38 Yr Old, 2 Children, 370CC, One Year Later Having Explant, No Lift, Submusclar - New Brunswick, Canada

At 17 I had a breast reduction, I was a DD (or...

At 17 I had a breast reduction, I was a DD (or bigger) and always had pain. I went to a C and loved them. Two children later, nursing both, they deflated to an A, and over the years they didn’t even fit in an A cup. I wanted a BA for years, saved money, would literally cry when I looked in the mirror at the tiny deflated saggy breasts that resembled two golf balls in socks. I was always perplexed that something so small could still sag, but they did. I went for a BA consultation in 2012, then shelved it for a year. A 15lbs weight loss and a new healthy lifestyle was what resulted in my new AA’s and I went back in Dec 2013 and booked my BA for May 2014. I originally chose 330cc but on the advice of everyone who saw them, all said, “go bigger, you will regret the smaller ones”. So I decided on 370cc, cohesive gel, under the muscle. I had no real breast tissue to speak of and over was not really an option.

The first 8weeks I loved how they looked. I had cleavage for the first time, they looked great with or without a bra. Then they settled and with a 10lbs weight gain, they ballooned. I want them removed for so many reasons, it’s hard to put them all here but they hurt, all the time. I have to wear a bra 24/7, they are so heavy, I have more stretch marks now (which scares me because of how much more they will sag after the removal), I am even more embarrassed to be naked because they are so huge and so heavy and although the PS removed some excess skin, I still have a flat spot on my left breast and even now with these huge implants still have excess skin that sags. My left side pocket seems too large, they move around and are so uncomfortable, especially laying on my back, they slide and slosh around. It hurts to hug people, to exercise (which I love to do and this is very upsetting to me). My chest has broken out since I’ve had them put in, which I googled and seems that others have this experience. I have had numerous appts with my PS, telling him all of this and the esthetically they are not at all what I expected. I went from small saggy breasts to large painful saggy breasts. AT first he said I was not a good candidate for a lift because my nipples were perfectly placed due to the reduction but now, months later says he would do it. I have no desire to be hacked again, an anchor shape, then around my nipples. He says I will NOT like the result of removing them and I know it will be a shock and I will cry at the sight of them but I want these heavy balls removed. I will learn to love my small, soft, saggy and PAINFREE breasts. I will be requesting a May date for removal.

One question though, does anyone who makes the decision to explant feel they might be making a mistake? Some pictures I look at myself and think, they look pretty good, then others, they are so huge and look painful (which they are). Maybe I feel that way because I think of how much it costs and spending that money was a waste, then I feel how could I have been so wrong, after wanting them for over 10years. It wasn’t an impulsive decision. I have to remind myself that having great looking breasts in clothing doesn’t make define me. Because really, that’s about the only time they look good. I can’t stand looking at myself naked, they are so big, so heavy, like udders. I do struggle with the cost of both surgeries, what I could have done with that money, and only a year later spending more to go back to where I was, maybe worse looking. I have to tell myself it was a life lesson, albeit an expensive one, but one nonetheless.

I have found this site to be so supportive and comforting, I thought when I began feeling like I made a mistake that I was the only one. But reading the stories here, I know I’m not and that I can do this and learn to love whatever the outcome is. I have no naked pre BA photos, so you can’t see the sagginess I speak of, but they were very shriveled and saggy, very small (as you can see in the tank photo).

Adding pics

Pics after BA

Last and final consult booked

I've booked my last consult for April 16th. I really hope to have the out in May, I would ask for April but we have a trip booked out of country mid april and I fear infection or issues being away from home. Since they are being removed in his office, I hope he can literally fit me in within days.

Should I try to book earlier?

