60 Years Old, Silicone Over, None, Saline Under, Silicone Under, Ready for Nothing

Had my follow up appointment yesterday and according to the doc, all is good. Well, at one point during the visit, she offered a box of tissues because it was a bit emotional, but basically all is good. I can resume exercise, lifting, etc. no underwire bras and try to not sleep on my stomach yet (argh), but otherwise I can do all that I feel like doing. I guess at this point I would say my only major concern is my sexual relationship with my husband. And we are at a point in our lives where that has changed anyway, but it is more than that. He is in pretty good shape and has always been very sexual. We had a period of separation and are back together now and I believe for the long haul. He says so and seems committed. So, I've been trying to be confident and comfortable in my newly deflated but real self. Well, we have had sex twice now, the second time, yesterday, was during the day and he lost his erection, I can't help but believe it is my fault. He could see me, and it ain't pretty dear friends, not at all. And a big part of attraction is visual, right?? Isn't that why we are all in this situation?? Of course, this is not helping things at all. I've not talked to him about it, but will ultimately do so. If we can't talk about things, what is there? Anyway, another road to cross, another break in my self esteem, and I'm fighting it all the way. Alternatively. I got up this morning and suggested a hike down the hill and back and put on a cami/I don't know what to call it/let myself be me for the hike and didn't care. It is one of the tops I used to wear when I had implants with a liner type shelf bra with no padding or support and I just didn't care! I wore it with my head held high and good posture!! So, onward through the fog... Peace and love.

This afternoon marks one week since my explant. I am still really suffering with the allergic reaction to the tape but everything else seems ok. Of course. I'm tired of sleeping on my back and tired of the tight sports bra... Haven't taken any additional photos because of the terrible rash all along the scars and up the outsides of my breasts, it looks just awful and still itches quite a bit but is definitely better. This is day 4 of the prednisone. Once I finish the dose pack, if the redness and raised rash isn't significantly better, I will contact the doctors office and see what they think. I have started some online bra shopping and wonder if anyone really flat chested has found a padded bra with no under wires that they really like. I'm all about comfort and would like to have a little bit of shape... Anyway, thoughts going out to all you ladies going through this process and especially to you who are considering making the decision. Stay strong [RS bleep]

Have you ever watched children and animals and noticed they have no sense of self like we do as adults? I know it is part of the human process to become so self aware but why are we focused on self awareness in our physical outward body when what we really should do is be completely concerned with self awareness of our internal, intellectual, spiritual selves!! Love this little cartoon and think it says a lot! Be proud of who you are!