is I (me?) MJ385 of...

Dear MJ385 of the future--it is I (me?) MJ385 of your past. I am writing to you to remind you of the "Why did I do this!?!" part of the recovery process.

Before I get into the details I just want to say High-five for not dying during surgery!!

Just today while in the shower when I was shaving my legs and trimming the naughty bits I pulled my skin tight on my lower belly--to try and simulate what I would look like after it was all said and done. Wow-I just cannot wait!! I can't. I have imagined even cutting off this part of my belly myself. Not literally of course--or else I would have done it by now :D. I hate this FUPA thing that the doctors call my "skin apron". Ok--a skin apron? What the hell is that? The only person I would think that would be ok with having their body have it's very own apron made of skin would be perhaps, Buffalo Bill. I am not a warped serial killer--I do not want an apron made of skin.

What I want is to not have to make sure that my shirt covers that weird roll on my otherwise flat stomach. I see that roll when I look down and I know it represents this puddle of congealed fat and skin and stretch marks-- that is all. It does not represent motherhood to me--my husband tells me it does. Uh--no, Cowboy, it does not.

I cannot wait to wear something that shows a shape that I work so hard for in the gym and in my diet. I work hard to look good. I skip the desserts, I count the calories--nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels is the mantra. I know some disagree and that is there path and this is my path. I look so forward to all this work being shown when they cut off the skin and remove the fat that I am sick of trying to starve the hell off my hips!

This is why you did this MJ385 of the future. To finally be done with the baby making body of my past. I am taking a turn for myself now and it is SO OK MAMA! Who cares if you can't do your own laundry for a few weeks! You'll be able to bend down without trying to cower in a shadow and cover the puddles of skin that ripple and hang off me now like the skin hangs off my bulldogs face! Heh,bulldog belly--it's a disease of motherhood! :-)

Would you or would you not do ANYTHING to have that flat tummy--shallow? No--it is my body and my want. You just have to endure the dust, perhaps even dog hair on the floor. I am still not sure how I can go a week not polishing my new wood floors but I know I have to DEAL! Because, OMG, the dress Imma wear at the company Xmas party this year!! I will wear a pair of Iron Fist pumps and a slinky fun and fitting dress--hell yeah I will!

I did this because it needed to be done and the small amount of downtime is nothing compared to the dysfunctional 20 yr relationship I have had with that b*tch the "Skin Apron".

I did this because it was OK to do for myself. I am grateful to my son for the amazing gift and I will remain grateful each moment of recovery...right?!? It is difficult to feel sorry for yourself when you are just so very grateful to be there--healing from a tummy tuck!! HUH!! Never would I have imagined--I finally get to just be done!! So suck it up cry baby--you are grateful!!

OK so I am going in October to see another PS for...

OK so I am going in October to see another PS for a consult. He does not have a hospital stay program but he has more to offer I think in way of price for surgery--dunno--just guessing--ok hoping?

I am so excited--I got a bra on clearance at target--it is in the pictures of the bread dough belly I added today. The leaner I get the looser the skin gets so the less I will have after my metamorphism into MILF status--anywhooooo the bra adds 2 cup sizes--ok people stare at me when I wear it so perhaps a bit smaller or a new career consideration knowwhatimasayinhere??

So I am adding the loose skin pics so I can look back on those pictures fondly. (cough gag) Oh my now 18 yr old, he asked if they could save the belly for him--when he was a little boy he would rub my tummy and tell me how much he "loves your squishy tummy Mommy" so --I may look into making him a pillow with it--KIDDING!!! Did you believe me? Gross. :D

Oh...my...gaaaaawd!! I am booked--i am in--i am...

oh...my...gaaaaawd!! I am booked--i am in--i am going into the cocoon November 10th and emerging November 11th as a butterfly! SHUT UP!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!
For those at home keeping count--that is just 44 days from today. Well, technically, just 43.5 days from now.

I will be set free from the skin suit which is TOO BIG for me. I am a much smaller woman under this skin--WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!!

So, I am also getting some Radiesse for the face--smile and under the eye bags--i am coming out of there at 29 or I am not leaving!

