26 years old, 5'7", 145 lbs, no kids, 32B + 475cc & 550cc HP submuscular silicone = 32DDD

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I'm so glad I found this site. I'm going to use...

I'm so glad I found this site. I'm going to use this as a blog of my boob journey! I have been very comforted by the honest, down-to-earth reviews on this website from so many fabulous women and I'm excited to begin my own boob story! =)

All of the women in my family have pretty large breasts so I was kind of the anomaly with my little mini boobs. Oh how I loved the jokes growing up... "Why bother wearing a bra? You just need a couple of bandaids!" It's safe to say that I've wanted breast augmentation for about a decade... yes this would mean since I was 16! Obviously I knew I'd have to wait till I was an adult, but somehow I just knew I was done growing and I was right. In fact, I've been the same size since I was 12. During my teenage years I was obsessed with watching plastic surgery shows... less because I was so fixated on my own plastic surgery desires and more because I had an intense fascination with medicine in general. I spent so many hours watching plastic surgery shows though that I've never considered plastic surgery a big deal like most people seem to. It's a very straight-forward thing with me... I want bigger boobs so why not get them? My mom always said, "Aww honey, they'll get bigger when you have kids." Well... I don't want to wait that long and I don't think that's the case anyway... most women seem to lose volume after having kids and breast-feeding.

At 18 I joined the Army as a practical nurse. The last 8 years has been crazy... I've been around the world and I've been so busy with so many things that breast augmentation just stayed on the list of things I'd do "someday". Most of my nursing experience was post/op which has further desensitized me from considering surgery a big deal. The last few years I've been in college as an ROTC cadet. I'm currently a senior and will commission in May so I'll tell you right now, my BIGGEST concern is how B.A. will affect my physical performance, primarily push-ups and running. I don't just need to pass the Army Physical Fitness Test (APFT), but as a future Army officer I should be maxing it. My cadre are surprisingly supportive. They don't care that I'm getting B.A. as long as I don't need a limited duty profile for longer than 45 days.

So why am I doing this NOW? Well my surgery date is going to be on December 9th and that gives me a month off for winter break to recover which means I only have to miss, at most, a couple weeks of physical training at the start of next semester; I had a realization that it's the longest guaranteed break I'll have and it's important to me that it happens before I commission because I don't want to get to my first unit as an LT, get them, and be "the new LT with fake boobs". If they only know the "after" me then it won't be so obvious.

Today I had my consultation and pre/op appointment (both together so I don't have to make the 4-hr roundtrip again in 2 weeks). I went alone because I honestly couldn't think of anyone I'd want to go with me. My family is 2,800 miles away and my friends are all too opinionated. I've wanted this far too long to want to hear my friends, who know nothing about B.A., try and tell me what would be best. To ensure I will be the happiest with my result, I decided that the only people I want influencing my decisions are myself and the plastic surgeon/ expert.

I felt a little embarrassed explaining the things I don't like about my boobs but my PS immediately put me at ease with his caring attitude, professionalism, and expertise.
1. I want overall more volume!
2. I want to correct my asymmetry... it's not terrible but my left boob has more fullness on the bottom than my right boob.
3. I have a teeny tiny 3rd nipple under my left boob that I want removed. It just looks like a mole but because I know what it is, it makes me feel like a mutant lol.

My PS and I decided that I'll get Natrelle silicone implants below the muscle, which is what I already knew I wanted. The only thing I wasn't sure about is size... I want to look very "blessed" but not like a porn star. We decided that my left implant will be 450cc and my right will be 500cc. I tried 350cc and 400cc sizers first and then moved up to the larger ones to compare. I'd probably still be happy with the smaller ones because it'd still be a big difference but I decided on the larger ones for two reasons: 1) supposedly the actual implants will look a little smaller than the sizers, and 2) one of the most common complaints after B.A. is "I wish I'd gone bigger." How much would that suck to FINALLY get B.A. and STILL wish you had bigger boobs? On principle I think it'd bother me more to wish I'd gone bigger than wish I'd gone smaller. I'm so excited for this surgery that I think I'm going to be happy no matter what.

Overall, the consultation and pre/op appointment was awesome. The plastic surgery center had a nice atmosphere, I didn't wait at all, everyone was SO sweet and caring, and my PS understands what I want. The hardest part about all of this is just waiting for my surgery date! I want boobies and I want them now!

Only 14 days to go and I must be getting nervous

I keep going back and forth on the size I chose which I know just about everyone does. A couple of times I wondered if they'd be big enough but more often, I'm wondering if they'll be too big. Whenever I have my doubts, I start googling for before and after pictures of anyone who's had 450-500cc breast implants. Sometimes my mind is put completely to rest when I see others who have my size implant and carry it very well, and other times I'm a little freaked out when I see pics of women who had smaller implants and even a smaller starting size and now look huge! It reinforces how hard it is to get an accurate idea. It seems like the vast majority of before/afters I come across are women who are smaller than me so that doesn't help. Someone who is 5'2" and 100 lbs just won't carry implants the same as me who is 5'7" and 145 lbs. I always considered myself to have a "big frame" and when I said this during my consultation, the nurse laughed and said I do not have a big frame, I'm just tall. But surely, it must still make a difference.

