Starting to freak out. Only a few more days till...
Starting to freak out. Only a few more days till the 16th! I am nervous as I smoked up till the other day. I had cut back from my 1 pack to only 2 or 3 cigs a day till finally kicking it but I am still worried about all the complications that can occur. I don't need complications, I had enough of those with my leg like 1 step forward and 8 back. I just want it all to go smoothly.
Then last night I find out that so many people want to be there, I really just want my fiancee to be there not all these other people that have been so unsupportive and now want to be there... what to gawk??? I know my fiancee will want someone there with him but really does it have to be all of them? This is my day and should be about me and what I want. How do I make him hear me when he supports me 100% but still really doesnt get it cuz hes not a girl. Love him but damn...
Its almost Tuesday so only 2 days to go before...
Its almost Tuesday so only 2 days to go before Thursday.... Where did all my time go????
Excited little worried but I realized regardless I would be going under the knife for my leg so why not do such a beautiful thing for me. They keep subjecting me to unwanted surgery so why not hook me up in the process?! They also told me I should be getting some of my 5800 back cuz my insurance for myleg will cover the general anesthesia and my preop was to be included but I didnt have it done there I had it done by my primary doc cuz he over sees my coumadin n my ps wanted him involved with all this. So, I should be getting a nice amount back from my ps :) He is awesome cuz really he didnt have to do it that way...
Ok so I wish i knew how long they are keeping me in the hospital I know he was gonna be keeping me for one day for the TT but now that he is doing surgery on my leg at the same time he may need to keep me longer. Its stupid but I kinda hope he keeps me till Sunday just cuz I would know by then about a PE and also my fiancee will have to leave me alone several times during those first couple days and Sunday on he wouldnt have too. I just dont wanna have to pee and cant get there.
Im wondering how hard its gonna be to get off the toliet. I do have the higher seats for handicap. I bought this house from my mom after she passed in October and she had remodeled and put in the toliets and recliners and of course I already have a shower chair cuz I already cant stand there that long on one leg. So, I blessed all this stuff is in the house but still wonder how hard its gonna be.
Im trying to just think positively about it all and tell myself Ima bounce back but I also wanna be realistic because I dont wanna get depressed if it isnt as fast as I would like.
I just keep reminding myself atleast it shouldnt be as long as your leg (as far as the initial pain goes) The inital pain for my leg was 5 months.
Ok it is all gonna be okay. I can do this. Even more thankful to have all of you!!!
Extremely sick looking at my before pics... cant...
extremely sick looking at my before pics... cant wait to have after pics
Ok so I got a cold, its all in my sinuses just...
Ok so I got a cold, its all in my sinuses just stuffy and if I use Zicam I can breathe but Im afraid they will postpone me because of it, they will be calling me back tomarrow and I will see what they say cuz I called admissions today and they only have my TT on schedule not my leg, hey but Im so ready if they dont do my leg its alright by me I will still do the TT.
I just wish I coulda seen my fiancee this week some cuz next week yeah he will be here taking care of me but I cant really do anything with him i plan on hopefully sleeping the first week away except of course getting up to walk every 1-2 hours.
I hate valentines day every year it sucks its just for the companies to make more money cuz you really should be treated good everyday not just cuz the calendar says so and I am for the most part but becuz the calendar says so I wanna see my man... one more week and he should be moving home but we will see.
I am so anxious and scared wish I had a valium or something starting some panic attacks just sitting here thinking about it all.
K here i go surgery is in a lil over 2 hours. Im...
16 Feb 2012
Day of treatment
K here i go surgery is in a lil over 2 hours. Im so anxious.
So surgery was about 4hours. When i woke up in...
So surgery was about 4hours. When i woke up in recovery i laid there thinking its so light on my thighs theres no fat sitting on my legs. After a while i lifted up the blankets to see oh my.... my cooter in plain sight!!! I was so elated there was no comin down n my nurse got to listen to me non stop till they moved me to my room for the night. Pain so far not to bad, feels like i laughed to hard for to long...
Got to my room n my dear love was waiting for me. I lifted the blanket for him to see (we had another male friend wit so i had to b careful even tho i wanted to show the whole world) dear loves jaw kind dropped n he got real quiet, i kno hes happy for me but he loved me wit the hangy thing so much dat he kissed it goodbye without sillyness he was serious... he will get used to the new me tho. Sent him home cuz he had alot of driving to do yet b4 bed.
