POSTED UNDER Facelift REVIEWS
64th Birthday Coming Up - I'm Looking Tired and Droopy - Ugh! Los Angeles, CA
ORIGINAL POST
I've been thinking about having a face lift for...
Marcia SueSeptember 24, 2015
I've been thinking about having a face lift for two years now. I have never had plastic surgery or any kind of treatment for wrinkles, etc. So, this is ALL new to me. I've been looking at all of the courageous women (and men) who have written their stories and most all of them are so encouraging and look SO NICE after their surgeries. This motivated me to start even though I'm scared and nervous about what others will say. I hope to find a doctor who will not try to make me look plastic and too stretched as I work with a LOT of people and I don't want to be too obvious. I'd just like to look less tired, get rid of the neck and eye droop. I'm really active in the workaday world (CEO of a medical device company) and I travel and do a lot of marketing/video conferencing. I'd like to look better... I'm just starting the journey...would love some comments about whether this is worth it and just to hear what others have dealt with during the decision process, surgery and afterwards. Thanks!
Replies (20)
September 24, 2015
I wish I had found this place earlier but only discovered RS two days before my surgery. My advice would be to concentrate on the reviews made by people close to your age to get a more accurate idea of what you might experience. The "ask a doctor" section is great, too.
Good luck on your journey!
Good luck on your journey!
November 5, 2015
This is truly an amazing website. I'm so glad I found it at this point. Everyone is truly supportive and provides you with so much information. I love reading about everyone's journey as that's what it truly is.
September 24, 2015
I think you look great - vibrant, youthful and alive but I do understand what you are saying and feeling.
November 5, 2015
Thanks so much. I'm moving forward now (just scheduled three consults). It's a real journey, isn't it?
M
M
November 5, 2015
Yes, fo me, it's a literal journey as well. I'm having my first and hopefully only consult tomorrow in San Miguel, Mexico. Surgery next week, if it's a go. I guess I should get posting. So far, I'm just exploring SanMiguel and enjoying the lovely casita that I've rented for a month. My landlady just returned yesterday from a FL in Brazil so I'm hoping that she will be my coach.
November 5, 2015
I wish you only the best on that consult and surgery. Will you have some post-op help?
November 5, 2015
2 days post surgery in the hospital and then back to the casita for a week of forced meditation and smoothies. I'm sure that I can arrange for extra help through the co-ordinator or my landlady if I need it. I'm hoping not - I'm pathologically independent.
November 5, 2015
I love that "pathologically independent" - I'm like that most of the time. But just beware that even the pathologically independent may need some assistance! Good you've got a back up plan. Best of luck....M
September 25, 2015
Hi Marcia,
I'm just a few days short of 4 weeks (surgery 8/28/15).
1. I agree 100 % with Willowcrest, review as many individuals as you can find who are at your age and have similar "issues" you are looking to correct.
2. Then take the time and review the doctors in your area or wherever it is you will be having surgery.
3. Take the time and spend the money on the consultation fees - you want to feel comfortable and confident in the office staff, and the doc of course, but these consults also give you lots of info, you can tell how educated the staff is ( if they all say the same or similar things then the doctor and nurse are keeping them educated and that's a good thing),
** put together a small album of photos over the years when you looked and felt your best, throw in a few from your 20's, and show them to the docs, put the docs who really look at and study them at the top of your list and the docs who just briefly look thru your photos go to the bottom of your list**
4. Think long and hard about being totally open and upfront with people close to you about your plans, and I don't just mean friends and family - include those people you work so closely with, this continues to give me lots of anxiety because I kept it secret from everyone except for 4 people- ( this is another story in itself )
Keeping this a secret is basically LYING, and you will miss out on the much needed support during the healing and recovery phase of this journey-
5. PLAN PLAN PLAN - every doc said I would be presentable / work ready in 2 -3 weeks and then would continue to heal for anywhere from 6 months to 1 year. NO NO NO NO
I think ( not an expert ) that the recovery time directly related to the procedure(s) you have done, I had major work and Fat Grafting- for me personally, I wish I had 8 weeks to be presentable / work ready. The fat grafting/ transfer adds lots more time to being presentable/work ready because of the bruising and swelling, the different skin texture, and the way it affects your skin tone.
