Well... It's time for a little bit of me time....
Well... It's time for a little bit of me time. This is coming in the form of a much needed tummy tuck! I had my kids when I was younger and thought I could bounce back... While much of me did, my stomach certainly did not! My kids weren't exactly a walk in the park weighing 9lbs 14 oz and 10lbs 11oz. Back then I was thin as a rail and now looking back... I really should've taken better care of my body while I was pregnant.
Now here we are and I'm 43! Where did the time go? It turned into weight on my body and mostly on my belly! Not without help though... My mom passed last year and the depression hit me like a ton of bricks. It caused me to eat and drink more than 20+ pounds on my already big frame. Currently I am 5'10 and weigh between 200-210 lbs depending on the weekend. I usually weigh 185 lbs comfortably but have been in a bit of a slump. I'm hoping the TT gives me a boost in the right direction as far as getting my drive back. I walk at least 8-10 miles a day and exercise but can't seem to shake the weight off.
I have my surgery scheduled in December with Dr Payne so I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. He did my breast implants 5 years ago and I love them so I know he will do a great job on my TT...
Freaking out a little... 17 days till my TT surgery and I feel like I have nothing ready... I mean I have my recliner and supplies but why does it all feel like it's coming to soon??? I've been waiting 24 years for this right??? Anxiety is a trip!!!
Wish NOT list...
1. I would like to see my belly button… it’s only been 26 years…
2. I am remarried… I would like to have sex in some full on LIGHT… not just the DVD player light either!
3. Jeans… God what I wouldn’t give to not pull my jeans up to my BOOBS only to have them fall down under my apron roll…
4. When was the last time you wore a white shirt? I DO NOT expect all of my stretch marks to miraculously disappear… but just wearing a WHITE shirt without Google maps silhouetting through would be AWESOME!
5. Raise your hands in the air… and wave’em like you just don’t care… Can’t even tell you the last time I did that! Well at least in a well lit space…
6. BIKINI… What is this word… Ya… I would love to OWN ONE…
7. Boob shelf… I had implants… I think they are a wee bit big but my stomach makes for a not so awesome boob shelf.
8. Changing close in front of my girlfriends… not having to hide ALL that business…
9. I want to go to the gym, boot camp or hell public without stressing out PERIOD!!!!
10. Somewhere under all this blubber is a beautiful tummy waiting to be seen…
Meds and dot to dots
I had a 3:30 appt today with my PS... He's a. Talker so I didn't get to actually see him until 4:00 and he spent an hour and twenty minutes with me... He went over all his questions... I went over mine... He drew on my body and I almost started crying tears of joy!
I love that he's going right about my pubic area and asked me how I felt about my mons... I told him my turtle needed a slender shell! LOL he asked my about my flanks and I grabbed about an inch and he said we will lipo that! He assured me that I was going to love my results! I told him I needed my stomach to match my boobs!!
Paperwork, prescriptions and some great laughs today!
Shits gettin real!!!
You know... I have grown kids... One that still lives with us going to college... And a husband who I know will take good care of ME while I'm recovering but damn... I'm stressin... I think I have anxiety because I can't keep still... I am up 19-20 hours of a normal day... I already know I am going to have an EPIC fail when it comes to this word "recovery"... Rest is unknown to me and I have done a lot to prepare for the time that I'm MIA... I just need to have faith... FAITH!!! LOL
10 hours til the flat side!!!
I'm on the west coast so it's almost 8 here... It's about 10 hours til I'm at the doctors office getting marked up for surgery... I feel like I have everything I need and I'm just going to relax the rest of the night...
I'm not afraid of surgery... I'm afraid of the pain... Pray for me...
Day 2 post op...
Yesterday was so much better than today... I must've pulled a stitch... But I had a follow up and so far loving the results????
My MIL had to take me to this appointment... Man was she surprised. She watched the nurses change my gauzes out and remove one of my drains... I've been doing pretty good with the one I have left. More than likely the second gets pulled tomorrow... Can't wait to have just my spanx and flexes on... My back aches from walking but that is to be expected...
Seroma.... Who's got It? This girl right here!
Drains gone and now I've got a build up of Seroma in my mons pubis area... I feel like I'm carrying a set of balls... Lord! I had it drained the first time this last Saturday the 26th and the drained 135cc of black blood- that felt good for a little bit... I have another appointment tomorrow and hope to have MORE drained out so I can start feeling better!!! Ugh
Other than that... When I do feel ok I can almost stand straight and my tummy looks good! I just need to get over this hump... How's everyone else doin?
