26 y.o, 5.4', 125lbs/57kg with deflated B, hoping for a natural C and lower pole fullness - 255cc Mod+ Anatomical. Dual Plane

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The day of surgery...

I'm writing this on Thurday 21 May two days post op - but really want to do a daily update as I go through recovery.

Waking up the morning of surgery (5am for a 7am arrival), I felt strangely calm and very, very tired. Hardly had any sleep the night before and wrote my very first post on here, in the 'May 2015' forum which also gives a little background on me. Here it is:

"in London UK, and due to go for my surgery at 7am today, 19 May 15...it is now 01.21am and the nerves have come on slightly. I'm 26, 5.4', 57 kg's and currently a deflated 32/34b. I also have a short nipple to crease (so tired that I have forgotten the real name...tight lower pole or something like that) I'm getting mentor Mod+ under the muscle, as wanted to give up padded bras for good, feel more confident but still be able to do sports and remain 'modest' (or whatever the hell that means) in my corpy, male dominated job. I'll be a day case, as I live 5 minutes walk from the hospital, so currently trying to tidy the flat. I've taken some 'before' pictures in the bra the surgeon told me to buy - a 32 C and a 34 C high impact sports bra and hopefully I'll post them up when I work out how and have an 'after' to compare it to. Also picked up two multipacks in M&S last week - 34C and 34D Just incase. Another think (eek!) is that I'm a smoker...and a smoker that hasn't been able to stop. I usually smoke around 8 a day but have actually smoked more over the past 4 days because of the nerves. If anyone else is having their surgery this week, I would absolutely love to find a buddy to write to, or will just continue to post here. This forum is great and has helped me so much as I worked through the decision and got the confidence to go ahead with this...so thank you ladies! I don't feel alone (and having kept the op secret from most I've been pretty damn anxious). in an ideal world, I will have the surgery, sleep for the whole PM/eve, and en spend the next few days having a game of thrones marathon. Usually I am so busy - I travel with work and am also doing a MSc part time...that I'm almost looking forward to the week off...doubt I'll be saying that this time tomorrow though!!!! Anyway, great to read all your stories and good luck to all of you. Please do keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow - I'm a bit of a runt and tend to get infections a lot, so am worried it won't be as smooth sailing as others I have read about. Goodnight! Elle x"

I was surprised and touched to receive a number of responses before the morning - one occasion where I was pleased about the time difference given that most of you ladies are US based. Thanks ladies - was so happy to hear from you.

As a day case, I decided on a pair of jeans, converse, a loose vest top and a shrug, as well as huge sunglasses and a very big scarf...the hospital is on the next road from my flat and my GP (i.e. Family DR) practice is also based in the same hospital, so the plan was always to walk there and back whilst remaining inconspicuous en route (hence the shades) :)

I arrived and I had forgotten my credit card to pay the hospital fees, which of course meant the reception staff (who knew my face anyway) were wondering what I was doing flapping around in the lobby going through all my stuff...so I actually had a false start and had to mooch back home to get the bloody thing...

Take 2:
Arrived at the hospital, settled the jospital fees and was directed up to my ward. Bumped in to my surgeon at the lift in full scrubs and a very jazzy pair of zebra skin clogs, which immediately put me at ease. He told me the lifts were ancient and we walked upstairs together before he delivered me to the ward and told me he'd be back shortly.

Was taken to my room and the anaesthetist promptly arrived to introduce himself. Shook my hand, perched on the bed and told me to 'talk to him' about past experiences with general, fears, concerns, family med history etc. Explained my fear of needles and my need to be in control of the process and let them know when I was ready for each batch of the good stuff. He said no problem, explained that I would be under general, some local, some paracetamol, an antibiotic....then off he went.

Surgeon arrived and perched on my bed for some drawing. Was quite concerned at lack of care with his scribbles (felt like he should be measuring me before drawing down the line in the middle of my breasts, should have been more detailed as he swept along my crease with the pen etc.) but he seemed to be quite happy with it.
I asked if it was too late to show him some pictures, and he said no. I had a collection of screenshots on my iPhone from the night before of breasts like mine, where there was lower pole constriction (I.e. Short distance between nipple and breast) and the implant ended up looking a bit off, a bit too high up and generally beautiful in a bra but a bit strange without. This was my worst fear, as he had been clear throughout the consultation process that my breast crease was defined and that he did not want to risk 'double bubble' by manipulating it too much. I always felt that my crease was high and looking at myself naked, felt it should be lower to be in proportion with the rest of me.

