I have been very insecure about my...
I have been very insecure about my flat chest since forever.
Some times I'm very glad that my flat chest doesn't limit me with any kind of sport of movements, some other times I just wish I could be able to wear a strapless dress or bikini.
My small boobs are pretty and even (probably because there's nothing there lol), but I'd like to have them bigger that I could feel more confident wearing anything.
Right now I'm around 34AA/A, and I would like something not grossly huge since I really enjoy doing activities like climbing and I don't want my implants to be in the way.
I am 160cm/48kgs, so yes, I am small but I have a pear shape.
I haven't had any consultation since I'm still saving. I'm thinking of getting it somewhere after August/September.
Eva, the manager of the community, sent me some links to read, but they are very long and some are not very relevant for me.
So I thought I'd do this for myself.
Any thoughts/opinions/questions I need to ask/preparation/things to consider are welcome.
I'll summarise the comments into updates. It's probably also easier for others who'd get a BA too.
First appointment : question list, first sizing, info on procedure
I have been on RealSelf for way too frequent. Today I had my first talk with the consultant regarding my BA, and she was surprised as how much I know already. YOU LADIES ROCK!!!
She was basically going through all the risks and pre&post-op preparations I need to be aware of, which was really great.
I brought my long list of questions, she answered almost everything before I could even get the chance to ask. Comforting!
Here is the checklist:
2. Silicon or saline (and the brand)
3. Incision : underarm, nipples or the fold
4. Shape : teardrop or round
5. Placement : under or over the muscle
6. High profile or moderate (plus)
7. Any satisfaction guarantee from the provider
8. Limitations before and after surgery : medicine, activities, recovery time needed
9. Risks : how fragile are the implants, bleeding, infection, etc
My preference (still, so far) goes to round, silicon, high profile, dual-plane.
I tried 300cc and 375cc today. Was asking if they had something in between but there were none.
The sizers were so pointy, I'm not sure I could decide based on those.
The consultant (and the clinic in general, according to her) tends to advise me to get the teardrop/anatomical. But the more she rubbed it in my face, the more I'm wanting the round. It's like unintentional reverse psychology. Or one just hears what she wants to hear.
I kind of like the idea of having a natural look, but I also would like the roundness.
I just haven't seen any anatomical review that I really really really love. They look way too natural in my opinion.
But on the other hand, I don't feel like forcing my own will against the surgeon's. He knows what he's doing and clearly he's a professional, so I should put my trust in him, I guess.
The consultant did not have any pictures with the round implants, so I can't really say anything until I actually talk to the PS.
Hence, I'm going for the second appointment in June, where the surgeon will be around to give his opinion. And the lovely S/O, of course. I'm kind of dragging him into this.
After all, we are the two people who will have to live with the twins for the rest of our lives.
Oh and he already took the liberty that my left boob would be his.
(we are such a weird couple, I know..)
The surgery will be done probably somewhere in October, for some personal reasons.
Anyway, the clinic uses Mentor for the round implants and Silimed for the anatomical. Anyone has any experience with these?
I've been taking pre-op pictures, but I'm still debating whether or not I should put them online right now. Maybe later..
Learning I can't delete/edit posts makes me a little more careful in typing and being weird :P
OBSESSION and some inspos
For heaven's sake..
I stay up until 2 and wake up at 7 in the morning and the first thing I do after drinking some water is go on RealSelf and go through the reviews for BAs.
I think I'm going to opt for dual plane, crease incision and round HP.
I just need to go for the second opinion for the sizing.
Also I think I'll go somewhere between 275-350cc.
I like the idea of having "boobies" but I've never been a boob person, so I'm still deciding either going for B or a C.
I thought after 3 days abusing RealSelf for some inspiration and reviews I would get tired and stop.....nope. Lord have mercy.
Was wondering if second opinion is really useful?
I had my first surgery (labiaplasty) with a surgeon and I think he did an amazing job. Then decided that I might as well go with him for my BA.
Overall I feel good about him and I know I'm in good hands. But I see a lot of women here actually went to see multiple surgeons for second opinions.
Is it worth it?
I'll have my second consultation next week (second time with the consultant, first time with the PS) for the BA. And I'm not going to get my bewbies done before October so I still have so much time to do some research.
But I really don't feel like getting more things to consider just because the surgeons would probably say different stuff. I just worry that I wouldn't know what to do!
On the other hand if they all would say the same thing, it would be such a relief though!
Am I the only one being sad when I see girls here with their cup B saying "ewwww look at my pre-op theyre so tiny"?
For someone to be as flat as me, having a B would be a good enough reason not to get a BA.
