Hi!! First I just wanted to say that I...
Hi!! First I just wanted to say that I am grateful for an outlet. To be able to work through some of the emotions that come with this and be around so many other women is amazing. I am 24, closer to 25. I have been extremely small for the majority of my life. I remember stuffing my bras with tissue, socks or even wearing two bras at once just to feel a bit more womanly. I have taken every supplement, rubbed on every creme and have done every massage regimen available( im talking to like the 20th page on google.) Last September I decided to finally take it into my own hands. As of now I can fit into a 32 b. Im sure it has more to do with the width of my body and breasts than the size. I cant fill the cups but if I go down to an A, its uncomfortable. I have never gone outside without a padded bra on and im just over living like that.
Choosing a plastic surgeon
I met with 4 surgeons a minimum of three times each before deciding on the one im going with. I chose him because every time he saw me, he asked follow up questions about the last time we spoke( hows school, work, did you pass that test you told me about..). Made me feel like I was talking to a friend. Also that he gave me recommendations for what he thought i should go with so that i could ultimately choose, not the other way around.
I do not want to have large breasts in the traditional sense. I want more volume than anything.I still want to look extremely natural but be confident enough to go out without a bra. I am a smaller women and I do not want to look like im going to topple over, chest first. After scouring the internet for months ( literally, if you have small implants and have put them anywhere on the internet, I have seen them. They are nice :) ) I have decided on staying below 250 cc. I would much rather be too small than too big. I have heard a lot about getting boob greed but having breasts too big would probably make me sadder than having none. I just want to continue to feel and look like myself with boobs that fill a bra. I know for sure im going with sub muscular, smooth and round. I keep going back and forth between 200 cc, 225 cc or 250cc. As i said Im scared of going to big but Im also scared of not having a difference once I wake up. My PS told me that based on the width of my breasts 250 may be my best bet, but after seeing lots of reviews, it may be too big. ANY and ALL advice, I would appreciate so much.
Thanks for reading
Anxiety kicking in
Ill be on vacation for the next few weeks before my BA. Its giving me a lot of time to think. I put my deposit down earlier this week and BAM, the doubt kicks in. Ive wanted to do this for years and now im doubting myself. Am i just being vain? What if they look worse than they do now? Do i really want something foreign in my body permanently? It is too much money to be disappointed afterwards. At least I know how to deal with the disappointment of my natural breasts already.Im still a month out and already extremely anxious. I know some of you have gone through this phase. How do you get past it and still get the procedure done
I know its hard to find good pictures of smaller implants. Here, have some of mine!! :)
Before pics In bra
Before photos in my favorite victorias secret bombshell bra ( the one that gives you two cup sizes.)
How much should you trust your PS??
The title may be a bit misleading because you obviously have to trust them with, well almost literally, your life. But how much weight should I give their recommendation? My PS recommends 250cc. I had 225-235 in mind. All of my research shows that 250 may be bigger than I want them to be. From my perspective, I know how I want to look.I know what I will be comfortable in and what will make me happy. On the other hand, my PS has done this procedure literally hundreds of times. with women of similar body type.Do I trust a professional or stick to my first mind? I don't want to be disappointed either way. I want there to be a notable difference but I don't want to have massive melons either. Has anyone had this experience and found a remedy?
2 week jitters and realizations
I am less than 2 weeks out. This process has already been the most emotionally draining time of my life. I never though that a decision that I was making for myself would make so many people who are supposed to care about me, show me a side of them I have never seen. This is truly a learning experience for me that you can not trust everyone. I thank you ladies for being a great support system. I thank this website for being a place for me to vent. On a brighter note, I have decided to tell my PS that I want to take the smallest size implant that coordinates with the width of my chest and go from there. After reading some newer reviews about feeling too big after the augmentation, I am positive about this. I have my pre op appt on the 26th. I have my collection of pictures and i am prepared to wholly annoy my PS to make sure we go with the right size. Im attaching more pictures of my pro-op self in clothes that I plan on wearing afterwards.My main goal is to walk around in these shirts without a bra, headlights on. Thanks again guys!
Doubting whether I should do this or not
I just got done with my pre op appointment. My PS re-measured me and I am sitting at 12.5 width. He told me for my proportions that he recommends 300cc. It is so much bigger than I wanted to be. But he showed me the chart that is provided with the implants and that and my width fits in with the 275-325 range. Im not sure what to do. He told me that if i go too small I could have an unnatural gap in between my breasts and I don't want that. I also dont want to feel like I went to big either. I am 5 days out and each day I just get more nervous and this appointment kicked it into high gear. Any advice on what I should do?
The calm before the storm
I check in at 5am tomorrow and I am extremely zen right now. Maybe I have exhausted all the worry in my little body or it could be the valium my doctor told me I could take tonight before the surgery to relax( Ive called both my PS and nurse a minimum of 12 times), who knows :). Ive finished all my shopping and rearranged my apartment to be BA friendly. Im still terrified about size but I was informed we are going in with 4 different sizes so I feel better. Ive picked up all my medication (4 total; valium, norco, antibiotics, anti nausea) and Ive pre made all my meals. Now I wait. This is the last night Ill have with my natural puppies.