You'll see from the pics but I am petite, but also mixed raced, Latin, European and Caribbean too. I have thick thigh's and strong legs and a round bum. So I'm 57 kilos and depending on the time of year can be anything from a size 6 to a larger size 8.

Anyway, so he drew on me. And off he went. I dashed into the bathroom and took pictures which I'll attach to this post.

I should mention here that I had 255cc mentor mod+ unders and that these were SHORT HEIGHT. I stressed during the consultations that I was only really looking for lower pole fullness, as you will see from my before pics that my upper chest is natural and I was happy with it. A good push up bra had always allowed me to achieve a pretty cleavage somehow, even though my breasts were so small!

Going under anasthetic was one of my biggest concerns given I have had bad experiences in the past. But the anaesthetist and his lovely nurse made me feel so at ease further to my chat with him on the ward. She chatted with me as he prepared everything and was the loveliest nurse I have ever met. He showed me the needle and each of the bottles. Explained what they were and the sensation/discomfort level I would feel as each went in to my arm. Held the needle and each of the bottles until I said "ok. GO!" ...so I was so chilled out by the time I started to drift off that I smiled and said to them "ok, thank you, BYEEE!!!"
Next thing I know I am waking up on the ward. And oh boy, was I high as a kite!
The first thing I did was ask if anything had gone wrong, giggled uncontrollably when I was told it hadn't, then told anybody who would listen how amazing the anaesthetists nurse was and please could they thank her from me. Shortly after that she actually came to see how I went and congratulate me on my 'new boobs'.
The surgeon also came in and I was so high that I whooped when I saw him and stuck my hand out of the bed to give him a high-5.
He explained to me that surgery had gone well, and he felt he had given me the 'lower pole fullness' I had wanted. He had decided to lowere my infra mammary fold during surgery in the end.
I lay in bed in the hospital room and did not feel nauseous, just very chilled out and so grateful to the staff and wanting to speak to close friends and family. Messaged some very emotional "hello I love you so so so much" messages to my friends and then food came. Wolfed down a huge sandwich, a fruit salad, some extra melon, a pot of earl grey tea and a cracker or two (which tbh is the last thing they should give us when we wake up with a dry mouth - the melon was perfect so if you have an option for some fruit then I would really recommend it. So easy to eat, full of moisture for a dry mouth and bland enough not to make those prone to nausea feel ill.

The nurses said they would come and help me with the bra and getting dressed, but 10minutes after finishing my food and some more tea, I just felt amazing. The drugs had worn off and I got out of bed, washed my face, brushed teeth, had a quick look at my new breasts, then did a full face of makeup and dressed myself, down to fastening the sports bra at the back and lacing up my pumps!

Messaged my flatmate telling her I was ready and She arrived 20minutes later. The nurses were really shocked at how well I was and stressed that I shouldn't overdo it even if I continued to feel that good.
I left the hospital and I felt as though I should make the most of feeling so good, so Sarah my flatmate and I walked to the (our) local high street where she bought a hot chocolate and we sat in a coffee shop for 15mins. Then I felt tired and we walked home, arriving around 3.30pm.

I lay in bed and iced - I had bought tesco value frozen peas so just stuck a bag on my chest wrapped in a thin towel. I spoke to my mum on the phone (I had only mentioned the surgery to her a few days prior and because I felt it was unfair to go under general and not mention it to her). She was really supportive and so happy for me.
In all honesty, I have never felt as beautiful in all of my life as I did on Tuesday afternoon. Which is the strangest thing, really.

Sadly the day didn't end on the best note - things broke down with the guy I have been seeing and our relationship ended. Was really disappointed and felt very let down by his lack of support. Lots to be thankful for and couldn't have asked for a more positive hospital/surgery experience.

I'll attach all of my pics :)
Elle X

Day 1 and two post surgery

I think I have been doing particularly well in terms of my recover and am really grateful for this.
I have kept on top of the pain meds (I have been prescribed 'co-drydamol' and an antibiotic as I am prone to infection post trauma or surgery).
The day of surgery I was able to tidy my flat and even Hoover, but I must admit as the drugs have worn off I do feel more fatigued and have been spending time lying on my bed on the computer, and generally resting.
I walked to the post office yesterday to collect a parcel and then spent the afternoon lying on my bed. By the evening I was bored and wanted to get outside in to the sunshine, so went for a quiet dinner with my friend at a restaurant 10minutes walk from the flat. It was really nice and I enjoyed being out so much, we were out from 7 until just before 10pm and by the time I got home at 10 I felt ready to slow down a bit, so mooches about the flat and then went to sleep (upright at about 45 degrees) at 12.30am.
Today I woke up at 9 and think I experienced 'morning boob'. Everything does feel quite tight, like I am wearing a very tight corset on and have been forced to eat a gigantic meal, or have a dead weight lying on me.