I hope this helps a little just to get you started, because this is the easy part, the hard part comes when you wake up after surgery.
Anything I can do to help, any questions please PM me, I'm happy to be there for you.
Karla
I'm just a few days short of 4 weeks (surgery 8/28/15).
1. I agree 100 % with Willowcrest, review as many individuals as you can find who are at your age and have similar "issues" you are looking to correct.
2. Then take the time and review the doctors in your area or wherever it is you will be having surgery.
3. Take the time and spend the money on the consultation fees - you want to feel comfortable and confident in the office staff, and the doc of course, but these consults also give you lots of info, you can tell how educated the staff is ( if they all say the same or similar things then the doctor and nurse are keeping them educated and that's a good thing),
** put together a small album of photos over the years when you looked and felt your best, throw in a few from your 20's, and show them to the docs, put the docs who really look at and study them at the top of your list and the docs who just briefly look thru your photos go to the bottom of your list**
4. Think long and hard about being totally open and upfront with people close to you about your plans, and I don't just mean friends and family - include those people you work so closely with, this continues to give me lots of anxiety because I kept it secret from everyone except for 4 people- ( this is another story in itself )
Keeping this a secret is basically LYING, and you will miss out on the much needed support during the healing and recovery phase of this journey-
5. PLAN PLAN PLAN - every doc said I would be presentable / work ready in 2 -3 weeks and then would continue to heal for anywhere from 6 months to 1 year. NO NO NO NO
I think ( not an expert ) that the recovery time directly related to the procedure(s) you have done, I had major work and Fat Grafting- for me personally, I wish I had 8 weeks to be presentable / work ready. The fat grafting/ transfer adds lots more time to being presentable/work ready because of the bruising and swelling, the different skin texture, and the way it affects your skin tone.
I hope this helps a little just to get you started, because this is the easy part, the hard part comes when you wake up after surgery.
Anything I can do to help, any questions please PM me, I'm happy to be there for you.
Karla
November 5, 2015
Hi Karla,
I appreciate your advise SO MUCH. I'm following it. I was wondering how you discussed your surgery with family/friends? What sort of reactions did they have? I've read so many reviews from ladies who don't share this information with others and I'm not sure what I want to do.
I agree 100% with your comment about the hardest part is the post op period. Until then you are not faced with reality. You have anxiety, fear, hope and a feeling of a serious impending 'adventure' but from what I've seen of those initial post op pictures I wonder why I'm even THINKING of doing this. Then I see the six week post op and I think, what an amazing looks and an incredibly courageous person!
Again, so many thanks to you!
I appreciate your advise SO MUCH. I'm following it. I was wondering how you discussed your surgery with family/friends? What sort of reactions did they have? I've read so many reviews from ladies who don't share this information with others and I'm not sure what I want to do.
I agree 100% with your comment about the hardest part is the post op period. Until then you are not faced with reality. You have anxiety, fear, hope and a feeling of a serious impending 'adventure' but from what I've seen of those initial post op pictures I wonder why I'm even THINKING of doing this. Then I see the six week post op and I think, what an amazing looks and an incredibly courageous person!
Again, so many thanks to you!
September 25, 2015
You look great for 64. Your skin is lovely and you have really beautiful cheekbones and jawline: I think you would have amazing results if you had a bit of a lift.
I've written about a gazillion posts about my experience, so I'm not going to repeat myself here. The other ladies have given you great advice.
My advice is to do a bunch of research, know what you want to achieve, then find someone who gives you confidence that a) they *listen* and understand what you want and b) are *properly* board qualified plastic surgeons who have the skills to do it.
