BettyM

I'm 37 and a mother of four kids that I nursed. I had two of my kids vaginally and two via c-section. I also had my appendix out when I was a child. The c-section incisions are in two different spots. Thus I have three different scars on my abdomen. I am 5'7" and somewhere between 137-140 lbs. I try to run a few times every week and I love yoga. I also have Hashimoto's disease--that is a low functioning thyroid that I take meds for every day. I'm scheduled for a breast lift/augmentation (saline), tummy tuck, and Dr. said maybe liposuction at the end of March. I was born with an amazing body that could get pregnant at the drop of a hat and carry babies forever. My body could push any size baby out and feed that baby. After it all was said and done, though, certain parts of my body could not bounce back. Not at all. My husband loves and supports me no matter what. This I am thankful for. I struggle every day with feelings of anxiety, fear of the unknown and guilt about this. Nevertheless, I still want to do it. I almost wish that I would have been able to schedule my "procedures" for sooner rather then later so I don't have to sit and marinate in these feelings every day. Just get it over with already! I feel ready for the tummy tuck. But the breasts are a different story. I'm still unsure about it. I'm not sure I'm keen on having foreign objects in my body. I wear a 36B Victoria's Secret bra. And I am completely happy with that. I don't want big boobs. I repeat: I do NOT want big boobs. I had them when I was pregnant and nursing and big boobs are not my style. That said, I'm fairly sure I don't want the flap jack boobs I currently have, either. Words I would like to use to describe my chest some day are: "perky", "pert", "athletic". I want the same size chest, just pumped back up to where they were. Unfortunately with the little amount of flesh that is left in them, I don't think a lift will look very good. I head in this week to get another consultation. I'm hoping the good Dr. will be able to help sooth some of my anxiety about this process.

I went back to my PS for a second consult and I'm feeling better about the breasts. I felt like he had a good understanding of where I want to be size-wise. I was also able to share photos with him of where I wanted to be. I was less freaky and nervous, I think. The appointment didn't take long, but I think I got all of my questions out and he told me to come back if I needed to.

I wish I could fast forward to March 22nd. Right now it doesn't seem real. The waiting game continues. February is a short month and I'm sure it'll fly.

I'm looking for input on what to tell my kids who range from teenager to preschool. What do you say? I plan to tell my eldest what's going on closer to the time and keep it top line for the preschooler: "Mom doesn't feel good.", but what about the middle kids? I also don't want this shared with anyone so I need to make that clear. I don't plan on telling them anything until the date is much closer. Any ideas are welcome.

So I'm still over a month out. I'm still researching, researching, researching... The good news is that some of my anxiety has faded a bit. I am now resolved about my decision to get this done. After much soul searching ultimately, it is what I really want for myself. I feel pangs of excitement now and then about looking different--better. And my guilt level has evened off into something I can occasionally put into the back of my mind instead of constantly nudging me from the front.

I think I feel better because: a)I went for the 2nd consult b)told my mother and sister and c)I have this site to soak up as much information as I possibly can so I can be as informed as possible.

The age old silicon vs. saline debate has arisen as a result of my research and I need some insight. First a little background:

As I stated above I do not want big breasts. I made that clear to my PS with my words and photos. I only want to fill in the skin that is there. I don't want this to be noticeable. I don't want people wondering if I "had any work done". I am doing this for me. I basically want my body put back into as much order as it was prior to having kids--as much as possible any way. I realize a PS is not God.

My PS recommended saline at the 1st consult. I say, "Saline? I don't want to have those ridges or look like I have baseballs on my chest." He says, "YOU won't." I try on the implants with hubby...small implants...I'm talking that I "tried on" 150 cc's and I felt that was MORE then ample. (Insert clip of Hubby in corner of exam room shaking head at small implants, whispering "bigger, BIGGER".) Now after the fact I realize that those try on sessions really seem to be a tough way to gauge the actual cc's that you should have. I'm getting that the number of cc's you should have seems more based on your body, weight, height, etc... AND PS tells me that he always goes a little bigger because once they are in you, it takes away from the actual volume you see in your breast. We leave 1st consult thinking 150 saline is the magic number/type.

Fast forward to 2nd consult. Now I'm more informed, less nervous, and armed with photos of HIS work of the gals that I would like to look like. Also a catalogue clipping of a very athletic gal in a cute swim suit just to really get my point across. I ask all of my questions including:

(This is not a word for word account. Completely my interpretation.)
-Have you ever had anyone get sick from implants?
answer: no
-Have you ever had anyone have them taken out?
answer: yes a few, because they just couldn't get used to them and it was typically those women that received the larger implants.
-You sure about saline? I have a girlfriend who can SEE the ridge under her arm by her armpit of the actual saline implant. I don't want that.
answer: yes, I honestly don't think with the size that you want that you will be able to tell the difference between saline/silicone. The fact that you are active (I run and do water sports) is also a good reason to have the saline.
-What type of implant are you using?
answer: low profile saline. Your wide chest and desire for a smaller implant call for it.
-Where are you placing it?
answer: In between the pec major and pec minor making a pocket.
-I still want my nips perky, pointing up, right?
answer: Yep!

So there it is. Thoughts? I trust this guy as much as I trust any doctor. I don't want to go back in a year or even five and have them put in silicone because I can see the ridges. If I'm doing this, I want to do it right. But on the other hand I am a little nervous about housing silicone in my body. I appreciate any insight or information on this topic.