40 Yr Old 1 child Body needs help- Miami, FL

So my dad died suddenly. It was a stroke and they found him on the floor. I postponed for a few months. August 15th is my new day. That day is weird though bc my friend had told me a long time ago he had a dream with virgin mary that told him the world would end august 15th. I may change it again. Still too early to even bother.

Wow so this is really happening. I keep wanting the days to go by faster so I can already start healing. I want this to be over with already so I can get on with living. I have a lot to do. Will be going to work out of town in the next few days and that should be fun and will get my mind off of things. I'm terribly anxious and the fact I can't drink or smoke really have my anxiety on high. I also don't want to eat more because I don't want to gain excess fat. I'm probably going to end up just doing exercise or reading to pass the time. I'm out of school, no work until Friday and just bored at home. My nrain is racing at a million miles per hour.

These are the photos from today