Oh and for those following the saga of the tatas--they want $10k for the breasts--so I am going to pass on that. I can get those amazing cup enhancing bras like the one I got at Targette (heh, heh) for $3--when i wear that sexy thang--wow--i feel like a Hollywood stripper (it is a good feeling to me in case that analogy was lost on you)

My whole family was here this weekend--I kept pulling on my skin and showing my oldest son and his wife how much skin they are removing from me. It was nice to hear them all say it is just skin and no fat. YEAH BABY!! Anyway, my son said he is doing the surgery for me because I earned it--he said you earned it by:
"Mom can I have a drink pleeeeeease??"
"Mom!! HELP!!"
"I hate this food! Why don't you make food I like!?!?"
He went on and of course I was all farklempt--he is so sweet!!

Oh--I have of course been researching and obsessing and wanted to know if anyone heard anything about "releasing the crease" when doing liposuction on the back fat? (I HATE BACK FAT!! I AM NOT A SLAB OF BACON!)

44 days------tick tock tick tock

My pre op appointment is LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY...

my pre op appointment is LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY NOW!!!!!!

Ok did anyone lose weight before the surgery? I saw some cross fitters on here--I am doing I.F. but right now want to switch to maintenance so I have enough nutrients plus I need to leave fat for the man to sick out! Tho-they will be doing lipo even if i want in there skin and bones--suck out the empty fat cells please..I never want them again!

OMG ONE MONTH!!! I have exactly 39 days left.....

It is in less than 16 days from today--I cannot...

it is in less than 16 days from today--I cannot post in here because I am so excited that I want to punch people in the face and throw up. (I have anxiety issues I think)

so, my fears right now are it won't look any different than it does right now. WTH?

I am taking 4G vitamin C, 10,000 IUI D, Calcium, Zinc, Magnesium, I stopped smoking the crack pipe as well as Aleve. There was a bunch more stuff I wanted to add but I seem to have forgotten it now. Oh, I did buy antibacterial soap for dry sensitive skin (red head).....hhmm, plastic bed sheet thing to protect that memory foam from the lipo seepage--that is not the memory it needs to keep~




Ok so some final thoughts. It is exactly 12 hours...

ok so some final thoughts. It is exactly 12 hours now till my surgery begins. I am going in at 8:30 to be scribbled on, weighed and drugged.

I was in the bathroom tonight looking at my belly--at the large thick stretch marks on the lower part of my abdomen. I was looking at how they stretch out wide--over an inch wide in some places even. Then they finger out and up and thin out. I have had many bruises on them in the past couple of decades. Carrying kids on hips, pushing furniture, throwing Atlas stones and flipping giant tires. My stretch marks go up past my belly button quite a way--stopping at my sternum really. Stopping there because that was where the baby grew--each one of them. All 5 of them.

My first born is paying for this surgery--his stretch marks are the ones all below the belly button. His brother was the one who stretched and extended them past the belly button. it is funny because I remember thinking during my first pregnancy that I came away unscathed with the stretch marks till my sweet sweet baby was born and I saw "what lies below". i didn't care--I was 17 and had the most amazing gift for them. I felt the same when the stretch marks began to web across my abdomen and hips when I carried my second son. My third son--this was his only home. He passed away when he was 4 days over due--tucked behind the webbed wall of my tummy.

My 4th pregnancy was my miracle little girl, who was 3 weeks early and 23" tall and a beautiful 9lbs 8ounces. She was the one who thickened and widened the stretch marks--making sure she had enough room to grow her beautiful strong legs! My 5th child and my last is my sweet baby girl--who will be 8 soon! She came so quickly after her sister that she needed nothing to be stretched--the siblings before her made sure she had plenty of room.

Tonight when I was looking at those markings they tell me my own story. They are the map I followed getting out of my terrible past and into my beautiful life now. *sigh* This is the end to all of the "schtuff" and I am ready.

I am ready.

Home now. 3lbs of skin and 2 lbs fat. He did have...

Home now. 3lbs of skin and 2 lbs fat. He did have to tighten the facia about one inch. I'm so swollen I swish lol.
High as a kite. Here are a couple pictures.

I look amazing. Not sure how to do pictures on my...

I look amazing. Not sure how to do pictures on my phone.
Pain is tolerable unless I move in such a way that it makes me tense my ab muscles.
Omg gas though! Ouch!

Ok day 3 po. Last night was really hard for an...

ok day 3 po. Last night was really hard for an hour or two. I wanted to let go of the pain meds but I was not ready to do that...clearly. So, I got a little behind the pain--level 7 to an 8 till the percs took over. OOPS.

