44 and Tired of Having Implants - Mid Missouri, MO

I had implants put in 8 years ago. I'm embarrassed to say but it was really an impulse move. I was going in for partial tummy tuck, and before I knew it, I signed up for that plus the implants.

I was a 34D to start with, great size for my body, but they were starting to sag a bit. I rationalized my decision by getting implants that would give the appearance of "lift" and fullness. Well...they certainly did all that. I got 300cc Mentor saline above the muscle. At the last minute, I went a bit bigger than I had planned...all my doing, my surgeon never pressured me into anything.

I have read many horror stories here and elsewhere, about complications, botched surgeries, bad outcomes etc. I'm humbled to say I never had a bit of trouble with the implants. After they settled in, they looked great. But...they were so big, 36DDD, with a bit of weight gain over the past few years, I am now a 38DDD.

After I adjusted a bit to them, I realized that none of my shirts were going to fit like they used to. I know that's dumb, but it was something I never thought about before surgery. I also gained about 12 lbs almost immediately, and quickly, without any change in my diet or exercise routine. Finally, my neck and back started hurting more and more, and I started having many pains all over my body. I have no idea if my implants have anything to do with that or not.

My husband supported my decisions but was very clear that he didn't care if I had implants or not, he loved my body the way it was, and he would love it the way it would become. He really is an amazing man and I'm so blessed to have him.

Well, fast forward 8 years, and I just am so sick of these things. I am still a 38DDD...Pain in my back and neck, finding a bra that actually fits, my nipples are almost always hard, which creates a whole new set of wardrobe issues. I can't jog on the treadmill without it looking halfway pornographic, and I have known for a long time, the bottom line is that they are just way too big for my short frame. I essentially am all chest!

I'm going in tomorrow to have them removed. No other intervention tomorrow. I think I have a common sense view of how this is going to turn out. I know they won't look very attractive, but hope over time, I am able to see the skin contract a bit and hopefully they will fluff a bit. My PS said I have so much natural tissue that she thinks I will do quite well. I also figure that of in 12-18 months from now, if I hate them, or I'm miserable with the outcome, I can get a lift at that point.

The strangest part of this is that I'm sitting here, right now with "these" boobs, and in a about 14 hours from now, I will have "those" boobs...I just wish I knew what "those" we're going to be like. :)

I have to say, that it's the courage from so many women on this site that has helped me muster my own courage. Thanks to each of you. I will post updates after surgery and along the healing road. Thanks for taking time to read and please feel free to comment, or ask any questions. I feel a bit alone, as obviously, my husband can't quite fully understand this, nor my implant-less girlfriends. In fact, very few people know I even have implants. Feel free to reach out to me here. Thanks!

Enjoying some coffee with cream for the next 30 minutes, then switching to clear liquids as instructed. I'm nervous, excited, hopeful, and scared all at the same time. I have to be realistic and I know this will not be the end all of being healthy, but it WILL be a huge step in the right direction. Will post update and pics as soon as I can after surgery.

I'm feeling SO free. It's hard to explain. Everything went great. She only removed a small portion of the capsules, saying this creates much less opportunity for pockets of fluid to build. I'm home now, resting.

They put a basic sports bra on me in surgery, and I'm to wear that except when showering, obviously lol. Unfortunately, the bra is a bit too small, and my "cup runneth over" but not bad.

I am posting pics of post op. They look so much better than I thought they would! I had really prepared myself for worst case scenario, so I am very pleased. The weirdest thing is how they look from the side, sort of exaggeratingly (is that a word lol?) flat up top, but I'm sure time and a good bra will fix that. I'm certainly thrilled with the results, and it's only been 4 hours since surgery...must repeat in my mind "don't be too hard on yourself, don't be too hard on yourself..." Lol

Will post pics as I heal. Thanks for your support and words of encouragement!