Finally, I Am Going to Get Rid of This Baby Damage! Tummy Tuck, Here We Go... -Milwaukee, WI

I have always wanted to get this baby damage fixed--the stretch marks, the sagging, the basic flab. It's pretty depressing. After my first was born, I felt monstrous. I really didn't expect to feel that way--and honestly no one warned me just how much my body would change. I expected that my hips would "spread" even larger, and that my breasts would be droopier. But I really didn't know that my stomach would never recover. The multiple c-sections added to the lumpy look of my tummy under clothes, and the scar is somewhat like a stair step. After my third (like a YEAR after) a co-worker asked if I was expecting another. I said, "no, I'm not pregnant, just fat. Can't I just be fat?"

I love what my body has done for me. It's given me beautiful children, and I nursed all of them. It's been a real provider and a universe of it's own. But now that I'm done having kids, I'm finally going to get all this extra skin gone! I have the kids, I don't need this souvenir. It's been a tough decision. It's a lot of cash, and the recovery time is daunting. But I'd rather do this NOW and have this new stomach sooner rather than later.

My biggest concern is the recovery time. My Dr. explained to me that I would have NO LIFTING for about 4 weeks. This is terrifying because I have 3 kids, the youngest is under 2! We don't have a lot of help, and it's mostly just me and the kids. I know the first 2 weeks are going to be the hardest, and I'm bracing myself for it. No lifting the little one out of the crib, no diaper changes (well, that can't be so bad, right?), no picking up the baby. Yikes. I even tried to hire babysitting help, but somehow I can't get any!

I've already had some lipo done to prepare for the big procedure, and it helped a lot because I no longer look totally preggers. But that skin, that kangaroo pouch, is still there. I feel kind of light bulb shaped (upside down, you understand). So now, I'm going to jump in and get this finished! I imagine it's like a very intensive and medical "time-machine." Let's hope for the best!

I have one week to go, and I'm sort of crazy nervous, mainly about the recovery. I hope that this next week goes smoothly. New Year's Eve is almost here, and then my real "new year" begins! I'm trying to calmly prepare, and keep my cool. I'm not broadcasting my surgery, so most friends don't know that I'll be out of commission for a while--which is actually okay, since most of my friends are all over the country. It does make it hard as far as support goes, though, because I can't call someone to come over and help with the kids. Also, most don't have kids, so they don't really understand why I'm so upset about the extras that the pregnancies have left me with. I do have some help for the first week, and am trying to import help for the second (hopefully!). Thanks to everyone on the realself site for your well wishes and support! For someone like me, this means a lot!

It's January 1, the new year has begun, and I am up for my surgery tomorrow. I've been neglectful of my review/story because of the holidays, which rocked. I was able to entertain a steady throng of guests and had a lovely time, but it left little to no time for my mind to focus on my surgery (which I guess is good). And now, I'm exhausted and it's the night before my surgery. But I do have a moment to myself to catalog my thoughts and reply to the comments that you good folk have left.

I had a few blips with the surgical center at the last minute, which was pretty stressful, actually. They changed my appointment from 7:15 to 6:15, which might not be a big deal to those without kids, but now my husband has to bring all three of our children with us when he drops me off--no childcare that early, unfortunately. So that's a little stressful.

Then, when I went to pre-pay the center fee, I noticed that they had tacked on $500 extra dollars from the doctor's original invoice! This actually bothered me more than the appointment change, (which probably bothered my husband more than me). Luckily, on December 31 I was able to get them on the phone and they said that they would honor the doctor's invoice amount. YAY! Cause one more problem is a problem I don't need.

I have very mixed emotions right now. I'm incredibly worried about everything. I'm worried that my recovery will be impeded by responsibility, that my down time will effect my children negatively, that this is pointless vanity and that I am giving up a piece of my history by getting the baby damage gone. I know that second thoughts are normal. And I know that once I look down and DON'T see a flabby gut I'll be happy. It would be nice to have a stomach that does not touch my thigh when I sit, for Pete's sake. But here are my 11th hour ruminations.

And of course I'm worried that I am unprepared, which I just might be.