12.28.16 appointment for seroma
Well yesterday's appointment was interesting... Erica who is one of my favorite nurses at Dr. Paynes had the duty of draining me... She pulled 490cc of fluid out of my mons pubis area which equals to 2.1 cups!!! My goodness I didn't know if it was ever going to end but I will say that I felt SO MUCH BETTER when all was done! She made me feel better knowing I would need to go in and have this process done until all was done... Could take 3-5 weeks.
Dr. Payne came in and visited letting me know everything looked really good and reassured me about the seroma and that it wouldn't have any lasting effects on my end results.
After being deflated the next task was to buy new spanx! I ended up at Target and they were having a buy 2 get one free! SOOO why not? I bought some that were boy shorts that covered my entire torso and reenforced it with a binder on the outside for my back! Definitely still not standing completely straight...
Sponge baths in the middle of winter are not the business... Can't wait to take one when I'm completely healed... Come on Jan 6th!!!
I hope all on their journey are resting, healing and having a safe holiday season!
One week prior and every day since surgery I have taken Metamucil and stool softeners... My first BM was so painful I tried an ennema and just about lost it when a few pebbles fell out... Later in the day I had a decent movement...
Today , 12 days out and I soent 15 minutes dying... I strained every stomach muscle on earth and had to help things move along literally... After all of the struggle I collapsed and slept for 2 hours... My stomach hurt so bad that I couldn't do anything else but sleep clutching it...
Please summer... Come soon and be recovered by then!!!
Only 330cc of seroma today!
Well my appointments are M-W-S to be drained and thank god! I always feel so much better when I get drained and I'm hoping to be done with this sooner than later!
Here is an updated pic that I took this morning... Of course I'm a wee bit hunched over and you can probably see my puffy pubic area that was waiting to be drained!
New Years Eve!
Well everyone in my house is sick BUT me so I've been caring for a sick husband and daughter and yes... Myself. After I had my BA five years ago, a few weeks after the operation I felt like I wanted to rip my breast off my chest. All my nerve sensations were returning and now 2 weeks post op from my TT I'm having those sensations in my stomach. The best way I can dis tine it is when your feet fall asleep and the sensation returns... I am super thankful for knowing what this pain is and that I can take a Percocet to make it feel better! HA!
I hope that all of you have a safe and healthy 2016 and if you are recovering that you do so swiftly!
Back at work... FROM HOME!!!
Thankful that I can work from home whenever I want... I just could not see myself physically going in today... I also have an appointment later to be drained (seroma) but I'm just not ready... I can't have a REAL shower until Wednesday so that is the other issue... I'm not funky (since I sponge bathe for my appts) but I don't wanna be the smelly kid either! LOL
Best wishes to a new year all! God speed on our recoveries now and future surgeries!
1/4/16 SHOWER TIME!
Went to my appt today to get drained (seroma) and my nurse Erica said I could take a shower!!! 2 days early but I'll take it!!!! I went to Walmart and bought a loofa scrub brush for my back and some lovely gloves to SCRUB MY BODY! Twas lovely!
I put hydrogen peroxide on my scabs and decided I would try some clothes on! First time since my operation and although I'm still swollen I could tell the difference in my waist!
I have a belly button!!!
Morning pics! 1/5/16
Shotty pics but it was early and I want one with minimal binder marks... Still a lot of scanning but at least the garment keeps me from going at them! ????
Battle gear and other things...
Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my TT... What a journey! When I first logged onto RealSelf it was to prepare myself for recovery, the worst and my tummy twin!
What I discovered is not everyone needs a "faja" I am thankful everyday I did not invest in one... I ended up with Maidenform or Flexees high waisted boy shorts... Spanx are just to expensive- hello Tarhet and Walmart! Dr Payne said if you wear the mid length type (middle of your belly) it can leave indentions in your waist... So NO to those! They go all the way up to my tits! Boy shorts so my thighs wouldn't have the circulation cut of LOL!
The binder I did end up with I purchased on Amazon and it's a 3 piece that makes me feel supported throughout the day and especially while I'm working. I sit mostly but my posture is not that great but it is now! Only bad thing... When I gotta pee I gotta rip off two binders and the boy shorts!!! And I don't know about you but the minute I'm in the bathroom... I'm boarder line peeing my pants!
