Explant pictures 3 months post op

I'm feeling very depressed and need the implants out, I have had bad thoughts and dont want to feel this way anymore. I feel like I'm going crazy, I'm 2 wks post op and I can't sleep at night bcoz of the pain, I don't think I can trust my original ps to explant them as he is more known for BA. I don't have enough money to explant eith so I'm hoping I can get a loan or just a ps that can sympathize.

I got my implants on Aug 24 thinking I would look better in clothes and finally be able to throw away my padded bras, my bf was very against it but my mom was supportive since shes into plastic surgery, the day of my surgery I was scheduled for lipo and implants I became hesitant about the implants and asked for a new quote but the receptionist told me to just do the implants so I won't have to pay for anesthesia again if I decided to get implants, well I listened to her and honestly I shouldve gone with my initial instinct and that was that I was ok with having no boobs, I think we all have red flags but we don't pay attention to them...well the ps started marking me and everything felt rushed I specifically told him I wanted to look natural I didn't want to b more than a C and as for lipo I only wanted my back and arms and wow when I got out of surgery I felt like I was dying, I fell so much in pain for 4 days finally when I was able to see myself since my mom was showering me I saw incisions that didn't make sense, well a wk ago I finally saw my ps and he admitted that he was trying to contour my waist to make me more beautiful I cried for so long and asked him why if I was fine the way I was and he replied with "oh you were ok with being fat well I can add more fat in you that's a fast procedure its easy" wow this ps has some nerve all the nurses came in and said omg u look so beautiful now, look at u you have a tiny waist look how u were before compared to now, nobody understands that thats not the point, I feel violated, I don't feel like myself I'm in this body that I don't recognize anymore all I asked was for my back and arms not an entire contouring of my body, I also honestly think he added fat on my hips because they look fuller but he denies this, I compare pictures from now and before n I don't look the same, I'm so devastated that this happened to me, I ask why me, why me, I have already had bad thoughts and I attempted suicide at 20 and I honestly dont want to go back to that dark place again its so difficult to get out of that state of mind...right now I feel disfigured and im not sure I even got a good lipo job as I have much rippling but through all the threads I've read on here they said its normal and itll subside in 6mths so I have hope for that, as to the implants I don't feel like myself now I have huge boobs with a tiny waist and huge hips I look like a cartoon character, this was not the look I wanted, ever! Now I want these implants out but everyone is telling me not to make an impulsive decision and to really think things through, I will see a therapist about this so I can just prove to them that this is the right decision, I feel like I did make the biggest mistake of my life with these implants, what was I thinking my bf loved me the way I was, I don't know why I thought implants would make me look beautiful on the contrary I feel ugly and I can't even stand straight bcoz I'm already ashamed of them, I don't want anyone seeing me with them, I quit work and I'm an emotional wreck, I'm already stressing over bills since I have to recover for 3-6mths and I want these implants out now, I don't want to wait 3mths bcoz that will set me back awhole lot and I have no idea how I will get by if I can't work. My PS can do the explant for free I will only pay for anesthesia but would you trust him? After going through all of this I'm not sure if I can trust him and him having the audacity to call me fat and not say sorry and admit it was his fault is not good at all, he even told his nurse to give me inflammation pills so I can see the real results sooner and to. See what a good job he did, well he said to take 2 pills for 7 days they were in a lil baggie with no real instructions and the first 2 pills I took 2 days ago I felt like I was on a drug, I had cat eyes, pupils dilated, I kept clenching my jaw, my room was spinning and distorted I don't know if this ps is trying to kill me bcoz he knows what he did, I never asked for him to lipo the areas he did, this ps is in mexico and I live in ca, you can tell me what you think, I am now looking at ps that specialize in explanting since I need someone that can put me at ease that I can nurse since my incisions are on my areola and now if they do a 2nd incision again I feel like I will have complications nursing if I ever have children...i dint know why I ever thought of implants in the first place, my bf loved the way I was already, why did I think I can be better, honestly plastic surgery is not for depressive people, I'm so devastated by all of this but thankfully I have my bf that cheers me up and he always tells me that I need to remain positive, if I think I will end up deformed that I will end up deformed that the mind is a powerful thing, which I agree, but the implants I need to take them out asap!!! I just don't know with who and how. If anyone is in the los angeles area please guide me, thank you.

As soon as I walked in, I was greeted by her staff and there was no wait time. I immediately met with Dr. Chong and had almost a 2hr long consultation. Shes a very sweet lady, she answered every question I had and I never felt rushed. I did let her know that I wanted to explant as soon as possible and she was positive that I will look similar as to pre ba. She also wants me to make the right decision and wants me to consult with other ps, this is a real Dr. that cares about her patients and is not in it for the money. She wants everyone to be mentally prepared. I did voice out that I have a therapist and that my therapist advised me to explant since I felt strongly about it. Dr. Chong wants me to come back in 2wks since im only 5 wks post op to make sure I'm 100%. I can book for Oct 17, 22, 24 I think I'm going with Oct 17. My bday is coming up and I at least won't be stuck at home resting, I can't wait til this nightmare is over.

As for the lipo, she did say it looked like I have irregularities, that I might have internal skin burns, but all the sensations that I'm feeling are normal, at first I was devastated because of the parts he had touched and contoured, and all I did was cry, then I started noticing discoloration and thats what Dr.Chong is talking about the burns. I thought wow im never going to be able to wear a bathing suit or cute backless shirts, then I started feeling pain and ripping of the skin, stiffness, and burning. I can't make certain movements and definately would not be able to touch my toes. So it has been a roller coaster of emotions, first, I hated my body, then it was about my skin, then its about my health so what we need to learn here is do you want to look good, or feel good. I think I shouldve thought about this when I stepped in the ps office I shouldve just accepted my body the way it was, no boobies, fat arms and back, this way he would've never had the chance to touch me in places he shouldn't have, this has become a nightmare.

All I want is to be able to move and stretch like I use to, I became a very athletic person in March and lost 40lbs thats y I opted for lipo on arms and back bcoz they were my problem areas. The minute I found out this supposed ps contoured my body, I felt that he took that away from me, he took away what I worked so hard for. He lipoed my flanks he contoured my waist making me very small at the waist and I come from big hips, this is not my body. Everyone is telling me to just accept it, nothing can be done, and its true, but I am devastated at the other consequences I am dealing with, burns, excessive removal of fat, discoloration, no movement, stiffness, numbness. I'm tired of this nightmare, I just want to disappear.