I'm scheduled for my mommy makeover in two days!! ...
I'm scheduled for my mommy makeover in two days!! I've been putting off writing my story because I think I've been in denial... But it's gonna happen! I'm beyond nervous.... It's been a total emotional roller coast since I decided rondo this about 3 months ago! I have always wished I had bigger breasts. Never had a problem with weight until the last few years... After baby 3 I lost all my weight and then a few years later started slowly gaining. Then I had my 4th baby and never got that weight off. I've always worked out and have been really busting it at the gym and have definitely seen improvement and feel amazing. But my belly just WONT GO AWAY AT ALL!! I can live with everything else and keep working at everything else. But my stomach just brings me down every day. It gets in the way and wearing fitted pants is a joke. I can't believe I might actually have it gone in less than 48 hours!! I'm nervous about the boobs because I still haven't decided on size. I originally started with silicone 365 -380. Then last week I asked her to order 400. And just yesterday asked if I could get a bigger implant. So she ordered 450 but said she wasn't sure if it would fit in my pocket. Still not sure what I'll end up with .... Maybe the fit will be the deciding factor....
Since reading in here I thought maybe I would need lipo in my flanks but Dr told me I had a nice shape and didn't need it. Was thinking about going back to her a few days ago so she could see me with jeans on but her schedule won't allow more time for lipo so it's not an option. Praying I don't regret not having it done after going through the Tummy tuck! I totally plan on continuing to kill it at the gym so hopefully I can take care of my flanks with good old sweat and healthy eating!
I've never had surgery so of course terrified that something will go wrong! Hard mental battle fighting the negative thoughts that I'm being irresponsible by putting myself at risk with this surgery and then making myself so unavailable during my recovery time. But I know this will be a good thing for me and will improve my self confidence and just my day to day life with this belly gone!!!
I'm 5'9 about 195. my lowest weight since having kids was 150 about 8 years ago. I was 193 when I got pregnant with my 4th and got close to 230 with all of my big babies! Would love to get around 170 in the next year... But I'm telling you- having my pooch gone will be indescribable! Only sad thing is I'll be losing my birthmark which I really love. But it's either the birthmark or the pooch....
Last minute preparations!
Just spoke with surgery center.... Seems I am ready to go for tomorrow. Just need to finish cleaning my house, finish decorations and get tubs put back up in the attic, and get some groceries. My mind is spinning and when I sit and think about it my heart starts racing. So I just need to stay calm, love on my kids and think positive! I know there isn't any way to truly prepare for tomorrow and the weeks of recovery ahead of me. Praying my body is as strong as I think it is and with the help of my sister and hubby everything will go smoothly! Just remembered I need to get my stool softener and maybe a new robe. :)
And going to Mass tonight may help my nerves. Have a great day everyone!
I made it through!!
3 Dec 2015
Day of treatment
I can't even express how grateful I am that I made it through surgery and WOKE UP! I was so afraid of not! My husband and sister have been rock stars-I'm so grateful for them!
I got to the surgery center at 6 am and had some waiting between paperwork and prepping... But every one was wonderful and do their best at keeping me calm. The anesthesiologist
was amazing- he was so kind and professional and patient and putting my IV in was a breeze. Did not hurt at all! I was so tired because I barely got any sleep last night so I was in and out of wanting to just sleep and wanted to run outta that place fast! When they'd come into the waiting room I was saying to myself -don't call my name! I truly was so scared of not waking up! But once I was ready and Dr. Haws showed up I was ready to get it over with and was feeling some excitement. She made me feel 100% at ease and that I was in good hands. We had not decided on implant size .. She showed up with a long duffle bag and unzipped it and there were about six different sizes just waiting to be chosen. By today I was between 400-450. She understood my wishes and was concerned that the 450 may not for great so I went into surgery not knowing exactly what I would get but trusting that she go as close to the 450 as she could as long as it fit right and wasn't too tight and looked proportional. And I was absolutely fine with that cause I trusted her completely. My husband met her for the first time today and he loved her too. And after she drew on me and left I didn't see her again!