After my consultation I made some rice sizers at home but I don't feel like they're very accurate in determining what the "after" will look like. I used an old pair of nylons to put the rice in and the material makes it very easy to manipulate, but I still feel like they make my boobs awkward, lumpy, and much more saggy looking than the actual implants will be. I haven't worn them for more than like 10 mins because I just feel so silly with them in my bra.

Last night, I was thinking about what I want to wear to this event coming up after my breast augmentation so I tried on a dress I haven't worn to anything yet. At the time I was just wearing a little sports bra and was very flat but I didn't actually mind the look. I looked nice and thin from the side with an overall, youthful and athletic appearance. I saw my sizers sitting on my dresser and out of curiosity, placed them inside my sports bra to see how I looked then. I feel like it increased the "sexy" look. The dress was not that low cut and before would've only showed breast bone instead of any real cleavage, but with the sizers in, it created a lot more cleavage and I started wondering if such a sweet, classy dress would then be "too sexy" for the event, just because my boobs would be bigger. I didn't love the appearance from the side. It made me feel like I looked more matronly. Afterward, I thought about how I might actually miss my small boobs. Sometimes smaller boobs make me look like I have a more "Vogue" appearance in my clothing vs. "Hey everyone, look I have big boobs and it's hard to notice anything else!"

My goal is to have a breast size that looks much better when I'm naked, wearing just a bikini, or going braless occasionally under clothes, but still able to downplay by wearing minimizing bras when I don't want a big boob look... I'm just hoping 450-500cc will still accomplish that and not look enormous all the time. I'm clearly not 100% certain about the size I chose but I think it's impossible to be until I see my own "after". I'm sticking by my deal though that I'm not changing my mind... the nurse told me at my consultation about a woman recently who changed her mind on size the day of surgery (having doubts like I do now) and then really regretted it after. That won't be me! I just want this over with so I can stop obsessing! I am about to start all my Finals at school and I'm working on all my big term projects right now, but all I can think about is BOOBS.


I cannot believe I'm only one day away now. I have waited sooooo long for this and now I am so close. I'm still struggling to finish my term papers and stressed about that which I think is keeping my stress about BA to a minimum. Some days school completely distracts me from thinking about my BA and other days BA has distracted me from wanting to do school stuff, but by tomorrow both will be complete. Still going back and forth on size but I'm just going to trust that the size my PS suggested will be best.

Rice Sizers

Here is a picture of me with and without the rice sizers I made at home (450cc L and 500cc R). The sports bra I'm wearing is the tightest one I own so it makes my natural breasts look smaller than they actually are. I wore this one though so the sizers would stay in place better. I guess the way that I feel is they'll be ok if they turn out like this but I don't want them any bigger and my understanding is they may appear a little smaller when placed submuscular so I should be ok.

Tonight I will have a mini farewell to my "before" boobs and take lots of pics so I can post some side-by-side comparisons later after my BA.

I survived!!! :-)

Everything went absolutely amazing and I'm home now, just got in bed, and ready for a nap! I will post more later but here are the new tata's! I feel a little vain at the moment because I'm absolutely in love with them and can't stop looking lmao but what a great feeling!! Merry Christmas to me, from me! =D

My Surgery & Day 1 Post/Op

So I got a good night’s sleep the night before surgery and then got up at 4am, left at 5:30, and arrived at the plastic surgery center at about 7:45 (told to be there at 8 with an 0830 scheduled surgery). One thing I’ve liked is that even with my consultation, I was never left waiting. The staff is just so on top of everything. I’m glad that it was just kind of go-go-go because I hardly had time to be nervous. They are such an incredibly efficient team. An RN took my vitals and went over the consent and whatnot, the CRNA came in to check on everything with me one last time, and then my surgeon came in and marked me up. As previously mentioned, I had some asymmetry. My nipples and upper halves matched but my right breast was just kind of cut short and lacked volume in the base so he used my left breast as the “model breast” and marked where the new base of the right would be.

Once in the OR, I honestly felt just spoiled by having so many lovely ladies taking care of me, making me as comfortable as can be, and just being incredibly personable. My surgeon’s staff is just phenomenal and it’s all these little things which have made my experience great. After the CRNA established my IV, she gave me some Versed which made me feel pretty much instantly sleepy, incredibly relaxed, and not a care in the world. I don’t remember seeing the surgeon come in the room. I lied there feeling just 100% at peace for a minute or two and that’s the last thing I remember.

