Like many women getting breasts implants, I waited...
Like many women getting breasts implants, I waited all my teenage and young adult life for my breasts to grow. When my son was born 7 years ago I fell into postpartum depression because my breats didn't produce more than a couple of drops of milk. Even the lactation consultant though I was crazy when I told her so, that she scheduled a session where she had me top less in a room with my baby latched on one boob and a pump on the other to see how much milk the pump would get out of me, it was one of the most humiliating and tormentous moments in my life! I believed there was something wrong with me! Through my reseach I discovered that there was, and it was called tuberous breast deformity. I was distraught!!! I felt like I wasn't a real woman. I felt like an inadequate mother (hardcore anti-formula nazies made me feel worst).
I eventually recovered from my broken doen mental state and began focusing into correcting my deformity, however I had to place those plans on hold due to you know' life.
When me second baby was born, I knew much better and I allowed no one to bother me. I revisited the idea of BA once more, but the husband wasn't supportive.
Now in 2016 the husband is on board, our finances are in line (thank you God!) but my current weight is an issue.
I haven't consulted with a PS yet, I'm still lurking on this site reading reviews and doing my research. So far I have one PS in mind but I haven't gatthered up the guts to call and make an appointment with anybody. I would like to loose a littlr weight, but it is very difficult with my current job/busy lifestyle to make room for working out. I've always been heavy but this is ridiculous! But yet...I dream..one day!
With Dr. Esmailiam. I'm very nervous. I'm afraid that he will say no or that my expectations are impossible. I'm afraid I will forget to ask a question or that he will rush through my session. I'm afraid of showing my bare breasts to someone. I don't know what to expect.
Correcting tuberous breast with breast implants and donut lift. 5"2 180lbs.
Booked my surgey with Dr. Esmailian last week. Paid my deposit and got my labs order ready. By next month I will have bewws! I'm so excited and nervous! So far Dr. E's staff has been great especially his coordinator Sam, she is worth her weight in gold! She has answered each ane every question within minutes even on the weekend! Just awesome. I will post more when I go to the pre op with is scheduled for the 24th.
Pre op was Jun 24
I'm pain in full, got my meds and labs but I got a high white blood count. Booo!! I'll have to retest on Jun 3rd, I hope it clears up. I suffer from allergies and have been under tons of stress (work, home, contemplating a career change). So my surgery date is still set for June 13th at 10:30am. I chose 550cc and he recommended the high profile since I want a lot of boobage. Dr. E did not promise the 550 though, but he said he will try if my body can accommodate the implant (wish me luck!).
I have a pretty wide chest, a comfortable bra band for me is a 38 although I normally wear a 36. I was concerned with high profile not giving me what I was looking for (lots of fullness, without a gap in the middle and a little side boob) but Sam the coordinator reminded me I was getting a benilli lift and that those lifts flatten the breast. I will trust his intuition. He seems to be a man proud of what the does so hopefully he exercises his ocd on me during the surgery. Oh yeah did not mention, he will obviously be going through the nipple and place the implant under the muscle using the Keller funnel technique (grateful for that).
I attached a few wish pics :)
My labs didn't come back with optimal results, and so my PC didn't recommend surgery until more test were done. I'm referred to specialists but don't have an appointment yet. Unfortunately I don't have a good expectation on when I'll get a clear answer of what is making my labs keep coming back with a higher white blood count. My body has been feeling some in the mornings, and I tire easily. I have to look at it as a blessing in disguise though, what if I would have had complications?
Sam the coordinator has been very supportive and understanding. So far she has told me not to worry and that I can take as much time as I need to re-schedule and to not worry about the money I've spent. I hope later I don't have to pay more. I keep reminding myself that Sam said not to worry but I am the kind who worries :(.
In any case, I've been so excited but now I don't know how to feel. I need to look after my health and reschedule when I feel better. But now I have to think about my work schedule and figure something out with my bosses.