1 Jul 2015
Day of treatment
I finally did it!!! I feel great right now.i wanted you guys to be the one of the first to know. The drugs kicked all the way in. They feel great, very Squishy right now and they feel like they will be the perfect size once the swelling goes doe. As of now I'm able to get on and off the bed by myself. I'm going to take it easy. So sleepy. I'll post pictures tomorrow, promise. I really appreciate you ladies for your encouragement. Thank you so much.
A few hours post
1 Jul 2015
Day of treatment
Initial high wore off lol. In a little pain now, just feeling heavy. Stomach is extremely bloated. The nurse told me to expect that due to the anesthesia. My left is considerably more swollen than my right. They are still fairly soft but I'll chalk that up to the swelling. All in all I'm not miserable but I've read it gets much worse on day two so we shall see. Got ansty and looked at them and I can say 300cc was the way to go. They are too big but I think they will be perfect when the swelling goes down. Picture included! P.s the neck pillow( kind used for plane rides) has been a lifesaver!
2 day post and feeling good!!
First, you ladies are the best. Thank you for all the encouragement. I found out my doc went with 325 on the left and 300 on the right. That was bigger than I wanted initially but I am so glad I trusted him. I think any smaller would have been too small. Yesterday was tougher than the first day but today I'm already feeling less tight and heavy, i was even able to take a shower( literally the best shower of my life). My worst symptom so far other than the tightness was nasuea. I threw up twice the first day and once more on the second. So I've been drinking ginger ale by thr gallon and I'm constantly icing. Overall, I'm so happy I did this.
1 week update!!
Feeling great. Have stopped taking all of the medication except for the muscle relaxers once in a while. Everyday I love them more and more. I got my stitches removed today. My PS also have me silicone strips to wear over the incisions And a new supper bra that feels great. I've been told to start massaging to loosen up my muscles ( which I was told were very thick;several years of lifting weights in order to build breast muscle are to blame). Left has dropped and feels pretty good. Right is still tight but I can open bottles now so I'm happy. As of now my PS is the best thing since sliced bread. Very patient and caring. This is one of the better decisions I have made in my short life. Cheers ladies! Cheers to being happy and comfortable in our skin.
Week 2 Update
Not feeling anymore pain other than when I lie down and I feel them slide into the uppermost part of my chest. Im still sleeping at at a 45 degree angle. My left id dropping so much faster than my right. My scars are healing pretty well, still wearing silicone sheets over them daily and will be until they are not visible.
Bra shopping experience
I finally went bra shopping. Wanted to wait long enough for the swelling to go done enough to give me an accurate size. Victoria secret has me at a DD. I almost cried. I was so upset because they looked huge in all the bras. I love the way they look without a bra and sports bra but padding and underwire were far too much. The associate helped me find "unlined" bras and they are perfect. They have underwire but completely no padding. It's exactly the look I was going for. It looks exactly as i did in my bombshell (add 2 cup sizes) bra before my BA. I bought 3 because they are having a sale, 2 for 42.50. I tried on at the very least 15 bras and walked out with perfect ones. I'm glad I didn't accept defeat once I felt they were too big. Overall healing well. I'll post my 3 week squish video later this week. Xo
91/2 month update
14 Apr 2016
9 months post
So aloooooot has happened. Ill start with the lefty. My left breast ended up dropping extremely low. Doc said my skin had great elasticity but that ended up with the breast being bottom heavy and nipple pointing up. I had a pocket revision to lift it up but there was a bit of an over correction so the bottom ended up being flat and shelf like instead of rounded on the bottom. Ill be having another pocket revision to lower it down some . As for righty, I absolutely developed CC. It sat up very high, was very tight and hard to the touch. Doc put me on accolate for 3 moths which helped but not completely. So i did some research and this is what I started doing. While taking the accolate, I was doing aggressive massage and i mean aggressive. Pushing and squishing, i was determined to hear the infamous "pop" I even started lying face down on the floor and rolling from side to side on the breast even having a friend put pressure on my back once in a while. While doing this i was taking 5 400mg of Vitamin E before bedtime and 5 wobenzym in the morning and before bedtime(available on amazon). My right has softened up almost completely. Not all the way there but ill be doing this for another month. This is not a complete remedy but it really worked for me. The picture is the latest I have taken. I also dont like the position of my nipples. I may ask to have them adjusted as well. They really look off center to me but I don't know if I am being overly critical. Let me know what you think and if they look funny to you as well. As always ladies xoxo
29 Jun 2016
11 months post
Thinking about going from moderate plus 325/300 to high profile 325 each. Does anyone have these sizes with high profile. Would it give me too much upper pole fullness? Any advice is appreciated!
So confused and I need help.
The pictures tell the story. One of my breasts was flat on the bottom. Ps and I decided to redo the pocket and put in a new implant so each breast would be 325 cc's. also injected steroids into the visible scar to help flatten the keloid out. But as I started to heal the other breast started to square out instead of being round. Turns out the Steriod killed the fat cells under the scar. To fix that we did a fat transfer to that breast to try and even that out. The last picture is 3 weeks post fat transfer and I think it looks worse then before. In my eyes they do not match at all. I don't want to have another revision because quite frankly I'm tired of being cut open. I just feel I've come to far and spent too much to have them look the way they do. What should I do?