19 Years Old and Extremely Self Conscious. Long Island, NY

From the time I was 12 or 13 I was so insecure about how I looked down there. At one point I even told my mom that I was turning into a boy because I thought I was growing testicles (poor kid). I showed my mom pictures similar to what I looked like and she told me that's normal for people to look like that and that I wasn't a boy lol. So as I got older kids were becoming more sexually active and I was petrified of anyone ever seeing me. Whether it was a girl in a locker room or a boy I was so so so scared of anyone ever seeing me. Also to add in that there were social media posts relating girls labia to chewed up gum or roast beef and there would be captions saying "when you find out a girl looks like this" and there were all these negative comments about how guys don't want someone who looks like that and how large labia are disgusting and for years this all played into my insecurities.
Just before my 19th birthday I had been dating an amazing boy for only a month but I decided I wanted to have sex for the first time. I was scared out of my mind but when he saw how I looked he didn't question or comment until afterwards. He didn't believe I was a virgin because it's something in the social media that's thought to happen to girls who have a lot of sex (as ridiculous as it sounds) and I told him how utterly embarrassed and difficult it was for me to do that but he told me that it didn't change his outlook towards me at all and that it didn't matter. For months after I still wouldn't do certain positions because of my insecurities. Around January I made the date for April 21st to be the day finally after several years id have the surgery:). In no way did my boyfriend ever try persuading me in one way or another he was extremely supportive through everything but anyways. I was under local anesthetic and didn't feel a thing other than a few tugs or pinches here and there.

Swelling isn't too bad neither is the pain I was on heavy pain meds thankfully that pretty much put me to sleep. Drinking at least 2 quarts of water a day taking antibiotics and using bacitracin where the stitches were so the skin wouldn't break

Swelling has definitely gone up. I had a dinner that I was forced to go to that day so I pretty much took as many pain meds as possible and hoped for the best.. Everything was pretty much fine until around the 3rd hour of sitting and I felt like I needed to go home