My doctor told me to start taking Aleve... That it was better than Extra Strength Tylenol... Aleve doesn't do SHIT! I take 3 every morning and by 12:00pm I end up taking one Percocet and one Valium... I try to tolerate it as much as I can...
Coughing and sneezing is no Bueno... Man my thought process has always been- have surgery during Thanksgiving or Christmas so that I wouldn't sweat like the beast that I am! I did not anticipate my whole family getting bronchitis!!! Ugh! They went from caring for me for a week to me caring for US... I didn't want them touching anything related to me! Coughing and sneezing while recovering from a TT surgery just frightens me! I know you guys read some of the questions on this site... "Can coughing blow out my stitches? Can coughing/ Sneezing cause my stomach to blow out" avoiding it at all costs!!!
Metamucil is bullshit... I should have stuck with Clearlax in my coffee and tea twice a day. The day I had to push for 15 minutes and literally DIG my poop outta my butt I said hell to the no more!
Bandages, tape, wash clothes, butt wipes, walker, moomoos, cheap oversized sweats and panties are your friend...
Pre planned meals are the business! I had soups and broth the first week along with Jello for dessert! I took my dad to see Star Wars for his birthday on Christmas Eve- that was a week after surgery and that popcorn tasted like HEAVEN!!
Water water water... So much water!!! I haven't had a drink (alcohol) since 12/15... Damn water!!!
Lastly... Recovery is no joke... Nothing is moving fast... Seroma is unwanted and unplanned for but a part of the process... By summer I'll be even more so grateful!
Bikini tops are not my friend!
Two nights ago I started looking at bikini tops and high waisted bottoms online... I asked my 24 year old daughter, "what's appropriate for someone my age?" She said, "a moomoo!" And we both fell out laughing!!
I got enough energy to go to Target last night... When my kids were little I LOVED Target... Now I'm lucky if I go there 5 times a year. Much to my surprise they had bathing suits out already!!! I grabbed a few tips that said XL or DD and NONE of them fit...
WHERE do my big busted ladies get their bikini tops??? I have a cruise with some girlfriends... I'm not worried about bottoms but my boobs are a 34 DD and that's being kind....
I did however buy some beautiful panties that when I get better... Will have my husband chasing me!!! Woohoo! Come on body... Hurry up! Mama needs some sugar!!
Light at the end of the tunnel!
I had an appointment on 1/8/16 to be drained for my seroma... My usually visits consist of 400-490 cc's of blood/fluid- roughly 2+ cups. On my visit, Erica (my favorite nurse) was only able to pull a little over 200 cc's! Winning!!
Today is the 10th... I have my regular visit tomorrow and I can honestly say that there is hardly ANY SWELLING!!! I'm hopeful that when I go in tomorrow that they pull out as little as possible!
I think as days go by we often fall into a slump or depression and wondering when we will ever start to feel human... Today might just be a good day but I'm taking it!!
Happy Sunday all!
Bikini tops are funny...
Now that I can wear one... None fit!!!
1/19/16 appt- NO MORE SEROMA!!
Went to my appointment today to be drained and I didn't have to be poked with the horse needle!!! Draining is DONE!!!
My next appointment in Feb is to be released from care! All I have now is just swelling... 2 more weeks till cardio!
Morning appreciation of no swelling
Man... I love the mornings... Mid afternoon and evenings... Not so much... Swelling sucks! Could be worse!!!
I'm drowning in water... How's everyone else doing? Happy Friday!
Before and after pics...
It's winter... Great time to recover but man it's cold and I'm turning yellow! Although we need much needed rain in California... I need sun!!! I think it's supposed to be in the 79's next week...
Has anyone gone shopping yet! My entire closet is like a new wardrobe of old clothes that fit so much better now... I did manage to go shopping and bought shirts, workout pants and a few light sweaters. I am in love with some Capri workout pants that I bought... The part I like most is not having a ROLL tucked or flopping over my pants!!!
Started back at the gym... My Fitbit is going wild! Slowly but surely I'll end up back in spin class to build my legs back up and putting my ass back where it belongs! 6 weeks of "rest" was much needed but damn!
Happy Hump Day ladies!
Super Bowl regret...
It's 2:35am on the west coast and I am WIDE AWAKE... I did some damage this weekend and I am paying for it now... Over indulgence is a nice word for stuffing my face with booze and food...