If anybody is reading, wish me luck!
I've been rescheduled
Due to my labs being abnormal I was referred to hematology. Will be getting results on Thursday but Dr. thinks I needed iron.
Back on, but having second thoughts and weight problems
After my appointment with my Hematologist I began taking iron supplements every day. I had to re-do my labs again because my PS requires labs to be done within 3 weeks of surgery, I have and they came back good. I'm scheduled for July 27th, 2016 at 7:30 am and I cannot be more excited.
At times I feel that what I am about to do is not necessary, I ask myself sometimes if I really want them, but then I remember that i already paid in full and I've wanted this for so long.
Now the issue is and I dunno if it's mostly stress related or not, but I've gained a few pounds lately. Besides being in a lot of stress lately, my metabolism has been so slow and the iron supplements have slowed it down even more. In addition to the stress, excitement and anxiety having my clothes fit tighter around the waist is making be feel even worse. In addition there have been a few times when I've mentioned to people that I am getting a surgery done and they have replied with an either oh you don't need it, I was once bigger than you, you can loose the weight naturally...but I'm not getting that kind of surgery. After that I regret telling but then again everybody will be able to tell once I get them done, so....
The last time that happened to me was at GNC yesterday when I went to buy some arnica tablets, the very helpful cashier asked what they were for and if that is all I needed it for. I told him that I was getting surgery and that they were mostly to help my healing, then he recommended a product that is for people who are getting weight loss surgery - some sort of drink. He apologize when I told him it's not that kind of surgery, but I still felt bad that he also assumed that a woman that looks like me would be getting weight loss surgery.
Sometimes I wonder if that is what I should get getting instead of boobies. But to be honest I've never been interested in loosing weight surgically. It sucks to be so flat chested despite being so chubby. Most full figured women have huge boobies and they are gorgeous!! But a fat woman like me looks so child-like with little boobies, its depressing! Loosing weight has proven to be so difficult, I've already cut out a lot of bad stuff, and I'm not a snacker, I know I don't exercise as much as i should and coupled with my slow metabolism I've been stuck at 180 for 3 years. Sigh....and so I decided on getting my implants done now because I thought: if I'm going to be fat, might as well have big knockers!
I may get a tummy tuck once I know for sure that I won't be having more children.
Another thought that has crossed my mind is what my limp body will look like on the surgery table, and how the Dr. is going to react; I've always hated my body I wish I can get over this fear. I am afraid to be treated less than because I don't have a svelte physique like most women getting breast implants. I haven't talked to Sam about this concern. I'm sure that she will say wonderful things to comfort me, I mean after all I've already given them $8500.
Wish me luck. I hope I can loose a little bit of weigh this week to come.
Made it through! Got the 550cc HP round smooth Mentors.
27 Jul 2016
Day of treatment
Surgery was scheduled at 7:30 am but they asked for me to arrive 1hr before. I checked in around 6:10 am and filled out my paperwork. I waited close to half an hour until I was called in to head back. There the nurse asked me to put on a gown, hair net and foot covers. I was able to keep my undies on. A cup was given to me to fill with a sample to check for pregnancy.
Afterwards they moved me to a waiting area where they put an IV on me and cintinued with the admitting paperwork and post op care instructions.
Dr. Esmailian showed up arround 8:30 according to my husband who was in the waiting room, but I didn't feel like I waited so long. The nurses tried their best to calm me down, they were all very nice.
Dr. Esmailian came to meet me, confirmed what we had agreed on during pre-op and answered my questions. He moved on to do the markings and after he was done the anesthesiologist came to greet me as well. He also explained what he would be doing for me and answered my questions.
Quickly after that, I used the restroom one last time and walked into the or. They but some squezzy things on my legas, covere me with a warm blanket. Stuck some monitors on my shoulders, put a mask on and I was out.
