POSTED UNDER Breast Reduction REVIEWS
23 Yrs Ols 32J, Going for This All Alone- Parents Disapprove!
ORIGINAL POST
Hello Hello~ Im 22 years ols, 139 lbs, 5'5, and...
royalqJuly 5, 2016
WORTH IT$1,499
Hello Hello~ Im 22 years ols, 139 lbs, 5'5, and have no kids. My breast started growing when I was 10 and almost immediately sagged. by the time I was 13 I was able to fit my mother 36DD playtex bras. I was starting to get comments from boys and one commented that my breast were saggy:(. At 15 I could no longer fit typical store bras and had to go to a Russsian boutique and fitted at 34G. At 19 I finally stopped growing and rested at a big , saggy 32J. I absolute hate my breast, the appearance, yhe shoulder pain, neck stiffness, bra bruising, etc. I hate them so much I feel my mental state is declining into dangerous territory. I occasionally think abut hurting myself, I think about taking a sharp knife out of my kitchen and cutting my breast off and just going into the emergency room and have them stitch me up. I thought mutilating myself would be better than having them. But I love myself too much and dont want to hurt myself. I tried losing weight though i was really overweight, I went from 155lbs to 129lbs and my breast only dropped one cup to a 32I. At 129lbs your could see the out line of my ribs so I know its not something that can be solved with weight loss. So why havent I gotten a BR? Because my parents (who I live with) firmly disapprove. They are very scared and paranoid of doctors. They tell me that because I have obamacare that Molina Healthcare (my insurance) is going to send me to a bad doctor who doesnt know what he's doing and is going to mess me up. One time I went to my primary physician for my annual physical and he ordered routine labs with a CBC (complete blood count), can you believe my parents were against me getting a blood draw? They said "they are going to inject you with an illness to send to you to the hospital! Once these people see you have insurance they will do anything to get your insurance to pay them" Or "they are going to sell your blood!". They are also afraid that I wont be able to breastfeed if i have children but i dont even want kids nor do I have a man sooooo.....Yeah they are pretty extreme and super tinfoil hatted. But because I was young and didnt wan to upset them I went 4 years with these breast (initial proposed the idea to them when I was 18). But I finally have an insurance willing to cover 90%. I feel like this year is my year. I want a BR this year. the timing is perfect. Im about to enter into the Nursing program either in January or May. The program is intense and expensive and when I get out of school Im going to have to hit the ground running for work to pay off the loan. And there's no guarantee that my future hospital insurance will cover this procedure. right now my bills are small and i have insurance. Im only concerned about having enough money to pay for my 10% if I get approved and I would like to take a month or two off of work to heal. Its going to take quite a bit of money that my parents will definitely not help me with. I was thinking to start a GoFundMe but I dont think anyone would care....
So thats my story! Im scared and all alone so I need some support. Im going to make my first call to set up a consultation today. There are 4 doctors in Miami within my network but because Miami is a nearly 2 hour drive from me I might only be able to consult with one or two of them. the funny things is they all do procedures at the same hospital so it would be awesome to consult all in one day but because they have different offices its not possible. So any tips, advice, and plenty of encouragement are welcome!
So thats my story! Im scared and all alone so I need some support. Im going to make my first call to set up a consultation today. There are 4 doctors in Miami within my network but because Miami is a nearly 2 hour drive from me I might only be able to consult with one or two of them. the funny things is they all do procedures at the same hospital so it would be awesome to consult all in one day but because they have different offices its not possible. So any tips, advice, and plenty of encouragement are welcome!
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Replies (83)
July 6, 2016
You've come to the right place for some support even if it's only virtual. My first thought was "she's only 22. She should wait" then I remembered how my pain started at 28, I'd be a hypocrite if I tried to say you should wait. A lot of people do it because they don't feel right in their body. The ones that waited, like me, eventually ended up with pain.
You are making the best decision for yourself.
My advice.... research the doctors. You might find reviews on this site. Some people go through multiple surgeons before settling. I went to one and was good with her. The other thing, you need support. Make sure you get an auntie, cousin, friend willing to take care of you. While you're recuperating, you really don't want to have your parents raising your blood pressure. I'm grown and still haven't told my mom, granted she lives outside of the country. But my neighbor took care of me for 2 days then checked on me every day for the last 2 weeks. You'll need that help. I thought I'd want to manage on my own but it turned out that I needed her help mostly for moral support.