I understand that BA is a personal choice and you are allowed to think or feel the way you want to, but those comments just really break my heart.
I'm still grateful that I know I'd be having my BA in a few months as my financial situation allows me too. I just feel sorry for those who can't afford a BA and have to go through the comments (even if they're not for them personally).
I am sorry for this shameless rant. I am probably just frustrated for being so flat.
sizing in 2 days!!
So, I will have my sizing with the surgeon this saturday. I'm so excited. Kind of already know that it's going to be somewhere between 300-375cc, but I am still so nervous.
I am going to bring a bodycon dress (for the complete body proportion) and a tight t-shirt...
Anything specific I should ask to my surgeon? Feedback, please :D What did you ask besides the size?
Also, I told my sister in law that I'm going to have a BA. Her first reaction was...but you're gonna be out of proportion? Then I giggled and said, well, you don't know how flat I am! And she understood why I want this, so that's good. So far she's the only person who knows besides my boyfriend.
At the moment I'm sorting out all my old "too tight" clothes from the boxes when I moved in with my boyfriend. Considering that we are going to buy a house together, I thought it would be wise to start donating my old clothes that I'm not gonna wear anymoree...and those soon I can't wear anymore. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKK SO EXCITED!!!!!!!
The moving is naturally also the reason why I'm waiting to get my BA in October. I would need all my strength to move and decorate and stuff. And when I would have a place where I can rest etc, I would get my BA. At least that was what my boyfriend said to me. That man :')
So yeah, I hope you ladies are healthy and happy.
I went on my second consultation yesterday and I think I'm not going for a second opinion.
I just had a very good feeling about the surgeon I chose, so I'm just going to proceed with him.
The surgery is going to be done in Germany, it's like 2hr-drive from home. Hope the anesthesia would stay for a while so I could have a normal journey back.
The PS was very nice and he actually took his time to explain what he thinks best, also did some measurements on my breast width. It's around 11cm ish, I believe. Not quite sure because I did not ask, but he was referring to 325cc HP. The MPP for my breast width would give too little cc and the UHP would be around 450cc. No. NO.
I knew my range would be somewhere 300cc-375cc, and although I was hoping to get 350cc, I'm pretty happy since I'm quite active. I hope this would take me to a full B/C cup, give me a nice cleavage, and some side boobs :D
Tried the sizer, approved by the mister.
How helpless during the first 3 days?
I just got notified that there's an opening on the 15th of july. Which is 3mos sooner than I planned. I am so excited!!!!
I'm still debating because it would fall on a wednesday and I would be then alone for at least 10hrs the next day and the day after, before my boyfriend is having 2weeks vacation (happy!!)
Well I know it's kind of different with everyone with the recovery process, but how dependent were you personally?
SURGERY DATE IS 4 MONTHS SOONER!
I made up my mind and I talked to MIL that I'm getting a BA. She is very supportive. So excited and nervous at the same time now. EEEEKKKKK
pre-op and wish boobs given to PS
I understand how difficult it is to read a review without a visualisation, so I proudly present to all of you, my pancakes!
Oh yeah, and also some wish boobs I showed my PS. I was sooooo super relieved when he actually said that the expected outcome would be like a picture I like the most. It is like one of those everyones favourite pictures. I have an OCD to always be different, so im a little bummed. HAHAHA what the heck, o.o, youre just making up the ocd.
(yes i like talking to myself, and my keyboard is not picking up some keys, apologies for that)
Anyway, my boyfriend and I are celebrating our anniversary on the 14th of July, just a day before the surgery!! :D
I hate waiting, so i am so glad that there are so many things to look forward to before the big day.
wish you all a great everything!
sorry, this is the expected outcome pic!
not sure why but i was cropping it and it was suddenly improperly cropped instead?
diy recovery kit
so I've been making my own diy mixtures for almost everything since I was like 13 or something. I first read about Eden Knows Implants recovery kit from KC91's review, and I heard it's an amazing kit.
I wanted one! But it's quite pricey and even more with the shipping costs. So, I decided to make my own mixture based on all the "good stuff for recovery" I found on RealSelf!
Since everything is very organic and natural and all, I believe it won't do me any harm.
Everything is made, it's just the applying part now :D
I'll keep you updated how it's working for me!
I'm so scared of getting a lot of stretch marks although I'm not getting huge implants, but still. I want them to be as pretty as possible. You know what I mean. Need to pay in full in less than a week, although I would manage with two other options, but I'm sticking with the plan A now.
I paid in full like half an hour ago. No backsies now.
