Nov. 9... One More Week!!! - Maryland

I have always been known for my chest. In elementary school I remember wearing an under wire bra for my size C breasts. As I got older, my chest made me stand out from my peers, and garnered the wrong type of attention. Many young men tried to date me or assumed I was overly sexual because of my breasts.

I have always been on the curvy side. In middle school my boobs popped out to a size D. I attended a very small charter school (90 students in grades 6, 7, and 8). Most of my peers were Caucasian and Asian. With the exception of a handful of girls, the majority of the young ladies in my school were very petite or athletically built. My body was very different from everyone else's, my size Ds did not help matters. I was teased incessantly for being fat. I was 5"2 132 pounds.

In high school, my physique was coveted. Young men in my school and adults would often approach me. I hated the attention and the assumption that I was fast. How do people judge you just by the size of your breast? I wore oversized everything. I wanted to hide in my clothes. I never wanted to participate in gym or any athletic activities. I was so self conscious about the bounce factor. I remember doing jumping jacking in class and my teacher yelled, "put those jugs away. We are in school." I was mortified and asked my mother to get me a doctor's exemption from gym.

During college I gained more than my fair share of the freshman 15, and I jumped to a size DD. Clothes would not fit me correctly. I started dating one of the more popular young men on campus. The rumors were that he like me because of my boobs. Right in front of me a young lady smirked and said, "is her brains in her [RS bleep]"? I had an immediate flashback to high school. I did not want to be anywhere that I felt like I would be on display. I avoided parties,large group outings, and even the cafeteria. My boyfriend and I spent most of our time off campus.

A few years later, I finally managed to lose 67 pounds. I was down to a size 8 and a droppy but happy size D bra. I was exercising 5 times per week. Although my the weight of my breast made it difficult to exercise, I was able to manage.

Everything changed when I had my son. My breast and weight have skyrocketed between being pregnant and deciding to be a stay at home mommy. I was on bedrest for 6 months of my pregnancy and during that time I gained wait. After having a difficult labor and an emergency c-section, I gained even more weight. I am not as active as I once was. I am now 217 pounds and a size DDD-E. I have tried to get active several times, but the sheer weight of my breast on my small frame has made it unbearable. I am having neck, shoulder, and back pains. I hate having this pressure on my chest all of the time. All my son want to do is run around and mommy can't keep up.

I have considered a breast reduction for many years. My breast have gotten so large that they are really interfering with my quality of life. I hate not being able to be active with my son. I hope to go down to a small D or large C cup. I know I'll have the pregnant look but I don't really care. I know this will change my life and allow me to lose the weight once and for all.

I have my fears. During my c-section I was not given enough anesthesia and could feel them cutting me. They had to give me emergency medication in my IV. I also worry about the possible complications, but I can't go on like this.

Dr. Wells has been really good. Last year, I went for a consultation and the doctor seemed to try to talk me out of it. He was listed as a BCBS provider but kept commenting that he really didn't like working with insurance. He kept complaining that insurance companies only wanted to pay a fraction of what he was paid normally. I think this was part of the reason he tried to talk me out of the procedure. He said he would call me once he got authorization. I called his office several times and the receptionist kept telling me that nothing came in for me. The strange thing is I never even got a denial or approval from my insurance company. I don't even believe that they filed a claim. The experience was daunting, and I forwent the surgery.

A year later I did some research and decided to try again. The difference between Dr. Wells and the other doctor was like day and night.
She was upbeat, positive, and informative. The only thing that left me a little uncertain is that we disagreed about my target post op size. She is a very petite woman. She is advocating for me to be a size D or even a DD. She keeps insisting that everything should be balanced and in proportion. Well, I am overweight, and I do not want breast in proportion to my current weight. I told her that I wanted to be a large C or small D. If she is thinking D or DD, then she is obviously thinking in larger terms. As the person lugging these things around, I reserve the right to want a lighter load. Hopefully we can come to a conclusion. I will change providers if needed. I have no problem with a smaller bust after losing weight. If I am going to go through this, I want a significant change.

My doctor was nice, but I don't think she is the one for me. She wants me to remain on the larger side after my reduction (DD). I have been a DD most of my life and was considering a reduction when I as that size. I asked her if there were any medical reasons for her insistence, and she did not provide any. I was told by her assistants that I just have to trust her.

It is also nerve-wracking that she is never available to answer my questions. I have to conduct everything through her assistants, and they are the intermediaries for our conversations. I can't proceed knowing that we do not agree on the goals and knowing that I will not see her again until the day of surgery.

Her work looks beautiful, but I need a better connection with my doctor. I am hoping my next consult is a success!