My boob journey - no boobs/mildly deformed & tuberous breasts

I was born with absolutely no boobs/mildly deformed and tuberous breasts. Due to this, since the age of 16, I have lived in quiet disgust and discomfort with respect to my physical being. As you can imagine, this has only really been an issue when I have needed to be perceived by another in an intimidate setting, detrimentally impacting my sexual life and my ability to be "close" with men. I am a deeply sensual/horny person that loves to feel another's skin against my own. But I have never felt that my physicality could allow me the depth and release I have always desired from sex. I have tried to intellectualise this whole lived and unique experience of mine to find a way to "accept" it, focusing my attention on other aspects of my life. But when it truly comes down to it, I think that human life is too short. Sexuality and intimacy are some of the most beautiful phenomena that we are blessed to experience as humans. And when it comes down to it, female sexuality is deeply narcissistic; we are driven by a deep desire to perceive our sovereignty - our transcendence - through someone else's lust. Having been objectified our whole sexual life, to have our physicality and "soul" tethered by other's eyes, means that we live to see ourselves mirrored back to us in our sexual partners. So that we might recognise ourselves again, feel unified once more. Return the body into the realm of the detached soul. I think women need to feel desired and yearned after in an authentic way to fully allow ourselves the passage to reach the unfathomable and euphoric plane of orgasm. I have never believed that a man has completely desired me - have always been too aware that I must incite some kind of disgust or awkwardness. I can never truly let go, reveal myself, let myself be reflected back, due to my deep disdain with this aspect of myself. I have come to the conclusion that the only way for me to ever enjoy sex is if I can truly and wholeheartedly feel that I am physically attractive, and my boobs being the greatest hurdle for me to feel this about myself means that this surgery has become more than just some manifestation of a physical ideal of "beauty" - it will clear the path forward to connecting me with the transcendental yet deeply human experience of having authentic, passionate sexual experiences/connections (is the hope anyway). Will upload photos of my experience along the way.