I have 450cc silicone implants under the muscle. I...
I have 450cc silicone implants under the muscle. I had lost some weight and wanted to fill out my breasts more, and told the surgeon I wanted to go from a B cup to a D cup. I had used rice sizers and was thinking maybe 300cc, but when I went in for my consult the assistant told me that she had 500cc implants and that it doesn't look too big for an athletic build. The surgeon recommend 450cc, and they both said that almost everyone wishes that they went larger, and that even though it looked big to me, I would adjust after a year. Well I went from a B to a DDD and I was not happy, and still am not happy even 5 years later. I wish I had trusted myself more, and I wish that I hadn't been so insecure. I really did it because I thought my boyfriend at the time would be more attracted to me, because he didn't really like smaller breasts and would make comments about how small my breasts looked in certain clothes.
Now I am sick of how uncomfortable the implants are, I can feel my muscle squeezing them when I work out, and at the end of the day my chest is so sore from how heavy they are. My underwire bra is always digging in from the weight, but wireless bras are excruciating to wear because there isn't enough support and the underside of my breasts get extremely sore. On top of that, finding shirts is a nightmare and I feel like no matter what I wear, all I see is my chest and it's impossible to hide. I'll add pictures later. I was so embarrassed about how big they turned out that I never told anyone except my then-boyfriend.
I am scheduled to have the implants removed 2 weeks from now and I am so excited and nervous. I am paying someone at the surgeon's office to drive me, but I don't have anyone to stay with me after surgery because I don't want to tell any of my friends. I think I should be OK though, I didn't need any help when I had the implants put in and this is supposed to be less painful.
I know I'm gonna be pretty saggy, but that's what push up bras are for anyway. It will be worth it to feel comfortable again and not be embarrassed about my chest. And if I ever date anyone who gives me a hard time about my breasts again, I'll dump him! LOL
Thanks for everyone who has shared on here, it helped me make my decision to be natural again :)
Adding a current picture
Just adding a photo of what they look like now. Nothing wrong with them or anything, but I feel like they take up soooo much room on my chest, out of proportion to the rest of me. And they are uncomfortable, especially when I'm working out or running.
I've also had a lot of lower back pain the past 2 years and I think it could be from over-arching my back to help support the weight of the implants? In any case the implants are uncomfortable and even though I think I'm going to be pretty small and saggy after removing them, it will be worth it to be more comfortable and to feel like myself again!
A few months before I got implants
Geez, I would totally be happy if I could look like this again. You can't tell how saggy I was, but it wasn't THAT bad! This is the body I felt ashamed of just because my ex said my boobs were small?!?!? I feel embarrassed that I did this to myself just to feel more attractive. I spent a lot of money, but on the plus side I think that doing this played a part in helping me not to worry about what someone else thinks of my body. So I guess from that perspective at least I got a valuable lesson out of it!
Tomorrow is the big day!
My surgery is scheduled for early tomorrow morning. I occasionally am having second thoughts just because I'm nervous about what I'm going to look like after, and knowing I'm going to need to mentally adjust to seeing myself with a small chest. But every time I just look at pictures of myself now and know that I am more unhappy with how i look with huge fake implants than I ever was before. The alternative of leaving these in just isn't worth it to me. Especially since I've been trying to run more this week since I won't be able to for a little while, and every time my breasts are hurting I smile thinking about how I won't have to deal with that much longer :)
Here's a before and after picture, I'm 5'4" so these implants are way out of proportion for me! 31 years old, have had implants for 5 years.
They are out!!
4 Dec 2015
Day of treatment
Everything went great and my surgeon said he didn't think I would need a lift. I saw them before I put on the compression bras (Dr said to use 2 since he doesn't use drains). They look pretty good considering! I'm sure they will get a little smaller after swelling goes down, but I know I made the right choice. I'm so happy to be natural again! Pain isn't bad, my incisions are really the only thing that hurt and the painkillers take care of it. Thanks for all the support!
Day after surgery
Day after surgery and I don't have much pain at all. I quit taking the percocets because they were upsetting my stomach. I think my compression sports bra is the most uncomfortable thing right now but the Dr said it was important to keep compression on so that everything can heal down faster. I'm thinking about going to get a size medium if the band keeps digging in like this. I have a ways to go, it's kind of scary to see myself so saggy after being so XL in the chest but it is amazing to feel real boobs on myself again. I think once I heal up and can wear a push up bra I will be perfectly happy :)
Back to work
Today is my second day back at work. I was really nervous about whether anyone would notice my suddenly smaller chest but I decided not to worry about it. Once I got over that I was surprised how much happier I felt having a normal chest size, I actually felt a lot more comfortable. I'm still wearing 2 compression bras from Target, each with their padding inserts, and I took 2 more sets of padding inserts from my swimsuits and put them in-between the 2 bras, just for a little extra shape and padding. I'm wearing bulkier layers/sweaters to hopefully make my change in chest size less noticeable. I'll be glad when I can wear a normal push up bra, I think I'm going to be very happy with my natural self.
I was looking up pictures of Victoria's Secret models who have smaller breasts and admiring how beautiful and proportional and elegant/chic they look, and it was really inspiring!
One week after surgery
I'm so glad I explanted!! I feel SO much more comfortable and am so happy with how I am healing so far. I'm glad that I didn't get a lift or smaller implants (something that I started worrying I might want in the days right before and right after surgery). That was just nerves talking! I am really happy with my size, it is perfect for my frame and I can't believe I ever felt like I needed implants. I definitely have better self image than I used to.
Thank you to EVERYONE who has posted their photos on here! I don't know if I would have gone through with this if I didn't have the hope this site gave me that I could explant and not be deformed.
Unfortunately it looks like I have an indent forming on one side. From reading other stories on here I'm guessing it may be skin adhesion or scar tissue pulling. I'm going to call my doctor tomorrow and find out what he recommends, if I should star massaging or something like that. I'm not too worried, if it keeps healing weird I am reminding myself I can always have scar release surgery. And maybe it will resolve naturally, we will see. I am still so happy to be natural so it is totally worth it!
1 month update
After one month the indent is pretty much gone, and I am extremely happy that I explanted. Actually right now my breasts are bigger than before I got implants, and I think it is because I've gained weight. I'm going to work on losing weight so I'm sure my breasts won't stay this size, but it sure makes me glad I didn't replace with smaller implants or I would feel way too big still.
It feels amazing to be natural again!! 100% worth it :)