I like to pretend to blame baby for my awful...
I like to pretend to blame baby for my awful breasts when in reality they've been horrible for as long as I can remember. But I CAN blame her for the stretch marks and saggy stomach - even though I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. But now it's time for a change. Like I said, my breasts have always been horrible. I remember in high school when all my girlfriends could prance around bra less at the prom. I on the other hand, duct taped a strapless bra all the way around my body just to hold them and keep them up all night in my dress! Duct taping became a regular thing for additional proms and weddings for years to come. Sad but true. Add a 40+ lb pregnancy weight gain and 15 months of breastfeeding, followed by a complete change in lifestyle and a 50+ lb weight loss and you have yourself a couple of disasters on your (my) chest.
I had really come to terms with my breasts as they are. In a good bra and the right shirt or dress they look half decent. For a little while anyway, until they start spilling out and I'm adjusting every chance I get. What bothered me the most is how uncomfortable I am around my own husband. I ALWAYS wear a bra. I change in private. I'm always making a conscious effort to hide myself when I'm topless. And it started to make me sad. Sad for me and sad for him too! So almost overnight we both decided it was time to do something. I researched and talked to some friends, went on consultations and chose a doctor. And then in the 11th hour, I decided to add a tummy tuck. I watched videos and SWORE I would never do it. But when I looked in the mirror and imagined how happy I'd be with new perky breasts, I looked down and thought "but that's still gonna suck." I will never do this again so I might as well do it all at once, right?!
My surgery is in a few days. I'm getting a breast lift, implant and tummy tuck. I feel like I'm dreaming. People ask if I'm excited and I almost don't have an answer. I am excited but it doesn't seem real. I've wanted my breasts fixed for YEARS and the fact that it's actually happening has not sunk in yet. Today I showered and washed with the special soap (supposed to use it for 5 days pre op) and it hit me a little bit. I'm having all the normal pre surgery jitters and thoughts...some I don't even want to type out! And wondering if I'm going to regret all this when I'm done. But there's no turning back now! I just want it to be Wednesday already!!!
I contemplated writing a review but I so relied on all your amazing reviews when making the decision, I thought it was only fair to add my experience to the group. I'll add before pictures soon! Hope to get some responses and some support while I mentally FREAK OUT these next few days!!!
1 more day!!!!!!
One more wake up until my surgery. I literally can't believe it. Actually writing this post is giving me butterflies! I have been worried sick all week because my daughter (3 yo) has a really bad cold and I've been terrified I'm going to wake up sick. I've been praying and praying I won't get it. I'd just hate to have to reschedule after all the pre op prep I've done - physically and mentally.
I've been drinking tons of water, showering with the special soap, eating a very strict low sodium diet, taking Arnika and prepping the house for my recovery. Pre op appts and blood work all went well. I'm so ready. I just can't believe it's really happening. I still feel like I'm dreaming. Tomorrow at this time surgery should be about done. OMG!!!!!!
1st Day Home
WOW. That pretty much sums up the past 20 or so hours. Surgery went well. Took longer than I thought - 6 hours! When I got home the pain was still pretty managed from the epidural and meds from surgery. I was sipping water and eating oyster crackers, just to get something in my belly, then I had a little bit of a fruit and spinach smoothie. Big mistake. I threw up all the liquid I had taken in since I got home. Lesson learned.
My doctor sends Mommy Makeover patients home with a nurse for the first 24 hours. She has been a Godsend. I honestly don't know how women go home on their own. She has been so helpful.
I also bought a toilet seat riser. If you're planning a tummy tuck BUY ONE NOW. Lifesaver. Ive been able to go to the bathroom unassisted because of this. I can't even imagine having to crouch down so far to the toilet without it.
The one biggest problem I'm having is that I CANT SLEEP!!! I had every intention of being in a drugged out sleep coma for 3 days. No. Such. Luck. On a normal day if I take half a dose of NyQuil, I'm knocked out in 5 minutes and for 8 hours. So far I've only slept 4 hours. Miserable.
I see the doctor later today and I'm super excited to see everything. I'm not able to peek at anything before he sees me. Right now by boobs look big and high, but not that different than they do normally in a good push up bra. I can't wait to take this bra off and not have them fall down to my belly button!!! I haven a feeling I'm going to cry haha. My drains are not producing a lot of fluid, so I'm hoping they can come out early next week. They're just a little annoying and bother me. My tummy incision is sore and the nurse said its probably from the drains.
All in all I feel pretty good. Me and the nurse are worried the pain meds are what make me nauseous so I'm taking half doses and supplementing with extra strength Tylenol. That seems to be helping really well.
