Time for all my hard work to show!

I have only just begun, as I met Dr. King today and have preop may 10th and surgery May 23rd. This doctor rocked and so did the staff they all did their best to work me in from the get go. I started here asking for a consult which was free after I mentioned real self. They were able to get me in in a day! They worked with me via email whivhis the best way for me during the day. Dr. King listened and explained everything. I was so excited after walking outta there after 3 months of looking, that I had a permagrin for about 4 hours. I will keep you posted. Pictures? Hmmm maybe.

Ok well I already started this wrong I see. Title is supposed to be hard WORK but I guess this works. Freudian slip I suppose. My trainer always tells me how strong I am, and I always say to her and others, “I’m telling you underneath all this fat is a rock hard body” So I guess the title fits.
This is the first time I have written my story or blogged, and never have I taken, much less posted pictures of myself, but since I have been a stalker of this site for a couple months and have seen other stories I feel it is only fair. Pay it Forward
My story isn’t much different than most. I am 44, 45 at the end of the month. I am 180 pounds and 5’4”.
I married my first real boyfriend. I meet him when I was 16; I got on the pill, gave him my virginity, and gained 40 pounds in the first year and half, putting me 180. I was married at 21, and I was 180. Through my 20s I stayed around that weight. Late 20s I get off the pill gained a ton. Go back on the pill because I couldn’t seem to get pregnant anyway but I could sure look it!! I diet, exercise, lose weight very slowly get to 180 and can’t get beyond it. Go back off the pill a few years later, same thing. Except I am working out all the time and cant loose, I gain no matter what. Oh and to top it off my hair gets super thin and I have really bad cystic acne, damn I was pretty! Thank god for the internet. Did some research, figured I had poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, PCOS. I went to an endocrinologist, walked in and said “I am pretty sure I have PCOS”. Well I didn’t have the cysts but I had 4 other symptoms, weight gain, acne, hair loss, and skin tags. It turned out my testosterone and DHES was really high. Both of these were causing my symptoms. I went on medications and got those to normal levels. Did more research and found that insulin helps regulate your other hormones and decided to change my diet to high protein, limited carbs diet for life. I have been doing that for years, but the weight wasn’t coming off. Once I had everything under control I decided to try Dean Cares’ Low calorie weight loss program. I seriously considered getting my stomach banded but knew I had the will power to do this. Started at 240 got to 175 and guess what? Yeah couldn’t get beyond it. That was 3 years ago. I had knee surgery and that set me back a little but basically I have stayed around 180. I am doing nutrisystem (even though I hate eating that much processed for the thing that will kill us all) now. It’s been 2 months, I’ve lost 4 pounds I am at yep you know it, 180. I have had 2 cheat meals on this diet and I can tell you I remember them both they were delicious! I am not a small person and never will be, I know that. You can’t be with a rack like mine, and I am ok with that. I am solid, pretty muscular, I eat healthy, I exercise, I take all kinds of vitamins and fish oil and herbs, but I will always have my pouch. I know this. It’s been there since I was 10 years old. I know that because I distinctly remember a picture that was taken on the 1 family trip we did to California in 1978 it was a left side view of me at the San Diego zoo. My mom had it in her hand with a scissors and she said, as she was cutting it out, “Oh my God you look like you are six months pregnant” snip snip snip. I am sure she was trying to be funny and when I mention it she is mortified and in denial but hey you don’t forget things that. My friend says I am obsessed because I am always trying to diet and exercise, and try whatever the latest and great new thing is. I read every new research I can find on the subjects. Yes, I admit I am. I can’t just let it go and be happy with my self. I have so much respect and admiration for those who can, those who say FU you to the world and love themselves, those are my heroes. But what can I say my whole adult life I just wanted to be able to wear jeans, with a shirt tucked in and a super cute belt!! Seriously is that too much to ask? If I couldn’t have children the least I deserve is that right? I figure I am this way (obsessed) because I never had it. My new Endo says I am just one of those people, the ones that have crap metabolism, due to crap hormones, genetics or whatever. And obviously there is a certain weight my body likes to be at, well I respectfully disagree (stupid body!)
Anyway that’s the weight part of my story. Oh and I should mention that my hubby had an aortic aneurysm in 2006 and then they had to go back in in 2012 and found he was filled with an infection from the 1st emergency open heart surgery. But he just had his 1st scan last week and it’s still all clear. (whew). He is also supportive in whatever I do. (He doesn’t have much choice though and we both know it. ;)
So last year my job changed and my work load double. I am in an office and process orders. Well I had to start doing that really fast and work longer hours to be able to get it done, and I started having pain in my shoulder near the shoulder blade. I started seeing the PT here and he said I really should think about a breast reduction. I am a 38DDD. I have never really thought about my boobs being big. I look down and just see my boobs. I remember trying on swimsuits with my BFF once and I looked at her and said” Why the hell didn’t you tell me boobs were so big?” But they never really bothered me; I mean I wasn’t embarrassed like I am with my gut. I always said they were my only asset, that, and my sparkling personality. Also I am really partial to my nipples , let’s face it they only serve one purpose now and they serve me well so I really don’t want to lose that! Then I see my sister in law and find she has had it done. She had 4 or more different complications, lost her nipple, no sensation and over sensitive in the other. Um yeah right there is the reason I not jumping to have this done! BUT she is STILL happy she did it and loved her doc. Said he was the best.
