Scaredy Cat Getting BBL with Hasan in July. Miami, FL

ok, not sugar coating it: I am terrified of surgery/anesthesia. My family and friends mean everything to me and I can't let anything bad happen to me bc I know it would hurt them so much. Still though, a girl only has one life to live. So after a bunch of researching and realself stalking, I just put my deposit down for a BBL with Dr. Hasan. I feel good about him. That means I'm now in this thing!

This is so important to me because I have never felt even a little bit of confidence about my body. I still look smallish at 5'3 and 150lbs, but I'm not shapely. My weight is concentrated in my abdomen and my butt is flat on the sides. I eat healthy and have a good relationship with food and don't really wanna make myself miserable dieting anymore bc even when I have lost weight in the past, I was not happy with my shape. Life is too short to be on a treadmill every day driving my cortisol levels up and STILL be unhappy with my figure.

I tend to wear baggy clothes and long sweaters. I haven't worn anything form fitting without a huge sweater or cardigan over it in my entire adult life. I'll wear a jacket even in the summer sweating bullets just because I'm that uncomfortable with my figure.

My goal is mainly just to feel more comfortable in my own skin and be able to wear form fitting clothes (and have my butt look good lol). Yes it's shallow and yes it's a little selfish and yes I know it's not going to change my whole entire life in a day, but even if it just makes getting dressed in the morning or buying clothes more enjoyable it will be completely worth it to me. People are always nagging me to dress better and dress my age and this procedure will help me get there. I can't even IMAGINE going into a clothing store and having an actual good time trying on clothes. That would feel so awesome.

I'm not telling some of my family bc I know they would freak out and be judgmental. I had been debating even telling my closest gf because she is somewhat against cosmetic surgery and I didn't want to disappoint her, but to my absolute surprise, she was very supportive and even like, "Let me go with you and take care of you." Originally I was going to hire a private duty nurse, but now that I have my best friend going with me, it really put my mind at ease because I know she is going to back me up if anything goes wrong. But my mother is a worrier and overly nervous so I can't really talk to her about this.

I'm kind of also a worrier myself and just hope everything goes smooth with the labs and that the appointment doesn't get rescheduled at the last minute after I made all the flight and hotel arrangements. I have not ever planned a trip on such a grand scale before and it just seems like there's a whole lotta room for error. Please send me prayers and good vibes.

back to the positive... I'm finally doing something that will have long reaching positive results in my life and I'm excited to return the favor of sharing the process with you ladies.

Hard to look at it, but this is what I'm workin with. I was not even sure I wanted to post these but to be fair I'm always looking at realself ladies' before pictures to see if any of you have similar starting points.

I'm about 5'3, 153lbs, measurements 40"-31.5"-41". I've always been a little bit chubby and I'm cool with it for the most part, but I still wish I did not have that back fat roll and that my stomach were smaller. My butt is totally flat on the sides too ughhhh. Help meeeee, Dr. Hasan.

Still working on my hotel and plane arrangements. I tried to talk to my mom about it but she shut me down. It's stressing me out but it will be worth it. You have to take chances sometimes to get what you want.

FINALLY bought my plane tickets. It was $300 including the checked luggage and extra roomy aisle seat for the way back. I'm leaving 2 days before the surgery so that I have time to buy groceries etc and make sure I wake up early the next day for the pre-op appointment.

I decided to use airbnb instead of a hotel because it is a waaaaay better deal. Some of the rooms are dirt cheap, but it would be kind of awkward to be staying with some family and have them try to make conversation with us like "soooo what brings you to miami" and we are like "we want to get dat ass" lol

So I booked a PRIVATE 2 bedroom apartment for my girl and me. It looks pretty nice. It's about 30 minutes away from the office so it's not as close as I originally wanted it, but it's still not too far either and at least she'll be comfortable there. How many people can say they have a friend who would drop everything, buy plane tickets, and go with them to get a butt? I am so blessed.

I just need to rent a car now and I'm not looking forward to it because I think there might be extra fees to add another driver and I think I have reached my money spending capacity for today lol. I don't know what it is but spending large sums of $$$ all at once that makes me anxious as hell. I am not a big spender at alllll. Most people would be shocked I am even doing this thing.

I was looking at the vanity miami website today and saw there was a mother's day special for $600 less than my quote and my heart dropped bc I was like "did I seriously just not wait another week to get this special?" but I called the office and it turns out Hasan is still at the same price I locked in anyways. The office is probably thinking I'm cheap as hell lol. But $600 is a lot of money to an out of towner planning all these arrangements.