Excited and Intrigued: 5 1/2 years post op

I'm 38 and weigh 138lbs. I have an inkling I would actually be petite if I weren't so top heavy...
In the UK I have had real problems getting my GP to take my requests seriously and have been fobbed off FOUR TIMES (there was the female doctor who told me they couldn't be that bad because I was wearing a normal t-shirt rather than a huge jumper or something....oh and the male doctor who told me there is simply no correlation between back pain and large breasts...and my personal favourite, the doctor who told me "most women would kill to have those!" when I pulled up my top). Finally I saved up the money and decided to go private. The journey so far has been fraught with set backs. Firstly I couldn't get the money together in time, then I couldn't get the time off work and when I actually managed to get it all sorted, and even got so far as putting on the gown and sitting on the hospital bed waiting for my surgeon, they took me temperature, it was 104 F, and sent me straight home. Within hours I had flu and was ill for two weeks.

But that was then and this is now and it's HAPPENING! July 8th.

I know everyone says it but, well, that's because it's true. This website has been a godsend and I just want to say a big thank you to every woman who has taken the time to post their stories and photos. I've found it so inspirational and reassuring to be part of this community and it has definitely given me the strength and resolve to go ahead. I'm looking forward to posting more in a week or so. Here are some 'before' pics.

I've had such an amazing few days out in the sunshine and spending time with friends and family. I feel calm and very positive about tomorrow. My operation is at 8am and I have to get to the hospital for 7am. I'm going to camp out in a hotel tonight (the operation is in central London, I live about 50 miles away) and watch the Wimbledon final this afternoon. I'm determined to just have a normal day.
Just one little thing...it occurred to me a few days ago how much fun it is seeing men look at or talk to my breasts lately...because I know they're going, it's just not annoying me anymore. Now it just seems absurd and hilarious.

My original title was "who will I be after this?" and it really does sit on my mind. I've been defined, or rather, I've come to define myself, by these for soooo many years. It affects everything about the way I see my appearance. My friends tell me I'm pretty but when I look in the mirror I just look straight down to the oafish boobs and I'm always assuming others are too. So it's definitely going to take a while to change the way I see myself. I know it's not going to be like I come out of the anaesthetic and think, "Whoop! I'm gorgeous!" Rather, it'll take a while of recognising that I can't blame or focus anything on my boobs anymore. My friend joked the other day, "after your boobs have gone you'll look in the mirror one day and think, 'God my thighs are fat!' ". I hope with all my heart that I'll have the wisdom to not just transfer all my insecurities onto another part of my body and therefore not actually learn anything and develop as a person. I have to be honest and recognise that much of my reasoning for doing this is psychological. So the mind will need changing as well as the body (but I'm assuming the physical me will have a significant effect on the mental me, as well).

God, does any of this make any sense?

Anyway- thanks again for all the comments and inspiration from you ladies out there. I really do feel part of a community here that understands and is looking out for me in a way my friends and family can't really do because, in the end, they haven't been there.

I'm crying writing this. Oh dear, What's that all about.

Wow- Murray won Wimbledon, that was awesome! I had a great afternoon with my housemates and got on the train into London and now I'm at the hotel...alone...and I feel sick with nerves.

I think it's because I know this time it's really happening. It's REALLY happening.