Next thing I know, I woke up in another room with an RN nearby filling out some paperwork. When I perceived myself as waking up, it seemed like I had already been awake though. I just remember talking to her but I don’t remember when the conversation started lol. I’ve only had anesthesia once before (also IV sedation) when I had my wisdom teeth out and it seems to make me talkative haha. I didn’t really feel loopy though. I had zero adverse effects to any of the meds. I was a tad dizzy, shaky, and not totally steady on my feet but that’s completely normal and it went away after a few mins. The RN helped me get dressed and everything and wheeled me right out to my friend who was ready to pick me up and that was that!

The pain started setting in so I took my first Percocet at 1030 and Valium a couple hours later when I got home. I took a few selfies to show my mom and BF but I pretty much just wanted to rest. The pain was starting to get stronger so I wanted to just go to sleep and not be aware of it. I had a really hard time trying to sleep though because I always sleep flat on my stomach and now I have to sleep elevated on my back, which has always made my lower back hurt a little and the longer I stayed awake, the more my chest was starting to hurt. Eventually I took an Ambien and that knocked me out pretty well and I slept great. Since then, my sleep schedule has been really wack. I sleep for a few hours, stay up for a few hours, fall back asleep, etc. but I'm feeling well-rested despite my random sleep hours.

Yesterday morning, one of the sweet nurses gave me a call to check up on me. I stayed in bed pretty much the whole day because the pain was awful and I didn’t want to move. As many others have said, you really don’t know how much you use your chest muscles until after you have BA. Anything that uses my arms, which is everything, also hurts my chest. Sitting up hurts, twisting around trying to adjust my pillows hurts, reaching for a drink or a pill bottle hurts. I hurt pretty much just all day and I was alone so I struggled to do everything and just felt kind of depressed. At times the pain was so intense, I definitely had some "wtf did I do to myself moments". I took off the bra they sent me home in and left it off the whole day because it felt better without it. I realized I hadn’t been taking my medication as often as the bottle says… mostly because it makes me sleepy and I fall asleep for a while… the entire day was off & on sleeping, and before I know it, I’d be way overdue for another dose so maybe that’s why my dumbass was hurting so much.

At my consultation I had agreed to 450cc L and 500cc R based on my PS’s suggestion after I showed him pics of what I wanted. I was nervous that 450cc and 500cc would be too big. He didn’t by any means try to sway me away from any other size and encouraged me to try on other sizers, but I personally just felt like if that size suggestion was his first instinct, then why not go with it because he is the breast expert. I kind of had a “whatever you think” attitude. In fact, it occurred to me later that we never talked about what profile I was getting! As crazy as it sounds, I ended up just not really caring or stressing about it either because when I thought about it later I was like, “eh, whatever, I trust him to pick the best implant for me.” Ok so all that being said, he ended up placing 475cc L and 550cc R- Natrelle Stye 20 High Profile. I’m SO glad that I just really trusted my PS a lot throughout all of this because he placed slightly larger than I thought I was going to get (when I was already nervous about my chosen size) and they were HP even though in the way back of my mind I think I was leaning toward Mod+ (though I never expressed that). I think my PS made an outstanding choice. Beauty is both a science and an art and I think he nails them both so I happily gave him as much freedom as I could in just doing what he does best. I would’ve thought 475cc and 550cc HP were HUUUUUGE but I believe he picked the perfect implants for my frame.

So far in my recovery, my right breast has been hurting quite a bit more which makes sense. It’s much sorer at the base because that’s where he had to extend the breast pocket down and make it bigger. Then he put an implant 75cc bigger in my smaller breast so it feels like it’s been stretched even more. Even though 75cc isn’t a huge difference, I can definitely tell it’s bigger and it sits a little higher on my chest until my muscles will relax enough to let them drop. At this stage it almost looks like it’s going to be permanently bigger than the left one, but I think that’s because the base of the right where he extended the pocket is pretty swollen so it doesn’t look like it needs that full extra 75cc, though when I think back to my pre/op breasts, I’m pretty certain it does so I’m not worried. I’m wondering if having different sizes will mean they’ll drop at different rates? I’m sure it will probably make a difference. I’m just going to accept that my breasts are going to look silly for a few weeks up to a few months, but right now I’m feeling really confident that I’ll have an excellent final result. And oh yeah, he also removed that teeny tiny undeveloped extra nipple thing I had on my left boob so I actually have two incisions on that boob (a tiny one about ¾ of the way from the nipple to the crease, and then the actual crease incision) but I don’t mind it at all. Even though it only looked like a little brownish mole, I just really didn’t like it there on my boob and it would get slightly raised when I was cold, just like actual nipple tissue. I’d rather have a miniscule scar that’s hardly noticeable. I am just so thrilled… even if the only things fixed were my little bit of asymmetry and having that mini extra nipple removed, I’d still have a big confidence boost. Neither were ever that obvious to others but they made me feel ugly :/ Now that’s fixed AND I have big boobies for the first time ever! Even in their silly-looking stage, I feel so much sexier and more womanly! I got on a better schedule of making sure I’m taking my pain meds on time and that’s helped significantly. I’ve also been taking ibuprofen every several hours for its anti-inflammatory properties. Pretty sure the worst day is down. :) Only thing I'm not liking right now is my chest is stretched so dang much to accommodate these implants, that my nipples are being stretched too which it both uncomfortable and not a permanent look I want. I had pretty cute little nipples so I'd like to keep them that way lol... hopefully they'll get a little smaller again once the swelling goes down.