Today I feel great. I have been taking magnesium since 12 hours post op..it worked beautifully because going poop was a non-issue---take magnesium!

I can sit up and stand up today...I feel so good this morning that I need to remind myself to calm the hell down. I am walking all fast down the hall while singing loudly "Everyday I'm shuffling".

I took one pain pill this morning and will take only one more in 6-8 hours. Dang there was more advice....what was it.

OH warm water bottle--NOT heating pad--warm water bottle and circular (clock wise) gentle massage on the tummy helps those drains fill up.

I have been taking Opti-Recovery which is an herbal formula for healing. I have had Reiki done a few times as well.

All in all feel great at 3 days post-op.
Here is my 3 day belly.

More pictures because it is the main reason I...

more pictures because it is the main reason I surfed this site anyway--no perv more like window shopping :D

So, I feel great today STILL. Anyone else do the massages on the tummy to help the lymph fluids etc? I keep doing it when I am swollen and it is great---very soothing too.

So, we took off the binder a second time today and I got to stand when we did it. OMG!!! WOW! I am SO SEXY but incredibly bruised. So--yanno--if you are into that--look no further LOL

I love that I get to keep my stretch marks (some of them anyway) and I love how the scar will even look!

My people keep forcing the pain meds on me--I am just thinking I am an annoying person to be around or something. I HATE opiate based meds tho--honestly, how do people live addicted to this feeling? It makes me feel like my skin wants to be flayed off to get rid of the itching.

I am too scared to shower. I tried to take a shower in the hospital and they had left me alone to do it. So, when I had taken off the binder and tried to sit I almost collapsed--I peed on the pile of towels they gave me and everything. It was so awful--I was sweating, trying to breathe, terrified I would throw up etc. My nurse did not know the aide left me alone--she was displeased. I had to even be wheeled back to my room because I was so sore and worn out from the 2 minutes alone like that.

I may try to shower tomorrow...... maybe. I can't smell that bad laying around all day can I? My cat does that and she smells like a wood pile. :D

Ok so the latest picture is of my thighs, the back side just below my newly shaped badonkadonk. Ladies if you have not had lipo yet, I want to admit right here, for me, it hurts as much as it looks like it does. It is far worse than the bruises the private school rod gave me even! All so worth it in the end....get it? GET IT??

ahh the puns just can't stop--well maybe when they stop forcing pills on me they will stop LOL

Dear Diary: Day 4 in captivity. I stopped...

Dear Diary:

Day 4 in captivity. I stopped swallowing the narcotics they keep bringing to me. I will stock pile them to use for currency to get out of here. (kidding THAT IS ILLEGAL!)

Swelling is down to almost nil in my tummy--I think-if it got any smaller I would become a poster child for hungry white people. I am working on making sure I eat. Had some of our fresh eggs scrambled this morning. Fresh organic eggs from the backyard tastes so great! (ok from our chickens in the back yard--I should be more clear)

Drains are still doin' what they do. I am still doing the tummy massage and of course bed rest. bed rest bed rest bed rest.

The lipo bruising SWEET MARY OUCH! Coughing OUCH. Laughing OUCH. How good I look OUCHIE WOWA! :D My butt looks HUGE--love it. I will be the new Kardashian!

Oh I went into surgery at 172--the removal of my apron was 5lbs total...not sure what he sucked out with lipo. I weighed 172 this morning. OK--RIDICULOUS! If I go below 165 I will need to add some more muscle to compensate..I am not a little girl and do not want to be one :D

I will add pics of today after the shower later.

Ok End of day 4--big excitement today was the damn...

Ok End of day 4--big excitement today was the damn coughing. I knew I should not have tried the cigar but it is just so hard to resist. Alright, no cigar-I guess it is residual phlegm from the throat tube thingy. (I took pain meds a little while ago--sorry)So--anyway--the cough. Pain scale 1-10..it was an 11. My son says there can't be an 11 and frankly I agree. I wanted to cry like a small child and wait for someone to pick me up. It was agony. I HATED IT--so back on the pain pills because it hurt me all day after.

I added a day 4 photo of my KILLER external obliques!!!

Ok went to the doctor on day 6-(yesterday for you...

Ok went to the doctor on day 6-(yesterday for you kids watching at home) He left the drains in because they are busy doing their jobs. Ok cool note here--when I was in the hospital I was kinda bummed with the incision not really being far back into my hip area...however with swelling down significantly I can see he did almost go to the back of my hip area--I can tell because of the drain placements slowly moving farther back.