Best of luck to you. I'll be following :)
You are making the best decision for yourself.
My advice.... research the doctors. You might find reviews on this site. Some people go through multiple surgeons before settling. I went to one and was good with her. The other thing, you need support. Make sure you get an auntie, cousin, friend willing to take care of you. While you're recuperating, you really don't want to have your parents raising your blood pressure. I'm grown and still haven't told my mom, granted she lives outside of the country. But my neighbor took care of me for 2 days then checked on me every day for the last 2 weeks. You'll need that help. I thought I'd want to manage on my own but it turned out that I needed her help mostly for moral support.
Best of luck to you. I'll be following :)
July 6, 2016
Thank you! I dont know if ill be able to find a person to help me recover. Maybe my sister in law but she has 2 kids.
July 6, 2016
lol Probably not the best option. I was tempted to go stay with my cousin and his wife then I remembered the two kids they have. They saw me this weekend and kept asking why I'm not making them fly. It broke my heart.
Will your parents come collect you from the hospital and look after you for the first day or two? Most doctors won't proceed unless somebody there to pick you up after surgery and you have someone to look after you for at least the first 24hrs. I don't mean to scare you, but my aunt is less than 5ft tall, 63, had toddler size breasts and got tired of everyone else telling her not to do this. She went in one day only making arrangements to be picked up. No one knew and no one bothered to take time off of work when they found out. Needless to say, things got complicated.
Time to make a list of your girlfriends and see who is the most nurturing :) We all have one of those.
Will your parents come collect you from the hospital and look after you for the first day or two? Most doctors won't proceed unless somebody there to pick you up after surgery and you have someone to look after you for at least the first 24hrs. I don't mean to scare you, but my aunt is less than 5ft tall, 63, had toddler size breasts and got tired of everyone else telling her not to do this. She went in one day only making arrangements to be picked up. No one knew and no one bothered to take time off of work when they found out. Needless to say, things got complicated.
Time to make a list of your girlfriends and see who is the most nurturing :) We all have one of those.
July 6, 2016
Those are wise words. I'm 52, and both my mom and husband had some misgivings, nothing like your parents though. There is always some risk to any surgery, and they want to protect me. They also want me to be healthy and comfortable, so I had to explain how this would help me, and why I was doing it. It sounds like your parents probably would take that differently than they did. My mom wanted to know if the surgeon was board certified and had I looked up his record, and where did I get his name....She used to be a doctors wife and knows all the insider ways to find a good one and made sure I hadn't missed anything. My husband is always supportive and respectful, and tried not to show how nervous he was. He got ahold of my after care info and made me stick to it all 100%. He and my mom have been on the phone a lot too, helping each other through it. It's very sweet, a little annoying, but sweet. I think your parents ultimately are objecting because they love you, they just have a different idea of what could happen and may not be ready to understand the benefits. Maybe someday they will change their minds about your decision, but nothing will change their love for you.
There was a gal on here, one of the stories I read, who had a neighbor she didn't even really know, come over and take care of her for days without her even asking.
I'm twelve days post. I think that I really needed someone for the first couple of days, but after that I could have coped if I had been alone. You are younger, you may snap back even faster. I bet your mom and dad will at least keep you fed and help you out after the surgery, even if they won't help you get the surgery, don't you think?
There was a gal on here, one of the stories I read, who had a neighbor she didn't even really know, come over and take care of her for days without her even asking.
I'm twelve days post. I think that I really needed someone for the first couple of days, but after that I could have coped if I had been alone. You are younger, you may snap back even faster. I bet your mom and dad will at least keep you fed and help you out after the surgery, even if they won't help you get the surgery, don't you think?
July 6, 2016
My mom is a softie. She had the least reactive response to my decision and told me to go with someone to the consultation. Theres a 98% chance that she'll help me
July 14, 2016
KGKat - yep, in my 40s, I got the vibe from my mom that she wasn't sure BR was a good decision in favor of my health. She's a doctor's ex-wife too, LOL (my dad). So 20s or 40s, royalq, moms are moms! My BR timeline, from first consult/physical to surgery day was about 60 days. I told her generally I was thinking about it, and then didn't say a whole lot about it until surgery was scheduled and I had just about any roadblock cleared. Keeping it simple was best for all, so all good.