As a note, any GP can set up shop as a cosmetic surgeon without having trained in plastic surgery. I ended up doing a spreadsheet to separate out the 'not qualified' acronyms from the 'qualified' because it's hellishly confusing (e.g. here in Australia, 'ASPS' after the name is an actual plastic surgeon, but 'ASAPS' is not... :/).
I'm just short of a month out (lower face/neck lift, endoscopic brow lift, lower blepharoplasty), and have a lot of settling to do yet, so I'm hesitant to jump in and say 'worth it' just yet. But my review has photos so you can see for yourself :).
I've written about a gazillion posts about my experience, so I'm not going to repeat myself here. The other ladies have given you great advice.
My advice is to do a bunch of research, know what you want to achieve, then find someone who gives you confidence that a) they *listen* and understand what you want and b) are *properly* board qualified plastic surgeons who have the skills to do it.
As a note, any GP can set up shop as a cosmetic surgeon without having trained in plastic surgery. I ended up doing a spreadsheet to separate out the 'not qualified' acronyms from the 'qualified' because it's hellishly confusing (e.g. here in Australia, 'ASPS' after the name is an actual plastic surgeon, but 'ASAPS' is not... :/).
I'm just short of a month out (lower face/neck lift, endoscopic brow lift, lower blepharoplasty), and have a lot of settling to do yet, so I'm hesitant to jump in and say 'worth it' just yet. But my review has photos so you can see for yourself :).
November 5, 2015
Thank you for your response! I have followed your advice in selecting three initial doctors to interview. My three consults are set up for December.
I went to your review - you look FANTASTIC. Do you feel it was worth it now?
I went to your review - you look FANTASTIC. Do you feel it was worth it now?
November 5, 2015
Exciting! I hope your consultations go well.
Thanks so much for the compliment :). I'm delighted with my results right now, but I'm also very aware that there is some 'settling' still to come over the next few months, so I'm reluctant to 'call it' just yet if you know what I mean.
Quite a few people who are unhappy with their results started off happy and then issues came to light as everything settled. Touching wood that my final result doesn't change too much from where I am now :).
Thanks so much for the compliment :). I'm delighted with my results right now, but I'm also very aware that there is some 'settling' still to come over the next few months, so I'm reluctant to 'call it' just yet if you know what I mean.
Quite a few people who are unhappy with their results started off happy and then issues came to light as everything settled. Touching wood that my final result doesn't change too much from where I am now :).
UPDATED FROM Marcia Sue
64th Birthday Coming Up - I'm Looking Tired and Droopy - Ugh! Los Angel
Marcia SueNovember 5, 2015
Just a quick update - thank you to the ladies who have answered my first posting!
I've now scheduled consultations with three doctors (local in LA area). I've done a lot of online research and read countless reviews. I'm a person who usually makes rather quick decisions (in business) but this is a big decision that can impact your feelings about yourself (positive and negative) so I'm going to try and slow down and evaluate which doctor/office I feel is both the most qualified to perform surgery on my face (oh my god!) but also has that extra something special to make me feel comfortable with my decision.
I've read SO MANY reviews on REAL SELF and it's very helpful (thanks to everyone who has posted). I do notice that so many of us ladies hide the fact that we are having a face lift. Why do we do that? Is it because we think it is vain, are we afraid in case it goes wrong, do we feel embarrassed or concerned that others will look on this as being selfish? I'm going through all of this now and I can say that I both feel I should be upfront about it and I also feel that I want to keep it all to myself. I've told my husband and he's supportive - but I think he will just die when he sees the aftermath of the surgery that first week. It's pretty courageous what we are willing to go through, isn't it?
Any help out there???? What sort of feelings have you had early in the process? Would love to hear.