How the hell do you people who have the drains in their pubic mound even cope!?!

He was thrilled with my results so far--amazed at my waist blah blah. I was also given a SIZE SMALL BINDER!!! HELLO!!!?? A SIZE SMALL !!

I go back on Friday to see if they can take the drains out yet. They only bother me at night when I want to roll over.

Oh coughed again last night--I respect the c-section ladies more...however, when we cough after muscle repair surgery it pulls from the pubic bone to the diaphragm...I can almost picture the corset stitches flexing and pulling as I cough. The ONLY reason why I coughed both times was because of the bruising or whatever in my throat from breathing tube down the throat thing (medical term unknown at this time because--well I forgot it) for surgery.

So, day 6 summary--coughing sucks a lot. Size small binder because I am the INCREDIBLE SHRINKING WOMAN! drains still in but I do not care.

Oh wait, anyone have restless legs? OMG it is driving me nuts! I went to bed last night and my legs were like..."you sure you want to sleep because I would prefer running--wanna run? Let's run in bed!! "

Ok ladies--I am doing SOMETHING wrong!! I do...

ok ladies--I am doing SOMETHING wrong!!

I do not hate the drains--everyone said I would. I have very little fluid swelling tonight--I thought I was suppose to be a bloated corpse Zombie every night.

I am on day 7....wait till you see my day 7 pictures!!! (KNOCK ON WOOD!)

Check them out!

oh but the lipo on the hips and back etc hurts like hell fire under my numb skin. What a weird sensation to be numb on the surface and have hot burning lava pain under the skin.

Quick update:drains are out However I do have an...

Quick update:drains are out However I do have an infection. That explains why that hip bruise thing hurts so much!
So 2000 mg of antibiotic for the next 10 days.
I still look fabulous! ;)

Day 11 now. I am still swollen of course--and I...

Day 11 now.

I am still swollen of course--and I went from a 34" waist to a now 29" waist....and it will be even smaller!! HOLY CRAP!!

I spent the day in bed napping etc because my swelling has been significant since the drains came out plus still have the infection.

Appetite comes and goes but I am holing my weight at 172 which is what it was when I went into surgery. So--whatever LOL

Nothing too new to report otherwise than I AM TIRED! :D

Here is an updated pic of me from day 9---with clothes on and OMG MY FACE!! kinda...

Ok holiday has happened. I ate..and I am done...

ok holiday has happened. I ate..and I am done eating. :D

Here are a front and back view---I should do a side view because my butt is NOT that small! LOL

I feel good--too good probably. The lipo bruises are going away on the surface and the deep tissue bruises have feeling in them now--which hurts. I have a lot of little hard bumps that I have been massaging in the shower to try and break them up. My infected side is still a bit open but the antibiotics are doing the trick for sure.

Mama wants tiny clothes for the upcoming holidays!!

Ok I need to do new pictures but my update is.....

Ok I need to do new pictures but my update is...
Infection is healing fine, had my sutures out today--my doctor said my figure is what "hty ecall" a wasp figure...he means the insect clearly....BZZZZZZZZ bitches! LOL

Oh and had a seroma, and he drained it--I guess it would be like an amnio only not as scary and hardly painful at all. I think he took about 5 ounces of lymph and blood out of the tummy.

oh that and I LOOK AMAZING!!!
that is all :D

Ok I am 18 days PO. I am adding pics of my...

Ok I am 18 days PO. I am adding pics of my slightly swollen belly--or incredibly swollen depending on who you ask. As well as a video of my seroma(s) I had it drained yesterday and will most likely need it drained again. I told my son via voice to text "It it is statically plaza bowl, it will happen to me." Apparently my phone has a foreign influence--Czech to be exact(funny story)I was not being a neener-poop or anything, more..a hypochondriac--true story!

Ok so here are 2 fuzzy navel pictures (literally--ahh I can't stop them!) an an attempt to share a video.

The whole office is warm and compassionate, encouraging and informative.

5 out of 5 stars Overall rating
5 out of 5 stars Doctor's bedside manner
5 out of 5 stars Answered my questions
5 out of 5 stars After care follow-up
5 out of 5 stars Time spent with me
5 out of 5 stars Phone or email responsiveness
5 out of 5 stars Staff professionalism & courtesy
5 out of 5 stars Payment process
5 out of 5 stars Wait times
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