Tried so hard to sleep, just couldnt i guess my mind wouldnt stop. So, this am my stomach feels like it got the sh*t kicked outta it. I mean its not too bad just hurts when using it n by the way i use it alot cuz im on crutches...
I have not one not two but 3 drains. He wanted to be precautious cuz im on bloodthinners. Instead of lovenox they put me on fragmin its very similar. I am on oxycodone (no tylenol in it) 5mg - 10mg every 4 hours. Makes my ankle feel good speaking of they didnt do my ankle even tho my ps wants it cleaned out my ortho dr doesnt want him to open it up again so no ankle fix for me :(
I was able to sponge bathe change n put on my real bra ( i opted not to put on sports bra cuz of the iv so i could onlyuse my "real" bra. It feels better with one on for me so on its stayin for now.
Waiting for ps to come see me then i can go homw where i might sleep better hope i do anyways.
So for me this is so wonderful, of course it hurts but i expected that and my nurses say it might not b so bad to me cuz i went thru so much pain wit my ankle n have learned how to affectively cope wit pain. I also had very large amts to get rid of an to be rid of it is more to me than any pain rigght now..
Will add more later like how much it weighed. My ps asked if i had any special requests n i told him ibwanted it weighed so i woild know what came off of me... ill let you kno.
Ok so my computer broke n im doin this on my nook...
Ok so my computer broke n im doin this on my nook so it will b short n i cant post pic till its fixed.
So my ps said they took more than 10 lbs n dats just the hangy skin n stuff he didnt include the lipod part in the weight! My incision is only hip to hip he thought he would have to go way back but didnt. Then proceeds to tell me he really didnt have to stitch my muscles up he actually stood there debwting if he should cuz the were really tight on they own, well he decided to cuz he didnt want me mad. Fyi i would not b mad so long as i look good.
Oh well, so im on3dpo on my biggest complaint is the gas pains n muscle spasms real low like i got my rag. Otherwise my man & i are working on accepting my neew figure its beautiful he fell in love wit me when i was fat. It will all work out tho. Love u ladies!
Still have a bit of muscle pain if i do too much...
Still have a bit of muscle pain if i do too much but so loving looking down... i look into the mirror everytime im in the bathroom.
It was amazing even with the tubes hanging i put on underwear n tanktop and felt sexy for the first time in my entire life ;)
Little silly things keep showing me this was the best thing i could ever do for me. My fiancee was gently rubbing up n down my side/back n he knew sumthin was up n all i could do explain was even having been together for 4 yrs i was always concious of my rool n hoped he wouldnt touch it i guess i never realized it until he was doin this the other day cuz as he was touching me all i could do was enjoy it there was no worry there n it felt so good.
He stated to me last night that he is so proud of me even tho he was so scared when i went it hes so proud of me for fighting our fears n doing this for me. Everyday he makes me so proud n makes me feel so good. He always has its just different now.
Im just so excited. Yes i still have days that i say why did i do this to me (when im sore) but then i go right back to just a while longer n it will feel better.
So sat my third drain fell out went an say ps on...
So sat my third drain fell out went an say ps on call on sunday he took out the stitch n dressed it. Now wit no where for the fluid to go a spot in front opened up n is oozing fluid it is still that pinkish color but has a slight smell to it. Talked to ps nurse made appt for tomarrow they might need to put a new drain in for me i am having to use a pad to soak it up cuz i go thru packs of 4x4 in a half hour. Hoping for the best tomarrow.
So i have two small holes that opened up becuz the...
So i have two small holes that opened up becuz the drain fell out. Saw my ps again few days ago n they say it will only take aabout 4weeks for them to heal n i dont have to pack em. They r huge to me but compared to some ive seen they r small id say one is the size of a qaurter the other a dime. Not to bad. Could b worse. I still have a small fat roll when im sitting but standing im pretty flat. Im ok withthis as they can onlydo so much n now the fat i have is against muscle n will b able to rid myself of this. I love my tt n docs say it will still get flatter just gotta wait till about 3 mos postop.
I have read many posts that sayvwhat a person can n cant do n my ps goes on listen to ur body if it dont feel right dont do it otherwise it fine. I am 3 weeks postop n i can walk a treadmill, sleep on my side or stomach anything. Ive been side sleeping for over a week now with a little support from a pillow.