Having had more time to check out 'the girls', I am concerned about the lower pole, as anatomical textured implants are not supposed to 'drop are they?' - I have very madonna like cone boobs currently, where there is lack of roundness at the bottom and it is an outward slant to the nipple as opposed to a curve. I can imagine if this drops it will be beautiful and understand that my breast needs to readjust to the new crease, but I am worried anyway. One thing I do like is the distance between the bottom of the breast and the nipple, as this is new for me, but I just hope when they settle it will be ok.

When I went for dinner with my friend (the loveliest gay guy and one of the only people I told I was having the procedure) he said "woweeeeee - you can definitely notice a difference, these are way WAY bigger than they were on Sunday!!!!" And was very excited about it which made me feel positive, though I have to admit that if the difference is that noticeable God knows what I am going to do/say when I get back to the office. Will my suits fit? Will people know? I had to pull out of a fitness challenge I was representing the company in because of the surgery, but I just said I was getting an operation and didn't give any more detail.
Anyway, I don't feel like I am in the right headspace to try work clothes on right now and frankly, I needed a timeout from work anyway after a really busy few months that haven't been great, so don't want to worry about that right now. I go back next Thursday.

One other thing is that late last night I noticed the most disgusting bruise on one breast and some spotting on the other. I will post a pic and hopefully someone will be able to tell me if I should be worried??? I have sent a pic to my surgeon's PA in the hope he can confirm too.

I was a bit down yesterday, but I think that was more to do with the guy than with the breasts, I felt low and disheartened and started to worry more about the implants as a result of being in that negative space I think. It was so great to get out for dinner and I thik the slow relaxed walk did me good.

Also to add, and apologies that there is literally no structure to this post, but I have showered. I showered the day of surgery but just kept my sports bra on, put the shower head at the lowest point and just stuck each limb in and then washed my stomach etc with the shower head. I felt a bit gross from the surgery and if your shower will give you the flexibility to do that and you are mobile enough, then personally I don't see why not.

Day 3 - Very swollen & bruised

So far I haven't been using any supplements and not icing regularly either. I am super swollen at the sides and the 32 bra I was wearing after surgery no longer fits properly and is digging in. I've decided that can't go on and am off to buy bromelain and arnica today.

Have to admin that I'm a little worried about my bruising, as I don't tend to bruise like that at all and the right side of my body does appear somewhat more swollen than the left in line with the breast that this is underneat - worried I'll have to go back in to surgery.

Today I feel a bit blown up generally, the scales are telling me so also, I basically feel like a potato. I have noticed a few stretch marks appearing on my breasts too - so have rubbed in organic coconut oil and am hoping for the best.

Day 6 & so scared :(

The bleeding has not changed and the other implant has fallen...what appears to be too far down and also inwards. There is a double bubble appearing also which I noticed in the fitting room of the shop I visited earlier. I was so surprised that I came home immediately because since this morning something hasn't felt right. I emailed over the weekend saying I could not wait until Thursday to see or speak with my surgeon re the bleeding but the other breast was not acting up either at this point. I am so frightened and am 99% sure I have an infection and that I will need to have the bleeding drained. I got the PS assistants out of office when I emailed, she is back tomorrow and he is on holiday until Thursday.

I got home from the shops and just had to take the adhesive band off, because I wanted to see if there was bruising under the skin around the edge of the implant and how even/uneven they were. It's hard to tell with my complelexion you see as bruising often appears yellow, greenish or even brown when under my skin - it is green where my IV was.

No out of hours number was provided and I feel very upset and alone. I'm worried that my left implant has rotated and bottomed out and that my right is infected. Financially/time wise with my busy job resolving is going to be such a huge challenge for me and really not what I had hoped for or expected. Maybe I am panicking in the absence of my PS to advise here. When I look at that photo (post shower, bio oil because of all the weird changes and arms behind my back to show the current implant positioning) it makes me want to burst in to tears.

Please keep your fingers crossed for me ladies, I'm petrified.

