The Body I Always Envisioned - Miami, FL

BBSWCF and Tigerlilly50, thank you for making me feel welcome and the feeling that my story is of worth. I fought the real me for decades, keeping her hidden away and focusing on my career. Life had other ideas and forced the issue. The BBL was not undertaken to attract men or women; after all, I've been asexual all my life. For me, the BBL was uncharacteristically all in the name of safety... to provide secondary female characteristics so that hateful people wouldn't look at me and say "there goes a man in a dress... let's kill him". In that respect, these procedures are potentially life saving. The kindest comment of all was two days ago when my wife said " your body looks amazing... completely natural". If you knew her, you'd realize that these are not easy words for her to say.

I think it speaks volumes that Dr. Salama was able to give you the results that you wanted. Theres nothing that can really describe being able to look in a mirror and feeling that what you have on the outside matches what is on the inside. For whatever reason, sometimes people don't understand the discontent when those two don't match up. So it doesn't matter if you are transgender or not, we all have that challenge as we work toward satisfying our own ideal of who we want to be. Good luck to you ChristinaMagdalena, I hope your journey is closer to complete :-)

Good for you and so happy you found someone who does great work! Also interesting comment from Tigerlilly50 because my WHOLE life I have felt the ugly face I see in the mirror does not represent who I am inside, a kind person who would never bully someone for their looks -- I have never had a problem understanding someone transgender because in a way, I think any woman or man who feels what they see in the mirror does not reflect who they are feels immense pain.

I realize the comments to follow have no real relation to the BBL. It's more about a realized life. A life in full that was never anticipated. As I write this, I'm recovering from breast augmentation that Dr. Salama completed just a few hours ago on me. I didn't go for the huge breasts, rather, my directive was "full-C, err on the small side"; "classy, not trashy, completely natural looking with balance and proportion". To his immense credit, once again, he listened and fulfilled my wishes". Now, on with the parallel story. Every time I look in the mirror, I still think I'm that man I've been (internally) running from my whole life. The "real false role" I seemed destined to play. Then I step out into the light of day and, slowly, all that misperception fades. I'm constantly chased by men (and boys) with goofy, lovesick looks on their faces. I get hateful, spiteful looks from women. I'm shocked... finding I pass 100% was not expected. Being seen as one of the beautiful, confident women boggles my mind. Recently, I was asked to be the "new face" for a cosmetic surgery clinic because of a "natural beauty" that requires no makeup! Really!!! Me!!! I'm 53 years old!!! I'm stupefied. I'm still so insecure about my looks and public image, that I feel the universe is "pulling my leg". Why is no one "clocking" me as transgender? I'm humbled by the tremendous gift I've been given. Now for the down-side of being seen by some as "hiding" (they've got it wrong, I hid for 50+ years). Returning internationally through Houston last month I was detained by U.S. Customs at Bush Intercontinetal. I sheepishly handed my unchanged documents to the agent, only to have him yell out "transgender, I presume" for all to hear. Really... why not just paint a target in my back! I was then sent to detention for presumably stolen documents, but not before a group of Customs agents gathered, had me stand across the aisle and ogled me while looking at my old photos. Then there's the Florida legislature considering making it illegal for me to pee, punishable with up to a year in jail and a $10,000 fine! Consequently, I'm hurrying to change all my documents to avoid the hassle.