Busted Flat from Boca Raton, Waiting on Dr Fisher- Miami, FL

These pix are very embarrassing for me to post or even look at but because of all the personal experiences, hopes, dreams, fears and encouragement I've seen through the BBL RealSelf community, I feel I too can share my story.... I'm almost 41 and I have two adult children. My weight has definitely shifted in the past few years but have never exercised. While under clothing I am able to somewhat hide the fat and loose skin with Spanx and shape wear, I have never had a nice body and for many years now I have had to wear padded panties or face the ridicule and laughter of "NoAssAtAll" syndrome. I have always had a very flat butt, it unfortunately runs in my family. My jeans have always pretty much just slid off me even though they were very tight in the waist and gave me a muffin top. Realistically speaking, my ideal shape for myself is a small waist, evenly proportioned hips and an upside down heart shaped rear-end with some projection. I want a natural looking figure and I do not expect nor do I want a Kim K or J-Lo butt. Im barely 5’2” and my weight fluctuates btwn 110 and 115. I have a “square” shape with very skinny “chicken” legs. My upper thighs do have some fat on them that I'd like to be lipo’d out so I can have a "gap". I have a lot of fat on my back and bra line as well as under my arms. Ive also have a double chin that I think needs some lipo (if I need to gain weight, my face will gain quickly). I was told that I'd need to weight at least 120 lbs (per Dr Fisher whom I've yet to meet, I only did an online consultation). I'm stuck between scared I won't have enough fat and scared that he won't suck it all out leaving me with more flab. Also, I have the fear of excessively loose hanging skin in my abdomen area after lipo. While I did have natural child birth and no stretch marks, I had cancer in 2009 and had to have a hysterectomy and was left with a long scar going from navel to my pelvic bone

Ive decided to finance my BBL. I suck at saving money but am easily able to pay my bills. I figure this is the only way I won't spend money on "pretty shinny things" when I know I have bills to be paid.
I have pretty much stalked the RS site for the past few months but have known that I wanted a BBL for a few years. I think finding this site gave me the obsession and motivation to "get er done".
I have always had to watch what I eat to maintain and keep my weight between 108 and 112. So when three days ago I was given the go-ahead to pack on pounds, being the Pisces that I am, some chemical malfunction in my brain has made me lose 3 lbs! I'm told that Dr. Fisher is booked until March, so my first opportunity is about 7 weeks away. Last night I bought my first box of Oreo cookies in almost 2 years! Let me tell you, they just dont taste the same when they are no longer forbidden. I just don't understand :-/
So, here it goes....I took these pictures about a week ago when I submitted them to Dr Fisher for an online consultation. I was about 114 and was told I needed to gain 6lbs. I currently can fit into absolutely nothing I own and battle the downside of gaining weight for this surgery, thinking Im ruining my body.

I had originally scheduled my consultation for the week before the sx. I changed it two more times and finally decided that the earliest I can get in to meet with Dr Fisher and be able to to the bloodwork at the same time was best for me. I'm so scared I will gain too much weight. Right now the scale says 112 but last night I was at 116. I just don't understand where 4 lbs can go over night yet I can not fit into anything. I miss being skinny but I need a butt! Praying to incorporate both and be a better and sexier me. I'm so tired of wearing padded panties and can't wait until I can clean out my closet! There's oh so many dresses, jeans and tops just collecting dust.
Q: does anyone know if I'll be able to wear my old jeans? Will I have to purchase new ones? I've included some wish pictures that I got online. I am trying to keep my expectations and wish pictures realistic for my body with women's before pictures who seem to be about the same shape and size as I am.