I am so uncomfortable right now... My stomach is inn, I can barely breath, there is absolutely not one comfortable way for met play I my bed right now... I.AM.MISERABLE!!
Lesson learned... Don't waste a moment over eating and drinking for an all nighter or this crap! Ugh!!!
CG's/Miss Belt/Spanx OH MY!
12 Feb 2016
2 months post
So most of us have struggled with, "What do I wear now?" I have gone through my far share of trails and errors... I'll probably have more too...
First off, I knew I would get a CG from the PS but I was on here and wondering what options I should have... I never knew what a faja was and grateful I didn't need one...
I got online in November and looked for Compression Garments and came up with a lot of options. I liked the one piece look but I have a long torso so I needed something that would fit from under my breast and to my incision. I kept looking at the Aenmil Breathable 3 in 1 Strip Maternity Belly Band Adjustable Postpartum Recovery Belt. I liked how I could put the top part right under my breast, the lower part over my scar for supporting the swell and covered both with the middle and key word for me was BREATHABLE... It's light and hides well under clothes and you can wear any part you need to. Going pee... You'd be surprised how fast you can whip all of them off!
In between all of this... I ordered a Spanx garment just to return it... First thought... OUCH and the thought of pulling it down made me think of my scar, tape and fresh wound... I thought I was gonna split myself open... I was on the Nope Train to Returnsville! I just spent a shit ton of money on this new body so I was also a Baller on a Budget... Hello Walmart and Target! I got the Maidenform breathable boy short waist trimmers... They weren't the slick ones they were the kind that looked and felt like ACE bandages... Somewhat stretchy... I did buy the slick ones so I could wear them under clothes... PS said to purchase the kind that go up to your breast so you have full coverage... Think Hipster jeans and the lovely indentions they leave on your thighs over time... Flexees are the same but from Walmart- cheaper but less selection at my store...
Now that I am 8 weeks PO and back at the gym, I don't wear the spanx like garment... I wear different parts of my Aenmil belt depending on what I have going on. I'm not gonna lie... My belts are my pacifier... I now wear a Miss Belt that is a "waist trainer" that I had bought when I was heavier thinking "Ewe I'll try this!" Guess what... It's not a long torso! UGH! But I used it instead as a back brace to support myself when walking my big dogs! And now it fits so snug that I LOVE IT! I put it on with the top part of my 3 piece and wear it low and I use it all day while I work... Sit down job... Keeps me sitting straight and tucked in! Silly purchase gone RIGHT!
Everyone has there preference... These worked for me... Good luck all and TGIF!
Reminder of what was and how great the future will be!
14 Feb 2016
2 months post
Just when you get a little discouraged... Pull out the before and after shots!!!
2 months 2 day lifetime of smiles!
19 Feb 2016
2 months post
Back at the gym full time! Still wear a support during the day but it's a tight tummy trimmer...
I was going to ask this on the questions section for the doctors (still might) but does anyone have a remedy or cream they use for the dark lines I have on my hips??
Just over 4 month PO
19 Apr 2016
4 months post
A few things about my TT... I still wear support on a daily basis... I sit all day for work and wear the tighter compression like garnet to keep me from slouching to bad. Some days (few and far between) I will go without and wear a snug tank top and toward the end of the day my stomach aches. I don't sleep with any support on... Have yet to have a really good stretch either!
I don't know if I thought I was gonna wake up one day and feel normal but it hasn't been any day so far. My stomach is still tight and toward the bottom where my scar line is, the stretch marks have loosened up a little. Having all of my stretch marks removed was never an expectation- especially with as many as I had! So I'm ok with that...
Side and back muffin too.... I feel like I've got some of this goin on... Like the incision was to tight around the sides... I've managed to keep 10-15 lbs off but can definitely tell when I am swollen or ate to much....
Phantom pains... Strange feelings around my scar, middle of my stomach or sides... When I swell it's in my mons area or above my belly button... Oh and I managed to get a new stretch mark! It itches!!!
But you know what I don't have? 10lbs of flesh that hung around doing nothing! For that... I am grateful!!!
First 2 piece in 27 years!
I wore my first 2 piece in 27 years yesterday... I was pretty hesitant when I got to the watermark to take off my cover up and once I did... I felt Amazing!!! I saw so may moms out there of different ages, body types and nationalities and all I could think is, "You can do this!" And I did... My tummy is not perfect... I still have stretch marks, I may not be as slim as I'd like but I don't have my spare tire anymore! Gonna love me some summertime!