The nurses wheeled me to the OR and had given me a an "I don't have a care in the world" drug through my IV to relax me and I remember feeling calm and being a little in awe of the OR when I got in there... Not because it was warm or welcoming but just because I couldn't believe I was in one and couldn't believe what was about to take place. I remember very little after that .. Might've had a short conversation with someone and don't remember them telling me they were putting me under. Next think I know I was in the recovery room hearing my husband and nurses' voices and trying to open my eyes. I was sooooo groggy and my throat was by far the worst. It was sore from the tube and incredibly dry and pastey. I wasn't concerned much with pain at that time though- I was just so so grateful that I woke up and made it though!
My husband was given all of the directions and I was hearing some but so out of it. They send me home with a catheter in (which I am so grateful for NOW because I don't have to get up! And I have peed A LOT!). Gonna be interesting having my husband or sister take that out tomorrow????.....
Getting my clothes on, getting up and out of bed and into a wheel chair, and getting into the car was just horrible. I was in so much pain and so out of it! I wanted to scream at them -why are you kicking me out and sending me home!! I'm not ready!!! But they do 30-50 surgeries a day there (which is crazy!!) so they know what they're doing. The 30 min ride home was a blur... But did enjoy listening to my husband tell me about his experience there and what the doctor said. She called him when surgery was over cause he didn't stay in the waiting room... She said everything went perfect. Ended up with the 450 implants and they looked perfect for my body.... Fit perfect in my chest cavity and for my shoulder width. My abdominal muscles were separated 2 inches so those were sewn up. And I only have one drain which so far hasn't been much of a bother. I think they dumped 40cc before I left the surgery center and we just dumped another 25cc at about 9 tonight.
When I got home I ate some crackers and slowly drank sips of water to see how my stomach would feel. I was fine so took my Percocet and antibiotic and was able to rest. My pain never really went away but it was low enough that I could relax. My tummy is of course very sore and my Breast soreness is all by my armpits... I am hard as a rock and numb spots on my belly but honestly haven't felt or touched much. Just leaving everything alone (compression garment and ace bandage around breasts) and focusing on rests and keeping an eye on my tubes and staying on top of my meds!
I am pretty shocked (as my husband and sister are too) how mentally alert I am. I've felt awake and aware and happy and pray this positive attitude lasts. I've actually been enjoying the quiet while my sister handles my four kids and her three ... Hehe
Anxious to see how tonight goes and if my pain will be less tomorrow. Hoping so! Missed my boys' basketball game tonight which was really hard but that's just part of it. I'll miss two more on Saturday and probably the away game next Thursday (that's my first pre-op visit) but hoping to get the next Saturday's game!
Praying everyone is doing well wherever you are on your journey! And here's to WAKING UP!!!!????????????????
Quick brag on my daughter!
3 Dec 2015
Day of treatment
My 10 year old daughter was very worried and scared about this surgery. I tried to be as open and honest as I could. She doesn't know about the implants but everything else that's appropriate for her age I've shared with her.
Yesterday she started working on a sewing project and was so intent on finishing. Had no idea what it was.
Well she made me a little ornament and it's supposed to be praying hands with stitched words that read "We're praying for you ".
My husband gave it to me this morning on our way to the surgery center. I pretty much lost it and I kept it in my hands until surgery time.
Getting home and seeing her was Priceless. I could see the relief on her face and I felt it through my whole body. And then about 10 minutes later my sister brought me a note that Lily wrote me. I added pictures of her sewing gift and her letter to me.
I am overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness, creativity and faith. She makes me want to be a better woman.
Praise Jesus I'm home!!! ????????????????????????????????????????
Day 1 Post Op
Made it through my first night and it wasn't bad! As long as I keep up with the Percocet every 4 hours it seems to keep the pain controlled. There is always some dull pain or burning but something I can totally live with if I keep up. I waiting an extra hour between doses this morning and I paid for it. Won't be doing that again today and probably tomorrow...