I woke up in the recovery room feeling pain and discomfort. The nurse took care of my pain and nausea. My husband was called into the room where she gave him instructions for my care and then left to wait in the car for me. A few minutes later once my pain and discomfort was undet control the nurse helped dress me and wheeled me downstairs where my husband was waiting.
The ride was ok, but around 30 min into it I began to feel pain in my sternum. Got home, ate some crackers and drank watet, waited like 20 min and took my pain pills. Soon after I was napping.
Let me tell you that you cannot do this on your own! Somebody has GOT to be with you ! Without the use on my arms I am rendered useless! I am so glad my husband is a big and strong guy! He had to help me sit up from the bed lifting me up from my back and has helped me find a comfortable position several times today. He is also keeping track of my meds and other needs.
I was in pain until just recently, and I think its the muscle relaxer working its magic.
Hmm not much of an appetite, chest is tight and the implants are real high up. I think I noticed the swelling coming in but it stopped getting worse so that's great. Some itchy sensations over sternum, very mild though but it could be allergies since I stopped taking Allegra almost 3 months ago in preparation for this.
I took some pictures for my befores yesterday and even though I absolutely hate them i figured I should pay it forward and share.
I am a heavier than most of you ladies so please be kind.
Last night wasn't as rough as I expected it to be. My husband has been so wonderful, taking care of the kids and I. I woke up in the middle of the night to take my meds and use the restroom. I don't know what happened but while I was up at night I began to have cold sweats and ringing in my ears with a little nausea. I tried to breathe deeply and exhale slowly in a an attempt to relax. It passed after a few minutes but I was a little worried that I may have passed out.
There is no change on how the look. My right is the most swollen one and its where I feel the most discomfort. It's bearable though.
I changed into some comfy clothes after using tons of baby wipes (no shower until tomorrow, Dr.s orders). We are headed out for breakfast I hope I don't get another sweaty episode.
I have a follow up today at 2pm. I am wondering how it went since I didn't see him afterwards. I'll post something later on that.
I'm finding this blog so useful! I thought I would use this review as more of a diary, since I tend to forget details. I hope it can be useful for others.
1st day continued
Dr. E said that everything looks good, he instruted me to start some massages on Saturday (day 4) at least 10x a day.
I finally say my incisions, they aren't so bad, my skin is super stretched out though. I have no idea what size bra I am and will be and frankly I am not fixated on size per say, I just wanted a certain fullness.
I think I over did it today, I was up, out and about all morning but I paid for it in the afternoon. I also tried to see if I could stop taking some of the pain meds...umm nope! I had to hang those big girl panties and give in to the pampering. Something that I am not used too. Oh also I tried to wear a sports bra that was way to tight, that didn't help! The burning around my nipples and in between them was pretty intense. I also got a cramp on my right pec..hmmm weird feeling.
I didn't want to look at them right away, I'm trying not to obsess but I did end up taking a closet look. My skin needs to stretch in sone places, i also had some stretch marks from before that are more noticeable now. They are HUGE! No bobie greed here! I'm actually hoping that after the swelling comes down that they will be slightly smaller. In wearing a genie bra that is 2xl and they fit perfect right now.
I took some pics, you can see where my skin is so stretched out the shape of my breast is a little weird. But I'm not alarmed since it's only the first day.
Well yesterday was the first time I showered, it felt amazing!
In the evening I stoped the Norco and took Xtra strength Tylenol instead (2x500ml) and I did ok.
I slept so well! I still get up in the middle of the night to take my pain meds but im able to go back to sleep. I'm so grateful that we have an adjustable bed frame. Even my husband is sleeping so well, and I'm not a back sleeper.
It seems that Norco suppresses my digestive system, i I don't get hungry and I don't go #2. Since I stopped it yesterday evening, my digestion seems to have come back. I'm already a very irregular person and suffer from constipation a lot that I was worried about it getting worse. Thank God it didn't.