Post/Op Day 2

What a huge difference a single day can make! I got more diligent about taking my medications on time and that helped significantly. Of course I'm still sore but I felt 1000x better than my first day post/op. I haven't really had assistance with anything so everything has been on my own. I attended a special ceremony today; even though I practically just had surgery, it was important to me that I was there to support my friends. My shower was easier than expected. The warm water was indeed relaxing for my chest muscles. I took a little longer to get ready than usual but just because I'm trying to be really careful with my movements. I noticed that I'm really bloated! As I looked in the mirror, I just felt really icky and fat! I'm not going to obsess too much because I know bloating tends to happen but YUCK, I really want it to go away! On the scale, I weighed 8 lbs more than I did pre/op and that's after eating very little of anything after surgery!! I find an 8 lb difference in 2 days to be crazy... maybe 2 lbs for the breasts? But that's still a lot!! I haven't been feeling sick to my stomach at all but I just haven't been that hungry and I think I'm a little scared to eat much, knowing it might be a long time before it comes back out. Anyone know, on average, how long it will probably take to have a bowel movement? I took a dose of laxatives today so I can start working on it.

As I picked out something to wear for the ceremony today, I originally put on a dress with a very high neckline to cover myself up but I felt like it drew even more attention to the funny silhouette my breasts have. I haven't kept my BA a secret because I'm just the type of person who talks openly about things and people can judge if they want but I don't care as long as I'm happy with myself, but I was still a little shy knowing the ones who knew would be looking. Then I thought, you know what- screw it, I'll be proud of these babies lol. So I settled on a dress that isn't that low-cut but showed a tasteful amount of upper pole cleavage, which helped distract from the goofy silhouette of them.

Overall, I've received a positive reaction from my friends, family, peers, superiors, etc. Even the ones that don't understand why I'd want to do this are still supportive with a "if you're happy, I'm happy" attitude and I appreciate that. I am military and so is nearly everyone else I'm surrounded by in life so I come from a world where aesthetics don't matter as much and any physical improvement should be focused on being a stronger, faster, tougher warrior, so it's nice that I've still received an overwhelming amount of genuine "good for you!" reactions. All the hugs at the ceremony hurt haha but worth it and I was so thankful that today I felt so much better and was able to be there for my friends/peers.

When I got home, I had a small package waiting with a couple Victoria's Secret Pink-brand bralettes I'd ordered. This is my favorite one!! (sorry for the crap quality of my phone camera) I'm not sure what the exact bra is called but I highly recommend it from VS. I ordered size Medium for my 34B + 475/550cc breasts so whatever size that makes me and it fits perfect. It's neither too constricting or too loose, but just right (and the straps are even adjustable). I like that these particular bralettes are a little longer than most which better accommodates the larger breasts I have now and keeps them from riding up. They are lace which makes them sexy but it's not cheap itchy lace, it's very comfy! Red is my BF's favorite color so I got this one for him hehe but now it's my fave. We are in a long-distance relationship at the moment (gotta love the military, eh?) so I sent him some previews and he loved it! I see my sweetie in 4 days and I can't wait to show him everything in person! I have prepared him though for how silly and boxy they still look nude though haha.

Day 6 Post/Op Updates

The last few days, my pain has continued to rapidly decrease. I think 90% of my discomfort is from the chest muscles being stretched. Most of the time, my discomfort level is the same level as if I did a hard workout so I'm hardly taking anything for pain at this point. The more I lie around, the more I hurt, so the last couple of days I've been up and moving about almost the whole day and it's felt great. I also read that it can help with the bloating problem...

Usually I have daily BMs, sometimes a couple times, and I've slowed to having one every couple days. Technically I'm still in "normal" range and I'm very lucky because I know so many people that have gone over a week after surgery (can't imagine!). It's still slowed for me though, so I'm wondering if maybe that's contributing to the bloating. I'm trying to limit sodium intake and drink lots of fluids but I still look so fat right now. I have a bit of a gut and love handles with little waist definition, when Pre/Op I was looking pretty fab (not to sound conceited- I lost 20 lbs earlier this year though and have been very happy with my midsection...until this bloating set in). I'm hanging at about 8 lbs heavier than Pre/Op. I know this can't be actual wait gain (except for whatever the implants weigh) because I've read and seen pictures of this happening to so many other women after BA and I still just haven't eaten as much as usual, so I'm not stressed, but I'm feeling self-conscious in my clothes right now.