Ladies, here's my dilemma. I am a photographer and I'm shooting a 10 hr day on the 4th of April, which is close to 10hrs on my feet, moving around, arms over my head etc. If if if, my PS could do the removal say March 27th, would a week be enough time to get back to work? My next dilemma is that we are travelling south for a week beginning April 20th-27th. Would a removal on the 11th (I think he only does Friday surgeries) be cutting it too short for a trip 9 days later? When do stitches come out? That's why I thought May would be the best month but last night I had another reminder as to why I want these toxic bags out of me. My husband and I were being intimate and after barely touching them, a shooting pain (which has never happened) went from my nipple right up my inner left breast and it hurt to the point that I actually cried. It was a pain that I cannot really describe. It was horrible. And also, I'd love to be implant free for my bikini's for our trip. Thoughts?

Looks like I will have these longer than I'd hoped...

I spoke with a few PS's today and all are booked or not in the office. I'm very down about this news. I wanted so badly to have these toxic painful balls out asap. Feeling very down that I will possibly be on vacation and then some with these.

Explant date booked!!!

Just heard back from the PS and April 10th is booked!!! I'm so thrilled, I'll be myself for my vacation! Looking forward to this!

Health issues - taking a poll to see I'm crazy

All you lovely ladies out there, I'd like to take a poll, to see if it's all in my head or not so here are some things I've noticed since I've implanted.
-inability to lose weight (the 10-15lbs I gained after surgery would have been gone by now based on how healthy I'm eating and working out)
-disrupted sleep
-upper back pain
-numbness in fingers and toes
-tingling in feet

I don't recall most of these last year, anyone else out there have or feel they have symptoms that might be related to implants?

and go!

Anyone with sub muscular still feel the muscle flex?

I've just been reading about muscle deformity and still feeling it after explant because the muscle is no longer attached to the rib cage, and that is so upsetting to me. Why did I do this to myself? I am so emotional about this, that I would do something so permanent to my body, I've been crying all night about this. My muscle feels so odd now even wiping down a cupboard or ironing, and now to find out this might continue. I'm a mess about this.

Capsulectomy or not????

Ladies, I'm conflicted and scared I'm not making the right decision by having just my implants removed. So many on here swear that the capsules need to be removed as well because that's where the toxins are and without a capsulectomy, I'll still have autoimmune symptoms. I have, as mentioned above, fatigue, brittle hair, tingling in hands and feet (numbness), trouble sleeping. Are the signs of implant leaking and mean I should opt for capsulectomy? I won't even be a year before explanting, my gut says just get these out, and maybe reconsider in a year about the capsules (if that's even possible). I'm feel that just removing them will help dramatically....thoughts???

One more sleep!!! Explant tomorrow morning at 8am!

Hard to believe it's here, feels like I've been waiting forever, but tomorrow morning is my time to shine. I had nightmares last night that after it was done, I was in so much pain and looked at my breasts, they were swollen and my incisions were open because the doc said I didn't have enough tissue to close!!! Horrible, but that's the anxiety, I promise to give myself time to heal and love my little saggy mama boobs. xx

I'm on the AA side now!!

I'm free! I feel instantly better! And I am pleasantly surprised and happy with the results! Will post pics when I get home. Thank you for all the love and support! Xx

One hour after. Happy with results!

I'm very pleased! Major sag and wrinkles but wow what a wonderful difference!!!

Day 2...feeling great!

Day 2 and the pain is so minimal. I can shower tomorrow, the right side is bruised but PS said he tugged a little on that side for stitches. I love being small again, clothes fit so much better. I feel lean and healthier, odd? I think not. The foreign objects are gone and my body is fighting hard to heal. I have a new appreciation for my body now.

Day 5 - not seeing changes much but still loving being me again!

Day 5 already, no fluffing or major retraction but feeling awesome! I'm healing quickly. Back to working out and loving it.
I've developed an odd rash on my chest, like hives. Maybe from sports bra material? Hard to say, but overall doing great!

Contact dermatitis!

Have myself a case of contact dermatitis, most likely from the drape used on my chest during the procedure. If it happens it usually flares 2-5 days post op but a little cream should clear it up.

I saw the PS today and very pleased with how fast I'm healing and that there are no major indents.

I don't expect much more retraction but again, I had loose saggy skin pre BA. They are definitely more wrinkly than before but again, it's so great to be pain free that I can live with it!

I recommend explanting to anyone thinking about it. No regrets!
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