I have been feeling a little burning sensations now and then around the incisions, Sam said it was normal. It feels good when I put an ice pack over my chest.
The last 4 days I've been in bed most of the time, thanks to my husband and mom the kids are being looked after.
I started the massages today, weird feeling! A little pain/burning sensation on my pecs and sternum but still bearable. After doing them about 3 times today the implants are already softening up.
I gotta say, it feels amazing having lowerpole fullness! I'm over the moon excited. I think my husband is too, even though he said he loved the old boobies too.
I am so excited. I want to say that so far it's worth it, but I want to wait to see how the incisions heal snd how they drop and fluff.
More dropping and softening
Left breast seems to be healing faster than right, I'm right handed so I don't know if that has anything to do with it.
I also noticed that the pocket for my left is slightly lower than the right, I hope that they even out.
My right pectoral muscle also seen to be more stiff on top. And now I wake up with what you guys call morning boob; it feels like you have rocks in your chest and your muscles and squeezing them really hard.
Right now What's driving me crazy is that one is dropping faster than the other. Did any of you experience this? Did they ever out atthe end.
Also, i don't think I have mentioned it before but im numb too, both of my nips and some areas under them are numb to a certain extend. Will that come back too?
They look the same as before; the skin is stretching under the niples do it looks weird, the stretchmarks are still very visible, the bruising is still there too. I still haven't formed a fold under the boob (i hope I do)
I need to be more patient, maybe I'm massaging righty too rough because I want it to catch up with lefty (I'm afraid that the pocket will not drop to be even with my left. Today I had some discharge that came out through the invision. It started yellow followed with some blood and now is back to yellow. Also righty swelled up a little.
Dr. E looked at the incision to rule out any possible concerns with the wound, but he still prescribed more antibiotics to make sure that I don't get an infection.
I took a quick peek at the incision without the tape and I was surprised that it didn't look gruesome, it looked nice.
I forget that it has only been a week! I'm still healing! Dropping and fluffing will come later.
Also, I'm restless! I am having trouble falling asleep. For starters, I'm a stomach sleeper, sleeping on my back is killing me! The weather doesn't help, and we don't have central heat and air (I know righ, talk about priorities) so my back is hot! But if i take off the covers I'm cold! I go under hot again. I keep getting the need to stretch my legs and arms and am constantly fighting the urge to flip on my side.
I'm staying up a little longer to take my muscle relaxers, maybe they can help me relax tonight.
I hope to regain sensitivity..feeling numb makes me sad.
Frustrated with my right.
I just don't know what I did wrong? Was I too rough with my massages? Did I not take it easy enough? I'm sad and disappointed that my healing is going like this.
My left breast is dropping more and the incision looks great but my right is still high and now it looks like an inch higher since my left keeps dropping.
My incision is now half white and I have like a hard bump under my skin on the bottom, right under the incision. My skin is darker on that area too. I just don't know what to expect.
In the last 4 days its only gotten bigger, the white solid pus-like tissue was only about an inch long, now it's closer to 2inches long. Is it going to get worse before it gets better?
What did I do wrong?
Dr. E instructed me to put neosporin and gauze over it, change it twice a day. He says not to worry but I can't help it, I am disappointed of my own body, I hate it even more.
I'm going back to see Dr E on my 3 week mark. I hope there is some improvement.
Improvement and greed
Last I updated I was having some issues with the healing on my right areola. Dr.E was concerned that I may be a pre-diabetic and not know. He asked if I have had a lab test done by my PCP. The name of the test escapes me, but it's a rest that is supposed to check indicate pre diabetes. I looked through my test results and found it. My PCP was not concerned with my result when they were taken. But Dr.E would like me to be careful with my sugar intake.
To be honest I had reverted back to putting sugar in my morning coffee after I had stopped the habit some months back. Since that day I cut my sugat intake and will continue to be mindfull of what I put in my mouth!