Yesterday and the day before, I spent the whole days out shopping just to get out of the house, boost my spirits, and give myself some light activity. After ALL that and I only bought 1 shirt lol. I'm a poor college student and this BA took up all the money I have for one, and for two, ironically, I'm having a hard time finding clothes to best show off my new body. Before, I was relatively thin (not a skinny person, but thin for an average person if that makes sense) so almost anything could look ok and I liked my clothes a little bit loose. Now I'm finding that loose-fit clothes are unflattering because if they go out for the breasts, but then just hang, they make my entire upper body look bigger than it is. I was always a little more self-conscious in clingy clothes but now, I'm finding that clingy clothes look best because they can accommodate the breasts but then come back in to give the waist definition. Nevertheless, it was kind of fun to just play "dress up" with my new boobs..

While out, I looked at bras and that was quite an adventure! I know I can't wear regular bras for a few months but I tried some on out of total curiosity. Pre/op I was wearing a 34B despite having a 31" ribcage, so really, I think I was a 32B but I didn't like how the shape of the cups on a 32B looked on my body so I usually wore 34Bs even though they were slightly big. Post/op I wanted to be a 34D or 34DD. I found that those bras were definitely too big because the cups extended too wide for my frame. I guess with Bs, it didn't matter because they were always a small cup, but it did matter with Ds. So I went down to a 32. I found one 32DD in the whole store and that gave me the best fit, although I think it's possible I'll be a 32DDD. It's impossible to tell with total accuracy now because they're still so high and the shape/size will change a big as they drop, but I felt satisfied knowing I think my goal size is going to be spot on! That had all been an experiment, but really I was there to look for some more soft cup bras to wear; basically something sports bra-like but with regular straps and maybe a thin lining for nipple coverage so I can wear them with normal clothes. I ended up being completely unsuccessful everywhere I went. If the band was small enough to fit me, the cups were too small; if the cups fit great, the band rode up my body all the way around. I give up and I'm going to order more of those VIctoria's Secret bralettes I posted about previously because it's been the most comfortable and kinda sexy too. I noticed Aerie (by American Eagle) makes some similar ones that are super cute too. I hate buying anything full price but I think as soon as they go on sale or I get a coupon, I'll order some of those too.

Tomorrow is the big day; I'm flying to see my BF and I'm spending 3 weeks with him. I cannot freaking wait. He is so sweet and loves to take care of me even under regular circumstances and now that I'm still recovering from surgery, I know he's been dying to take extra special care of me and I cannot wait to just soak that up haha. I'm also sooooo excited to see his reaction when he picks me up from the airport and sees cleavage busting out of the top of my shirt. I wish I could be 100% healed right now so he could play but for right now, I'm afraid it's still going to have to be "look but don't touch" lol.


My 32B bra on my 32DDD breasts for comparison!


I'm very impressed with the healing of my incisions. The extra incision was from the excision of my tiny, mole-looking extra nipple lol. That incision is bigger than I expected it to be- bigger than the diameter of the piece I wanted removed but I don't even care. If it was in fact an extra nipple like I believe it was, then it wasn't just a surface thing, it would've had "roots" and I trust my PS made the incision as small as possible to get it all, based on how well everything else turned out. I'm just glad the damn thing is gone!!
I'm super impressed with the IMF incisions. He's a magician for fitting 550 and 475 silicone implants through those! I couldn't go back for a post/op appointment because I left town on vacation so he used glue stuff to close them. On the right breast which needed the pocket extended, I could feel what must have been internal stitches because it was really hard and rugged feeling compared to the much smoother feeling left side incision. From what I understand, "bottoming out" occurs often as the result of a breast pocket being extended to accommodate an implant but then not getting "sealed off" with stitches inside at the base so I was happy to feel those hard, internal stitches.
By day 10ish the glue had mostly peeled off and the incisions looked nicely healed so on day 11 I started using silicone sheeting by ScarAway, which I found easily at Wal-Mart. I want to take a minute to recommend this product because I think it's been working wonderfully for me. At first it seems expensive; $18 for eight 1.5" x 3" sheets and there's conflicting reviews out there about the actual product, though studies have shown that silicone sheeting is a great choice for diminishing scars. It's recommended you wear them at least 12 hrs a day and they're supposed to last a week. It comes with a plastic case to store them when not in use. Many reviews say they don't stay on but I had no problems. I've been wearing them about 23 hrs/day, taking them off just to bathe. I take a sheet, cut off the end to make one piece for my small incision, then cut the remaining piece in half for the IMF incisions. As suggested in reviews by others who've used the product with success, I rotate between 2 sheets (2 sets once cut) so that every day when I shower, I rinse off the ones I wore with soap and water and then place them in the case to dry, then when I'm dry, I take the dry set from the previous day to put back on. Washing them and allowing them to fully dry is key and so I've had no issues with getting them to stay on like some people claim to and have gotten them to last just as long, if not longer, than the product says they will, which in my case is 2 weeks since I rotate them.
I believe this product has helped. How much? Well its hard to say because I don't know how my scars would look if I didn't use ScarAway... but I can say it's a much better alternative to messy creams that would just rub off on clothing and I really love them because they create a barrier between the incision and the banded bottom of bras so they never feel irritated. Anyway, that's my 2¢ on silicone sheeting!
Throughout my healing, my scars have become significantly softer. In just 1 month they've gone from feeling hard, rugged, and looking ugly, to feeling much smoother, flatter, and I think they look amazing and much older than just 1 month! I wasn't enthused about IMF incisions at first, but I couldn't be happier now. They fall perfectly in the crease and aren't obvious at all. Everyone heals differently so I didn't know what to expect but the combination of a fabulous plastic surgeon, probably some good genetics, and the silicone sheeting has given me results so far that I'm incredibly happy with!