July 6, 2016
I hope it all works out for you and you can get the BR you want. If you can't get your copay together, you might want to try some Physical Therapy to get you through the next few years. If you are going into nursing it would be very unusual for you not to be able to get this procedure covered 100%. Medical folks have medical plans and wave often wave fees to each other.
I hope you get the procedure now, but if you do have to put it off there are some ways to make that work out OK too.
I hope you get the procedure now, but if you do have to put it off there are some ways to make that work out OK too.
July 6, 2016
Hi I read your post today and felt compelled to answer. I've trolled this site for almost three years and it's time to give something back. Please make the decision for yourself. It is your body and I'm 55 (and a mother) Often we mean well as mother's and often it is our own fears we are projecting on our children. Deep down your mom may be scared. I am 7 days post op and I do not regret the decision at all. Not one bit. I regret I did not do it sooner. Life would have been different if I had. Research your doctors. Some Miami doctors may do video interviews (free, video calls over the internet). So, take your time, ask people, reach out to previous patients and make your decision. This community will offer great support.
July 6, 2016
Sorry that you have to go through it alone..I can only imagine the feeling..But we all have put it off for one reason or another..And only you will know that it's time to have it done..no more excuses or no one standing in the way. But most of all pray about it..Best wishes. .I'll be following...
P.S... I'm 2 weeks out and it is a good feeling to be on the other side...
P.S... I'm 2 weeks out and it is a good feeling to be on the other side...
UPDATED FROM royalq
2 months pre
Consultations
royalqJuly 6, 2016
So im down to 3 doctors. One of them, Dr. Zaydon didnt work with my specific obamacare insurance. I called the only female surgeon on my list but her staff said they wont be doing consultations until the 3rd week of August. Then down to 2 surgeons. They are in the same office but different days, darn. The office is alot closer than the hospital they do surgery at, its about an hour drive .One of them i cant see until August (what the heck is going on in August?!), so I called to set up an appointment with the other doctor, Dr. Levine, and they wamted to see me this Friday! I was like woah, i need time to process these lol. So i set it up for next week wednesday at 12pm. Im super excited!
Replies (11)
July 6, 2016
Also i have my own list of questions I have for the doctor, but do you guys have any suggestions for important questions to ask? I want drains, so I'll ask if he uses them
July 6, 2016
Ask what percentage of their practice is breast surgery and how much of that is reductions. Even if they do a lot of breast surgeries if it is all implants and cancer reconstruction they might not be as skilled in what you want.
Ask what hospitals they use then check up on those hospitals. You don't want to end up with a serious infection from a poorly run facility.
Don't get hung up on their personality. They should care about their patients health and not seem callous but beyond that it does not matter. You are looking for a competent doctor not a friend.
Ask if they are board certified and if they belong to any professional groups then look up those groups later.
If they do not have M.D. after their name find out why.
If they are not respectful do not choose them. If they treat you like an idiot they are unlikely to respect your preferences or even make an effort to do their best.
If they promise you anything and everything do not trust them. There is a range of how much tissue is safe to take and sometimes they have to take a bit more to be safe too. If they need to take out a certain bit that is connected to other bits they may have to take that whole section or leave that whole section. They can not predict your exact size with certainty unless they are willing to play fast and loose with the health of your breast. Ask about how much tissue they think they can remove and focus more on that than size.
I hope that helps.
Ask what hospitals they use then check up on those hospitals. You don't want to end up with a serious infection from a poorly run facility.
Don't get hung up on their personality. They should care about their patients health and not seem callous but beyond that it does not matter. You are looking for a competent doctor not a friend.
Ask if they are board certified and if they belong to any professional groups then look up those groups later.
If they do not have M.D. after their name find out why.
If they are not respectful do not choose them. If they treat you like an idiot they are unlikely to respect your preferences or even make an effort to do their best.
If they promise you anything and everything do not trust them. There is a range of how much tissue is safe to take and sometimes they have to take a bit more to be safe too. If they need to take out a certain bit that is connected to other bits they may have to take that whole section or leave that whole section. They can not predict your exact size with certainty unless they are willing to play fast and loose with the health of your breast. Ask about how much tissue they think they can remove and focus more on that than size.
I hope that helps.
July 7, 2016
Ask to see pictures of previous reductions they have done for girls your age. My doctor had a whole binder full of pictures of reductions he did.
