MMO

So today was a tough one. I've been feeling good. Really good. Maybe TOO good. I'm not doing anything I'm not supposed to - I haven't cooked, cleaned, done laundry, picked up my daughter or anything!!! But today when I looked at my tummy incision, I noticed a piece of it was different than the rest. It looked like it was coming apart. I took a pic with my phone and immediately called the dr. They told me to come in just so they could take a peek. I almost never freak out about things like that but this just looked wrong. So all day, I moped around, all depressed because I thought I had an infection or some sort of major wound problem. (I'll spare you the picture.) Finally, 3:15 rolls around and the dr takes one look and says its completely normal! THANK GOD! But, they told me to take it easy. Which I am. The only thing I do is walk around the house, sit at the table, sit on the couch, and then walk up the stairs and get back into bed. That's basically the extent of my activity.

Although relieved that everything is ok, I feel like I'm taking a couple steps back. I feel so good, but I still can't do anything. And now I'm afraid to move even more, in fear of my incision. But the people I feel the worst for is my family. My husband and my parents are all in overdrive picking up the slack AND taking care of me. And then of course there's my daughter. I feel awful I can't spend time more quality time with her. I guess I just wasn't planning to be out of commission for so long. And feeling so good makes everything harder.

Ok, enough debbie downer. On the flip side, my breasts are really coming along! I'd do those things 10,000x over again. They've been insanely easy. The tummy tuck on the other hand....I'm back to regretting it. Hoping & praying in a couple more weeks I'll change my mind.

Got my stitches and last drain out yesterday! I feel like a new woman. Feeling really good - have not been on any pain meds or tylenol for a few days now. Just a sleep aid at night. I'm still most comfortable in bed, but I've been trying to spend more time downstairs with my family during the day. But sitting in a chair and even the couch, just isn't cozy like my bed! My back is still over compensating for my weak core so I need pillows and full back support to be really comfortable.

Showering still feels weird - I think its because my tummy is so numb and it feels so strange to be out of my compression wrap. But, I can shower without help which is a plus!

My incisions are itchy. Itchy is good, it means healing! Its just so hard not to scratch!

I'm amazed at how well I feel. I honestly wasn't expecting to feel this good, especially after the way I felt this time last week! I never thought I'd recover. I can get out of bed myself which is something I never thought I'd be able to do again. Ok, so thats a little dramatic, but when you're in the thick of it, your mind wanders and you think crazy thoughts ha!

I'm also really surprised how normal my breasts feel. I thought they would feel like foreign objects on my chest for a long time. I look in the mirror now and I feel like this is just how they always should have been! And they're not even settled yet! I have lots of healing to do and I'm really excited to see how everything turns out. I put on a front zip sports bra today just to see how it looked and felt like a barbie doll. I used to have to wear the tightest, maximum support sports bras that smushed & flattened my breasts to my body to eliminate any jiggle or bounce when I worked out. I only dreamed of looking the way I looked today! Can't wait to buy some cute outfits and get back in the gym now!

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES! The past couple days have been a little rough. But I'm feeling so much better today. I took my first shower yesterday. 1 week post op. I know, gross. (I had taken sponge baths in-between, FYI.) And it was AWFUL. I feel so incredibly uncomfortable without my compression wrap on my tummy and the weight of my breasts felt strange. My husband got in with me to wash my hair and I kept saying I couldn't breathe. I think I'm overly nervous about my stitches and my one drain. I have no feeling anywhere so there's no pain. I'm not really sure what my deal was? I just know it was not fun. But I'm clean and this morning I feel a lot better. I'm not loving my look yet, but I know that's normal. Got a lot of healing to do.

Stitches come out soon. I've been saving my one last Valium to take the morning of. I felt nothing when the one drain came out so I feel like I shouldn't feel anything when the stitches come out either but I'm still anxious about it. Especially after taking some close up pictures of everything yesterday. There are SO. MANY. Stitches! I wish I could be knocked out for that.

I'm able to get out of bed on my own occasionally now. THANK GOD. The tummy pain I felt before when I sat up is almost gone. Its almost like it went away overnight. Crazy what a difference that 1 week mark makes. I can also move my arms a lot more now. I was VERY careful in following the "no arms over head for one week" rule. I barely moved my arms at all. And again, overnight, everything feels better than it did. I'm not overdoing it, but I can tell I have more range and I'm less nervous now.

So hopefully the misery is over. I'm REALLY looking forward to trying on clothes and bathing suits. I've already done a little online shopping this week and bought a few strapless tops. I haven't been able to wear strapless ANYTHING since high school, and even then, when I look back at pictures, I shouldn't have! And bathing suits - oh how excited I am to be able to wear normal bathing suits!!! I have a couple great one pieces that I love but its always been a struggle to manipulate my sagging skin into them in such a way they didn't look all hangy and deflated to the naked eye. And then theres always the struggle of being in the water...those little buggers always managed to float right out of the suit. No joke. Then I'd have to dunk and try to shove those things back in without looking like a total weirdo. I'm not sure I'll ever wear a bikini again. I had a LOT of stretch marks and it was impossible to get rid of them all. But at least they're all BELOW my belly button now! So maybe a high waisted one if those things are still in style when I'm ready?!