Week 2-4 Update

Ok so I had a long gap where I didn't update and I would like to now. I was away from home visiting my BF and I didn't get on the computer once because I'm literally so in love with him, I spent every moment with him lol. I could not ask for a better man in the world. For the record, I was married before for 5 years and my ex-husband treated me terribly and was always extremely unsupportive of me getting breast implants because "every girl he knew who got breast implants left their husbands". Talk about insecure! The funny part is I guess that did happen except it was the reverse order for me but had absolutely nothing to do with BA! While away, I hit my 1 year anniversary of dating my current BF. His personality is very non-materialistic, non-superficial, and I wouldn't have expected him to be necessarily supportive of BA, though he would never be unsupportive in anything I wanted. He has been absolutely wonderful throughout this entire journey. I love that he always made me feel beautiful, even when I was 20 lb heavier and several cup sizes smaller! He told me many times before and after BA that he loved my boobs and I believe he really meant it, but now post-BA, he is completely in love with the new boobs too. I did this for ME but it feels so good to be with someone who liked me for me before, but is also just as happy with my BA as I am. :)

I have been going through the regular ups & downs of BA worrying about things; "they look uneven", "is that a slight double bubble?", "my right looks bigger", "I don't like that my nipples stretched", "do my boobs look veiny now?", etc., but my BF was there always telling me not to worry, trust my PS, and I look great. Never once told me to stop being annoying even though I probably was lol. Without me even asking, he was always conscientious about helping me with certain things and making sure I didn't hurt myself. Such a gentleman in every way.

Week 2-4 Update CONTINUED

I copied & pasted and idk why it didn't post the rest:
Before I left, (in my Post/Op Day 6 update) I talked about being bloated and that did not go away for at least 2 weeks. Nothing seemed to help except time. I started getting really constipated which really bothered me because I like knowing that what goes in also comes out. After several days of not going #2, I took some stimulant laxatives and a couple weeks post/op, I had the most painful BM in my life!!! I basically had a fecal impaction going on. I was on the toilet for over an hour literally crying because I've never felt so much pain in my rectum, due to a huge back up of extremely hard stool that took forever to come out. I was bleeding afterward because it was so traumatic. Sorry, I'm not trying to be gross, just trying to be straight-forwad in case my experience can help anyone else. It was awful and after that, I immediately bought some stool softeners. I should have taken stool softeners in the first place. I'm a nurse so I definitely know better and would recommend stool softeners even as a preventative measure following surgery, but I'm bad about taking my own advice sometimes. Learned my lesson though! It took a while, but I am FINALLY back to normal with my bowel movements. Despite adhering to no healthy holiday diet and despite gaining probably a couple lbs for the implants, I am back to my pre/op weight.

I am hoping I can trim down a bit more through my diet so that when I get back to working out, it's a little easier. When I lost 20 lbs last year, it was all through diet and being in the military, it made a world of difference on my run time and pushups (highest PT score in 8 years of service), even though I had cut my working out in half. I start up school again this week which means I also start back up with ROTC. I am really nervous about working out right now. I haven't yet bought a sports bra that gives me a good fit and I don't want to compromise my result by pushing myself too hard too fast... hoping my cadre will be understanding. Anyone have a good sports bra to recommend?? I usually do a lot of running so that is what I'm most concerned about. I can no longer use S/M/L sizing because if it's big enough to fit my breasts, it isn't nearly snug enough in the band. I tried some bras on at Dick's. The closest thing I could find to a decent fit was a 34DD Under Armour High Impact bra, but I really do need a 32DDD instead... so for $60ish, I decided I should wait and order the size I really need online. I found that http://www.barenecessities.com/ sells a lot of bras for bigger cup sizes so I might order a couple off of there. $10 off sports bras today and they also have a semi-annual sale going on. I would definitely like to hear from any of you active ladies with around my size breasts if you've found any specific bra that has worked really well for running though? I still have not had a post/op appointment so I'm going to call the PS office tomorrow to see if I can schedule one. I'd really like at least one appointment in person so he can look and make sure everything's healing as it should and so I can get some clear guidance as to what I'm cleared to do for exercise and what types of bras I'm cleared to wear. Also, if I can get a doctor's note to show my cadre, they won't be able to chew me out for not doing certain exercises during our morning workout sessions.