M
I've now scheduled consultations with three doctors (local in LA area). I've done a lot of online research and read countless reviews. I'm a person who usually makes rather quick decisions (in business) but this is a big decision that can impact your feelings about yourself (positive and negative) so I'm going to try and slow down and evaluate which doctor/office I feel is both the most qualified to perform surgery on my face (oh my god!) but also has that extra something special to make me feel comfortable with my decision.
I've read SO MANY reviews on REAL SELF and it's very helpful (thanks to everyone who has posted). I do notice that so many of us ladies hide the fact that we are having a face lift. Why do we do that? Is it because we think it is vain, are we afraid in case it goes wrong, do we feel embarrassed or concerned that others will look on this as being selfish? I'm going through all of this now and I can say that I both feel I should be upfront about it and I also feel that I want to keep it all to myself. I've told my husband and he's supportive - but I think he will just die when he sees the aftermath of the surgery that first week. It's pretty courageous what we are willing to go through, isn't it?
Any help out there???? What sort of feelings have you had early in the process? Would love to hear.
M
Replies (7)
November 5, 2015
After thinking about it for several years I took the plunge and 3 weeks ago I had a neck, lower face and brow lift, I'm 54. The delay was finding a Dr. that I trusted, I didn't personally know anyone who admits to having had surgery and I didn't want to select one purely on ratings. (A few years ago I went to a highly rated surgeon for fillers and botox and he messed up my face, it took a year before I looked back to normal). Earlier this year a guy I know had a face lift and it looked great so I went to his surgeon and while I was having my first consultation I saw a woman who had him do her neck lift, she looked great to so I went with him. I had general anesthetic due to the brow lift, if it had just been face and neck I would only had needed a local, the surgery took 4.5hrs. I am still swollen and bruised but most of my discomfort and bruising was due to the brow lift, I had hardly any bruising on my lower face or neck. The sides of my face and neck are swollen but the neck swelling looks good because it takes away all the wrinkles! I have not regretted it for a minute, the Dr. appears to have done exactly what I asked for, but I'm too swollen at the moment to know how much of an improvement there will be. I went through various emotions prior to the surgery, in the weeks leading up to it I nearly cancelled multiple times. My adult daughter, my mother and my fiancé didn't want me to do it mainly because of the general anesthetic, and I didn't tell any friends so I had no support. I was terrified on the morning of surgery but as soon as the Dr. came in to talk with me I was OK and next thing I knew it was all over. My Fiancé was supportive and I spent my first night in a medical facility because I didn't want to burden him with looking after me, he visited me there, I did look revolting, I was throwing up was very bruised and had a drain in for two days. I think he still loves me though! I am happy to give you more details if it would help. Good luck!!
November 6, 2015
Thank you so much for your posting. Yes, please tell me more details. While in the process of making this decision I'm a sump for input. I'm pretty much convinced to go forwar and I think it will be a done deal after my consults if I find the right doctor. So, the next phase I foresee is the anxiety, fear and who should I tell stage. Anything more you want to share would be great. M
November 5, 2015
The 'telling or not' thing was a really big deal for me. Took up a lot of headspace.
In the end I told one male friend who lives overseas beforehand so I had some support, and I told my best friend (an ex) after the fact because I knew he would notice and be all looking at me weirdly and I preferred to just have it out on the table vs waiting for him to say something.
My reason for 'not telling' is because people can be really judgemental about 'surgery for vanity', which is odd when they are not at all judgemental about 'exercise for vanity', but I digress.
My decision was primarily because judgemental reactions would be disguised as 'concern about your health' or would convey pity in an 'oh, it's so sad that she feels so bad about herself' way or be a denial 'you don't need it, whyyyy?' all of which are obscenely patronising and not at all supportive. The reactions are not only patronising, but profoundly negative, and I really didn't want that in my space while I was going through the process.