Got my catheter out this morning so one tube down... And my one drain left. Since I'm sitting most of the time the drain really hasn't been an issue. I'm sure when I'm walking around a little more in a few days it will be annoying but I'm determined to have it out on Thursday at my one week check! I dumped 18 ml this morning after 12 hours since the last one. Yesterday about 65-70 ml total was dumped from the time after surgery until last night about 9:00. So I'm headed in the right direction. My wrap kept coming lose around my breasts and I woke up this morning with my right one pretty much unwrapped. So I put my zip up sports bra on and it's fits perfect! I am pleasantly surprised! I bought two of them at Kroger of all places and they were half off. Still left the gauze over my nipples cause I've read they can be very sensitive and so far having had any issues. My sister checks out my tape underneath and said they look clean and the skin around looks good. I'll try to get some pics today. Still haven't taken off my CG and am in no hurry too. Not ready to see the big mark on my belly or my drain entrance area! I don't feel too scuzzy yet... Took a good shower yesterday before we left for surgery and washed my hair then so my hair will be good for awhile. My hair doesn't need to be washed everyday... It's actually better to wait 3-4 days unless I'm just sweating from working out. I'll probably wipe down some areas later and wash my face but otherwise I feel pretty good. I'll post pics later when I'm ready to take off the garment. Still haven't seen my boobs at all except from by view. above. Will try to take a peak with my bra and gauze off later today or tomorrow. Surprisingly I'm not in a hurry to check it all out. Just focusing on resting and getting this drain out and praying my first real bathroom trip isn't a nightmare! :)
Day 2 post op
I'm doing well today. Got some pretty decent sleep last night and was comfortable considering the circumstances. Had some scrambled eggs this morning that my disinter made for me and now having some beans and rice concoction. ????. My intestines are definitely waking up... Trying to not be nervous about what is (hopefully) coming! Going to attempt a short walk and a shower later. Missing my 11year old's first basketball games today at noon and 2 so trying not to be down about that. Put my socks back on this morning (took them off over night) but did loosen my garment a bit this morning. I'm sure it's the swelling and my bowels that are causing the tightness! Had 25 cc dumped this morning from my one drain and that was over a 22 hour period so getting there! I get so tired when I'm reading or typing.... And I'm over the itching!!
Took one Percocet at my last dosage time and have felt OK. I'm sur for another dose soon so ill take one more and maybe try some Tylenol next. Should be finishing up my antibiotic tomorrow morning and I've been taking colace three times a day since yesterday. Praying I can go before tonight!!! I'm pretty bored but a short walk is exhausting and I'm content now just to be still and quiet. Anxious about my shower tonight cause I haven't had my garment off yet (maybe I'll wait until tomorrow...). My boobs are pretty much pain free. Once in awhile I'll have some soreness around my armpits but it's seriously like nothing happened. They are just bigger and that's it. Crazy! Hope there's nothing else I should be doing. Have my zip up bra on and otherwise leaving them alone!
Day 3 post op
Survived over night with just taking regular strength Tylenol. Slept pretty good. Finished my antibiotic this morning. Highlight of the day was my first shower. It was slow going. My husband had a stool in the shower for me. Did ok with the frame rate off... Just took my time and tried not to star at the incisions or drain site. Felt pretty nauseous when I was drying off. Had to sit for awhile. My bb had small trickles of blood coming from it during the shower. I left the gauze in it the whole time. Felt so good to be wrapped back up in everything. I have one other spot on my right side with some drops of blood but nothing to be alarmed about I don't think... CG doesn't feel as comfortable as it did since taking it off and readjusting all of the pads ... Stomach is definitely a shock to see. Trying not to be too critical... My bb seems too far to the right and my right breast seems a lot bigger than my left. I won't comment on the lumps and uneven skin on my tummy cause I know it's way too early. Just gotta keep focusing on resting and healing!
Day 4 post op
Hey all!! Still laying around just trying to stay patient! Been sleeping ok but my tummy has been so uncomfortable due to constipation and it just feels like it's going to explode! I try to loosen my binder some but doesn't give much relief. I've been taking colace 3 times a day and drank 2 servings of miralax today. I've had bubbling and some gas release starting which I know is a sign. But this is causing me the most anxiety!!