I have been seeing a shrink for a while now and it's been pretty rough. I know even "normal" people go through this emotional roller coaster, so I could understand why I'm feeling the way I feel, it's just waaay more intense. I have had crazy cold feet now and then, like should I or should I not. But today when I had the fund and a good feeling about the surgery, I immediately wired the money. Deep down i know it's what I've always wanted.
To all the ladies having their surgery in July, good luck and have a speedy recovery xx
Mine is less than two weeks!
Last bits of summer before BA
Not sure how long I would have to stay inside and wear the post-op bra so here I am sunbathing. And while no one was around, I thought I'd take some more pre op pictures
Excuse the unattractive colour combination....
as a reminder if I'm being such an ungrateful bitch
I am happy for all the ladies here who are happy with their implants. I hope they would grow to love them. I think it's a life-changing experience. And I'm a believer of happiness. That we should do what makes us happy, and that we need to actively do things we all deserve.
When I first brought this topic up to my then boyfriend a few days ago fiancé (yeaaah baby!!!), he said to me that he would support me with any decision I would make in my life, if it makes me feel better or happier. I mentioned about the money, I mean we have enough money, it's just that we could always use money for something else. I asked him what if I would be unhappy, or even sadder. His answer is still the only thing that really makes me so sure about all this. He said that we should take chances. And if this is what I have been wanting since 17 and if this would make me happier, even juuuust for a tiny bit, it is worth it.
We are all risking it. We do not know how we would end up looking like. I mean, shit happens. We just take it on faith that everything would turn out fine and that we would grow accepting and loving ourselves more. In this kind of world and crazy life we are in, we eventually will realise that we are all beautiful people and we deserve to be as happy as we want us to be.
I understand that this surgery involves so many emotions but I see a lot of ladies who are bitching about the surgery just because in the end they realise it's not what they want size/profile-wise.
I mean I understand if it's a mess like an awful asymmetrical result, capsular contracture, deformity, rippling, infection, or 10-inch gap in a 32er or something.
But those who are complaining and being difficult and stating that the money they paid was not worth it because of boob greed or wrong profile or too big or not having enough side boobs......well.
I am trying to put myself in their shoes, and I just think....this is just childish and pathetic.
Let's just agree you will virtually slap me in my face if I would do that.
In a little more than a week I will undergo my BA surgery. I am a little nervous and excited too, and to be honest I am really scared if something goes wrong. But I am a grown up person and I made my own decision. I did the research, I looked for a qualified surgeon, I thought about the size, the profile, the type and I read about everything over and over and over again until I was at the point where I knew I was sure about every little thing of it.
Next time (maybe, if I could shut myself up) I post, I'll actually have bewbs. Covered in a horrible post-op bra (as my consultant describes it), but I hope I'll be content and happy with my decision. Fingers crossed.
Laterrrr, you all sexy human beings!!!
PS I am pretty sure this crazy rant will have a very few reader (I hope so too for you). I notice that people are actually reacting a lot only at the post-op posts. Well, like I said, I had to write this as a reminder to oneself :)
PSS I start massaging using Palmer's cocoa butter + vitamin E oil to prevent stretch marks. Followed by Arnica Montana, Quercetin and Bromelein in 5 days.
On the other side!!
15 Jul 2015
Day of treatment
I have been awake for 14hours for today's surgery and now finally home
It was a rather rough surgery.
I fainted after getting the needle. I had the most horrible few seconds of passing out. I forced myself to wake up beck i didnt know what i was doing or where i was. Then i realised my fiancé was there and that he calmed me down. I sincerely thought the surgery was done. I touched my boobies and they're still the same. Took ne a few seconds to realise that the surgery was yet to come lol
Anyway when I woke up after the surgery, the real one, I was shaking and cold and warm...
Took like 30' before they moved me to the other room.
I felt (and still do) dizzy and nauseous every time i sit straight or stand up. So i kept lying on my back.. It's tough.
Haven't seen the girls yet, I'm too sick and tired to do so.
Will post more as soon as I can. Xx
So much pain and panic attacks
I have so much pain. Recovery is no joke.
I took all my meds on time but it feels like I'm still so nauseated from the surgery and the pain and pressure.
I can't stand the compression band above my chest so i stopped wearing it.
My skin feels extremely tight and i can feel the implants. But I'm really happy with how I look pod1.
Wishing everyone an amazing day x
Second night, morning boob, first shower
Yesterday as I was going to sleep I took my celebrex as prescribed. Apparently my stomach was too weak for that. I felt nauseous and dizzy the whole time. Tried vomiting so I would feel better, but really all I could do was burping all night long. How charming.
So the combination of nausea, dizziness and burping the whole time was really frustrating.