Ive been over doing it a bit the last few days n i see it in swelling. But, overall loving looking down n not seeing all that flub!
All is going well for me and I am loving the new...
11 Apr 2012
2 months post
All is going well for me and I am loving the new me. I am down from an 18/20 to a 14/16 in pants but still varies depending on brand. I already bought a swimsuit for summer but I always need more than one for how much time I spend poolside (I take my kids almost everyday).
My holes did fill in in about 3-4 weeks and they were not bothersome didn't hurt or anything just looked gross. I have a small open sore on left side where my binder kept getting stuck to me and pulled off scab, out of binder and now is healing nicely. Everything is flattening out nicely and I have been ok'd to exercise but it is awful hard without my left leg. Ankle still horrible and still can't put but about 50 lbs of weight on it which is a problem when you weigh 200. I see him in a few days and we will see what is next step in all that.
Fiancee is loving my new confidence and is seeing it in the clothes Im buying and wearing out. He is enjoying showing me off which is real fun and he can't help but to wanna chase me like we are newly in love. He always has little inappropriate comments that need to be said so he whispers them in my ear and I blush and all our friends are sitting wondering what the hell was just said to me. :) His jealousy shows through when we are out and now I have as many men come at me as he has women come at him, its about time he gets to see how it feels!!!
I am loving this whole experience and hope all other tt'rs are enjoying themselves too! Have a great day.
NOTE TO ALL: THESE AFTER PICS ARE WITHOUT ANY...
11 Apr 2012
2 months post
NOTE TO ALL: THESE AFTER PICS ARE WITHOUT ANY LIPO BEING DONE SO DONT BE SCARED IF DOC SAYS HE WONT BE DOING LIPO!!! ESPECIALLY LARGE WOMEN THEY CANT REALLY DO LIPO ON TOP BECAUSE IT DEGRADES THE SKIN AND IT WONT STAY PUT TOGETHER IF THEY DO SO DONT FRET IF THEY SAY THEY WONT BE DOING LIPO!
I LOOK AWESOME WITHOUT IT.
I finally was able to use my bow flex tread...
17 May 2012
3 months post
I finally was able to use my bow flex tread climber. After not using my leg for a year it took me 30 min to walk 3/4 mile but, damn it I did it. I used to walk 2 miles in that time so at 1/2 mile I was crying and my leg hurt but I am so proud I did it. Now to keep up and try to do it every day. My new leg brace is taking its time as insurance are being dinks they let me go to appt n have the cast done for them to make it but now they acting funny about paying for the AFO brace. Its $1300 and thats gonna be a stretch for me to pay actually it won't be bad if my leg money would come from insurance company but it is not coming fast enuf. Anyways, just wanted to check in and let everyone know alls well here working on looking even better and I look back at my before pictures and am blown away at what a few thousand dollars can do for ones emotional state, confidence, ego, health, and general outlook on life. Wish others had the opportunity to do this for themselves. I know I deserved it but others I know do too and if only they could afford it would benefit them just as greatly. Loving this new me entirely....
I just posted some earlier after photos so all...
18 May 2012
3 months post
I just posted some earlier after photos so all would know that if you look huge after the surgery don't fret.... I looked like a pumpkin and look awesome now... I had a lot of swelling and it lasted for a long time but now I am almost flat!!! The "ledge" is going away slowly but in about a month it should be completely gone. :) I am thinking of a bikini just for at home not for the actual pool but can't seem to find one that fits my boobs! I am a 38 DDD now. Good Luck to me. If anyone has any ideas I sure would love to know. Thanks.
It's almost a year later.... all is well. I had an...
14 Jan 2013
11 months post
It's almost a year later.... all is well. I had an bone infection relapse n they took 1 1/2 inches of bone out. They pm aced cement in there n in Feb. They will remove it n fuse my ankle together at that time. I will have to get a shoe lift for a while but hopefully by June I will b able to walk.... only 2 yrs n 2 mos after the accident. Can't wait 2 be done with wheelchairs n crutches...
As far as Tt goes it looks good. I have gained a bunch of weight but it's all gone 2 my butt n thighs so I'm good with that n very thankful it didn't go to my stomach area like it used 2. Once I'm up n walking I know I will get rid of it quickly. Need 2 quit drinking soda I'll tell u what n make sure I eat 3 times a day instead of once it has such a difference on my metabolism.
Hope all is good with everyone else...