Night 2. Better than the first!
Night 2 was so much better. Thank God! My nurse was worried the pain meds were making me sick so she staggered them a little bit and I was taking lots of half doses intermittently. After my appointment yesterday I was in quite a bit of pain. I think i felt so good that I was a little cocky going in there. Needless to say, the outing wore me out. Lesson learned, again. So my husband has gotten me back on track with full doses of meds. If I eat small amts I seem to be ok. I slept through the night until 230am. I had to be adjusted and took a Tylenol and actually went back to sleep until 7. Success!! I just had some toast and jello and meds and now I'm dozing off as I write this. Ill post pics when I'm a little more coherent later. :)
I didn't want to post any before pictures until I had some afters. So here we are! 1 day post op during my office visit.
Day 3 post op. Feeling half human again!
I keep forgetting what day it is. The last 3 days are partially a blur. I feel really good pain wise. I'm only taking my muscle relaxer at night to help me sleep, the occasional tylenol, and my pain meds every 8 hours. At night I sleep from 11-2:30 then wake up super uncomfortable and have to have my husband sit me up and readjust my pillows. Then I'm usually up for an hour or 2 until I fall back asleep until 7:30ish. Because I'm feeling a lot better and in less pain, I am SO BORED during the day! I'm getting really antsy and sick of laying in bed all day. I walk around quite a bit and I'm staying hydrated so I'm peeing a lot too. I thought I would enjoy being pampered by my parents and husband but its getting old real fast! And these darn drains!!! I have 2 tummy drains and honestly thats the worst part of all of this. I have virtually zero pain in my breasts. I'm shocked because I've heard a lift is really painful. I don't even feel stretched out from the implants or anything. Granted I haven't removed my surgical bra on my own, but I'm still pleasantly surprised at the lack of pain I'm feeling there. My tummy is another story. Most of the pain and discomfort comes from the drain sites so I CANNOT wait for those to come out. My lower back is sore but thats to be expected because I can't really stand up straight yet.
All in all I'm feeling a lot better than I thought I would at this point so thats giving me a positive outlook. I'm looking forward to showering and being able to spend more time out of bed. But that will come soon enough. Its only been 4 days!
Day 5 post op. Over it.
I am tired. And annoyed. And not feeling like this whole thing was worth it right now. Breast lift & implant? No big deal. But this tummy tuck has me second guessing the whole thing. I'm going stir crazy and can't sleep, even though I'm exhausted. I still need help sitting up to get out of bed which is SUPER inconvenient and annoying. My parents and husband have been GREAT. No complaints there. But I just really want to do things for myself. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'll be spending it in bed. Fun! I know I should be thankful I was even able to get all this work done that I've wanted for so long, and I am. I really am. I'm just in a slump. And I want to hold my baby. (And by baby I mean my 3 year old daughter.) I want to hug her and spend more time with her than I've been able to.
On the plus side I had one tummy drain removed yesterday which was LIFE CHANGING. My drains were bothering me so much and the one they removed was definitely the problem child. I feel so much better with just one left. My dr typically doesn't do breast drains unless absolutely necessary and I am SO thankful for that. I'll be getting all my stitches and the other drain out on Friday - 3 more wake ups! So thats a big positive. I can't wait.
I was feeling so good yesterday before and after my doctor's appointment I think I over did it. And by over did it I mean stayed out of bed a little too long and showed my mom what to make for dinner. I also picked up a can of black beans from the pantry and brought them to the counter. I know it sounds silly, but I think I'm feeling the repercussions. My arms are a little sore and my breasts are sore in places they never have been before. Today I'm going to reluctantly stay in bed a relax a LOT. And ice with lots of frozen peas.
Ok enough complaining from me. I'm happy - I really am. I've gotta keep looking forward and thinking positive!
Day 8 Post Op MM. Feeling So Much Better!!!
WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES! The past couple days have been a little rough. But I'm feeling so much better today. I took my first shower yesterday. 1 week post op. I know, gross. (I had taken sponge baths in-between, FYI.) And it was AWFUL. I feel so incredibly uncomfortable without my compression wrap on my tummy and the weight of my breasts felt strange. My husband got in with me to wash my hair and I kept saying I couldn't breathe. I think I'm overly nervous about my stitches and my one drain. I have no feeling anywhere so there's no pain. I'm not really sure what my deal was? I just know it was not fun. But I'm clean and this morning I feel a lot better. I'm not loving my look yet, but I know that's normal. Got a lot of healing to do.
