After my first daughter, I knew I would eventually need a tummy tuck. I remember having a detailed conversation about diastis recti with a nurse after the repeat c-section that brought me my second daughter. Four years and three girls later, I am more than ready! I've always been petite. I'm 5'1" and 108 lbs, the same weight I was before my first daughter, and the same weight I've gone back to after each baby. The problem is, my abs are completely shot. I couldn't understand how other girls went right back to flat tummies only a month or two post partum - I knew something was different for me.
Despite the fact that at 26 I WIEGHED the same as I did at 21, before all 3 kids, I looked much different. My stomach wasn't flat. There's always skin hanging over the top of my pants, and I wear a white compression tank top under my clothes every single day. No matter what I do, I always have a little belly, one that makes me look a few months pregnant. But maybe the worst part of all is the comments - "You look so good for having three kids!" If they don't notice right away, it's because I've become good at hiding it. I wear spanx, baggy shirts, try to suck it in. Because I'm so skinny everywhere else, and because I will NOT show my stomach to people to prove it, I get no sympathy from anyone outside of my family.
I've had three c-sections and open heart surgery, so while I'm no stranger to surgery, this feels different. Selfish. Reckless, even. It isn't a necessity, not physically anyway. Mentally, it's taking its toll. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it, notice it, hate it. So while the risks are there, I have to tell myself that being a healthy role model is more important for my girls than a mother who has body issues!
9-28-2012 My first consultation
My mom came with me to the surgeons today. I've been looking foward to this day for WEEKS, as silly as that sounds. He made me feel completely justified, having me do a slight sit up and saying he could fit things in the seperation of my abs - I told him I could to, 3 fingers! He said my abs are rock solid on either side of that huge chasm, and when I asked for reassurance that this couldn't be fixed by exercise, he even chuckled a little when he said no. Knowing that I'm not taking the lazy way out, that I really CAN'T fix this any other way, makes a huge difference for me! He went over the surgery in detail, and while I was jumping at the chance to just sign up, I knew my husband would kill me. He didn't even offer, saying that the office would send an itemized list of costs, and to call or email, even stop by if I had any questions at all. Overall, my mom and I were really pleased and got a trusting feeling from him. He did manage to talk me out of a breast lift, which I was considering, which I think also says something! I'm soooo anxious to start planning this, but at the same time, I have NO idea when would be the best time! My oldest is in kindergarten, so I might try to do it when she has no school. I can't wait!!
