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How to Share with DH? - Maryland, MD

ORIGINAL POST

I'm really concerned of my DH reaction when I tell...

SadMom4
$15
I'm really concerned of my DH reaction when I tell him I want F/L, neck,browlift and upper eyes done.
I'm 52. I have cystic acne scars on my cheeks chin, that I hope will be improved with the procedure along with getting rid of the lines and wrinkles. I look in the mirror and feel very depressed as the aging and volume loss has just increased how bad it looks. I also have one young child at home that I don't want to look so old and wrinkly as long as I can. I'm not trying to look like 30 just a bit younger and less lines and maybe less obvious acne scarring. I know PS said touch up with filler after for what it left. I did fraxel laser treatments $$ and it did nothing for my scarring. Now, I feel that these procedures will help me looking less angry, sad as I've been told by my children that I look often when I'm not - that's just how I look now (sad).
My concern is my DH reaction to telling him I want it done - especially to the tune of $15K when money can be tight with 2 kids still at home (one still in 2nd grade). I'm also a bit concerned of her reaction to my healing process. How did you share your desire to have it done despite $$? I do work full time, and will need to take off 2 weeks.

Replies (13)

December 6, 2013
I was very apprehensive about telling my husband that I wanted a FL. After I told him, he still didn't understand my desire/need for this surgery. I finally told him how sad and miserable I felt because of the jowling and sagging face. He went with me for the consult and, after finding out the cost, it took me a few months to convince him that this was something I needed to do for my self-esteem. I was very apprehensive prior to the surgery and kept thinking, "what if I end up looking terrible, will my husband blame me and be angry with me?" Thankfully all went well and my husband loves my face. I'm 54 and am so happy that I had this done. The recovery period wasn't bad - the thing that bothered me most was ear pain. Best of luck - keep us posted
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December 6, 2013

I'm glad you started your story here and reached out for support. Have you mentioned things in the past to him about how unhappy you are with how you're aging? Maybe a few well placed comments will soften the blow a bit so he doesn't feel all this is coming out of the blue? If you don't go that route, I would recommend a sit-down heart-to-heart with him where you lay it all out honestly. Definitely wait until the timing is right and he's in a relaxed mood! :) Please keep us posted.

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December 7, 2013
I understand where you coming from, when I was married there would have no way my ex would allow me to have cosmetic surgery, even if the money was not an issue, He was even angry when I lost weight, colored my hair and got into shape. He didn't want me to look good, but he liked ogling attractive young women!! My friends have been supportive/neutral but my mum is opposed to it. She is also opposed to anything for improving appearance and making a woman attractive to the opposite sex. Anyway, I am getting it done, I am not asking anyone to pay for it, nor am I harming anyone. Some people believe that PS is wrong and they are entitled to have their opinion just as I am entitled to have mine, after all, it's my body, or face rather.
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December 7, 2013
Good luck with it all!
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December 9, 2013
Sorry to hear that! My husband knows that I always like to take care of myself, trying different expensive creams that really don't help. So I started to mention him that my sister would like to have a FL, and every opportunity that I had I kept mention him that. After that I started to say that I really don't like the way I look. When you arrive home and ask me Are you sad? Or are you mad? It's not that, are my frown lines and my marionette lines that make look like that. We go through much stress too, we have a son with disability (CP) 15 years old. Anyways, I kept complaining about my looks for about a month, Finally one day He said : If I were you I will do it, I wouldn't be talking too much about it". Right away I started my research, I made an app. with the PS and ask him if he would go with me because I would like his opinion, He liked the doctor and now I'm scheduled for January 31st! . My husband will take 2 weeks off to take care of our son.BTW He said he will start to work overtime to pay for it, since I'm stay home mom. GOOD LUCK, and just find the right time to start to talk to him about it :)
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December 15, 2013
I too have tried many expensive department store creams that did absolutely NOTHING other than emptying my wallet. I am getting my surgery done in five days.
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December 15, 2013
Good luck!!!! and keep it posted, I would love to see your results
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December 15, 2013
Thanks :-) I am going to put some before and after pics.
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December 19, 2013
Good luck! !! Don't forget to keep us posted. I would love to see your pictures. Funny! Lately I can't sleep well, I think I am starting to get anxious:)