So I decide yep I am gonna have to look into this, but no way am I going to make my boobs smaller and not my gut! One without the other will just make the other stand out even more. I check with my insurance and it turns out her doc (Dr. Manning) is on my list of “in network doctors”. There is only like 3. I go see him and tell him I want him to take out the least amount he can that will still be covered. I find out later that I think he must misunderstand. I just didn’t want to be smaller than a D I am like I said big and didn’t want to be outta proportion. So after talking with others and asking how big they were and how big they are now and how much was removed I better understand that 800 grams (the min for insurance) would be fine.
The next Doc I saw explained it better. I won’t get into him too much but I wanted to find out how much a TT would be, and since Dr. Manning did not do those I had to go somewhere else. I was hoping that I could have the same for both. So I see this Dr. at Transitions. He just kept talking about my boobs, how big they were and that I was the perfect candidate. And I said well I have to go to someone on my network and he says that he is. He talks over me, and doesn’t listen, but he did at least say all I needed to know is when he got done I would be a D. Hmm ok that I understand. He looks at my gut… yeah I can do that. I cut here, blah blah blah, you will still have that fat up there blah blah blah and that was it. Do you have any questions, he asks. Um no I’m good, get me outta here! I left thinking he either doesn’t like me or doesn’t like woman or he is just a social moron. BUT after thinking about it I am pretty sure I have to go to him. He can do both and the TT is only 6300. So I go to my Credit Union, tell my girl there I need a loan, I’m doing it! Then she tells me about her friend (Kimmers25). Says she loved her Doc. And can get me some info, she will call and let me know. The next day I am told about real self (I had actually been snooping the site already) I start talking to Kimmers . I ask for a consult from Dr. King on Sunday night via email (it’s really hard to use my cell at work and don’t want to have this conversation at my desk) Monday morning a Suzanne contacts me and I explain that I need to see him asap as my window to get this done is closing fast. June 21 is my first Dave Matthew band concert; yep I’m a Dave Head. So I need to get it done by the last week in May. She works her magic gets me in at another clinic the next day. I email her before to see if she can check his schedule because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. She says he has a couple openings that would work.
So now meet Dr. King…… I have a friend that I go to DMB shows with and when we are there we just say back and forth with each other, after Dave does something particular Dave,” I love him!” It’s a running joke; because we just tell each other that but don’t scream it at the top of our lungs to Dave like the younglings do. Kids! Well Dr. King? I love him! He is the coolest Doc I have ever had! He listened, He explained. While he was examining me he was like oooing and ahhing and saying yeah, yeah, like he was envisioning his finished work of art, he seemed excited!? That’s when I started to fall. ;) It was awesome, he didn’t say I had to lose weight, he said I am doing all the right things and that I had been through a lot, which I don’t feel I have. There are people out there struggling with heavy stuff, but I didn’t say that. He said I was the perfect candidate, not good, not great, but perfect, I fell a little more then. He laughed at my G-spot joke I told my Family Doc when she was doing my annual (she didn’t get it when I asked if she could find it because my husband can’t). Fell even more. He has seen DMB, still falling. And then when we are done and I am super excited and we are making plans and I want to do it that day, he says something like lets rock n roll or let’s do this (I was so happy by then I forget and don’t want to misquote) And Said ok its official you are the best doc ever ! Yep all the way in love with this doc. They were able to get me in on May 23rd.He is 1700 more and I DON’T CARE!! Why? Because I LOVE HIM!
Ok there is my story, never thought I could write it, don’t know why, God knows I can sure talk about it. I will probably go back to Dr. Manning in 6 months for the Breast reduction. I wish I could have Dr. King but he is not “in my network” SUCKS!! He agreed with my choice to do the TT first. So now comes the hard part, for me it’s the wait. I am pretty much a “want it now” person. Never had kids so really why do I need to learn patience? Once I decide on something (which can take a while) I want it now.
Post Op is May 10th Guess I will update then. If anyone had advice I will take it. I doubt I will get emotional, don’t know why, I can cry at commercials with the best of them, but this? Who knows, not worried about the pain, again not sure why, pain is pain, in a few months I won’t remember it, just that it hurt. So no fears really, just want it done. Want a list to work on what I should buy and have at the ready like MOM. I have saved 3 books that finally came out after a year wait, to read during my down time. They hardest part I think will be giving up golf and my trainer for at least 6 weeks, which is why I saved the books so I have something to look forward to. So send me your list ladies. Best scare care, Best diet post and preop, although I eat pretty healthy, just added a kale, mixed berries, flax seed, protein powder with probiotics shake in the morning. Best healing and swelling herbs or remedies. Whatever you got bring it! I am ready for all to see the Rock Hard body under all this fat!!

Crikey who stuck a quater in me?