At 3AM I woke up because I thought I was going to vomit, almost cried from the morning boob. Felt like two stones were on my chest, I couldn't sit up. So I put a bucket besides my face literally in case I really needed to throw up.
At 6ish the nausea and burping was gone. I could sleep til 9AM. Talked to my PS about my concern and he told me to stop the celebdex, and then Netflix-ing the whole day.
At 5PM ish as fiancé was home after work, I could take a shower. HEA-VEN!
I haven't taken any medicine today besides arnica montana, not even paracetamol. Feeling pretty good so far. Now I'm just extremely tired after exhausting days and lack of sleep in a row.
Here are some pictures. Nipples are low, but it's because the implants are still riding high. I'm still very happy with the size!
Right boob hurts
My right side had always been more cooperative until last night. I woke up in the middle of the night with the stabbing feeling on my side boob all the way to the incision area.
So scared of capsular contr but that's not the case. It's still beautifully round!
I can't move much. I feel better if I arch my back and move my shoulders that my shoulder blades get closer to each other.
Other than that, everything is perfect. I'm planning to take a walk in the shopping mall today, hopefully it will make me feel better.
It's POD 6!
I feel like they're riding lower today, which is a nice change. I love the overall look and how it fits my body now. I know there are still going to be a lot of changes, but I'm already so happy with my new tatas! :)
I am still struggling with the pain, soreness, cramps and crazy acnes all over my bodybody, but things have gotten so much better. And I'm just going to stay positive that from now on it's gonna get even better.
I can't wait for this pain to fade.
Here are some pics. Hope everyone is doing amazing
Boobie nightmares and morning boob kicked in extra painfully today.
That was my first night I dreamt anything about boobs by the way. So crazy.
In ny dreams I walked around naked and people could still see my bandages.
They asked if I had a boobiejobbie, and I proudly said yes. But when I looked in the mirror, boobs were not mine. Flattened and were rippling everywhere. I got so sad. Hahaha.
A lot of women need some time to feel like the boobs are a part of them, i thankfully have felt like they're mine from day 1. It's probably because I have a 2-inch birthmark close to my sternum, it's hard to think they're not mine.
Right now I almost don't feel any pain besides morning boob and soreness on the sides and my incision area. Getting out of bed in the morning has also been easier. Still painful, but easier.
I have stopped with medication for the past 3 days and I feel really good. Except the fact that sleeping elevated has made my butt really soft. Like crazy soft. I've always been so proud of my ass but now I need to be patient and wait for a go from my PS to work out. I'm seeing him next week.
Afterall, I guess it's important to be grateful for small things. A long shower, a sip of white wine, a long, slow walk and a chance to be a little happier.
Wishing my ladies nothing but the happiest. X
Visit to H&M
Either it's a boob greed or my anxiety of them deflating...but damn, they feel smaller everyday. Thankfully bought a 75D bra at H&M for €7 the other day and checked today if it still fits.. It does. I guess I am just getting used to the size. Love my overall look although they still need to d&f.
Implants are still hard, and I don't think I'm going to end up having cleavage. I don't think my anatomy allows.
As for dropping, right one is sloping much more nicely while I can still feel the bulge of the implant on my left.
Nipples are still pretty low, I guess there will be some more dropping to do.
So far still very happy with my decision and I'm just hoping for them to drop evenly and fluff. Come come d&f fairy!
I am 6w post op as of today!
Cleared to do ANYTHING, as long as my body allows.
I think it would take some time before I could actually climb the way I used to.
Too bad, because I was hoping to be as fit as I could for my wedding day. But definitely will work on my lower body part like a maniac. My ass feels so soft now.
Okay, update on bewbies.
- incision: still using my silicone gel twice a day, and in between I put on cocoa butter while massaging the scars. I am not allowed to vigorously massage the implants since I have textured. I used to gently massage the implants the first 3 weeks, I guess, because my skin felt so tight, especially in the morning. It helped. And then my skin got stretchier and so I stopped massaging.
- size: got sized yesterday! I am generally 65E (30E) at Hunkemöller and 30DDD at VS. Since it's extremely hard to find this size, I would have to go with 70D (32D), 75C (34C) from most brands. VS runs small and I have never been a big fan of VS, so I wouldn't bother looking.
The cup of the sister sizes fits, sometimes too small, but the band is just too big that even putting on the tightest hooks, I still can't wear strapless comfortably (not that I ever could before haha).
- d&f: they dropped, but not enough, imho. Upper part of my implants is still above my armpit level. When I shrug my shoulders, I could see how much more dropping there'll be (or should be...), also that my nipples are still rather low. I guess I shouldn't compare my progress so I don't have to feel behind.