Sleeping has been interesting. I still toss & turn all night long it seems. I ALWAYS slept on my stomach before surgery so I've had a really hard time adjusting. I've read mixed opinions as to when it's safe to sleep on the sides, but I have been sleeping on my side for a couple weeks at least. I just hate sleeping on my back and my back begins to hurt a lot when I try and then I can't sleep. I tend to believe that our bodies tell us what is ok to do. Though I'm unfamiliar in the plastic surgery realm, as a nurse who worked primarily post/op ortho surgery, the advice most our patients received was a simple, "if it hurts, don't do it." Sleeping on my side hasn't hurt and my breasts still look alright so hopefully it's okay that I've been doing it.

As far as pain, the only thing that hurts is where my right breast pocket was extended. If I reach too far with my right arm or stress the area a little too much, I get sharp pains at the bottom, medial part of the breast. I also have an extremely slight shadow of a line where I think the implant meets my breast tissue, similar to a double bubble but definitely not that bad. After doing some research, I'm not really concerned and I think it will disappear with time as the breast tissue conforms more with the implant. I am the only person that can even tell and I think it's already going away. My right breast still looks a little bigger even though I could swear it was small enough before that an extra 75cc would not make it bigger than the left. Hopefully it goes away, but you know what? It's not noticeable to anyone else and my breasts are WAY more symmetrical than they ever were before so even though I want absolute perfection, I'm still very happy with them the way they are and I knew going into this, that even augmented breasts are usually not perfectly even. They are still remarkably even compared to how they started. I don't like that my right nipple stretched bigger but I will revert to my previous statement- still so happy with them.

My self-esteem regarding my body has dramatically improved. On the inside, I always felt very womanly and even sexy, but then I'd look in the mirror and see ugly, mismatched 12 yr old boobs looking back at me. I finally have a body that matches me though. I don't think any other woman is less sexy due to the size of her boobs, but I was just my own worst critic and 90% of my insecurity came from the assymetry and not the actual size. But I absolutely LOVE having big boobs now! I feel like my body is balanced out so much better and my sex life has even improved... I don't worry about how I look the whole time anymore. I used to try and cover up my boobs with my long hair or hope sex would only happen in the dark so I wouldn't have to feel self-conscious. Without those negative feelings and thoughts, my quality of life has improved. I am just so thankful to God and to my PS that after so many years of being unhappy, I finally feel good about myself.

Before Pics

Some before pics of my little asymmetrical boobs

Before/After Comparison

I just made these collages to compare and omg wow what a difference!!! =D

I love my boobies

Selfie mode makes these look huuuuge. They look more proportionate in person and I am loving them so much. I love how they look now that they've dropped a bit. If you look in older pics, they were much more boxy looking and almost up to my collar bones. Now they're a bit lower, rounded out, and I still have nice upper pole cleavage thanks to the HP shape. I'm just such a happy camper. First week back to college for my final semester and I've noticed a lot more eyes wandering my way than before lol. :)


I finally broke down and bought some actual bras since I had NONE for my new boobs and Victoria's Secret and Bare Necessities had their semi annual sales going on... and the Nike one, which retails for $75, I ended up finding at a Nike outlet for $20. So here they all are captioned with a short review of each. :)

As far as regular bras go, pretty much anything that I find in 32DDD works for me except for bras with a lot of pushup because for the first time in my life I actually fill & need the whole cup so any pushup tends to just push them right out of the top.

In sports bras, I'm going with more of a DD/E just because I like them super tight. I definitely can't go with just any sports bras... as previously mentioned, no S/M/L fits right, they HAVE to hook either in the front or back because otherwise I can't pull a size 32 band over them without hurting them, and after I try a bra on, I jump up & down, and jog in place and if I notice much movement, I won't buy it, so these criteria eliminate 95% of all sports bras.

Again, let me know ladies if you have any fabulous bras to recommend. :)

First Workouts!

A little about my workout background: I am forced to workout 3x/week for ROTC (alternating cardio/speed, cadio/endurance, and muscular endurance) and once I'm commissioned and active duty, it'll be 5x/week. We are *highly* encouraged to workout every day on our own, in addition to these workouts, but I usually don't because quite frankly, I just don't want to- except for running. On my own, I like to do about a 10-mile run 3-4x/week because it's relaxing "me" time and makes me feel better that I'm at least doing SOMETHING on my own to maintain some type of fitness. I'm tested on pushups, situps, and running... I hate doing pushups and situps so other than the morning sessions which I have no control over what we do, I do not do them on my own until about 2 weeks before my next APFT (which is typically every 6 months) because that gives me enough time to be able to max them, and then go back to not doing them lol.