Make sure you talk about any previous history you've had with anesthesia and any allergies you have to medications would affect your surgery etc. ask about scarring cream to help with recovery. I also asked about the sutures they would be using (dissolvable or not).
You may want to ask about how many follow up appointments you'll be required to go to. I have to travel 3 hours to do 3 follow up appointments.
Ask about how to best reduce risk of infection after surgery. Ask about the special bra they will need to provide you post surgery. Ask about the steps you will need to prep for surgery (surgical prep wash, what foods and drinks to eat before day of surgery)
Ask about statistics on your ability to breast feed later in life.
Ask if they will send your removed breast tissue to pathology to test for cancer.
Ask if they will need to remove breast tissue from under your arms.
Make sure you talk about any previous history you've had with anesthesia and any allergies you have to medications would affect your surgery etc. ask about scarring cream to help with recovery. I also asked about the sutures they would be using (dissolvable or not).
You may want to ask about how many follow up appointments you'll be required to go to. I have to travel 3 hours to do 3 follow up appointments.
Ask about how to best reduce risk of infection after surgery. Ask about the special bra they will need to provide you post surgery. Ask about the steps you will need to prep for surgery (surgical prep wash, what foods and drinks to eat before day of surgery)
Ask about statistics on your ability to breast feed later in life.
Ask if they will send your removed breast tissue to pathology to test for cancer.
Ask if they will need to remove breast tissue from under your arms.
July 7, 2016
These ladies said everything I would have said and I ended up asking.
One thing I found out though and you may want to as well... Surgeons sometimes have a couple of hospitals where they do their procedures. Like KGKat said, ask about those places. But also, if you have to pay something out of pocket, check their payment arrangements. One might be more favorable than the other.
My surgeon uses 2 hospitals. I found out on Friday that I had to pay $1700 when I show up at surgery on Monday. I was pissed. Then they said well "how about a deposit for $560". I said no. lol. Then they said "how about a payment plan over 12 months". So I ended up taking that. Apparently, the other hospital would have required a deposit and full payment within 3 months. At least 12 months gives me some breathing room and softened the shock.
Also, you might want to research the incisions that they practice most. I've seen few vertical only incisions on this site. The anchor is more common. If you end up with a preference, you might want to make sure you know what they practice most. My surgeon does the anchor. I was thinking of some liposuction experiment then a vertical incision. When she told me she was comfortable with doing them, I had to make up my mind about accepting the anchor. It's not worth an experiment.
One thing I found out though and you may want to as well... Surgeons sometimes have a couple of hospitals where they do their procedures. Like KGKat said, ask about those places. But also, if you have to pay something out of pocket, check their payment arrangements. One might be more favorable than the other.
My surgeon uses 2 hospitals. I found out on Friday that I had to pay $1700 when I show up at surgery on Monday. I was pissed. Then they said well "how about a deposit for $560". I said no. lol. Then they said "how about a payment plan over 12 months". So I ended up taking that. Apparently, the other hospital would have required a deposit and full payment within 3 months. At least 12 months gives me some breathing room and softened the shock.
Also, you might want to research the incisions that they practice most. I've seen few vertical only incisions on this site. The anchor is more common. If you end up with a preference, you might want to make sure you know what they practice most. My surgeon does the anchor. I was thinking of some liposuction experiment then a vertical incision. When she told me she was comfortable with doing them, I had to make up my mind about accepting the anchor. It's not worth an experiment.
July 7, 2016
Ooo~ awesome. So its possible that my share of the costs can be spread out over the months? Would that depend on my insurance, doctor office, or the hospital?
July 14, 2016
That depends mostly on the hospital. It might also depend on the state.
MA was more proactive with health insurance and payment. I barely ever had to pay anything. In CA, they've twisted the Affordable Health Care to something it was not meant to be. So even with my pricey insurance I still have 15% to cover.
I say it's mostly hospital dependent based on their relationship with your insurance. Since I'm in-network, my plastic surgeon had to take what the insurance offered for the procedure. That part didn't cost me. The part that cost is the hospital which is not necessarily the same as the surgeon's office. They charge for the room, equipment, the anesthesiologist, extra hours over the scheduled time etc... When I pushed and said I couldn't pay it in a lump sum, the hospital agreed to take monthly payment without interest. If you don't ask, you'll never no :)
MA was more proactive with health insurance and payment. I barely ever had to pay anything. In CA, they've twisted the Affordable Health Care to something it was not meant to be. So even with my pricey insurance I still have 15% to cover.