The one friend who I told beforehand tried really hard, but he didn't 'get it', so he was of the 'but you don't NEED it, you look great!' school of thought and genuinely thought he was being supportive. People who love you will pretty much always go this way and think they are being nice/helpful/sweet when in fact what they are doing is questioning your judgement, and it's actually quite horrible to be in a position to *convince* someone that you don't look good as a way to get them to understand. Still, he WAS wonderfully supportive *despite* not 'getting it', and as someone who has shared the entire process with me, when he saw the 'after' shots a month post-op he finally 'got it': 'holy hell, that really DID make a big difference. I didn't expect that! You look amazing!' which is gratifying, but I couldn't really convince him beforehand.
I'm not telling anyone else. If anyone notices that I look different (I really don't expect them to, people are hellishly unobservant), they will mostly be too polite to say anything which is great. The only other person who I think will notice AND who will say something will be my sister. I won't see her until December and if she does say something I will tell her the truth because it feels unfair to let her believe that I somehow got the best out of our gene pool.
In the end I told one male friend who lives overseas beforehand so I had some support, and I told my best friend (an ex) after the fact because I knew he would notice and be all looking at me weirdly and I preferred to just have it out on the table vs waiting for him to say something.
My reason for 'not telling' is because people can be really judgemental about 'surgery for vanity', which is odd when they are not at all judgemental about 'exercise for vanity', but I digress.
My decision was primarily because judgemental reactions would be disguised as 'concern about your health' or would convey pity in an 'oh, it's so sad that she feels so bad about herself' way or be a denial 'you don't need it, whyyyy?' all of which are obscenely patronising and not at all supportive. The reactions are not only patronising, but profoundly negative, and I really didn't want that in my space while I was going through the process.
The one friend who I told beforehand tried really hard, but he didn't 'get it', so he was of the 'but you don't NEED it, you look great!' school of thought and genuinely thought he was being supportive. People who love you will pretty much always go this way and think they are being nice/helpful/sweet when in fact what they are doing is questioning your judgement, and it's actually quite horrible to be in a position to *convince* someone that you don't look good as a way to get them to understand. Still, he WAS wonderfully supportive *despite* not 'getting it', and as someone who has shared the entire process with me, when he saw the 'after' shots a month post-op he finally 'got it': 'holy hell, that really DID make a big difference. I didn't expect that! You look amazing!' which is gratifying, but I couldn't really convince him beforehand.
I'm not telling anyone else. If anyone notices that I look different (I really don't expect them to, people are hellishly unobservant), they will mostly be too polite to say anything which is great. The only other person who I think will notice AND who will say something will be my sister. I won't see her until December and if she does say something I will tell her the truth because it feels unfair to let her believe that I somehow got the best out of our gene pool.
November 6, 2015
You are amazing! You have summarized all the reasons and feelings for keeping this to yourself prior to surgery. I am going through exactly this thought process. I've actually received two responses on RS that were of the "you don't need it" variety. It's such a difficult decision and what I've noticed about reading profile stories is the amazing courage of the women who have this done. After all, who would commit to a surgery that makes you battered and bruised if you didn't really believe it would improve your feelings about yourself? Thank you so much for your insight. I hope to get to the other side of the rainbow successfully as you have done. I'm thinking seriously of keeping this to myself or sharing with only a very few highly trustworthy and supportive people like my husband and son based on your posting. It's kind of a shame and a disappointment that we need to hide this major event in our lives isn't it? M
November 6, 2015
You're so welcome, I'm glad it helped some.
It's a reason that this site and the honest reviews on it are so helpful. Out there in marketing land, we get fabulous 'before and afters' and that's it. As if it's that simple (not just physically, but mentally AND emotionally).
I'm two months out with a really good result and I *still* have to expend a certain amount of energy to managing my expectations and concerns (hair loss!, pixie ears!, neck dropping!, eye bulge! etc). And this for really very minor things in the face of a great result. It's quite astounding.
"It's kind of a shame and a disappointment that we need to hide this major event in our lives isn't it?"