Stitches come out soon. I've been saving my one last Valium to take the morning of. I felt nothing when the one drain came out so I feel like I shouldn't feel anything when the stitches come out either but I'm still anxious about it. Especially after taking some close up pictures of everything yesterday. There are SO. MANY. Stitches! I wish I could be knocked out for that.
I'm able to get out of bed on my own occasionally now. THANK GOD. The tummy pain I felt before when I sat up is almost gone. Its almost like it went away overnight. Crazy what a difference that 1 week mark makes. I can also move my arms a lot more now. I was VERY careful in following the "no arms over head for one week" rule. I barely moved my arms at all. And again, overnight, everything feels better than it did. I'm not overdoing it, but I can tell I have more range and I'm less nervous now.
So hopefully the misery is over. I'm REALLY looking forward to trying on clothes and bathing suits. I've already done a little online shopping this week and bought a few strapless tops. I haven't been able to wear strapless ANYTHING since high school, and even then, when I look back at pictures, I shouldn't have! And bathing suits - oh how excited I am to be able to wear normal bathing suits!!! I have a couple great one pieces that I love but its always been a struggle to manipulate my sagging skin into them in such a way they didn't look all hangy and deflated to the naked eye. And then theres always the struggle of being in the water...those little buggers always managed to float right out of the suit. No joke. Then I'd have to dunk and try to shove those things back in without looking like a total weirdo. I'm not sure I'll ever wear a bikini again. I had a LOT of stretch marks and it was impossible to get rid of them all. But at least they're all BELOW my belly button now! So maybe a high waisted one if those things are still in style when I'm ready?!
Got my stitches and last drain out yesterday! I feel like a new woman. Feeling really good - have not been on any pain meds or tylenol for a few days now. Just a sleep aid at night. I'm still most comfortable in bed, but I've been trying to spend more time downstairs with my family during the day. But sitting in a chair and even the couch, just isn't cozy like my bed! My back is still over compensating for my weak core so I need pillows and full back support to be really comfortable.
Showering still feels weird - I think its because my tummy is so numb and it feels so strange to be out of my compression wrap. But, I can shower without help which is a plus!
My incisions are itchy. Itchy is good, it means healing! Its just so hard not to scratch!
I'm amazed at how well I feel. I honestly wasn't expecting to feel this good, especially after the way I felt this time last week! I never thought I'd recover. I can get out of bed myself which is something I never thought I'd be able to do again. Ok, so thats a little dramatic, but when you're in the thick of it, your mind wanders and you think crazy thoughts ha!
I'm also really surprised how normal my breasts feel. I thought they would feel like foreign objects on my chest for a long time. I look in the mirror now and I feel like this is just how they always should have been! And they're not even settled yet! I have lots of healing to do and I'm really excited to see how everything turns out. I put on a front zip sports bra today just to see how it looked and felt like a barbie doll. I used to have to wear the tightest, maximum support sports bras that smushed & flattened my breasts to my body to eliminate any jiggle or bounce when I worked out. I only dreamed of looking the way I looked today! Can't wait to buy some cute outfits and get back in the gym now!
Day 12 - Rough Day
So today was a tough one. I've been feeling good. Really good. Maybe TOO good. I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to - I haven't cooked, cleaned, done laundry, picked up my daughter or anything!!! But today when I looked at my tummy incision, I noticed a piece of it was different than the rest. It looked like it was coming apart. I took a pic with my phone and immediately called the dr. They told me to come in just so they could take a peek. I almost never freak out about things like that but this just looked wrong. So all day, I moped around, all depressed because I thought I had an infection or some sort of major wound problem. (I'll spare you the picture.) Finally, 3:15 rolls around and the dr takes one look and says its completely normal! THANK GOD! But, they told me to take it easy. Which I am. The only thing I do is walk around the house, sit at the table, sit on the couch, and then walk up the stairs and get back into bed. That's basically the extent of my activity.
Although relieved that everything is ok, I feel like I'm taking a couple steps back. I feel so good, but I still can't do anything. And now I'm afraid to move even more, in fear of my incision. But the people I feel the worst for is my family. My husband and my parents are all in overdrive picking up the slack AND taking care of me. And then of course there's my daughter. I feel awful I can't spend time more quality time with her. I guess I just wasn't planning to be out of commission for so long. And feeling so good makes everything harder.
Ok, enough debbie downer. On the flip side, my breasts are really coming along! I'd do those things 10,000x over again. They've been insanely easy. The tummy tuck on the other hand....I'm back to regretting it. Hoping & praying in a couple more weeks I'll change my mind.