I say it's mostly hospital dependent based on their relationship with your insurance. Since I'm in-network, my plastic surgeon had to take what the insurance offered for the procedure. That part didn't cost me. The part that cost is the hospital which is not necessarily the same as the surgeon's office. They charge for the room, equipment, the anesthesiologist, extra hours over the scheduled time etc... When I pushed and said I couldn't pay it in a lump sum, the hospital agreed to take monthly payment without interest. If you don't ask, you'll never no :)
July 6, 2016
Be careful. Sometimes the wait is because they are good and in demand. Sometimes if they are too available it's because they can't get patients for a reason. It is also possible that you got lucky and the had a cancellation. Price Isn't an indicator of skill either, thankfully. More expensive often means they are only interested in money and the moderately priced are often the best. Be sure your doctor is board certified and is an actual medical doctor with M.D. after their name and hopefully FACS or something like it. You can look up online and see if they have been sued for malpractice or if there are any open cases or reviews. Sometimes good doctor's are falsely accused so read the details of any actions you find before judging them. Also make sure they have done a lot of these. Plastic surgeons can do a wide range of procedures and someone who works mostly on noses may be able to do your reduction but the results won't be as good as someone who does reductions and other breastwork frequently and consistently.
I am telling you what my Mom has told me and what I would tell my daughter if I had one, or what I will tell my son's if they need surgery. Good luck.
I am telling you what my Mom has told me and what I would tell my daughter if I had one, or what I will tell my son's if they need surgery. Good luck.
July 9, 2016
Take a deep breath and relax. Everything will fall in its place in time . Trust me am 46 years old and now it's the right time for me. My breast were saggy like yours in my teen and I was ashamed of them but also notice it got me attention from man and yes hate from other woman. Tru the years I been complaining about back it got worse as I got older because after having a child my breast got larger. Finally I decided it was time for me I won't rush it. It's important to research and get the best surgeon possible your are only doing this once. Your young and have a lot of time ahead of you in terms of youth . Don't get inpatient
July 14, 2016
There are lots of financial options so do ask; one option is credit-think credit card products for health care-and some might offer interest-free options that makes the finances work. Payment policies are all over the place so you just have to ask and find a way that works for you. You said you had an Obamacare plan-if you have a high deductible plan, know and work the HSA (health savings account) plan.
Good job on vetting your surgeons. Some things I did that helped as I got started were to talk to someone who had a BR (and she shared everything, we'll leave it at that, but her scars looked great!), see if you know any patients of these docs - the world is a small place, and too, one of my questions was how many of my procedure do you do, and what's your style? My doctor does multiple BRs every week, and has a conservative style to balance health, desired outcome, and a reliable outcome overall. So going down to a certain cup at all costs isn't the mission statement-shooting for best outcome is. So, I'm at 2 weeks PO, my healing got an A+, and I'm excited about the next stage of my BR journey!
Good job on vetting your surgeons. Some things I did that helped as I got started were to talk to someone who had a BR (and she shared everything, we'll leave it at that, but her scars looked great!), see if you know any patients of these docs - the world is a small place, and too, one of my questions was how many of my procedure do you do, and what's your style? My doctor does multiple BRs every week, and has a conservative style to balance health, desired outcome, and a reliable outcome overall. So going down to a certain cup at all costs isn't the mission statement-shooting for best outcome is. So, I'm at 2 weeks PO, my healing got an A+, and I'm excited about the next stage of my BR journey!
November 20, 2016
hi, which female surgeon did you see? i am in miami. i've interviewed 2 female board-certified plastic surgeons. One in-network and one out-of-network. I'm not approved yet (working on it fast and furious) but i'm close to my out-of-network out of pocket being met for the year (!!) so if i can get approved by the end of the year, then i'm thinking i might do the female out-of-network b/c she has a lot of experience with reductions but doesn't take insurance.