It was almonst magic! On my 3 week app, Dr. E took a look at my incision (it really hadn't canged much in the week before) he put some gauze back on, instructed me to continue doing what I was doing and to watch my diet. The curious thing that happened the next morning is that while taking my morning shower I check my incision and it finally looked like it decided to close. Dr. E and his healung touch* - I thought lol. So after finally seeing progress I started feeling better.
It's looking better every day.
My left is still dropping faster and so it looks like its bigger than the right. My right seems to be suspended up there. The hard feeling under my skin is still there. Dr. E said that will too be going away.
Speaking of size, I feel small! I look down and feel like I have the same fullness that I had before. Sure I have roundness now but I think I may have ended up with a C cup maybe (I used a tape measure). Hmmmm
On another note, I can't wait to sleep on my side! Sam told me I could on 4 weeks PO, so I have 3 nights to go.
My husband hopes they feel soft soon. He is missing me old pittiful boobies. I don't know what he is thinking! But I also hope that they get squishy when all is said and done.
My right areola incision is finally closing all the way up. I only have what looks like a round scab.
I also noticed something that made me fell good. My nips finally respond to temperature. They had been in a state of shock I guess, they didn't change despite the temperature. But yesterday I noticed they were looking kinda puffy ( I don't mind the puffiness). Yay!! So now they can get hard and relax.
Unfortunately though, and I knew this was going to happen because I have bad skin genes, I got new stretchmarks around my new breasts. :(
My left is still the better twin, dropping faster etc. I still have some hard areas under the skin around the nipple that need to hear.
I have an appointment with Dr. E on Sep 13.
Stretch marks seem to be getting worse, but I didn't get these puppies to show them off to the world so I'm not too worried. The scars around my right areola is looking kinda rough since I had problems healing but again I'm just glad it's healed. I still have some hard knobby tissue under the incision on the underside of each breast. I can only feel it if I massage, it doesn't bother me too much.
They are soo so soft, my husband finally "warmed" up to them and helps with the massage duties wink*wink*. I can finally sleep on my chest, not all the way on my stomach but with pillows I can get comfortable.
I haven't bought any underwire bras yet. My PS said I could buy one with soft pads but nothing with a pushup. I haven't had time to go to the mall to visit a VS. I've tried on a few bras at Target; a 36DD fits snug on the cups but I can't find a 36DDD. A 38DD fits loose on the band but the cup feels good. The sizes were a shock to me. I don't think I look like a DD. I wish I had my boobs closer together sometimes but I guess a push up bra can make that happen. I have gotten used to wearing soft bras, something I didn't do before because of the weird shape of my breasts and I'm not ready to stop! Lol I tell the hubby I'm not ready for hooks and wires and pokey thingies in my armpit. Lol
I'll try to post some pics, getting time alone is hard with kids.
Year update -long overdue
My surgery was obout 13 months ago, and up until now I can say that I would do it again in without a question.
So far my aftercare hasn't been the most strict. If I had that kind of self control I would be 50lbs lighter. Lol.
Sometimes I feel the slight pinch here and there, feeling did not come back 100% but I've gotten used to it. My nipples were never an highly sensitive part of me so I'm not bothered tok much with that.
The size of my nips turned out on the larger side, but I'm not hung up on that. I think I would have liked my nops nips to have been a little more puffy but that's just my preference.
My scars are gnarly but I blame that on my genes since I'm prone to stretch marks.
My new chest is not perfect, by far! But it's 1000x better than before. Our intimacy has improved tremendously! I still don't like the way I look when im laying down since I feel like my breasts split to the sides too much but I guess gravity has to do what it does right?
My white blood count is still on the higher side, my doctors check it regularly but so far no real concern has arise from it.
Here are a few overdue update pics. I hope my story helps a tiny bit. Since being a heavy set woman and getting fake bobies is so strange (normally thin and gorgeous women go for it) I hope I can give an example of what could happen.