I did get my 2nd shower today and it went much better than yesterday. Dumped 12 ml from my drain this morning so that's improving.
I'm definitely feeling restless and and tired of just feeling off and uncomfortable but I just keep telling myself this will pass sooner than it seems and will all be worth it in the end.
My husband is seeming very overwhelmed with his job and having these extra kids in the house doesn't help. He got home at 9 after scouting a bb game after work and picking my boys up from the gym. Then tried to dig a pencil tip from my son's heel after he stepped on his school bag and then gave my other son a haircut. And despite the fact that everyone is on edge and my house is falling apart, all I can really think about is POOPING!!!!
Side note- I ran out of Percocet last night so my sister drove me to my doctors office which is about a 30 min drive so I could pick up my prescription. The Tylenol has been doing ok but felt like I'd like the Percocet for nighttime. While I was there I asked if the nurse could just look at my incisions and drain site and belly button and she said everything looked great. I did need a tighter bra though, or just wrap them with ace bandage again. But nice to know my wounds are on the right track!
Day 5 post op
Well I woke up feeling pretty down and uncomfortable because of my tight bubbly tummy and unhappy intestines! Now I slept really good -about 8 hours with just one wake up to pee and take Tylenol. I can't even remember what I did when I woke up- think I took a colace and my daughter brought me eggs and orange juice which I didn't eat much of because all I wanted was stuff to come OUT! Then suddenly the feeling came on, some gas came out, and I sat in my chair wondering if maybe, just maybe, the drought would be over. and then I was up and headed to the bathroom and it finally happened!! My first poop!! Gross maybe but the best feeling I've had since I woke up from surgery and realized I hadn't left my children orphans! And even better, there was no strain or pain. It was easy. I almost cried and praised Jesus and felt like a new woman! I have been on just Tylenol for almost two days and I really think that Percocet was the culprit. I'm glad I didn't refill my prescription cause I probably would've taken more and still been in pain.
After that glorious event I relaxed a bit more and than took my first journey out of my bedroom and into the living room. I've literally been in my bedroom "suite" since I got home minus my short walk outside. I homeschool and my sister's kids are here too so there are 7 kids in this house all day. Being locked away has been necessary! But my sister had to get my kids to classes today that they take out of the house and a sitter came for hers so I was out there this morning barking orders from the couch so they could make it out the door on time. And then I rather enjoyed sitting by the fireplace and catching up on some tv while the sitter had the kids outside and elsewhere for the afternoon. I had another bm in the afternoon (woot woot!!) and enjoyed being around the kids and just part of life again. Missed my boys' basketball game tonight which I hate but my sister went (probably the only time she'll see them play all season so this was good!) and I just hung out with the other kids and we watched Christmas with the Kranks and ate Papa Murphys pizza, which was divine! All in all it was a great day. I didn't shower and I need to shave badly, but nothing can drag me down today! I am exhausted and more sore than yesterday but I was up and down a lot. My house is just very loud (and horribly messy - it's hard to just let it be right now but I must). It made me realize I need to enjoy these last few days while my sister is here so I can rest and heal as much as possible. Life is gonna smack me in the face next Monday! About ready for bed. Gonna watch Eat, Pray, Love till my eyes get heavy, eat some applesauce, and enjoy the quiet. Hope everyone is well!
Day 6 post op
Hey ladies! Not much new to report except my bathroom schedule seems to be back on track! Yippee!!! And I was able to take a shower by myself today! I just went slow and had everything ready... A step stool in my shower to sit on and I have a detachable shower head which is a must! And I had a next ready by my bathroom sink/counter with towels and all supplies I would need to get myself wrapped back up and ready for the day. I even had some music going. Felt great! My right breast is still significantly bigger than the left which is concerning. Everything else looks pretty good. Spent most of the day out with everyone else. House is totally falling apart. My sister is doing a great job just can't keep up with everything. She took my big kids I a field trip today and I had a sitter here for the little kids so was able to enjoy some quiet tv time sitting on my couch again. Just hard to let it all go right now. But I don't have a choice.