UPDATED FROM royalq
2 months pre
One consult down, 1 to go!
royalqJuly 14, 2016
Hey ladies! I had my first consultation today and it went really well. I arrived there nervous as heck. A lady led me into the room and made me remove my clothes and wear a blue gown. Soon afterwards Dr. Jason E. levine came in and spoke with me. He explained a few things and went through he risks and proceeded to take pictures for my insurance and to take measurements. He said he can probably take off about 700 grams. I had a long list of questions on paper and I handed it to him. He answered all of it. He's not board certified because he's new to the practice, he said he's board eligible. He's only done 10 reductions! that was a huge no for me, i need someone with more experience. He uses dis solvable sutures which i didnt like because it seemed like alot of the wound break down and complications i see here are from people who had dissolvable stitches. He also didnt seem like he was confident enough to make my breast a nice C cup and he kept mentioning how difficult it is to get them even. I wont be going to this surgeon. But there is another surgeon there that I was planning to visit anyways, he's the one in my last post that I said wasnt available until august. Staff said it was because he was in high demand. He's very decorated, has FACS and MD after his name, over 20 years of experience. I set up an appointment with him for August 4th. But dr. Jason and his staff told me that i have a very high chance of being approved and that my insurance is usually quite cooperative. They said my BMI is good and i have alot of the symptoms the insurance looks for. The lady at the front desk it sending my info to my insurance and said she should hear a response in 1-2 weeks.
Thank you all for you question suggestions! I wrote them all down and whipped it out in the office. Some of the questions you guys told me to ask I wouldnt have even thought of ( type of sutures, board certification I assumed all surgeons were board certified, how even can he make them, etc), but those questions were very good and lead me to make the decision not to go with him. Im nervously waiting to see what my insurance says...
Thank you all for you question suggestions! I wrote them all down and whipped it out in the office. Some of the questions you guys told me to ask I wouldnt have even thought of ( type of sutures, board certification I assumed all surgeons were board certified, how even can he make them, etc), but those questions were very good and lead me to make the decision not to go with him. Im nervously waiting to see what my insurance says...
Replies (5)
July 14, 2016
Wishing you all the best hun. Congrats on making the decision to do this for YOU! Yay!!!
July 14, 2016
One thing that my doctor and the staff told me was that plastic surgery definitely has a demand ebb and flow-sometimes it's spring so patients are healed for swimsuit season, or a patient's profession drives demands-summer patients include teachers with time off for healing in the summer, that sort of thing, so if a doc is booked, it might just be a busier time for his or her practice. Ask the staff if they have any insight on when busy and crazy times are.
July 14, 2016
Good luck! 20 years experience is what you need - not someone who's only done 10, good grief!
July 14, 2016
Hi if I can give you any advice I would suggest not to rush this I know you have been waiting a really long time , but I work for a Plastic Surgeon in South Africa and you do not want to go for the cheapest or the quickest operation. There is a reason why they have long waits because they good. If they far away but come highly recommended that's great go to them . Please think about this. They need to be certified this is not a small procedure please look after yourself do your research and go to the best you worth it !!!! :) all the best .
July 14, 2016
I agree with the others that you were right to shy away from the "new" doctor. Too many red flags there. My surgeon has literally performed like 3000 reductions in his 30 years as a plastic surgeon, and I had zero complications in my healing.
Wanted to say that you are very brave, having to deal with your family being so negative/paranoid about you having this done. They are being selfish and don't understand the physical and emotional toll this is taking on you having such large breasts. Looking at your photos, this surgery is a must. You will be so much happier. I didn't tell my family until after my surgery because I didn't want to deal with the negative comments (I had actually contemplated never telling them about the actual surgery and just playing it off as weight loss), but that's not an option for you because you live with them. Keep moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, surgery will be a distant memory and you will have a whole new life. Don't let anyone talk you out of it.
Wanted to say that you are very brave, having to deal with your family being so negative/paranoid about you having this done. They are being selfish and don't understand the physical and emotional toll this is taking on you having such large breasts. Looking at your photos, this surgery is a must. You will be so much happier. I didn't tell my family until after my surgery because I didn't want to deal with the negative comments (I had actually contemplated never telling them about the actual surgery and just playing it off as weight loss), but that's not an option for you because you live with them. Keep moving forward, putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it, surgery will be a distant memory and you will have a whole new life. Don't let anyone talk you out of it.
So, I'm 3 weeks post op now and my mom ended up coming around to my decision and even helped me out for a week. I wish u the same blessings and know your WHYS especially when it getd mentally exhausting.
Much love...will be following your progress.