Taking Control of my Life and Choosing VSG. Mexico, MX

I had my VSG and gallbladder removal done by Dr. Ponce de Leon and was amazed how great I felt after the surgery. Honestly, other than the first day of gas pains, there was little to no pain at all. I knew from reading many posts that walking would be the best thing, which it was. After returning home I have struggled with getting enough protein in, but continue to have protein drinks as much as possible. Food (if you can call it that) goes down ok if it is soup, pudding, jello or liquids. I've tried cottage cheese and it doesn't sit well yet. I'm hoping at some point moving to soft and regular food will not seem as impossible a task as it is today. The thought of having Christmas dinner with my family 2 months from now, none of who know what I have done nor do I want to share with them, seems insurmountable right now. Despite not believing I will ever "eat" again, I am amazed how I have absolutely NO HUNGER, and how little I think about food now. I am eating/drinking for fuel only, and not for pleasure. What a difference.

I can't believe this is becoming real in 13 days. I'm terrified of complications, of failing, of not being able to conceal or to defend what I am doing - but I'm still going forward. I have an extremely busy month ahead. I'm going to do weight and measurements this week and then start the pre - diet. Getting very real.

I've been researching VSG surgery for well over a year - maybe 2. During this time I have met by accident 3 people who have had the surgery. While heading to Mexico and paying this much at first seemed too drastic and risky, I believe I have well researched the doctors and clinics and am gaining confidence with my decision. I am at peace with it. I am 45 years old and since I turned 33 I have gained weight at a steady pace. I had gotten used to going up a size every 6 months and seemed to accept my fate, so to speak, as it just seemed hopeless. I have refused to be in photos for years and feel like I am missing out on my family memories. The evening before my daughter's graduation, i asked my father (who I see only a few times a year) what he thought of what I was going to wear. He said "my God, you have got to lose weight". I said "I know, I am an intelligent person and I have to look in the mirror everyday. I'm aware, but it is hard". Then I went upstairs and cried. How I hated having my picture taken that day. That was 2 years ago, I suppose when I started looking at VSG. The great news is once I decided I really wanted to do it, my husband was so supportive. We have both agreed we don't want anyone to know as for now, I need this to be a private journey. I'm going alone to Mexico with a surgery date of Oct 5th. Dr. Jaimie Ponce de Leon is performing the surgery at the INT hospital. I am praying things go well. As the date is less than a month away, I am nervous but still believe this is the best decision for me. I am thankful for the posts I have read from other sleeves and all of the great information on this site. I hope to look back on this one day as the first step to taking my life back. I know it will not be easy and I will have to break the extreme relationship I have with food, but honestly, I am tired of the hold it has on me and my every thought.