Ever since my surgery, I haven't worked out AT ALL, but this was the first full week ROTC picked back up for the semester and since I'm 43 days post/op, it seemed safe. I'm going to cover the 3 APFT events since that's ultimately what I'm most concerned with:
Pushups- Nopety nope! I get about 1/4 of the way down and it's SO uncomfortable that I have to stop. I feel intense pressure that makes them feel like they're just going to pop right out of my body and that can't be good, so I'm going to put them off for quite a while longer. As you'll notice if you flex your chest at all, it makes submuscular implants want to displace to the sides which down the line might not be as bad, but right now, even though from the outside I look 100% healed, I doubt the inside is 100% healed. Post/op, a capsule of scar tissue forms around the implant, which is good and I think can help keep them in place, but my guess is that displacing them too much before being 100% healed inside will prevent that capsule from forming exactly how it should... Being in the front leaning rest position (starting position of a pushup), doesn't hurt at all, but going down does so I just don't plan to work out my chest until I have to... I wish I never had to again...
Situps- Ok I'm supposed to do about 80 reps in 2 mins to max my APFT and that's a pretty fast pace. The faster I do situps, the more flexed and tighter my chest muscles are. So basically, I can do situps at a steady, SLOWER pace without my chest hurting, but if I go at my regular, fast pace, they DO hurt (same feeling as with the pushups except not nearly as intense). I suppose I will gradually increase my speed of the reps over the next several weeks. One thing I'm not so sure about is when something is uncomfortable enough that I shouldn't do it... I'm being really careful right now but the fact is that working out is not supposed to be comfortable no matter what, so it's hard to tell what is uncomfortable that will always be uncomfortable and what is uncomfortable because I shouldn't be doing it at this point.
Running- Running, surprisingly, hasn't been nearly as bad as I thought it would be! With a really good sports bra, my boobs don't move enough for me to be uncomfortable. It does feels a little weird because I'm not used to having anything there, but I definitely don't feel like I'm hurting them at all- they've been champs lol. I have had to practice more control though over how flexed my chest is while I run, and interestingly enough, the amount of discomfort I feel depends on my pace. I can run with my chest relaxed and they feel just fine then; this is typically when I'm running more for endurance and therefore, my pace is a bit slower and it's just easier overall for my body. Today, however, we did sprints and that was a completely different feeling. Most people, including myself, tend to pump our arms more when we sprint which also causes tightening in the chest; our bodies are just all around more tense during sprints, so they're a bit uncomfortable to do at this point. Oh well, I actually always sucked with sprints anyway lol!... my body kinda only has one pace that it likes to go so over a short distance, it's crap, but over a longer distance, it ends up being pretty good. Over all, the biggest hindrance to me running right now has been more because I'm out of shape from not running the last 43 days than because of the surgery itself!

"Drop and Fluff"

This phrase, which I didn't understand before, finally makes sense. I think they've dropped and fluffed beautifully so I hope they stay like this and don't change much more!

Full body pics

Pics were requested that show how this size looks on my frame so here they are for anyone interested. I didn't post before because I have identifying tattoos and I really want to be 100% anonymous... sorry for the stickers to cover up. Though I think my boobs look in proportion, looking at these pics actually makes me wish I'd gone bigger... like 650 lol... but I'm a little thick right now so I guess when I get my body trimmed down again they'll look bigger.

3 month update

I haven't posted in a while because honestly I'm not as satisfied as I had hoped to be. I'm trying to be positive because I hated my boobs before and I love that I feel better about myself now, but I still get a little bummed out over some things:

I had 475cc and 550cc placed to correct my asymmetry. My PS said he would under-correct, rather than over-correct. He definitely over-corrected. My right boob which was smaller before is now noticeably bigger AND the crease is lower than the left when it used to be higher... I think the pocket was a little over-dissected. I'm paranoid that I'm going to bottom-out in the future because I don't remember the crease being as low as it is now, or maybe I'm just paranoid and fixated on it. The incisions are a good way to measure because they were perfectly in the crease after surgery and now they're maybe a cm higher than the crease which suggests that the implants are in fact migrating. Another thing I hate is that there is an indentation on the right breast (all of my problems are with righty) which appears to be where the breast tissue meets the implant. I thought this might blend over time and get better but it's not going away at all. It's not terribly noticeable but in dimmer lighting, it creates a pretty noticeable shadow. The shape at the creases was pretty odd looking after surgery and it's certainly rounded out more, but I'm just worried that the right one especially is going to keep dropping. I'll try to post better pictures later (I delete all the pics that don't mask the problems well, but I will try to save a few in the future), but at certain angles, it looks like I have way too much volume in the base of the breast, with a lot less upper pole cleavage except when I wear a pushup bra. Lastly, I don't like that my nipples are so much bigger now and I have ugly veins that show, that I never had before. That last bit was, of course, expected and is simply my body's reaction to being stretched, but I still don't like it. Compounded with the previous issues, I'm just not that thrilled with my result... still happy to have boobs, but a little bummed out they aren't as great as I thought they would be.

I may try sclerotherapy within the next few months to try and get rid of the ugly areola veins. I'm not sure what to do about the rest. I don't want to put too much money into my breasts right now when I haven't even had kids yet. If I do bottom out in the future, that's going to really bother me and I'll want to fix it. If they stay as they are, then I plan to live with them, have kids within the next few years, and then prob have a revision to reverse the anticipated damage of children and correct any deficiencies at that time.
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