It is a big disappointment. And because of those attitudes, there is shame attached to going ahead with it. Don't even get me started on the social pressure for women to conform to beauty standards (slim, young, beautiful!) and how that is coupled with the vilification women get if they try to do just that (vain, petty, superficial!). It makes me livid!
All that to say: Do what feels right for you. Make sure you have the support you need from people you trust. Tell other people only if it's going to stress you out if you don't. Everyone else can see how fabulous you look and wonder: most will be much too polite to say anything and it's none of their business anyway.
It's a reason that this site and the honest reviews on it are so helpful. Out there in marketing land, we get fabulous 'before and afters' and that's it. As if it's that simple (not just physically, but mentally AND emotionally).
I'm two months out with a really good result and I *still* have to expend a certain amount of energy to managing my expectations and concerns (hair loss!, pixie ears!, neck dropping!, eye bulge! etc). And this for really very minor things in the face of a great result. It's quite astounding.
"It's kind of a shame and a disappointment that we need to hide this major event in our lives isn't it?"
It is a big disappointment. And because of those attitudes, there is shame attached to going ahead with it. Don't even get me started on the social pressure for women to conform to beauty standards (slim, young, beautiful!) and how that is coupled with the vilification women get if they try to do just that (vain, petty, superficial!). It makes me livid!
All that to say: Do what feels right for you. Make sure you have the support you need from people you trust. Tell other people only if it's going to stress you out if you don't. Everyone else can see how fabulous you look and wonder: most will be much too polite to say anything and it's none of their business anyway.
November 11, 2015
I had a lower facelift and upper blethoplasty 17 days ago. I was very private about the proceedure,didn't want input or judgement. It was my decision and of course it was all about vanity. I went to lunch with friends yesterday and fessed up to the eyes and then blurted out okay there was more! They were facinated and overjoyed....what a relief. We tend to overthink what others might say. Most people are focused on themselves and don't notice changes in others. I move out of State a few years ago and am making a trip to my roots in So.Cal in a few weeks
November 12, 2015
I am 72 and had a full face lift in January 2015. It was the best decision I have ever made. It was originally scheduled in 2013 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to cancel the surgery. As soon as I was one year out from the cancer surgery, I rescheduled the face lift. Go for it but do your homework and get a great surgeon. You will not be sorry.
UPDATED FROM Marcia Sue
The Most Excellent and Caring Doctor in Existence
Marcia SueFebruary 26, 2016
I had my surgery. It went so well. I was very surprised about the following:
1) There is no pain
2) After the first three days you feel almost 90% - still tired but really OK
3) Walking every 3-4 hours is a MUST starting post op day 1
4) It takes awhile to adjust to your new face (about a month or so)
5) The right doctor can make or break your post op period - I had the best doctor EVER
6) It's really important to follow the treatment plan post op
7) It was great to have a nice big jacuzzi tub - so calming for me
8) There is a huge psychological impact to this surgery. Although I could see results quite soon, it was so difficult to see the bruising and the swelling. But time heals....
1) There is no pain
2) After the first three days you feel almost 90% - still tired but really OK
3) Walking every 3-4 hours is a MUST starting post op day 1
4) It takes awhile to adjust to your new face (about a month or so)
5) The right doctor can make or break your post op period - I had the best doctor EVER
6) It's really important to follow the treatment plan post op
7) It was great to have a nice big jacuzzi tub - so calming for me
8) There is a huge psychological impact to this surgery. Although I could see results quite soon, it was so difficult to see the bruising and the swelling. But time heals....
Replies (3)
March 1, 2016
You look great. Almost ready to make the decision. Want to hear more about your experience. Thanks for sharing..
March 1, 2016
You look awesome. Thanks for sharing. I am 60 and thinking about some facial surgery. How long did you have take off from work?
Thank you for paying it forward and starting your story! Here's a list of questions to ask at your consultations and Here's a list of pre- and post-op tips for you. Please keep us updated on this journey.