End of day 7 - Feeling reassured and much less emotional

Hi all,

Thanks for your kind messages yesterday when I was freaking out big time.

I was woken up at 7am by my phone ringing and it was my surgeon. I heard his voice and Al,out burst in to tears (so emotional what is going on I!)
Further to my day 6 post, he told me to come in immediately to see him, that all had looked good at the end of surgery and it was best he took a proper look at me if not only to alleviate my concerns.

Made my way to the hospital and he got me a coffee and talked through the surgery a bit. He explained that my prodecure had involved manipulation of my IMF, and that the asymmetry I started out with in both breast and ribcage meant that my breasts had different treatment during surgery, which could be why one had bruising and the other (which had dropped) was fine.
He explained that the fibres at my IMF (crease) had been broken to allow the implant and crease to drop to a lower position, and as my crease had been slightly more pronounced on the right hand side than the left (where my ribcage also protrudes slightly - didn't know this until my initial consultation as its invisible to the eye) that more work had been done on the tissues here.
He said that the left implant was dropping and that there can be liquid and strange swelling coming and going throughout the healing process and that he believed the implant was still in position (I.e. Had not rotated and was still behind the muscle at the top) or 'dropped'. I must've gotten used to the high swollen look!!!
Once the swelling had gone down on both sides true implant positioning would be much clearer and would make the assessment then. He said his main concern for me was that the implants both dropped correctly in to the new fold and that due to substantially more bruising on the right side, that this may take some time to catch up progress wise.

He removed the plasters to check the incisions on both and see the bruise on my right breast properly. I was so so relieved to see that once the plaster was removed that what looked like a huge pool of blood gathering was smatterings of bruises and some clear skin by the incision - I genuinely believed he would remove this and the whole area would be covered.
He said he wished he could wrap me in cotton wool, that I should not be doing any more 'strange experiments' (i.e. Strange pose from yday' pic) and basically to chill and trust my body.

I walked to Hampstead, got lunch (scrambled eggs and smoked salmon) and worked in a cafe afterwards, then came home around 3pm and slept for 5 hours!!! Had no idea I was so tired. I had a friend visiting Sun/Mon, went out Sunday night and went to an MSc study session on Mon too as worried I would drop behind, especially given how crazy work will be when I return this Thursday.
I've probably pushed myself a little hard upon realising I wouldnt be bedridden with the pain - my first post re a Game of Thrones marathon in bed hasn't even come close to happening!

In conclusion, I think that is probably the real issue here - I know I have been doing too much and don't trust my body after frequent viral infections, horrendous tonsillitis in adulthood and fluctuating weight all of my life.
A huge cold sore has appeared today And I get them when stressed or run down, so I guess is likely due to the antibiotics and an intense day of anxiety/paranoia yesterday.
I'm eating my pineapple, popping my arnica pills as required, scoffing protein like my life depends on it, glugging coconut water (which I am now slightly addicted to - not good given the sugar content) & trying to rest.
SO...I just need to keep doing it, stop freaking myself out, trying to push myself to recover overnight and start trusting my body and being logical about it.

Quite the emotional spill but want to document everything as I know I can't be the only one, and also want to look back on this in 6 months and see how far I've come.

Night ladies and thanks for reading :)
Elle x

Day 9 - Back to Work, P.O. Follow Up & Progress on Bruising

hello ladies
Today was my first day back at work and boy was it nice to have a distraction from my frankenboobs.

Amazingly, I have been militant with the arnica and as of Tuesday after getting the all clear from my PS, my horrible bruising instantly started to disappear!!!

One thing that isn't great is my appetite - boy do I want to eat...and all of those naughty foods too!!!
I need to behave myself the scales have shot back up to 58kg which is no surprise given I have been waffling down carbs and various other comfort food like nobody's business.

After work was straight to the hospital to get my stitches trimmed and saw my incisions for the very first time. Raised and bumpy and PS says I can expect these to become worse before they get better and to prepare myself for some major itching...apparently the tape can come off in a week.

I took notes from the meeting and will try and post these soon. Now to start thinking about scar therapy, massaging and what to use. Tagederm diamond has been suggested as well as silicone gel, so may take to the forum again for recommendations. My concern is hyperpigmentation, as a couple of other scars have ended up pretty dark and I would love to have some nice light scars on the girls...so if anyone has any recommendations or experience please do let me know.

Wishing you all well and enjoying reading/commenting on everyone else's updates.

Night night!
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