And as for fluffing, I still can't tell what that means. I have very little cleavage, almost none from front view. Making my boobs look so far apart. But my projection from the side is super lovely!
Love from Holland!
Bouldering at 7 weeks 5 days PO
Hi ladies, a quick update on climbing!
Went bouldering yesterday and had a little discomfort now and then, but nothing like real pain. I must admit that I got tired extremely fast and had to have a lot of small breaks in between. I think it's the combination of the surgery and for not being active these past two months.
Once you're cleared to work out, my advice is to just listen to your body and don't push it too hard. Rest when you need to.
For those who keep track on your climbing progress, bear in mind that catching up to where you were is a slow process. But you'll get there again :)
I planned to boulder and climb, but it was very exhausting physically and emotionally yesterday so I skipped climbing.
Now enjoying the muscle soreness...gosh I missed this!
70 days since BA
23 Sep 2015
2 months post
Sorry I did not update for so long. I have this feeling that my review is not that helpful and my experience is not as eventful as others', so I didn't bother updating.
And my laziness, of course. Ahem.
But it's been a while and I thought an update wouldn't hurt.
10 weeks! Time flies, but I really enjoyed the past 3-4 weeks. Finally felt human again especially being cleared to sleep on my side! Now even on my belly with no trouble :)
I am very happy with my tatas, although I still get boob greed occasionally. But remembering all the pain and sufferings I went through, I'm not quite sure if I would want a second BA. Not anytime soon, at least.
My mondor's cords are almost gone, they are still slightly visible but I no longer have any discomfort or pain from them.
My chest muscles seem to still struggle in accommodating these newsies. I can push them together but with a little force and difficulties. Not painful, but they just can't make cleavage (yet, I hope).
They're dropping very very slowly, but I'm a very patient person (not). But that is okay.
My scars are still dark and I just started switching from silicon gel to using silicon tape last week. They feel flatter after 24hrs. All in my head, probably?
Sometimes I feel this electric shock like pain in both my breasts. Lately it gets more frequent. I suppose it's a part of the recovery of the cut nerves, and now they're healing. It's like a real pain, but not unbearable, and only for a few seconds.
I still fit most of my old wardrobes. Goodbye old lingerie (crying!!), bikinis and bras, of course. But it's relieving to know I couldn't fit in those anymore.
I bought a few bras and the sizes are almost all different.
The most comfortable one is (surprisingly) from H&M. A 34D balcony bra that I bought on my 2W post op. Of course I have to use the tightest hook since I'm a 30. But it's really comfy.
As for my mental issues (tmi, but maybe useful). I mentioned before that I have a depression. This BA procedure has not had any negative impact on my mental state. At least that's how I feel so far.
Whether it's making me feeling less insecure etc, I'm not quite sure, honestly.
But I'm happy I had it.
I'm posting some pictures (which I might delete later - sorry for my anxiety), hoping they would help.
Almost a year later!
23 May 2016
10 months post
Hiya! I'm sorry I've been away for so long.
I deleted all my pictures due to privacy reasons.
When I was just had my surgery, all I wanted to do was to see progress and I thought, why not share it.
After a while, I read back and realised I might have been way too open which eventually made me uncomfortable. I hope this explains.
I am so glad to read all the new stories and meet a lot of new members since I've been away. It is also so amazing to see how the ladies who I followed back then have progressed. It reminds me how we were all in this together, how we were connected in a strange way. I thank this platform for that.
I am happy with my breasts. I am between 30DD and 30E now.
But if I could change a thing or two:
1. I would have gone with MPP. I have very boney sternum and I have the feeling like the implants are visible.
2. I would have changed my goals. I cringe everytime I look at my initial goal pictures. I worshipped the looks and now I was thinking, why on earth did I think that I would want them on myself.
It's really about the preference and style.
One of my current favourite looks is from user brunswoman. If you have time, follow her story. I think she's an amazing person and I am so sorry to read her last update. I hope things are better now.
Ps. There's nothing wrong with any looks. If you want it, go for it.
3. I would go with areola incision. I have a light tinted skin that makes the scars more visible. Downside is, complications that might occur.
I might one day post pictures again, but until then, I hope my reviews help.
ONE YEAR OLD!
And, duh! I forced my husband to give them a kiss HAHA.
I feel like they are still not 100% settled/done, so I am still expecting some changes.
My chest muscles are not fully relaxed. Sometimes I feel some weird feelings in my chest, but they're not painful or anything.
I feel less insecure about my body, although with the depression and anxiety disorders I am suffering, the BA means absolutely nothing. It is hard to feel confident or be happy about anything, but I definitely enjoy feeling a bit more like a woman.
Feel free to ask me anything! X