1 Year Post Op With Pics
I have never felt comfortable in my body....
I have never felt comfortable in my body. Throughout high school, I suffered from depression and, as a result, was somewhat overweight (at 5'2, I reached 165 at my heaviest). I made excuses not to go to the beach with friends and hid my body underneath bulky t-shirts.
Shortly after my (now) husband and I began dating at 19, the extra weight started coming off and when we moved in together, I got down to about 127. At the time, our lives were filled with wedding planning and working and college-- needless to say, I didn't make time to work out so although I was relatively happy with my weight, I felt flabby because I didn't do anything to tone.
Fast-forward a couple of years-- we married at 21 and had our first child at 22. My pre-pregnancy weight was 125. The day I delivered my eight-pound wonder, I weighed 189. I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight at six weeks, and my breasts were the largest and fullest they had been in my life, thanks to nursing! When our oldest son was nine months old, we conceived our second child. Again, my pre-pregnancy weight was 125; the day I delivered I weighed 192. After my first pregnancy, I had considerable stretch marks but my skin seemed to bounce back relatively well in the short time between my pregnancies. That being said, my second beautiful baby boy was 10 pounds, 2 ounces. There's no bouncing back from that, friends.
In the time since my youngest (now three-year-old) son was born, I have gotten serious about health and fitness. I work out almost daily, generally switching between Crossfit and Pilates. Not only am I at my lowest weight-- 122-- I am in the absolute best shape of my life. Unfortunately, nursing my sweet boys for a little over a year each has left my small (but once-perky) breasts deflated. I don't even fill an A cup any longer. Additionally, no matter how much work I do on my abs, I cannot get rid of the pooch around my belly button. The skin just hangs there. I do not leave my house without wearing Spanxx (I love them. My husband hates them).
Lastly, I have never been so happy in my entire life. My husband and I are still madly in love. I graduated with my Master's degree last year with a 3.8 GPA. My little boys are growing into absolutely amazing little people. I sincerely feel like this procedure is my "missing piece." I want to feel as confident and happy on the outside as I do on the inside.
I went for a consultation on January 16th and immediately knew the surgeon I met with would be the one to perform my procedures. He made me feel at ease throughout my exam. His credentials are amazing. I know a couple of his former patients, both of whom have had nothing but great things to say-- his work is phenomenal. I have since had several appointments with the cosmetic consultant to try on implant sizes because I was going back and forth between 371 ccs and 397ccs. I was worried the 397s would look too large on my frame, but have since decided definitively on the 397s since I'll lose around 25ccs by going under the muscle. The 397s were also my surgeon's choice given my measurements and the fact that he has "never had a woman say she wishes she had gone smaller, but many women say they wish they had gone bigger."
What a roller coaster this has been! While I am ridiculously excited, there have been times over the last couple of weeks where I have wondered if I am making the right decision. It has certainly been an emotional process, and I am so lucky to have the support from my husband. I'm not telling many people in my life, and the ones I've told have not had the reactions for which I was hoping. I have been lurking on this forum almost nightly, searching for women with similar stories, similar statistics-- and I can honestly say that it has been so reassuring! I am now confident in my decision and ready to emerge on the other side of this surgery!
Thank you for allowing me to share my journey!
Replies (1)
With just under two weeks left until surgery, my...
That said, anxiety is starting to set in! While I am comfortable with and excited about the surgeon I chose, I keep thinking about how I am going to let this man cut me in half, a man whom I have only met a handful of times. I know I’m as familiar with him as I am with any of my other doctors, but the thought of it is still slightly unnerving.
I’m thinking a lot about the final result and praying that I will be happy with my body on the other side of this experience! I’m also thinking a lot about recovery. I have read so many reviews on Real Self and have found such an array of experiences that now I’m not entirely sure what to expect. I see that some women undergoing the same two procedures as myself—TT and BA—are doing a light workout at three weeks post op while other women have reported not being able to stand straight until nearly four weeks post op! I don’t want to rush the healing process; I understand my body is about to undergo a major surgery and will need adequate time to recover… I just wish I had an idea of how I personally will heal from this—which, of course, no one can answer for me because it’s just a matter of taking it day-by-day after surgery. I have two small boys—ages 3 and 4—and my husband will only be home with me for the first ten days. I thought that was plenty of time, but now I’m getting nervous.
At my pre-op this past Thursday, my surgeon said he will be taking the compression garment off of my breasts at 2 days post-op and from that time forward he encourages me to wear a bra with no underwire. I’ve been researching a lot online about bras women have used, some with zippers, some with clips in the front. To ladies having had an augmentation as part of their mommy makeover, what was your favorite bra to wear post-op?
I am planning to add more pre-op pictures; I just have to work up some courage!
Replies (6)
So here I sit, just one week until surgery. I...
Whose standard of beauty am I trying to live up to? Society’s? My own?
Am I less of a feminist for having these procedures done? Less of a person?
Professionally, will I be taken seriously if I have a small waistline and big boobs? Will I look “done?” Will men (and women?) take me seriously in a professional setting?
I feel guilty for spending such a substantial amount of money on myself. Neither my husband nor my children benefit from this expenditure; at times the guilt is so consuming. I constantly think about what else we could do with the money being spent on my procedure.
Am I being vain / selfish?
I feel guilty for changing my boys’ lives for a few weeks. As an at-home mother, I am their primary caretaker, and I am worried about how they will adapt to the changes in our household.
I feel guilty that my husband will have to pick up the slack that I leave while I’m recovering.
I feel embarrassed that I am resorting to a surgical procedure to alter my appearance.
I am scared that the outcome will not be what I expect. I just want to feel at home in my body. What if I’m still unhappy?
Will my boys ever find out and if they do, what will they think?
I worry about extreme complications wherein my quality of life is compromised—debilitation, possible death?
All of that being said, every time I log into RealSelf and look at before and after pictures of women whose figures resemble mine, I get a boost of confidence in my decision. My husband is also very reassuring, though I know he’s starting to experience some anxiety as well—primarily, he’s worried about my health and safety.
For the last two weeks or so, in every one of my dreams I look how I imagine I’ll look after the TT and BA. Oddly enough, not one of my dreams has been about my procedure; they’ve been about things that I would normally dream about, but my appearance is altered. I feel like I’ve already made the leap subconsciously which gives me a calming, almost serene feeling when I wake up in the morning. Throughout the day, though, when I let my mind head into overdrive, I start to feel like it spins out of control.
I sincerely hope that on the other side of this process, I finally have the confidence—physically—that I have never had. I have a lot to offer this world personally, emotionally, spiritually, and professionally; I want that to reflect in my appearance. I want to feel “at home” in myself.
Replies (10)
I love that you and your husband are still madly in love and that you're able to do this for yourself. Thank you for starting your story on RealSelf!
Here's a list of supplies you might need for recovery.
And here's a great post from Blonde in Bluffton about her first three days post op.