Still taking colace 1-2 times a day and only taking extra strength Tylenol now for over two days. I've been ok. Biggest complaint is still back pain when I'm walking and just the tightness!!! And ever since my first shower my drain is just uncomfortable where it's coming out of my skin. It just seems like I can't get it back to how it was initially position.
Dumped 10 ml this morning after 24 hours so hopeful I'll get it removed tomorrow! Hope everyone is doing awesome! Only 16 more days till Christmas! Wow!
Days 7--10 post op. :)
I've meant to keep up my journey better than this... Suddenly 4 days have flown by and I'm behind. I have such a terrible memory! So on Thursday (day 7 post op) I had my 1 week post op. I was sooooo excited all week to get to that day anticipating my drain removal and just reassurance that healing was on track.
Appointment went great! Nurse of course said the breast size difference would figure itself out... And the fact that I'm right handing could cause the right side muscles to swell more.. Who knows. I'm looking forward to seeing what Dr. Haws thinks next week. Nurse took out my drain! Yippee!! I had dumped 10 ml that morning and that was after 24 hours from last time. Man that drain coming out was something. Didn't hurt at all!! But it was almost worse than pain cause it felt like my insides where being mixed up and just feeling the tube go from my right hip all the way to my left was just bazaar. I actually got a little dizzy... But it was over quick. Actually when the cut the stitches around the drain tube-that hurt. She said they were right! The she checked incisions and clipped any stitches that were sticking out and then retaped. Said my belly button looked good but was very bruised. Put some peroxide in it and I watched it bubble up. Then just a little pad over it. Glaze and tape over my drain opening so it can ooze if needed. And then instructions to just wash over tape with dial soap in shower and over my exposed bb and drain site. Then cover back up when done. Showering was amazing without that tube!! I'm also supposed to start squeezing each breast (lower) a couple of times 3 x a day to help them continue their journey. Short walks just no getting my heart rate up. Crazy how fast our bodies can heal. And protein, water and vitamin C are my friends. Just felt amazing walking out of their like a granny! Missed my boys' basketball game again that night. :(. But my sister and out 5 youngest goes some errands done (I actually sat in the car a lot with little kids while her and our big girls ran in) and we for food and drive around our neighborhood to enjoy the Christmas lights. When we for home operation make Christmas ornaments began! It was craft station central in my kitchen.
I was exhausted! And tried laying on my side since I got the ok but my tummy wasn't having it so back to my recliner it was. In time I'll be back in my bed. Just gotta be patient. :). Hope y'all are well!!
4 weeks post op
Wow! Haven't posted in over two weeks. How is that possible??!! I'm doing great! At my two week check was told that I'm being great and to baby mySelf a little for the next week but otherwise can do whatever I want as long as I listen to my body ( wear any bra, start working out, sex, etc). Take came off of breast incisions and retaped tummy. Said to keep tape on and replace every week. No scar therapy /she just keeps the rape on. Started working out a few days later (walks and videos /just modified). That was over a week ago and it's getting so much easier! My workouts are Getting more intense and loving the sweat! Sleeping in my side, pretty much back to normal around the house. Only pain comes from being bumped, some nerve pains in tummy areas, and my ab muscles occasionally. Definitely feel stretched-esp when I'm power walking or twisting. Can sit up from laying position fairly easily and getting in and out of bed is also easy.
Had to go in at 3 weeks to get some stitched cut that were sticking out and those areas have since healed great! Left breast is still high and harder / right had dropped and is so much softer. Looks awesome. Go in next week for a check (will be 5 weeks). Amazing how fast I have healed as how life changing the tummy improvement has been! My confidence is sky high -and I know it's gonna get even better! Can't wait to really hit it in the gym and get my arms and legs even more toned and to work on my 6 pack! Ha! Hope y'all are well. Happy New Year!